Chapter 10
CHAPTER TEN
I didn’t get back to my hotel room until late Sunday. The surgery went alright, and I stuck around, hanging out with Jamie.
If I was disappointed about the warehouse, I didn’t show it. I knew I would get back there in time. Now, I was too exhausted and needed to get back into therapy mode, reminding myself I needed to be ready for Emery’s next session. I hadn’t slept well again, the dreams only growing more weird and wild.
That next morning, I woke up late. I went out to a small library in town to do some work on my paper before returning to the hotel to dress in my usual blouse and skirt for my session. As the sun slipped away, I took the road to St. Agnes as usual, thinking more on what I could do for Emery. How I could help him before it was too late. It was only when I parked and made my way up the steps did I realize I hadn’t thought once about the confession I’d planned out since deciding to try and help him. I wondered whether I would now as I swung open the door, and the thought flew away and disappeared into nothing as I halted in the front lobby, my stomach dropping.
“Eve?”
The man before me looked at me, stunned. Black eyes that reminded me of a shark’s. His sandy-brown hair was shorter than I remember it being back in high school. He grinned as he walked toward me and I could hardly move.
“Ethan,” I nearly choked. “What are you doing here?”
He laughed, raising his arms so I could see he was clearly wearing a security uniform. “I work here. But I had to switch shifts. I usually work the weekends and early mornings. Wow, it’s been years though, how are you?”
I didn’t know what to say. Ethan Asher was one of the infamous jocks. A star on the famed hockey team for my old school. But also a huge troublemaker who got himself nearly kicked out twice. He also had a thing for bullying me and my small group of friends. Even in a private school with mostly everyone having well-to-do families, the top brass still had to pick on someone.
“I’m fine. I work here too,” I said, trying to look around him for John.
His eyes drifted down me. “You a nurse?”
“Therapist.”
“No shit. Did you get in so much therapy yourself it taught you everything you needed to know?”
I moved around him to the desk where Kyle, a guard who usually worked with John, sat, talking to someone on the phone.
“Sorry, I was just kidding,” Ethan said behind me. “Seriously, it’s just surreal to see you. I wondered about you, you know, after the massacre. In fact…shit…you know he’s here, don’t you?”
I fixed him a cold gaze. “Who?”
“The Devil of Harper Pointe. The crazy psycho who killed your family.”
I looked away from him, my blood turning cold. No, this couldn’t be happening. Not now.
Kyle looked over as he answered someone on the other line. I had no idea if he heard him. “You can take her up,” he said. “She's seeing a patient in room nine. The others know what to do.”
I closed my eyes. No, no… fuck .
“You got it, be right back,” Ethan said to Kyle, then turned to me. “Eve…you can follow me.”
I went through the door as Kyle buzzed us through. “It really isn’t necessary. I can go up by myself.”
“How long have you been seeing him?” Ethan asked, approaching the stairs. “Are you seriously giving your dad’s killer therapy? Does anyone know?”
“I don’t really want to discuss this with you,” I said, following him. “It’s a special circumstance. I’m doing my thesis on him. That’s all.”
As we climbed the steps, he paused and looked at me. “No one knows, do they?”
I glared up at him. “Why does it matter?”
He came down a step to be more level with me. “It’s dangerous. I’m guessing patient nine doesn’t know who you are either or he wouldn't be continuing to see you. He’d be trying to get out of his chair to strangle you till your neck broke.”
My face heated. “I need this time, Ethan.”
He smiled. “Are you trying to get back at him, is that it?”
“No, it’s not—”
He put up his hands. “I don’t blame you, seriously. What he did to you, it’s messed up.”
I pursed my lips. “Please. Please, don’t tell anyone.”
He studied me seriously. “I get it.” He turned and we started back up the stairs. “I’m sorry about high school by the way.”
“Which part?” I blurted. And hated myself for it. Now was not the time to bring up old wounds.
“All of it, I guess. Though I’ll admit, I don’t really regret homecoming.”
“You mean when you tried to feel me up?”
