Chapter 10
This wasn’t justsex or fucking. I almost became numb to the act with all these women, always knowing the outcome. That was until I met Julia. It had been years since I wanted to get to know the woman I just rolled around with for almost an hour. This desire hadn’t struck me since Libby, the one real relationship I had. The more I thought about it, Libby wasn’t even close. During my time with Libby, I was super young, being pressured by my mother to court this young girl because she fit a certain angelic mold, and if I was being honest, then? I totally wasn’t into it. Libby was during a time of my life when I struggled with letting my mom down, and to think such a personal part of my life was invaded by my weird mommy issues made me shudder.
Except, here I was. Completely spent after the most amazing sex with this enigmatic woman lying inches from me, and all I wanted to do was talk to her. Find out the minute details that built this woman into the whole. Rolling my body toward Julia’s, I extended my arm. I pulled her sweaty, panting form against mine, triggering a startled yelp from her sexy mouth. I laughed and pressed my lips against hers, and seconds later, her velvet tongue brushed past my lips, exploring my mouth.
“You’re wild,” Julia said, smiling against my mouth.
“Is that a bad thing?” I ground my thickening length against her warm inner thigh, making her squirm. Wrapping my arms around her body, I made sure she couldn’t go anywhere—not that she was trying to escape. Quite the opposite. Julia hugged me, pulling me as close as she could until I lost my breath when her plump tits pressed against my chest.
“No. No, it is not.” Her cobalt eyes scanned my face while biting her bottom lip, driving me wild. Just her simple movements were enough to make all the blood rush to my cock. Was I under some sort of spell? What was it about Julia? Yes, she was gorgeous, but beauty was beauty. It only lasted so long and would never carry me to a point of worship. Julia was so much more than a superficial attraction.
“When can I see you again?” My words came out choppy, making my heart skip a beat.
Julia tensed for a split second in my grip before relaxing. She pushed off my chest and cradled her chin in her hand. “Is that what you want?”
“Are you kidding me right now?” My fingers danced along her arm, causing goosebumps along her skin. Julia tried to avert her gaze from mine, but my index finger redirected her chin, so she had to look at me. “I want to get to know you.”
A struggle swam in Julia’s bottomless eyes, and I knew in my heart she wanted us to get to know each other, but there was a hesitation that deterred her from saying yes. And I wasn’t going to give up. She was worth it. All of it, even if she didn’t know it yet.
“I want to get to know you better, too. It’s just…” Her voice withered, causing me to frown. “This is new to me. It’s been a while.” Julia’s agile fingers trailed down my chest, and I sucked in a sharp breath.
“I know. Five years.”
Julia shook her head no. “It’s been a long time since I’ve had someone genuinely interested. Whose full attention is on me, and I’m the focus.” Julia sat up, but my hands still lingered around her narrow waist. “It’s a little overwhelming.”
“We can take it slow.” I winced at the corny line, probably having no idea what I was even saying, but I didn’t want to lose Julia, and this had nothing to do with sex. I guess my life had been missing that spark of connecting with someone with a simple glance. And that was what Julia was to me. A person found in an ordinary background, bringing an extraordinary light. She was real. I was about to say something when my eyes caught a small horizontal scar at the bottom of her abdomen, right above her pelvis.
Julia caught my stare, and her hand covered the imperfection, but my left hand stopped her movement.
“Can I see?” My eyes pleaded for cooperation, and after a brief stilled struggle, she allowed me to trace the light pink scar with a single finger. “Is this from a c-section?”
“I had to have one when I went into labor with the girls. Since they were twins, I knew I wouldn’t carry them to term. And I was right. They were born just shy of thirty-seven weeks.” Julia smiled as she recalled the memory. Soon, her hand covered mine over the reminder as she continued. “Zoe was born first. Sara came two minutes later. Zoe always reminds Sara that she’s the older sister.” She snorted. “They’re great kids. I’m very lucky.” Julia breathed as her eyes dropped to my hand, still lingering over the scar.
“If I’m being honest, the scar is sexy.” I winked, and Julia rolled her eyes.
“You don’t have to say that; you don’t need to try to make me feel better.” Julia scooted up the couch until she lay supine on the other end. She tried to reach for a throw to cover her body, but my arm blocked her from reaching the faux fur blanket.
“I want to look at you more.” My hungry gaze trailed over her body, memorizing every curve, every minute detail. I wanted Julia etched in my mind because who knew when would be the next time I’d see her.
A rush of color painted Julia’s cheeks, but she didn’t fight my request. Instead, she placed both hands behind her head, permitting my eyes to feast on her flesh. “I’ve never had a man look at me like you do.”
“You’re just so different.” The words fell from my mouth.
“Different? How am I different?” Julia craned her head, fighting a budding grin.
“How you move and speak is just so…effortless. It’s like you being you comes so naturally.” Even I was shocked by how I was speaking. Never had I scrutinized someone, breathing in their existence, especially after sex. Usually, once I scratched that itch, I was done. Except here, it was just beginning.
Julia laughed, showcasing a set of perfect teeth as I snuck a glance at her. “Wow. Me being me is natural.” She nodded through the lingering chuckles. “Okay, that’s a new one. Do I dare want to know who you’re comparing me to from the past?”
I grimaced because if Julia knew just how much of a man whore I had been since breaking things off with Libby years ago, it might be enough to send her fleeing. “Let’s put it this way.” I repositioned myself, so I joined Julia on the opposite end of the couch, and she scooted over to accommodate my frame. “This is me being honest, so don’t laugh, okay?”
