Chapter 17
Nate
“Archie, what did she say?” I rush out.
I am going to lose my shit with him if he doesn’t answer me.
He shrugs. “She asked if you were okay and…I said you were great and then…I may have ended the call.” He rushes the last part out.
I blink.
Stunned.
This guy is an idiot.
Putting my hands on my hips, I mimic the dad pose. “Did you ask her how she was?”
He shakes his head.
“Asked what she’s been up to?”
Again, he shakes his head.
I throw my hands in the air. “So, you learned absolutely nothing but told her I was great?”
He nods.
Pinching the bridge of my nose, I grit out. “Okay, well, back to work. We don’t have all day. Is she still coming back next week?”
“Yeah, but she isn’t–”
“Staying. I know.” I snatch my tools from the floor and head up to the bathroom.
For the past four weeks, I’ve thrown myself into work, more specifically Hayleigh’s home. I knew the family she bought it from, and with a bit of persuasion and my puppy-dog eyes, I managed to convince them to let me have the keys so I could come and go without Hayleigh knowing.
She wanted to do the place up her own way and decorate it, but some things needed to be fixed first. While she’s away, I’m fixing what I can so that when she does come back, she doesn’t have as much to do.
Whenever she gets back.
Fuck, I miss her.
There’s a funny feeling behind my eyes, so I bite the inside of my cheek until it goes away. That happens a lot lately when I think about Hayleigh and her not being here and being stuck with her parents.
She hasn’t spoken to me since the night she left. How did one night go from such a high to leaving me feeling like I’ve lost a piece of myself? Not that she ever was mine, maybe this is all one-sided, and I was a fling?
Fuck.
My stupid fucking eyes.
Rubbing a hand across my aching heart, I let out a choked sob and throw my saw across the room before burying my head in my hands and sliding down the wall until I thud to the floor.
This is so fucking unfair. How could I fall for someone so hard when I don’t even know if she likes me, let alone loves me?
“Nate?” Archie calls out. I don’t shout back.
Footsteps bound up the stairs, and the next thing I know, Archie’s running into the room like his backsides on fire.
“Nate? What’s wrong?”
Scrubbing my hands down my face, I shrug. “I miss her. I was sure we were getting somewhere, Arch, but she hasn’t…no messages.” The last part comes out as a whisper.
Archie slides down next to me, throwing his arm around me, he says, “That girl loves you, she just doesn’t realise it yet. She’s still grieving, and until she’s done with that, I don’t think she will. I think she’s scared, and that’s what stopped her from messaging you.”
I nod. “Yeah, you’re probably right.”
He squeezes his arm that’s around my shoulder. “It’s okay to be upset about it, you’re only human. It’s okay for men to cry, too, you know.”
My chuckle is garbled from crying. “I know, you do often enough at those movies you watch.”
Archie sighs. “There’s something about a Hallmark movie that gets to me.”
**********
Today’s the day that Hayleigh finally comes back to Roselake. Cole organised for everyone to meet him and Lacey at the house he built for them as a surprise for Lacey, and it’s the first time I’ve seen Hayleigh since she left. My heart is in my throat, and my hands feel clammy.
Jeez, is it hot in here?
“Will you stop fidgeting?” Ethan nudges my arm as he side eyes me.
I throw him a dirty look. “Will you ever stop being grumpy?”
“He can’t, he has a permanent stick up his-Ouch!” Rafe rubs his ear after Ethan yanks at it.
I’m on edge because she’s standing not two feet away from me and isn’t even looking my way. I know she’s trying her hardest to seem happy and normal, but there’s pain behind her eyes; it’s the only reason I’m not storming over to her and demanding answers.
Cole shows Lacey around their home, her eyes lighting up at everything she sees, and I want to see that same look on Hayleigh’s face. So when everyone else is busy talking, I grab her arm, steering her away from everyone.
She doesn’t speak or shout. Instead, she follows me out.
When we’re far away from everyone else, I crouch down. “Are you okay?”
She nods but doesn’t meet my eyes.
“How’s it been at the guest house with Morgana?” That earns me a small smile.
She shrugs.
“Either I’ve lost my ability to hear, or you’ve lost your ability to talk. Come on, Shortcake, tell me what it is that I’ve done wrong?”
