Chapter 20
In the end it didn't matter that they didn't really have big plans: a day together was all that mattered.
Most of it was spent on the couch watching movies, though they went out to visit the market now that everything was really open, and mindful of the fact he might not have another chance, Pete bought things to bring home to Shkalnik for Christmas.
He was over-burdened by the time they left, but Shanti helped him carry things and they laughed all the way back to her place, where he stored his gifts, rather than risk leaving them at the bunk house.
He barely had a chance to see her that week.
The railroad was done within a few more days, but everyone was focused on inspecting the track for the weekend's grand opening.
When he did see her, Shanti was nearly beside herself with excitement, which filled Pete with even more excitement of his own.
Friday evening, almost shivering with delight, she presented him with a train ticket for the steam train that would be opening the tracks on Sunday.
Pete actually gasped as she slid the ticket across the booth table at the gastropub. "How did you get this? I thought the literal first train was reserved for bigwigs and rich people."
"I bought mine the day they went on sale.
" Shanti was practically whispering, like she had to keep her voice down to stop herself from shouting.
"Because even if I had to turn around and come back I was going to be on the first train out of here.
And…I've spent so much time at the station as the railroad is being built.
I asked if anybody had a line on spare tickets, and they knew how important it was to me, so when a spare became available…
" She took a deep, shaking breath. "So we can leave together.
Even if we do turn around and come right back. "
"No way," Pete said firmly. "Now that I know what time we're getting into the city, I'll book plane tickets home. I mean, to Shkalnik."
"Shkalnik is your home," Shanti pointed out with a smile almost as shaky as her breath had been. "Even if you don't live there most of the time."
"Yeah." He smiled at her. "But I want you to remember that if it doesn't work for you, I'm happy to move to Virtue. So I don't want to lean too hard into home sweet home." Then, like a kid bubbling with joy, he said, "A steam train, Shanti!"
Her nerves seemed to melt away into a knee-weakening smile. "I know, right? I mean, I'm excited about it, but I thought you, if you've always loved trains, I thought what a treat that would be for you?"
"It is," he said, heart-felt. "I've been on a couple, but not for a trip as long as this one. Thank you. I honestly can't imagine a more exciting holiday gift, and you're giving me two. This and coming to Shkalnik to visit. I'm spoiled!"
"As if you're not giving me what I wanted, too," Shanti murmured. "A destination. I needed somewhere to go, after I got off that steam train. I couldn't ask for more."
"It's almost like we're perfect," Pete said with a grin, and the last of her jitteriness fell away into a laugh.
"Almost like it's fate, even?"
"Almost! We're done early tomorrow," Pete added with relief. "The last of the inspections are done. There are cargo trains scheduled for tonight, and we're going over any reports they've got, but then…Sunday's the big day."
"The last time I flew anywhere was to Nepal for my grandmother's funeral," Shanti said with a sigh. "Well. And back again, obviously, but…"
"You've had a rough go of it, haven't you?" Pete asked sympathetically, and she sighed again, this time turning it into a groan.
"I don't really like to think of it that way, but sometimes if I take a step back and look at everything…
yeah, kind of. At least—it sounds bad when I say it this way, but at least it was several years between my Nepalese grandparents dying and my American grandparents dying.
I'm not sure how I would have handled it otherwise. "
"Apparently with grace and dignity," Peter murmured. "It seems to be how you handle everything."
"That's because you haven't seen me having an exhausted meltdown over paperwork or the washing machine giving up the ghost or a hundred other things."
"I'd like to think that next time something like that happens, you can wail, 'Pete!' and I'll be there to rescue you."
"Oh, God, that sounds amazing. I think I'll marry you." Shanti's eyes popped round and she clapped both hands over her mouth as Peter let out a delighted half-laughing shout.
"I accept. If you're serious."
Of course she's serious! She's our mate!
Shush, Pete told his bear. We're not rushing things, remember?
The bear rolled its eyes and settled back down as Shanti, her own eyes still huge over her hands, whispered, "I think I am?" through her fingers. "I mean, not right now, but…?"
It was as if his heart filled with joy so uplifting that he could fly away with it. "Name the time and place and I'll be there. I'd love to marry you."
"Even though we've only known each other two weeks?"
Pete raised a finger. "Two weeks and one day. Makes all the difference."
"It doesn't," Shanti said, eyes bright. "You'd have married me the minute we ran into each other outside the train station."
"Yeah," he murmured, reaching across the table to take her hands.
"Yeah, I would have, because I trust fate, but let's face it, that would have been weird.
What was I going to do, throw you over my shoulder and cart you off to the courthouse?
Ask the judge to perform a ceremony while you threw things at me and tried to run away? "
Shanti curled her fingers between his. "Maybe not. I can't imagine what I would have done. I did think you were gorgeous, but I'm not sure that would have been enough to make me say an instant yes to a 'death do us part' kind of commitment."
