Chapter 32
Brett
How’s your day going, beautiful?
My face hurtfrom smiling when I read his message, and it dawned on me. Why was it so easy to text with Brett? Every day, I woke up to a ‘good morning’ message, and at bedtime, he wished me ‘sweet dreams.’ We hadn’t spoken about seeing each other in person yet, and sometimes, I wondered if we ever would. Or were we stuck in a pendulum motion of saying sweet utterings to each other with the promise of nothing? All the balls were thrown high into the air, but no one knew whose court they would land.
Two knocks thundered from my office door, and my head shot up to Amelia’s figure leaning halfway into my room. “What’s up?” I asked.
“You have a new client,” Amelia said, none too convincing.
“A new client? I didn’t see anything on my calendar.” I shuffled the mouse, awakening my screen, and the desktop calendar showed no meeting of this kind.
“She’s looking for a fresh direction for her supermarkets.” Amelia leaned on the door frame and thrust a tongue into her cheek.
“Supermarkets?” An eerie heat flooded my cheeks, and my stomach flipped. This sounded too familiar.
“Should I send her in?”
“Um, yeah, sure.” I quickly smoothed my already flat hair and pressed the front of my blouse to my chest and stomach.
Seconds later, Amelia escorted Natalie into my room. Brett’s mother and I locked eyes, and when I shifted my eyes to Amelia, something told me she knew exactly who it was. She left silently, leaving me and Natalie alone. I eyed the woman, looking perfect in her pale yellow cashmere sweater and pleated charcoal gray trousers.
”Julia,” she said, her voice tinged with a hint of formality. ”It”s been a while.”
”Yes, it has,” I replied, trying to sound composed and unaffected by her presence. But deep down, my insides screamed and twisted. What was she doing here? Did she know the latest with Brett? The questions swirled in my mind, threatening to overwhelm me. “Please, have a seat.” I gestured to the empty chair across from the desk. I sat, and she followed. We stared momentarily at each other before I reached for a pen and clicked it open. “So, how can I help you? You want to rebrand your supermarkets?” I winced, never sounding so lost and unprofessional.
“I don’t want to waste your time.” Natalie laughed. “You know why I’m here.”
I squinted, unsure if I was staring at a bitch or not.
“I came here to apologize,” Natalie blurted, frowning. “I see how Brett’s handling this whole schism, let’s call it. And then I think about how I treated you at the gala and bringing up his ex.” She shook her head. “I was out of line, and I’m sorry. You know, I only want what’s best for Brett. He’s my son.” Her eyes fell to the floor briefly before lifting to meet mine. “And it’s you. So, how could I be upset about that? You’re a good person, and I was selfish. Maybe controlling? I acted out.” Natalie pressed a hand over her heart. “I hope you’ll forgive me.” Natalie’s eyes scanned me, feeling completely exposed. “There’s some sadness there. I see it in your eyes.”
The lump in my throat grew too large to swallow, so I nodded instead.
“Stop fighting it, Julia. Go see him.”
I bit the inside of my cheek, averting my eyes to the ceiling, and prayed the tears wouldn’t fall. Natalie”s words echoed in my mind, reverberating through the hollow chamber of my heart. Stop fighting it, Julia. See him. It was as if she had reached inside my soul, plucking out the fear and uncertainty that had kept me paralyzed for weeks.
“If you don’t mind me asking,” Natalie began, “but what happened with your first marriage? Why did you divorce?”
I half laughed. “I wasn’t his type anymore. My ex-husband fell in love with a man.”
“Oh.” Natalie’s face fell, but her eyes pooled with sympathy. “Did you have any idea?”
“Um, no?” I cleared my throat. “It wasn’t always a loveless marriage, but toward the end, it became messy. He just kept lying to me.”
“For some men, lying is the only thing they’re good at doing.”
We laughed and, for the first time, shared a moment. It was nice.
”Thank you for apologizing,” I said sincerely. ”It means a lot.”
Natalie nodded, craning her neck. ”Brett loves you, and I don’t think he’ll ever stop loving you.”
I meant to speak, except a sob escaped instead. “You think?”
“Of course.” She smiled. “I’ve never seen Brett love someone the way he loves you. And I saw that night how you looked at him. I think your bond is what threw me off the most. I have never seen my son in love. It’s real.” She shifted, crossing her legs. “What are you worried about when it comes to being with Brett? And talk to me like I’m a friend and not his mother.”
Shit. We were really going to do this. Taking the deepest of breaths, I opened up. ”Honestly, Natalie, it”s the age difference that worries me. Brett is at a different stage in his life than I am. I believe he’s still figuring out who he is and what he wants. And then there”s me, a divorced single mother trying to rebuild her life. It feels like we”re on different paths.”
“Is this how you’re going to feel with every man that comes into your life?” Natalie stared back at me with those fiery blue eyes.
“Every man?” The thought raced in my mind because the idea of being with someone other than Brett sent rocks into my stomach and shards of glass to my heart. I wanted him. But to truly want and deserve Brett, I had to be truthful. I leaned back, my heart pounding. “I’m going to be honest with you. My divorce left me with trust issues, and sometimes, I worry that Brett will break my heart too.”
“But isn’t finding that great love worth the risk?” Natalie clasped her perfectly manicured nails on the desk, leaning in. “Look, I’m not trying to convince you to get back together with Brett. That’s not why I’m here today. It’s just… I see you. You’re a wonderful and accomplished woman. Your success has opened so many doors for you and your girls. I’d hate to see you suffer personally because of the fear that holds you back.” Natalie”s eyes softened as she reached across the desk and placed her hand on mine. “Don’t let fear win.”
Her warm and reassuring touch reminded me of the tenderness that Brett often showered upon me. Suddenly, my heart felt torn between the fear of being hurt again and the possibility of love being worth the risk. My eyes glazed over with fresh tears. When I lifted my gaze to meet Natalie’s warm stare, she nodded, granting me permission to let anything I held inside go.
And I did just that. Soon, my face grew wet from the tears falling, and I felt free for the first time. I wasn’t trying to mask my concerns or hide my hesitations. I was just being me in the moment, and it was incredible. As the tears continued to stream down my face, a weight lifted off my shoulders.
The fear. It was gone. And I was shedding it in front of the least likely person I ever imagined.
Natalie’s hand dangled a floral handkerchief inches from my face. I took the silky rag and dried my face.
“You can keep it.” Natalie gestured to the soaked napkin.
“Thanks,” I mumbled, smiling through the opaque napkin. “So, do you need help with marketing for your business?”
Natalie threw her head back and laughed. “No, sweetie. I don’t. I just needed an excuse to come talk to you.”
“I figured,” I said, allowing a final sob to escape through my chest.
“You’re going to be just fine, Julia. I hope you believe that.”
“I do.” I smiled and nodded. “I really do.”
Natalie left five minutes later, and it was time to answer Brett’s text.
Me
When can we see each other?
I waited, biting my newly manicured light pink nails, waiting for the three dots to appear on the screen.
Brett
Soon.