Julia’s large eyes stared back, telling me I could trust her. “Tell me.”
“People know me as having a type.” I ran my hand through my messed hair, wishing I hadn’t opened this door, but it was too late.
“A type?” Julia moved closer, but I knew her body language said to continue.
“Yeah. You know, blonde hair, blue eyes, and long legs. Looks that would get anyone through the front door.” I inserted air quotes with my fingers.
“Seriously?” Julia’s raised eyebrow.
“Yeah, but they never lasted. And it wasn’t because of them. It was all me.” I draped my arm around Julia’s still body, and her statue pose left me on edge. Had I said too much? “Have I turned you off yet?”
“Not completely.” Her bottomless brown eyes stared back at me, and she booped my nose, triggering a smile. “Here’s a loaded question. When was the last time you slept with someone?”
Fuck. I could lie, but Julia deserved honesty. “Three weeks ago.”
Julia did a double-take when she realized we had met just about that long ago. “Wow.”
“But do you want me to be really honest?” I hoisted myself up, readying myself to be a complete open book, a first for me.
“At my age, who has time for lies?” The corner of Julia’s mouth lifted.
“Ever since we met, I haven’t wanted anyone else.” My fingers trailed along her collarbone, and I almost forgot how to breathe once the confession spilled from my lips.
“Oh, you’re full of it.” Julia threw her head back and laughed while scooting up and away from me. She grabbed a faux fur tan blanket from the back of the couch and covered herself.
“What? You don’t believe me?” My heart lurched as I watched Julia shut down and realized what I needed to do. “Fine, fine. Don’t believe me, but I guarantee you that one day you’ll see I’m not full of shit.”
“One day, you say? Does that mean you’ll be sticking around?” Julia thrust her tongue into her cheek.
“For now, if you behave.” I winked, the corner of my mouth lifting. A part of me wondered if she was trying to be cute, or if she really wondered if this would be our last goodbye when I thought we were just getting started. “So, can I ask you a question?”
“I don’t know. Can you?” Julia’s grin spread, almost contagious. Soon, I was grinning back.
“Very funny.” I shifted an inch closer. “You don’t have to answer, but what happened between you and your ex?”
“Ah, I was waiting for you to ask.” Julia pursed her lips, and her eyes darted everywhere except my face. A rush of color flooded her cheeks, and it wasn’t from post-orgasmic bliss. She was embarrassed, and I officially felt like a dick.
“Hey, forget my dumb question, okay? How about, what’s your favorite food?” I wrapped my arm around Julia’s shoulders, pulling her into me. When her head nodded against my chest, I eased my grip so she could meet my gaze.
“I wasn’t my ex’s type anymore. And the answer is plain cheese pizza.”
“Mmm, pizza.” I sighed while my mind struggled to figure out what Julia meant. Did the prick cheat on her? “Now, when you say you weren’t his type anymore, does that mean he cheated on you?”
Julia tensed, and her gaze darted away from mine. “It”s not that simple,” she murmured.
“Well, if he did, he’s a complete moron for letting you go.”
She swallowed, her throat clicking. “Yeah, Peter cheated.”
My fingers dug into her skin absentmindedly before they softened again. What a complete fucking idiot. Didn’t this fool know what kind of woman he had in Julia? And trust me, I knew since I had slept with plenty. “Well, she was probably a real ditz and compared nothing to you.”
“Oh yeah. Joel can act like a real ditz sometimes.”
I froze. Joel? A man? Was Julia’s ex-husband gay?
Julia bit her bottom lip, and I could tell she regretted what she just said, but it didn’t stop her. “What was even crazier was my initial reaction when I found out he cheated. I actually felt bad for Peter. He was miserable in our marriage because he was too scared to be who he wanted to be. He blamed his father and rigid views from his upbringing. At one point, he claimed he did love me and thought our love could push those hidden desires away. But they kept coming back until he resented me.”
“He acted nasty to you?” I ran my hands through Julia’s dark locks, ensuring she knew I was very much there.
“More like stayed at work as much as possible but was always vicious at home. It was not physically abusive like you would think. It was more emotional. I could never do anything right in his eyes. He was always one to put me down, or even when I did the right thing, he said I should have done it another way. A better way. By the time I had found out about the affair with Joel, I was a completely defeated person.”
My heart ached with every word spilling off Julia’s tongue. I had never felt the urge to save someone like I had while sitting here. Except, Julia didn’t need to be saved. She just needed a person to listen to her. Someone like…me.
“For a long time, I felt like the most pathetic and stupidest person alive. But, with time and some decent therapy, I’ve realized it had nothing to do with me. It was all on him.”
“Yes. Exactly, Julia.” I kissed her smooth forehead.
“But that doesn’t mean I’ve learned to build back the trust again.” Her eyes slowly lifted until they were locked on me as if throwing a warning banner up.
“I get it,” I said and added, “but you have to let some people in eventually. Otherwise, your life is going to feel empty.” I pushed myself up, bringing her with me so we were arm to arm.
“You sound so much older for your age, young man.” Her index finger traced my lower lip as I cracked a smile. “Does this mean you still want to see me again, or have you learned enough?”
“Babe. Trust me when I say we’re just starting.” My teeth nipped her invading finger before she removed it and replaced the intrusion with her mouth. And I had never meant anything more than what I had just uttered. This strange new beginning for Julia, letting her guard down after five years, was a fresh start for me, too.