Chapter 28
The next day I head to the Coleman house to visit Rich. Ella said that his cancer has spread to his liver and lymph nodes. They’re not sure how much longer he has. Could be anywhere from a few weeks to a few months. He’s decided to forego further treatment and chose to stay home and have in-home hospice care.
Juliette has deferred law school for a semester, and both she and Ana have temporarily moved back home. They want to be there to help him, support their mom, and spend as much time as they can with their dad before he leaves them. It’s a very emotional time for everyone, and as much as I’m sad about Sebastian, it’s a relief to be able to be with my closest friends during such a difficult time.
I don’t know what to expect when I arrive, but I’m surprised to see Rich in good spirits. He’s sitting in an armchair in the living room with a tray table beside him that has a water cup with a straw and a bed pan. Ella warned me he might vomit while I’m here.
The twins’ mom, Jennifer, is sitting on the floor building small block towers with Apollo. The twins, Ella, and Brian are playing The Game of Life. It’s Brian’s favorite. After Brian finished filming his latest project, he pushed his schedule back six months because Ella needed him. She found one of the good ones for sure. I try not to think of Sebastian when I see Ella and Brian together, but I fail. I can’t help thinking Sebastian and I could have had what Brian and Ella have. My heart throbs once, but I push down my disappointment. Now isn’t the time for it.
Rich gives me a bright smile when I enter the room, despite looking more exhausted than I’ve ever seen him. His skin is a sickly yellow, and he’s lost so much weight. He’d been looking more and more tired the last year or so, but now it’s obvious that he’s very, very sick. I can’t believe how quickly he’s declined. Still, his face lights up when he sees me. “Vivian!”
I swallow back a lump in my throat and force a smile. “Hi, Rich.” I give him a gentle hug. He feels so fragile, so breakable in my arms, that my eyes gloss over, and I sniff. Rich shakes his head. “None of that,” he says. “If you start, the girls will all start, and we don’t want to upset Apollo.”
I pull in a deep breath and let it out slowly. I can be strong for him. I smile through my emotion. “Sorry.”
He gives me a look of pleasure when I regain my composure. “Really, there’s no sense in getting so upset,” he says. “It doesn’t help.”
I’m sure it doesn’t.
“It’s really good to see you.” He takes my hand, and suddenly, it’s him struggling with an onslaught of feelings. “I can’t thank you enough for what you did for my girls.”
I blush and try to wave off his gratitude. Not that I don’t appreciate it, but now that I see him, staying on the show seems like such a silly little thing. All of my anger and frustration since joining the show was insignificant compared to the Coleman family’s problems. I’m glad I was able to help them. I’d do it all again in a second even knowing Sebastian would break my heart. “Forget it. It was nothing. I was happy to do it.”
His smile fades, and he shakes his head. “It wasn’t nothing. Not to us.”
This time he’s so sincere that I can’t brush him off. I squeeze his hand. “I’m glad I was able to help. You know I’d do anything for your family.”
His eyes drift over the room filled with his loved ones. The longing in his gaze is heartbreaking. I can’t imagine how he must feel knowing that he’ll never walk his daughters down the aisle or watch his grandson grow up. It’s not fair.
He gives himself a moment to be devastated, but then he shakes off his melancholy and grins at me. He waves to the sofa beside his chair. “The girls made me watch a season of Marry Me.”
I laugh. “Not exactly your style.”
“It was torture,” he agrees, and I laugh again. “But I was curious, and now I’m dying to hear all about your time on the show. Tell me everything. Did you like your bachelor? Ana and Jules had very different opinions about him, and Ella said you two had great chemistry.”
Another pang of sadness socks me in the gut, but my smile doesn’t falter. “I really can’t say much. My NDA is intense. Pretty sure they can take my firstborn child if I give away spoilers. You guys already know the outcome anyway. The girls were there when Sebastian cut me loose.”
“Don’t tell us anything else,” Juliette says. “I don’t want any more spoilers. I’m really excited for the season to air.”
I sigh. “It’s going to be the craziest one yet, that’s for sure.”
“I can’t wait,” Jennifer says. “We’re going to have a big party to watch the season premiere.”
