Chapter 44
Chapter Forty-Four
Hallie
A fter waking up to Ben’s head between my legs and an orgasm crashing over me before I even opened my eyes, a round of hot as shit shower sex, and another Ben-made breakfast, my boyfriend—I love saying that— sent me on my way, coffee with vanilla creamer in hand. Ben’s psychic coffee abilities have been weirding me out for weeks, but every time I bring it up, he blushes adorably and just says, “I see you, Hal,” before changing the subject.
I feel the strangest mixture of light and loose and wired tight with anxiety. Last night with Ben was one of the best of my life. Revisiting one of our favorite places as kids and then going up the Incline to look out over the city is something I will never forget. For the first time in my life, I have someone who gets me, all the way through. Who sees me and all my quirks and chaos and wants to stick around and be a part of it.
Ben sees the real me. I think he always has, and he lets me see him too. The kind, caring, and compassionate man he is. His strength and confidence and his willingness to be vulnerable with me. To tell me how he feels and listen when I tell him. It’s a gift we can give to each other. Be each other’s safe spaces with wide open hearts. A shelter in all of life’s storms.
Which is why I’m walking into my office this morning prepared to do something that is, at best, about to put me on Julie’s shit list. And at worst? Well, I’m trying not to think about that.
When I walk in the front door, Emma is in the kitchen, standing in front of the coffee maker. She turns when she hears the door close.
“Hey, Hal. How was last night?”
I may not always share every thought with my friends. But this? This I am dying to talk about. I walk into the kitchen and grab a seat at the island. “God, Em. It was amazing. Every last second of it.”
“Hallie Evans, you better not be giving Em a sexy story without me!” Molly comes barreling through the front door in a flowing sundress and wedge sandals. Her usual bags and totes hang over her arms, and she is carrying a donut box.
“As promised, donuts. You can’t tell a sexy story without donuts.” She drops her bags on the floor and goes over to the stairway yelling, “Jules, I know you’re up there! Put the work on hold and get down here! Hallie has a story, and I have donuts!”
Coming into the kitchen, she puts the donuts on the island and gives me a side hug before dropping down onto the stool next to me.
“Hallie, you look positively glowy, girl. I don’t have to ask how the sex was last night. I can see it all over your face.”
“And twice this morning,” I mumble into my coffee, trying to smother the smile that wants to break free.
“Babe, I wish I could say I wasn’t jealous, but Jesus Christ. I fucking am. Twice this morning? It’s not even nine. That is some impressive stamina.”
I look up, and my smile breaks free. “God, you have no idea, Mol. Everything about last night was…I don’t even have words. It was perfect. He is perfect. I didn’t know it could be like this. I just…I really didn’t.”
Emma comes over and sits down on the other side of me, covering her hand with mine. Molly just stares at me for a second before suddenly getting up and walking up the stairs to the second floor. Thirty seconds later she comes back, dragging Julie behind her.
“I was almost done, Molly. What is so important it couldn’t wait five more minutes?”
Molly points at me. “Hallie is in love with Ben.”
My jaw drops. Julie’s head swivels around to look at me. Emma puts her face in her hands and mutters, “Molly, locate your tact.”
Molly just shrugs. “You are though, right? I mean, your face when you talked about him just now. I have never seen you look like that.”
I could deny it, and maybe I should since I haven’t said the words to Ben. But I don’t have it in me to lie. Not about this.
“I am. I love him. So damn much. And maybe you all think I’m crazy since it’s only been a few weeks since we got together like this. But it doesn’t feel fast, and it doesn’t feel crazy. It just feels… right. It feels like maybe Ben and I have been headed in this direction our whole lives.”
“There’s no such thing as too fast, Hallie.” Emma covers my hand with hers again. “There’s no timeline for feelings. They come when they come.”
“Em’s right.” Molly sits back down in her seat and puts her arm around me. “Ben is the best. You’ve known him your whole life. It’s not surprising that once this happened it would be quick.”
I look at Julie, who has been studying me quietly. She walks up behind me, putting her arms around me in a tight hug. “No one deserves love more than you do, Hal,” she whispers. “I’m happy for you. And Ben. Both of you.”
“Okay, but I haven’t even told him yet. So maybe we could all keep a lid on it until I do that?”
“Lips are sealed.” Molly mimes zipping up her lips and throwing away the key. Even though she would seem like the most likely candidate to spill, Molly is a vault.
“Okay, so now that we’re done with the feelings of it all, can we get to the sexy portion of the morning? I need more information about that impressive stamina.”
Emma giggles and Julie just rolls her eyes. As much as I want to pretend like discussing my impressive and extremely satisfying sex life is all that’s on the agenda today, if I don’t get to the thing that I really came here to talk about, the anxiety might just eat me up from the inside out.
“Actually, before we get to that, I have something else to talk to you guys about. Jules, can you sit?”
She tosses me a quizzical look, and I don’t blame her. The words “I want to talk” rarely come out of my mouth, but she grabs a stool on the other side of the island and sits.
I take a deep breath and let it out slowly, steeling myself for whatever is about to happen.