He pretended to look horrified. “No, hell no, I meant asking you out. Shit, but I was drunk, wasn’t I? I hardly remember. I’m sorry about that too.”
“Great,” I mumbled, continuing to the second floor.
“Do you forgive me?”
I couldn’t believe this conversation was happening. But if that’s what it took to end it, then… “Yes, I forgive you. But only if you let me do my work here.”
“Sure, sure,” he said.
Finally, he left me alone once we got to the second level security point. “I better get the bastard ready for you,” he said. “I’ll be sure to make it unpleasant for him, don’t worry.” He winked at me and left before I could protest.
Anxiously, I paced the security room, waiting, watching the monitors and cursing under my breath as the idiot pulled Emery out of his room and hit him with his baton for no reason, while the other men took time to chain Emery’s arms and legs. When he came back to get me, he had a huge grin on his face. “All ready for you, Doc.”
As we got to the meeting room, I worried Ethan was going to follow me in.
“Therapy is private,” I told him, blocking the doorway.
“You're right, sorry.” He put his hand on my shoulder. “I just don’t think you should be so close to that guy, you know?”
My heart hammered, horrified and ready to hear him make some slip about me to Emery. For Emery to hear.
“I’ve been seeing him for a while,” I said in a low voice. “I feel fine and perfectly safe.”
Ethan’s gaze flicked past me. The amusement in his eyes was gone, his body going rigid. His hand quickly slipped off me. “Alright. Suit yourself.” He turned away. “But I’ll be close.”
I wondered about his sudden change in attitude when I glanced back into the room and saw Emery’s head turned toward us with a look that could kill. But his burning gaze wasn’t directed toward me.
“Who's the new sack of meat?” he asked when I took my usual seat opposite him.
“Just a guard taking John’s shift.”
“You know him,” he said.
“Yeah, he’s someone I knew from high school. It’s nothing.”
Emery straightened. “But he wasn’t a friend, was he?”
I laughed. “And what makes you think that?”
“You're irritated.”
I huffed. “It doesn’t matter. Let’s not talk about it.”
Emery watched me, his sharp eyes intense. “I can probably get a good chunk out of his leg if he gets close enough,” he said casually. “Maybe break a kneecap if he pulls me up the wrong way again.”
“No!” I snapped. Then I covered my eyes and laughed softly. “No, please. Just forget about him.”
Emery sighed as if I were no fun. “Alright. Fine.”
I tried to collect myself. Ethan was a problem. If he said anything to Dr. Langley or Hannah…
“What’s wrong?” Emery asked, sounding concerned.
He needed to know; it was now or never. “Emery, I just…you’ve been doing really well.”
He tilted his head. “I’ve been trying for you. You know that, don’t you?”
I smiled sadly. “I do. But, Emery, the therapy…it only does so much. The journal writing, the meditation, the eating and sleeping habits, confronting your fears, it all helps in small ways. But…”
Emery leaned forward slowly. “But?”
I pursed my lips. Why did I feel so awful telling him? “If you truly want to heal…to recover from your past, to make the nightmares disappear, to make the smiling woman go away…Emery, the medication…”
“Why…why can’t the therapy be enough?”
I shook my head. “It just isn’t, sweetheart, I’m sorry.” I was trying to talk to the terrified child in him, to make him understand.
The look he gave made my face and neck warm. “Sweetheart…” he whispered.
“If you don’t start trying to take it…” I swallowed hard, treading carefully. “They won’t let you stay here. You’ll be transferred to a place that won’t try to help you. Even your life could be at stake. I’m sorry, Emery, but they will do this if you don’t take the medicine.”
I could see him working it out in his head. “And you’ll be gone. I won’t see you.”
A knot twisted in my stomach. He didn’t care about the rest, just that. “That’s right. You won’t see me.”
He was silent for a long time, and I thought maybe he would never respond. I let him remain that way for as long as he needed, the whole session if need be, until he said in the softest voice, “As you wish.”
“You will try?”
He bent his head. “I will.”