“Forget that,” Juliette says. “We’re going to have huge parties for every episode the entire season.”
The conversation then turns to these epic parties, and then eventually onto other topics. Rich drifts off to sleep, and Brian takes Apollo home to get a nap. Jennifer wanders off to start dinner, and the four of us girls end up vegging in front of the TV. In true Coleman fashion, Ana turns on the twins’ favorite entertainment news show. Celebrity Gossip is no better than a sleazy tabloid. Brian and Ella can’t stand it. They’ve been the topic of conversation on the show many times, and it’s never been flattering. But Ana and Jules will always love their celebrity entertainment.
Halfway into the program, a photo of a very familiar face fills the screen. I recognize the portrait of Sebastian from his company’s website. It’s a handsome picture. Sebastian looks all business in his pinstriped suit and power tie. He’s gorgeous, but he looks formidable. I wouldn’t want to have to broker a business deal with him. “Big news today for all you Marry Me fans,” a female’s voice announces. “The show’s host Aaron Wright has come forward with a big secret about the season’s bachelor, billionaire Sebastian Monroe, CEO of Monroe Financial. More details after a quick break.”
I gasp. What has Aaron done? What secret is he about to reveal to the nation?
“What’s he talking about?” Ana asks.
I shake my head, unable to tear my eyes away from the TV. My heart starts pounding in my chest, and I fill with worry for Sebastian. “I don’t know, but I doubt it’ll be good. Sebastian did have a secret about why he went on the show. He promised to tell me after filming because he didn’t want the world to know.”
We all watch, transfixed, when the show returns from commercials. Pictures of Aaron and Sebastian are put up side by side. Aaron looks angry, mouth open and hand raised as if he’s in the middle of giving some passionate speech. The one of Sebastian is not flattering. He looks arrogant. He’s frowning and his eyes have that grumpy, bored look that he constantly sported at the beginning of filming. A huge caption in big block letters above the pictures reads: aaron tells all!
The pictures shrink to a corner of the TV screen, and the show’s bubbly blonde host appears. “Aaron Wright of the popular dating show, Marry Me, caused a stir in the reality TV world today when he came forward with a startling secret about the upcoming season’s bachelor. He described Sebastian as an arrogant grouch who was less than polite to the season’s contestants vying for his attention. ‘He was rude, disdainful, and sometimes hostile toward the women. Even physically assaulting one woman when he pushed her to the ground.”
My heart stops. Physical assault? How could Aaron twist the truth so badly? This is going to be really bad for Sebastian.
“What?” Juliette shrieks.
Ana scoffs. “Oh, please. Bridget was practically molesting him. He pushed her off his lap. That’s all. He didn’t assault anyone.”
“More than one woman chose to leave the show because of Sebastian’s beastly manners,” the host continues on in her cheerful, excited voice. She’s the perfect woman for this show. I can’t imagine there’s a person who loves to gossip more than she does on the entire planet. She’s constantly hurting people and ruining reputations, knowing that everything she says is a twisted version of the truth if not complete lies.
“And that’s not the worst part,” she says, making my breath catch as I wait for whatever could possibly be worse than accusing him of assault. “Sebastian is a fraud. Marry Me prides itself on its bachelors being genuine and sincere in their search for love, but according to Aaron, Sebastian isn’t interested in love at all. Sebastian’s father, Alexander Monroe, passed away just over six months ago, leaving his fortune and company to Sebastian. But there’s a catch. Sebastian has one year to be married, or he will be disinherited and lose everything.”
I gasp. I don’t want to believe it, but it makes too much sense. It’s the piece of the puzzle that I’ve been missing this whole time.
“Could that be true?” Juliette asks.
I don’t answer until a hand comes down on my shoulder. I startle and tear my eyes away from the TV. It takes me a moment to figure out what she said. “Probably,” I answer.
A strange numbness fills me. I don’t know how I feel about this news. Can I believe that he only came on this show to save his fortune? Yes. I can. It would explain why he was doing it when it was so clear he didn’t want to. But do I think it’s some horrible thing? Is it so dishonest that I feel lied to or tricked?
“I’m sure he would have told you,” Ella says, sympathy in her voice.