“Okay. So. You all know how much I have loved the adoption work I’ve done with Charlie Callahan since the clinic.” Everyone nods, and I see suspicion in Julie’s eyes but ignore it and press on. “Well, yesterday, when I was at Callahan, Charlie told me that he is retiring at the end of the year. He has someone to take over his matrimonial practice, but since I have been working with him on and off for so many years, he asked me if I would take over his adoption practice. I would do the work under our firm name, so I would still be here. But my practice would be different.”
Julie sucks in a sharp breath. “You told him no, right?”
I shouldn’t be surprised that her first instinct is confrontation, but I am.
“I didn’t. I told him I had to talk to you.” In the past, that’s where I would stop, but not this time. “But I want to tell him yes. I love adoption. I know it’s a big bomb to drop on you, but this feels like an opportunity I can’t pass up. Honestly, I’ve been thinking about this for a long time. Longer than just since my meeting with Charlie. I’m not happy in estate planning. I don’t love it anymore. Maybe I never did. I love adoption. It fulfills me in a way that estate planning never has.” I have more to say, but Julie interrupts me.
“A long time?” Julie explodes. “How long? You didn’t think about saying something a little sooner? Like maybe before we started planning? Before the client files started coming over? Before we put your name on the fucking letterhead? You can’t do this, Hallie. You have clients who are following you here. They are counting on you. I’m counting on you. If you take over Charlie’s practice, what am I supposed to do? Em and Molly each have their own thing, but you and I practice together. If you leave, I’ll have to take on your clients, and I don’t have the capacity for that. You may think I live and breathe work, but I’m not an automaton with no life, Hallie. You can’t just pile more work on me and expect me to take it gladly.”
“Hang on,” says Emma. “There’s no need to dismiss it out of hand, Jules. I think we can make it work.”
Molly reaches over and squeezes my hand. “If this is important to Hallie, we need to talk about it. This firm is about us enjoying our careers and not paying homage to the big law gods.”
As they go back and forth, I start to lose my nerve, and my instinct to agree and give in takes over. But then I hear Ben’s voice in my head telling me that I can do this.
“First of all, I’m not leaving. I will still be right here. I’ll just be doing something different. Charlie knows us. He knows this is going to give you a bigger burden since you would have the main responsibility for my clients. So as part of the takeover, he is going to pay an associate salary to us for a year. We can hire someone to relieve the extra burden on you. This way, I can concentrate on my new practice and also help you with my estate planning clients until we figure out the distribution of work. I have done a lot of thinking over which client files I’m going to have coming in from my old firm and the amount of work that they will generate and…”
“No.” Julie’s voice is low and mean, and it stops me cold. “No fucking way. This is not fucking happening, Hallie. I’m glad for you that you have your little adoption law hobby and that it makes you happy, but that’s all it is.”
“Fucking hell, Julie.” Molly shoots her a dirty look.
“Julie, we need to talk this out.” Emma speaks quietly, but her words are no less forceful than Julie’s.
“No. She is not going to come in here and change our entire firm less than five months before we open for this. We had plans. We all have plans.” She waves her arms around to Molly and Emma. “Those plans do not include upending our whole practice when we still have so much to do to get it established.”
The “little hobby” comment hits me straight in the gut.
Julie is a lot of things—focused, intense, and wholly committed to everything she does—but she has never been intentionally cruel. It takes every ounce of courage I have to start talking again. When I do, my words are quiet.
“I want this, Jules. It’s the right career move for me. I have turned down two job offers from Charlie over the last four years because it wasn’t the right time. But I can’t turn this one down. I won’t. If I do, I’ll regret it forever. This is the right time, and I will do everything in my power to make this work for everyone. You most of all.”
Julie just stares at me, gaze cold. “We can’t make it work, Hallie. I won’t. How selfish can you be? It’s enough that you’re leaving me for Ben. You are not leaving me at work too. It’s. Not. Happening. If you do this, we’re done. Fucking done, Hallie.” With that, she storms out of the kitchen, leaving me stunned and staring at the counter.
Molly breaks the silence first. “Julie’s being a shit, Hallie. She doesn’t own this firm, and she certainly doesn’t get to tell you what to do with your career. If you want to do this, we’ll find a way to make it work. And we all know you’re not leaving anyone for Ben. That’s just bullshit.”
“She’s right, Hallie. Life’s too damn short for you not to explore this opportunity. Or whatever is happening between you and Ben.”
I stay silent and still, the urge to crawl out of my skin coursing through me. I should have just turned Charlie down. Suddenly, I can’t sit here anymore. I push up from the stool so quickly that it falls over and clatters onto the floor.
“I’m sorry,” I mumble. “I can’t be here right now. I just…can’t. I’m going to work at home. I’m just… I’ll call you later.” I leave the kitchen and grab my bag where I left it by the front door before running out and into my car, grateful I brought it today instead of walking.
Holding back the tears threatening to rise in my throat, I drive the half mile home, Julie’s harsh words echoing in my mind the whole way. I let myself in my front door, tossing my bag onto the floor and heading straight to the living room. It’s not until I’m curled up, wrapped in my favorite blanket, that I let the tears finally come.