Chapter 27
“Mom? Hello, Earth to Mom?”Zoe said, snapping her fingers in front of my face.
“Don’t snap your fingers,” snapped Amelia. “That’s rude.”
“You’re not my mom.” Zoe shot a wicked scowl at Amelia, who remained unaffected.
“Just leave Mom alone,” Sara mumbled into her plain bowl of pasta.
“Girls, just stop. I’m fine,” I said, clanking my fork against my uneaten pasta bowl. But I was so not fine. Not after Amelia came over and told me who she saw in the Stelvio’s parking lot: Brett and some chick getting into his car. My heart fought my brain, trying to convince it that Brett wouldn’t betray me like this. But this was harder than I anticipated, and all I wanted to do was throw up.
Everyone sat around the kitchen table, but no one enjoyed their meal. After my sour mood at work and Peter canceled taking the girls to dinner because he had a last-minute thing that meant a date, I scurried and declared it a bottomless pasta night.
Oh, and on top of this new discovery? Brett hadn’t called or spoken to me since the last supper with his mother at the gala, where I also learned all about Libby. What a terrible twenty-four hours. Seriously, fuck.
“Girls, isn’t this so delicious?” Amelia said, tossing an abundance of grated parmesan cheese onto the dry pasta.
I might have suggested this impromptu pasta night for damage control because Peter bailed on our daughters last minute, but I also forgot to buy sauce. All we had in the house was olive oil, and while I could have called Brett, asking him to bring us sauce to save our meal, he hadn’t spoken to me, and I was still pissed at him from the dinner.
“You don’t have to say that, Amelia.” I kept my eyes glued to my plate and sighed, pushing my pasta around the bowl with a fork.
”Mom, are you okay?” Zoe asked, her voice filled with genuine concern.
”Yeah, Mom, you seem really off,” Sara added.
“It was a tough day at work.” Amelia’s weak attempt to save me failed.
I mustered a weak smile. ”I”m just tired, girls.”
“Did something happen between you and Brett?” Zoe asked, her eyes wide with cautious curiosity.
I paused for a moment, my heart sinking at Zoe”s question. This wasn’t the time to lie, and I had always made it a point to keep an honest and open line of communication between my daughters and me, especially after the divorce. ”There have been some...complications,” I began, glancing at each of their concerned faces. ”Brett and I might be having a rough patch right now.”
“It’s a very small patch, though. So, no one needs to worry,” said Amelia, downing her glass of water, probably wishing it was wine. “Very small patch.”
I rolled my eyes and bit my inner cheek. “I don’t want anyone to worry, though. No matter what happens, we’re going to be okay.”
“I don’t understand, though. What happened?” asked Zoe, pushing her plate away. “As of yesterday morning, things were great.”
I wasn’t sure if Zoe meant things were great between me and Brett or if things were great here in this house. “Well, as you know, I met his parents last night.” I cleared my throat, shifting in my seat. “And it didn’t go that well.”
“Ugh, I’m sorry, Mom,” said Sara, taking my hand in her smaller one.
I smiled gratefully at Sara and squeezed her hand. “Thanks, sweetheart. It’s okay, though, really. We”re just figuring things out.” I glanced at Zoe and Amelia, who were waiting for more details. ”His mother...let”s just say she didn”t approve of me.” I struggled to keep the bitterness out of my voice.
“She can go to hell, then,” spat Zoe.
My eyes shot to her while Amelia snickered in the background. “Let’s just relax. Again, this is just a weird time for Brett and me. But again, everything is going to be fine.”
“We’ll see,” mumbled Zoe.
The room fell silent, and I was sure everyone had lost their appetite. The seconds passing felt like minutes, and soon, those minutes felt like hours.
“Well, if no one wants to eat anymore, would anyone like to help me clear the dishes?” Amelia suggested, putting on an extra perky tone.
Sara was the first to help Amelia clear the table, while Zoe kept me company. I didn’t expect Zoe to scoot closer and put her head on my shoulder next.
“I’m sorry his mom was such a bitch to you.”
I half-laughed and fought back a tear. My hand cradled Zoe’s face, and I rocked our bodies slowly. “It’s not just that, Zoe. It’s a lot of things you won’t understand now, but maybe when you’re older.” I kissed her head. “I love you.”
She buried her face in my side how she used to do when she was five and shy in a new situation. The nostalgia tugged at my heart, and I finally let a tear cascade down my face until it dripped onto the table. I quickly wiped the moisture from my cheek before anyone caught my crumbling emotions.
Zoe pulled away, her green eyes wide in concern. ”Mom, is everything going to be okay?” Her voice trembled.
”Yes, sweetheart. Everything will be fine,” I said with a smile, trying to reassure her. But I couldn”t help but feel the weight of everything bearing down on me.
I glanced at Zoe, who was watching me with concern and curiosity. I knew I had to be honest, but she was only twelve. I couldn”t break her heart by telling her everything about my complicated relationship with Brett.