My heart swelling, I went to him and, without thinking, I put an arm around him and my head on his shoulder. “Thank you for trying, Emery.”
He sighed, his shoulders rising and falling. He didn’t say a word, but I could imagine what he was thinking and feeling.
When I lifted my head and slipped my arm from him, I caught Ethan by the doorway, his eyes on me, shaking his head.
Even though he said he would, it took time for Emery to be comfortable with me bringing the medication to him. I set it out with a cup of water as usual and I could see it working its usual response in him. I didn’t pressure him to take it. We played a few games and I didn’t mention it at all. I fully expected him to not take it, that he wouldn’t be brave enough just yet. But, as I put away the game, the session nearing its end, I noticed him staring at the little pink pill.
“Okay,” he said.
I watched him for a moment to be sure. He nodded. Without a word, I took the pill and the cup and went to him. I lifted his mask only a little above his mouth, noticing scars, but not daring to comment. Carefully, I put the pill to his lips and he took it, his tongue brushing against my fingers. I had to stop myself from shivering as he swallowed. I brought the cup of water to his lips and he drank it down.
I stood by him, waiting, ready for him to spit the pill out.
He didn’t. He sat quietly for a moment and I thought he might actually be okay.
“See.” I set my hand on his shoulder gently, smiling at him. “You’re okay, Emery, you did—”
He shot forward, making me yelp. His head was between his knees and he threw up violently, chunks spewing across the ground, some hitting my foot.
Shit.
I watched in horror as he lost his dinner. The pill with it. I gripped his shoulder and looked toward the doorway and saw Ethan there with the other guards, a baton in his hand.
“I need a nurse!” I called.
“Nothing they can do for that.” Ethan laughed. He took up his walkie and turned it on. “I need maintenance down to level B for clean up,” he said into the speaker.
Five minutes later, Emery stopped throwing up but was still bent forward, dry heaving. A thick-browed, pot-bellied, and heavily tattooed man rolled in a bucket and mop as he gave me a nasty glare.
“Pull him out of the way,” he said to the guards. Ethan and the others came around and, not so gently, slid Emery’s chair back.
“What did you do, kiss him?” Ethan asked me as he stood beside Emery, blocking him from me. “Just joking.” He grinned when he saw my expression. “You can go; we’ll get him to his room.”
“I want to talk to him for a second before you do.”
“Haven’t you done enough for the guy?”
There was a clanging of chains behind him. “ Let her ,” Emery said in a low growl that made the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end.
Ethan turned to him. “Now, man, you aren’t looking so good. You should lay down. Here, let's put your mask on right, huh? Or would you prefer it off?”
I grabbed Ethan’s arm as he moved to reach for Emery. “Touch him and you’ll regret it.” It was only meant to be a warning, not a threat, but Ethan eyed me with a cold stare.
“Eve, I’m just trying to do my job. You need to step back, okay? We got this. Please let go of my arm.”
I did so albeit reluctantly. Before I could demand to do it, Ethan turned around and slipped Emery’s mask back over his mouth. Another guard entered the room with a wheelchair, planting it next to Emery.
“He’s not handicapped,” I commented.
“Just a precaution in case he gets dizzy. I mean, the man practically threw up his insides. What did you give him, seriously?” Ethan asked.
I looked at Emery sadly. “Just his medicine,” I whispered.
Emery met my gaze. And I could tell he felt sorry too.
As the janitor cleaned up the mess, Ethan and the others moved Emery to the wheelchair. Emery didn’t fight them. He looked tired, as if the anxiety of the pill drained him completely. Even though I knew getting him to take it was for the best, I still felt awful.
As they started to wheel him out, I lurched forward, taking his shoulder. “Thank you for trying,” I whispered to him.
He took a shaky breath. “Tomorrow…”
I squeezed his shoulder before letting him go.
The next day, he did try again. This time, I made sure to have a bucket ready. He got sick again and this time he broke into an awful sweat that turned into intense body shakes.
“You're doing it, Emery,” I said, rubbing his back. “I know it’s hard but you're doing so well.”