"I think that probably says good things about your judgement," Peter said very solemnly, and Shanti's shoulders shook with amusement even as she asked, "Your family won't think it's crazy? Not that we have to tell them, since it is in fact crazy, but…"
"My family are like me," Pete said, lowering his voice even though he avoided saying 'shifters' out loud. "They'll understand and think it's great. But we don't have to tell them if you don't want to. I mean," he said, putting on a mock-injured air, "you didn't even get me an engagement ring."
Shanti burst out with one of her rare big laughs that he adored. "What was I thinking! I'm a terrible fiancée!"
"I'll take 'swept away by the moment,'" Pete offered, and she ducked her head, giggling now.
"I suppose that works. Are you sure?" she asked more softly. "I know that we can trust fate, but we haven't actually talked at all about anything like marriage or kids or…anything big like that."
"I'd like both," Pete said with an easy shrug.
"I like the idea of marriage, of standing up in front of everybody and saying 'we want to make this official.
' I'm guessing it means something to you, too, since you just proposed.
Kind of." He winked, and she put her hands over her face again, but she was smiling behind them.
So was he, as he went on with, "I would like kids, but that's mostly up to you, especially since we, uh, we usually breed true. "
Shanti's eyes went big again and she sat up, expression warring between astonishment and realization. "Right, of course, you almost have to, don't you? Or you'd die out. So…cubs?"
Pete promised, "They're very cute," and then, wanting to clarify, added, "they do start out human, just with the ability to shift, though they don't usually do that until they start being more mobile. Especially if their shifter parent doesn't show them it can be done."
"Oh, thank goodness. How would you explain your baby turning into a bear at play group?"
They both giggled, and were startled when the waiter brought them a dinner Pete barely remembered ordering.
He left Shanti's side reluctantly after dinner, but the anticipation of taking the train and going to Alaska together got him through the next day.
The overnight tests on the rail line had passed with flying colors, and the workday was spent with more cargo trains testing the line and a sense of a job well done from the crew.
By that time, most of them knew Pete was taking the train out of town with a girl on the following day, and he endured good-natured teasing and real envy from his coworkers, who unsurprisingly loved trains as much as he did.
He packed up his gear that afternoon, and, heart hammering with excitement, headed for Shanti's house.
Unexpected chaos met him at the door. There were clothes, bedsheets, movies, plates, for heaven's sake, and dozens of other weirdly random things all over the living room, like a tornado had swept through the house and dropped it all there.
Shanti was wild-eyed, nervously stressed out, and collapsed into his arms when he arrived.
"I used to be able to pack for a trip without a problem," she wailed.
"Now I'm trying to fit everything but the kitchen sink into my suitcase! I don't know what's wrong with me!"
Peter put his own bag down and swept her up into his arms, carrying her across the living room to plunk down into the couch with her. "Breathe. It's okay. Just breathe for a minute. I'm here."
"Why can't I pack? Why am I trying to bring everything? What's going on?" She did take some slower deeper breaths, though, gradually matching his own deliberate breathing and finally starting to relax.
Only then did he murmur, "I promise we have toothbrushes in Alaska," which made her give a little snort of pained laughter.
"Okay, that's probably part of it. I might feel like I'm going to the ends of the earth and who knows what I might turn out to need. But honestly, Nepal is farther and I used to do that trip alone as a teenager!"
"It's probably a bunch of things," Pete suggested. "For one, when was the last time you actually left Virtue?"
Shanti stiffened in his arms, then groaned and shook her head.
"I don't know. More than five years ago.
I mean, I've gone out to Syracuse—I did that just a couple weeks ago—and down to the city a couple of times for medical stuff for my grandparents, or paperwork, or…
but it's been a long time since I've left the state, anyway. "
"That's probably part of it, too," he murmured. "But I think I probably know the big thing, if you want me to make a guess."
She nodded against his chest and Pete exhaled, trying to choose his words carefully.
"I'm guessing you've never gone very far at all without having someone here to come back to.
It must feel a little like you need to take everything with you now because there's no one else here to keep an eye on it, and maybe you're a little afraid you won't ever see it again if you don't bring it with you. "
Shanti was silent a long time before saying, "You mean I'm trying to bring my grandparents with me," very quietly.
"Yeah," he whispered. "Yeah, I think maybe you are, in a way. If you bring all of this with you, you'll know you'll see it again, even if you can't see them again."
"That makes sense." She turned her face against his chest and eventually sighed. "Yeah. That makes sense. Okay. I think I can probably pack now."
Peter chuckled and glanced over the living room. "And maybe I'll tidy up?"
"That would be so nice of you," she mumbled. "I don't know when I'm coming back here, but it'd be nice to not come back to a disaster area."
"Nothing's a disaster with you at its heart," he promised. She snorted a happy-sounding disagreement, and after a soft, slow kiss, crawled out of his lap to pack her bags. Pete got up to tidy after her, and by morning, they were ready to go.