Instead, I took a deep breath and decided to shield her from the reality that was forming outside the kitchen. ”Zoe, sometimes things don”t go as planned, and that”s okay. We”ll find our way through it, just like always.” I suddenly realized Sara wasn’t anywhere in the room, and I couldn’t remember where she went. My heart lurched when I failed to pinpoint her location, and my eyes darted wildly around the room.
“Sara went upstairs to shower. She told you that was her plan during dinner, but you were too busy thinking about Brett,” added Zoe with a sad smile.
And my heart broke. I had to do what was best for my girls, and that wasn’t being wrapped up and torn apart by someone else. “Oh, okay. Sorry about that. Again, just a lot going on, but we’re going to be fine.”
Zoe met my gaze with a twitch of her lips and silently went upstairs. When I heard Zoe’s room door slam and Sara’s shower, triggering pipes thumping behind the walls, I collapsed on the couch with Amelia.
She pressed her head against my shoulder, gazing up at me. “Talk to me, babe.”
“I can’t believe he saw Libby,” I said, admitting defeat with the knowing silence. I lifted my eyes to the clock. It was 10:30 PM, but I was wide awake and miserable. “The girls are probably asleep.” I shifted on the couch, away from Amelia, trying to get comfortable, but it was hopeless, just like everything else. “You’re probably exhausted. You don’t have to hang out with me.”
“Oh, stop. I’m not going to leave you like this.” Amelia draped an arm around my limp body. “And you don’t know if who he was with today was Libby.”
“He didn’t speak to me today. I texted Brett this morning asking what I should make the girls for dinner, but he never answered. He’s never done that before. If anything, he has acted obsessed with me since I let him call me his girlfriend. And today into tonight, nothing.” I shook my head. How could I slip and fall like this? I should be stronger. Then again, I guess this was that shitty part of being human with a heart. ”I just... I can”t help but worry,” I confessed, my voice barely a whisper. ”What if he”s having second thoughts? What if I”m not enough for him?”
Amelia shifted closer, her eyes filled with understanding. ”You are more than enough, Julia. Don”t ever doubt that. If anything, you’re too much.” She flashed a flirty, sexy smile responsible for melting men’s bodies across New York. “If I were a lesbian, forget about it. I can’t keep up with you and all your layers.”
I laughed, throwing my head back.
“Seriously. I’m not joking.” Amelia nudged me.
The giggles kept coming, and soon, tears did too. I didn’t know if they were happy or sad, but I let them fall and cover my face. Soon, I was the only one making any noise in the room, and it wasn’t laughter. I was sobbing, my shoulders shaking, my head hunched over, resting in my hands. Brett was slipping away, and I knew this was inevitable. Amelia pulled me closer, her arms wrapping around me tightly. She let me cry into her shoulder, offering a comforting presence as I let out all the pent-up emotions building within me. It was a release I desperately needed, and Amelia understood that.
After what felt like an eternity of tears, my sobs gradually subsided. Amelia stayed with me, her touch grounding me in the present moment. With every passing second, I felt a sense of clarity wash over me. I knew what I had to do.
Taking a deep breath, I leaned back and looked into Amelia”s eyes. ”Thank you,” I whispered, my voice still trembling.
She smiled softly, her thumb gently wiping away the remnants of tears off my cheeks. “You thank people too much.” Amelia leaned forward and kissed the top of my head. “How about I make us some coffee?”
I nodded gratefully, appreciating Amelia”s ability to know exactly what I needed without me having to say a word. As she got up to make the coffee, I took a moment to collect myself, allowing my breathing to steady and my mind to clear. The weight pressing down on me seemed a little lighter now, as if I had finally found a glimmer of clarity amid the chaos. Sipping on the warm cup of coffee that Amelia had handed me, I gazed out of the kitchen window, watching the soft glow of the streetlights in the distance. The night finally felt quiet, and I welcomed the silence.
“You make a good cup of coffee,” I said, smiling at Amelia.
“Yeah, well. I’ve had my fair share of practice. All those mornings, I have to give these guys something to give them energy to get them out of my house.”
I giggled, taking another hearty sip. “You’re unreal, you know that?”
Amelia grinned over her white coffee mug and shrugged.
“Don’t ever change,” I added.
And then, there was a soft knock coming from the front door. Both our heads shot up, and our eyes bulged. Who the fuck? It was almost 11:30 PM. Maybe it was an animal.
“What was that?” I asked.
“Like I would know?” Amelia snorted.
The knock came again, quicker this time.
“Maybe a lost raccoon?” Amelia suggested, completely serious.
We exchanged a quick glance before cautiously approaching the front door. As we approached, the knocks grew louder and more urgent. This wasn”t the sound of a curious animal anymore; it was undeniably someone at the door. Amelia reached for the doorknob, but I pulled her back by her shirt.
‘You didn’t look,’ I mouthed.
Amelia was about to peer through the peephole when the knocks erupted loud and urgent. We jumped back from the door, and Amelia pulled out her phone without thinking.
“Fuck this,” she said. “I’m calling the police.”