Ethan watched us from the doorway, criticizing every move I made. Shaking his head like he couldn’t believe what he was witnessing. I wished he wasn’t there. I asked about John, but was told he had a family emergency out of state and would be gone for the week, maybe longer. Ethan was the one who volunteered to pick up his shifts.
Every time he was there, I felt the tension rising, afraid he would make some offhand remark about me to Emery or mention something to Dr. Langley. But for whatever reason, he kept silent, though I wondered for how long. When I was forced to interact with him, he just smiled at me like the secret between us now made us friends. He talked to me like we were and I tried to be civil but short.
“This is a little crazy, don’t you think?” he said after the guards returned Emery to his room and I made my report.
“What exactly? Helping someone who is deeply troubled?” I said.
“Your family’s killer.”
I wanted to knock him hard in the face every time he mentioned it. “What does it matter to you?”
“Because he doesn’t deserve your help. No one in their right mind would do something like this…” he eyed me thoughtfully. “You're doing it for a reason, aren’t you? Some kind of weird-ass revenge, maybe?”
My stomach twisted. How much I hated he was right. Or at least had been at one point.
Maybe I still was. Maybe in some fucked up way, healing Emery was some kind of revenge. So that when he could no longer use his demons to hide him from what he had done, he might look clearly and see how much he had hurt me. It hadn’t been something I was focused on in that moment though, not at all.
“You don’t know anything,” I told Ethan as I slipped down the hall while he followed.
“Make me understand then,” he said. “How about you talk to me about it over a drink?”
I halted and turned to him. “Are you seriously asking me out to a bar?”
“Or cafe. Come on. We can catch up a little. So much has happened since then. Everyone wondered what happened to you.”
I turned from him and kept walking.
“You know there was a rumor you died too? Or that you ended up in a place like this ’cause it broke you so bad?”
I slowed. “I did seek help…but not at a place like this. I just wanted to be left alone. And if I want to talk to someone about it, I have friends.”
“So…there are others who know you’re doing this?”
Fuck me and my mouth. “Yes. So there’s no reason for you to say anything to anyone.”
“Friends are different. Are you going to tell me Dr. Langley would have let you near him with so much past between you? And the likelihood you might hurt him.” I heard him hiss softly in a gasp. “You're going to poison him, aren’t you?” he whispered. “The pills are laced.”
I whirled on him, horrified. “No. No, that’s not true.”
“The guy is fucked up, I agree. But clearly, he’s here for a reason. They think he’s ill. So what better way to kill him off slowly. Cruel but genius, I’ll give you that.”
“I’m not trying to kill him!”
Ethan put up his hands in defense. “Alright, hey, not trying to piss you off. But you have to admit, it’s suspicious that you’re here with him. And I can’t say how long until someone catches on.”
He didn’t have to say it, but I knew he was a threat to everything I was working on. I left him to turn in my report to Dr. Langley.
“I heard you were able to get Emery to take his medication,” Dr. Langley said, taking my report and putting it on his desk. “Wonderful job, Eve, truly. This is amazing news.”
I stared at the report, thinking of what Ethan said.
Just tell him. Tell him before it comes out from someone else. Then Emery wouldn’t have to find out. I could say I had to leave, and for some personal reason, I couldn’t continue.
But I was so close to getting Emery on his medication. I knew if he found out now, he wouldn’t see the improvement it could make. Plus, I wasn’t ready to stop seeing him. It was fucked for sure, but helping him was somehow helping me.
“He doesn’t react well to it,” I said. “He gets sick. But he is trying.”
“And that’s a start,” Dr. Langley said. “Keep up with it as much as you can. I will let Dr. Hannah know too. We’ll see how it goes in the next few days or so and then we will have another meeting to discuss Emery’s possible future.”
“Meaning…I might still be able to stay longer,” I said.
“Possibly. If Dr. Hannah feels it’s necessary, of course. But if you are still interested, I will talk with her.”