Juliette chimes in her opinion, too. “Who cares why he went on the show? That doesn’t make him a bad person. It doesn’t mean he didn’t care about you.”
Ana turns the TV back on mute when a new story comes up. “It’s not that big of a deal. He needed to get married. So what? If it were any of us, we’d have done the same thing. I can’t blame the guy.”
I smile at all of my friends. I know what they’re trying to do, but it’s unnecessary. “I’m not mad at him.”
They all rear back in surprise. I laugh one small laugh. “He wasn’t dishonest. He told me from the very start that he had to get married no matter what. He didn’t explain why, but he was upfront that he was doing this whole thing because he needed a wife. So he’s doing it for money. That’s not that big a deal. It’s not very altruistic, but for a billion dollars? I’d get married, too.
“And besides, his motives may have been coerced, but that doesn’t mean his feelings were insincere. I know he cared about me.”
“You’re so sure?” Ana asks. Her caution isn’t a surprise. Of everyone, she’s the biggest skeptic and the least trusting.
At least in this answer, I’m confident. “Yes. I’m sure. He cared about me. The man isn’t an actor. He couldn’t have faked his feelings so well. Plus, his actions weren’t the actions of a deceitful, manipulative man. He was genuine and thoughtful. He was kind.”
I stew in my thoughts for a moment, really trying to figure out how I feel. I’m upset, but it’s not because of the secret. “I’m not mad,” I say again. “I’m just depressed because this means he’ll for sure choose someone else.”
The truth slams down on me, crushing me and forcing the wind from my lungs. My eyes start to burn, and I have to blink them rapidly to keep them from tearing up. I feel sick. He’s going to choose Emma.
Ella grips my shoulder again. “Vivian?”
I meet her gaze, feeling as if I’ve been run over by the truth. “He’s going to choose someone else,” I repeat. “He has to.” I shake my head, desperate to find a way to deny it, but no matter how hard I try, I can’t see any other way. “I guess deep down I thought he might not choose one of the other women, and he might call me after the show, but he won’t. He can’t. He needs a wife.”
I glance helplessly at my friends. They’re each looking at me with sympathy. “I never told him how I feel. I couldn’t. He straight-up asked me if I would marry him, and I said nothing. He has no choice but to pick one of the others.”
That’s another devastating blow. He’d worn his heart on his sleeve for so long, but I was never confident in my feelings for him. I never told him I love him. I never even told him I’d like a relationship. I was scared. I waffled back and forth. Hot and cold. “It’s my fault,” I croak. “If I’d just shown more interest. If I’d just been less afraid, he wouldn’t have let me go.”
A long silence settles over the room until Juliette quietly asks, “Isn’t that what you wanted? For him to release you?”
Thoughts and feelings whirl around inside me like a raging storm. “Yes,” I say, though the answer is much more complicated than that. I did want to be released from the show. I did want to be able to come home and be with my friends. But I didn’t want to have to give up Sebastian to do it. I don’t want him to marry Emma. And not because I feel jealous. Sure, there’s a little jealousy, but mostly I know she won’t make him happy. And he won’t make her happy, either. They both deserve better than that. Because I’d been so wishy-washy, none of us are going to have our fairy-tale ending. I’m such an idiot.
* * *
Not going to lie, I mope for the next couple days. When I’m not with the Colemans, I watch half a dozen seasons of Marry Me with my close friends Ben and Jerry. I lie around in my pajamas, wondering what Sebastian’s doing. Which woman is he with? Whose family is he meeting now? Do they like him? Is he getting closer to Emma now that I’m gone? Are they hitting it off? Will I ever find someone like him again? I know the answer to that one. No. No, I won’t. He’s one of a kind.
I’m somewhere in the middle of season seven and nearing the bottom of a pint of Chunky Monkey when there’s a knock at my door. I ignore it. The knocking comes again, louder this time. “Vivian!” Ella calls. “Don’t make me break in. I will bust out your window.”
I don’t think she’ll really break my window, but she’ll never leave until she sees me. She’ll knock all night long. She’s a stubborn one.
