Chapter 21 #3
She paused for a moment. “Well, I disagree. What about all those times after your parents came down on you and I had to build you up just to go outside and see the river with me, or after prom when you were so down and we ate ice cream and had a movie marathon all weekend?”
“We did that because you were so down after prom.”
“Maybe the first day, but the second day was all you.”
She stared at the table thinking through those times, realizing that Sam had always been there even when Drea thought she’d been masking her true feelings.
“And I’ve always thought you were great because you are great,” Sam said. “You’ve been the best friend a girl could ever ask for. And you’ve put Jake above all else, always. You don’t know what that means to me.”
Drea smiled at the thought of Jake.
“So.” Sam gestured to her water. “What’s this about?”
Drea sighed, not wanting to talk about it, but knowing she had to. “I, um, started drinking a bit too much after the breakup. A lot too much actually. Things got out of hand.” She scratched her neck, feeling a little too vulnerable. “But I’m working on it and taking it one day at a time.”
Sam put her hand on Drea’s arm. “I’m sorry.” She glanced at her margarita. “Shit, I’m sorry.” She moved her drink to the side of the table.
Drea shook her head. “You’re fine.” She knew it would be an adjustment before Sam got used to her not drinking.
“You know I’m always here for you, right?”
“Yeah.” Drea glanced at the table, because the truth was she felt pretty alone nowadays. Even though they saw each other almost daily at work, it was different. She missed her friend, her family.
Sam continued. “I know things have been rough the past few months. I’ve been absent and I’m sorry. I’m trying to figure out how to juggle all of the things, but I love you and I would drop everything for you. I hope you know that.”
“I do. I’ve just been struggling a bit with where I fit into your and Jake’s life now. I’m glad you’re happy with Ash, but I miss you sometimes.”
Sam looked incredulous. “Drea, you’re family. You always have been and you always will be . . . and, for what it’s worth, I think Cassie’s pretty great.”
Drea nodded. “She is.” The thought of Cassie’s smile earlier warmed her, but the pain of knowing they weren’t together anymore stilled her.
Sam met her eyes. “And so are you. I know your parents were really strict and your family dynamic was very different than mine growing up, but they didn’t see you for who you are. And that’s their loss.”
Drea gave her a weak smile and Sam took her hand.
“You have so much to offer. I’ve just been waiting, hoping that one day you’d realize it.
I’ve known you a long time, Drea, and I’ve never heard you talk about anyone the way you talked about Cassie tonight.
It’s your decision, but I don’t think you should give up on her so quickly.
” She squeezed her hand. “Give her a chance. And give yourself one too.”
Cassie groaned, and Digit nuzzled deeper against her on the sofa as if trying to offer more support.
She had been trying unsuccessfully to zone out to some mindless TV, but her mind kept returning to the party that afternoon.
How embarrassing. She felt so stupid for thinking Drea had given her the butterfly ornament.
Helping Sam pick out something that she knew would mean so much to Cassie, that Cassie had shared with her and her alone, it felt .
. . it felt . . . she didn’t know how she felt.
Her brain and thoughts were muddled, a million emotions surging through her and gripping her chest as tears started to form.
No! She wasn’t going to do this. She wasn’t going to cry over Drea for weeks or months or any amount of time.
It was over and the sooner she got out of this funk, the better. And only she could make that happen.
She grabbed the TV remote and clicked it off, then hopped up from the sofa and moved the coffee table out of the way. She needed her one true thing—her one safe haven. She grabbed her phone and selected a song.
As the hauntingly beautiful acoustic notes began, she put one foot en pointe, a position as familiar as breathing from her many years of ballet.
She closed her eyes, feeling each note in her heart, and raised her arms slowly to arc above her head.
As Taylor Swift began to sing the words to “Safe and Sound,” the beauty and sadness in her light, breathy voice raised the hair on Cassie’s arms.
She took a step forward and began to dance around her living room.
The initial gentle and measured movements progressed to free-form as the lyrics progressed, and tears began to fall down her cheeks.
But as the song picked up, Cassie burst forward, releasing everything, the hesitation in her movements and the thoughts swirling in her mind.
She twirled and leapt and punched through the air as if nothing could ever hold her down.
And when the notes finally stilled, Cassie fell to her knees, panting, exhausted, and finally . . . free. She didn’t know how long it would last, and it didn’t matter, because in this moment it was enough.