I nodded. I went to leave then stopped and turned back to him. “Is there a chance I could come in and see Emery at different times other than my usual session times?”
Dr. Langley raised a brow. “I suppose you could, though it’s unusual for one to visit at off hours. And we would have to consider the guards’ schedule, when they change.”
“Of course.”
“Emery usually gets outside time in the day if you want to see him then. Just let security know ahead of time. I’ll give you the number to the front desk.”
I took the numbers he gave me on a slip of paper and plugged them into my phone later. I sat in my car for a long moment before I drove to the hotel.
I did everything I could to calm my nerves that night, hoping for one good night of rest. I took a long shower and got carryout from a local diner and watched funny videos on my phone, saving some that I would show to Emery later. I popped a Xanax and drank some herbal tea, then let myself slip away with the TV on.
Everything was dark, and then voices sounded in the distance, mingled with laughter and the clinking of glass. I walked down a hall toward the sound until the dark turned to a kaleidoscope of colors, and I was standing in a crowd, with lights and lanterns changing above me. The room was large and familiar. I saw a staircase to one end and the portrait of Agnes to one wall, smirking at me.
A party at St. Agnes was odd but it didn’t seem to concern me. Even seeing Jamie and Lena walking around didn’t disturb me. The echo of their voices rang out to me, calling me to join them. Come celebrate, come play. From the door of the entrance above, I saw a ripped and bloody banner reading: HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I whirled around, catching the skirt of the red dress I wore, and laughed, feeling carefree, feeling so incredibly happy.
But there was a shadow watching me. A lonely shadow who called to me too. Pulled me toward it. Like a sleepwalker, I moved through the crowd toward the doors of the east wing.
When I walked down another dark hall past Agnes’s portrait, I heard the sounds of children crying. I walked past the narrow rooms and heard the soft banging of their little fists on the doors, begging to be let out. Their cries turned to awful screams that grew louder and louder until I rushed into a room at the end, letting the door bang behind me.
The cries were silent, and Emery was there alone, sitting in his chair.
“I missed the party,” he said. “I never get to have any fun.”
“We could have fun,” I said.
He tilted his head at me, his skull face smiling. I noticed a cart with a tray on top next to him, his medication sitting there.
“But first, you have to take your medicine.” I popped the pillbox and took out a little pill, holding it between my fingers. I lifted the mask above his mouth and slid the pill between his lips, letting him taste me too, letting his tongue slide across my thumb, letting his teeth graze against me as I slipped my fingers out.
“Now swallow,” I ordered.
He did, and his lips curled, the scars creating a twisted smile.
“Good boy,” I cooed, sliding my fingers across his lips. Then I righted his mask.
The chains were gone, and he stood, towering over me. A long knife appeared on the tray, and he took it, gripping it tight.
I followed him back through the hall and the rooms were silent. The party was still alive, full of people.
Emery moved into the crowd and stabbed a man in the back. Then a woman.
One by one, he cut their throats and gutted them. He slashed and stabbed every person in the room, and I felt ecstasy at the sight. My insides tightened and warmed to each stroke of his blade.
It felt like hours or seconds had gone by and soon only bodies lay on the floor. Emery was bent over Jamie, and as he straightened, he looked to me, his golden eyes lit like twin flames.
Slowly, he faced me, and then stepped over the bodies, stalking like a predator toward me until he was only inches away.
My heart hammered as if I should scream and run, but all I did was smile at him.
He lifted his bloody blade and brushed the side of the knife across my throat tenderly. I gave him access as he trailed the blade across my skin. His other hand collared my throat, and he backed me into a wall, then lifted me.
“Happy birthday, Evee,” he whispered in my ear. He pressed his hips into me, and I ground against him until I was undone, coming and screaming.
I woke to the bed sheets around me, drenched in sweat and my body throbbing. I gasped at a shadow by the TV and nearly knocked the lamp off the dresser as I turned it on.
I panted, blinking away the dream, as the shadows disappeared. I bent forward and groaned, covering my face in my hands.
So much for a good night's sleep.