I nodded as I watched the locked doorknob jiggle from the other side, and my heart dropped to the floor. Was I going to puke? Oh God, this can’t be how this day ended. Me fending off an intruder while Amelia tried to put together a coherent sentence as she struggled with the police operator. The intruder seemed to give up for a minute when the knocking and doorknob jiggling ceased.
Amelia told the 911 operator to hold on, unsure of what to do next, and I took a slow step forward to the door when a small rock hit the side window. Amelia and I jumped back, shrieking.
“Fucking shit!” Amelia screamed into the phone.
My eyes shot to the window, and I saw the fucking guy. But he wasn’t just any guy. It was Brett pushing his way through the overgrown evergreen bushes.
“Brett!” I yelled, clutching my heart. I swore I lost five years of my life.
Amelia’s eyes darted to where I stared at Brett, the bushman. “Do I hang up?”
I shook my head, my mind racing with relief, confusion, and anger. ”Just... tell them it”s a false alarm,” I managed to say, trembling. The operator”s voice faded into the background as Brett approached the front door.
I unlocked the door and swung it open, and all logic flew out of my mind. I threw myself into Brett”s arms, feeling a strange sense of comfort in his embrace. His familiar vanilla-spiced scent enveloped me, instantly calming my frayed nerves. “You saw Libby, didn’t you?” I spoke into his chest.
He smoothed the top of my hair, swaying us in the doorway. “It’s over.”
I tensed and forgot how to breathe, how to swallow, but my grip around his body tightened.
“What’s over?” Amelia asked, hands on her hips.
“Hi, Amelia.” Brett smiled, lifting his chin off my head. My hands dropped from his body, wondering if that was the last time they’d ever feel him.
Amelia crossed her arms and marched over until she stood next to me. “Don’t say hi to me. Or say hi to anyone. What do you mean it’s over?”
Brett frowned at Amelia and shifted his eyes to me. “How did you know it was Libby?”
I bit my lip, unsure of how to answer Brett”s question. The truth was, I had no concrete evidence that it was her. It was just a hunch, a gut feeling that had been gnawing at me since meeting his parents. But as I looked into Brett”s eyes, I saw a flicker of guilt, a shadow that confirmed my suspicions.
”I... I could just tell,” I stammered, twisting my fingers. “I’m not mad, though. I’m disappointed.”
“Can we talk in private, please?” Brett’s eyes begged me to agree and for Amelia to take a hint.
“Amelia, you don’t have to stay,” I said.
“Will you be okay?” She stepped closer, a flash of concern spilling across her face.
“I’ll be fine.” A weak smile barely convinced Amelia, but it was enough for her to nod and gather her things. I walked her to the door as Brett stood silently still, half in, half out of my house. When Amelia stepped out into the cool night air, I closed the front door behind her, my heart pounding. Brett and I were left standing in the entryway, the weight of our unspoken conversation hanging heavy in the air.
“Libby showed up today at work. But I swear, Julia. Nothing happened. We had lunch. I gave her closure, told her I was happy, and had found someone who made me happy. I told her I hope she finds herself a Julia…except a guy version.” Brett stepped closer and reached for my hands, his fingers toying with mine. Brett swallowed and moved his hands until they gripped my shoulders, leaving a simmering warmth, but I started to shake. “I don’t want Libby. I don’t want anyone else. I only want you.”
Our foreheads pressed together, but my insides continued to tremble. His hand cupped my face, and I finally leaned into his touch. “But you didn’t talk to me at all today. Why?”
He peered at my red-rimmed eyes. “You’ve been crying?” The question pained Brett to ask, his brow scrunched.
”No,” I lied, shaking my head. My heart skipped a beat as he pulled me against his chest, our bodies fusing together.
“You’ve never seen me get overwhelmed.” He cradled his chin on the crown of my head. “When this happens to me, I get quiet. But I won’t do that to you again. I promise.”
Brett’s arms wrapped around my body, calming the emotional storm building inside me for weeks. I closed my eyes, allowing relief to wash over me, and for the first time in years, I wasn”t alone.
A few minutes later, we tiptoed to my bedroom, careful not to wake the girls. We peeled off our clothes, and while Brett readied a steaming hot shower for us, I stared at my tired reflection in the mirror hanging behind my bedroom door. The chaos and fear that had consumed me earlier was replaced by a sense of serenity, of being anchored in Brett”s presence. As the steam from the shower filled the room, I slipped out of my robe and stepped into the thick air. Brett joined me soon after, his tall, muscular frame fitting snugly against mine. The water cascaded down our bodies, washing away the day’s stress. We stood beneath the gentle spray, our bodies entwined as if trying to merge into one. Brett”s strong arms wrapped around me, pulling me closer as the water enveloped our intertwined bodies. Any doubts or reservations melted away in that moment, replaced by a raw desire that surged through my veins.
But being in here with Brett wasn’t about sex or what our bodies craved. It was about being close and shutting out the world that might have cast doubts on us or my mind that may have driven those doubts. As I gazed into Brett’s unwavering stare, I knew he was mine, and I was his world. It was the safest I had felt in a long, long time.