Sighing, I pull myself out of bed and unlock the door. I fling it open, then go back to my makeshift nest of pillows and blankets and unpause my show. Ella snakes the remote out of my hand and turns the TV off. “That’s enough of that.”
I frown at her.
“Alice has a show at the Orpheum tonight, and we’re all going.”
A concert? “I’m not in the mood.”
“I don’t care. This is a huge gig for them, and we’re going to support them. Besides, things with Dad have been so stressful, we all need a night out.”
She walks over to my clothes racks and starts putting together an outfit.
“Who’s all?” I ask.
She names off like every friend I have. “You, me, the twins, Brian, Dylan, Jesse, Rhett, Carla, and Astrid.”
I groan. “The twins, me, and seven of the most famous people in Hollywood? The paparazzi will be all over us. I’m sick of cameras.”
“We’re sneaking in through the back and have a private VIP section reserved. It’s already arranged.”
Well, that’s a little better. Still…
Ella sits down next to me and takes the tub of ice cream out of my hands. “I gave you the customary three days. Now it’s time you get it together.”
I snort. “So glad my love life is pathetic enough that my mourning period has become tradition.”
Ella smirks. “It does make things easier. Now, get up and take a shower, stinky. You have to dress us both, or I’m going like this.” She waves at her mom jeans and faded Boston Red Sox T-shirt. She doesn’t look bad, but it’s definitely the wrong thing to wear to a concert at the Orpheum.
Low blow. She knows I could never let her make a fashion faux pas.
“All right, fine. I’ll come.”
She smiles victoriously.
We get dressed, and I hate to admit it, but I feel much better after I shower and put on real clothes for the first time in three days. By the time we get to the theater, my mood is much lighter. Ella was right. I needed to get out.
We meet the others at the venue, and I’m immediately wrapped up in the biggest pair of arms in Hollywood. “Mi bailarina hermosa! I’ve missed you.” Jesse squeezes me in a rib-crushing hug, then gives me a rare, serious look. “He’s an idiot.” Then, because he can’t be serious for more than five seconds, his concern vanishes and the big, cocky smile he’s known for comes back. “His loss, my gain. When are we going on our date?” I open my mouth, but he cuts me off before I can get a word out. “This doesn’t count.”
I roll my eyes, even though I was just about to tell him this is a date. I’m saved having to answer him by everyone else giving me a round of hugs. We all take our seats, and I’m happily squeezed in between Juliette and Ella. We’re all a bit subdued, but we manage to smile. We order a round of drinks, and when they come, we raise them in a toast. “To friends,” Jesse says.
“To family,” Ella corrects.
Dylan chimes in next. “To Alice getting such a kickass gig.”
Juliette throws her arm around my shoulders. “To Vivian’s freedom.”
I swallow hard. It’s amazing, because all I wanted the entire time I was on the show was to be sent home, and now that it’s happened, I wish I was back there, finishing it out with Sebastian. Everyone must see my face drop, because the laughter and smiles die.
It’s Ana who breaks the awkward silence. She lifts her glass and says, “To another failed relationship.”
“Ana!” Ella cries, horrified.
Everyone yells at her, and Juliette even smacks her. “Oh, ease off,” Ana snipes. “I wasn’t talking about Vivian.” She smirks. “Everett is history.”
This gets everyone to shut up. “When did that happen?” Juliette asks.
Ana rolls her eyes. “Since he called me a stuck-up bitch and hooked up with some slut he met in a club.”
“We didn’t like him anyway,” Ella says. “You can do better.”
“Who’s Everett?” I ask. Ana’s had a lot of boyfriends. I don’t remember that one.
“A nurse I met in the hospital after Dad’s surgery.”
“Douchebag,” Brian mutters. “Who hits on women in the waiting room of a hospital?”
Juliette scoffs. “Who agrees to go out with someone while waiting for their father to come out of surgery?”
Ana shrugs. “He was hot.”
That earns a laugh, and I throw out a toast of my own. “To Ana’s bad life choices.”
We all finally raise our glasses and drink. I settle in my chair and smile to myself. I love my friends. I love my life. I may not have Sebastian, but things are still good. I’ve never let a man get me down for long. I won’t let this one wreck me, either.