She shakes her head, eyes shining. “You didn’t do anything wrong. We shouldn’t do this now. Let’s go back inside.” She turns to leave, but my hand, still on her arm, stops her.
“Hayleigh, you left after a fantastic night together and ghosted me for weeks. I had to hear from Archie on how you were doing.” I want to be understanding, but I can’t deny the hurt that put me through.
She throws her arms up. “What do you want me to say, Nate? That I’m sorry? Because I am! I shouldn’t have ghosted you, but I thought that…that you would think I was weak for going back to my parents, and I couldn’t stand to disappoint you.” Her shoulders drop.
I quickly take a glance through the door. Emmy is watching us, so I step toward Hayleigh and walk her backwards out of sight.
She squeaks. “Nate! What are you doing?” Her back hits the garden wall.
We’re surrounded by tall conifer trees, the smell of freshly cut grass floats through the air, and the sounds of neighbours in their gardens are all around us. But here, tucked away, it feels like our own little bubble, hidden away and completely out of view of the prying eyes.
I lift my hand to Hayleigh’s face and trace the sliver of sunlight that shines across her cheek as I whisper, “I missed you.” I lean closer to her, breathing in her perfume and wishing I could stay in this moment.
Her eyes fall closed. “I missed you too, but–”
“Shh. It doesn’t matter. Don’t think. Kiss me.”
Her eyes fly open, and I think she’s going to tell me no, and if she does, that’s going to be okay, but she doesn’t. Instead, her hands grab the front of my t-shirt as she drags my face down to hers, and our lips smash together.
Our tongues tangle as we explore each other, and Hayleigh’s grip tightens. I move my hands underneath her thighs and lift. Her legs wrap around my waist as she grinds on me. I kiss her cheek, her neck, before moving onto the other side.
Hayleigh moans. “Nate…”
“Do you have to go back?” My words are muffled as I kiss and nibble on her neck.
She huffs out a laugh. “Yes, I have to go back, but…Nate, I don’t want to ghost you this time.”
I pull back to look at her. “Then don’t.”
We freeze as the patio doors open. “Hayleigh? Nate?” Emmy shouts.
Hayleigh slaps her hand over my mouth, her eyes widening. She shakes her head, putting her finger to her lips, signalling for me to be quiet. Emmy must go back inside because we hear the doors close.
She removes her hand from my mouth. “Sorry…I’m not ashamed of you, Nate. It’s just…”
“Stop. It’s okay. Tonight, at your barn, we can talk there, okay?”
She nods, and I let her down gently before she walks away.
This is the long haul; this isn’t a quick fix, but I’m okay with that. I can take my time.
**********
I cut the lights on my car as I park outside the barn. A soft flow emanates from inside, signalling Hayleigh’s already in there. My heart races as I grip the steering wheel. What if she agreed to meet to tell me that whatever this is between us is over?
Come on, Nate.
I get out of my car, legs feeling like jelly as I walk to the barn and push open the door. Hayleigh sits at the back of the barn on the old, worn couch, legs tucked underneath her and a book in her hands. I take my phone and snap a quick photo of her looking peaceful.
“Hi.” My voice booms through the silent barn, and I grimace as Hayleigh jumps.
She places her hand on her heart. “Fucking hell, Nate. You scared the shit out of me.”
“Hope not.” I raise my brow at her.
She wrinkles her nose. “That’s disgusting.”
Ice officially broken.
Breathing a sigh of relief, I walk over to the couch and plop myself down as an awkward silence suddenly surrounds us. There’s so much I want to say to her, but I don’t know where to start.
“Wow, this is awkward.” Hayleigh blows out a breath and chuckles.
“I’m so–”
“I’m sorr–”
We both speak at the same time. I wave my hand for her to continue.
“I’m sorry, Nate. Leaving like that and not speaking to you or even messaging was cruel, and I shouldn’t have done that.”
I nod. “You said earlier that you didn’t want to disappoint me. What did you mean by that? Have I ever given you the impression that you have?”
She picks at the fabric of her leggings, not meeting my eyes as she shrugs.
“You’ve never made me feel that way, but all my life I’ve been told how much of a disappointment I am or that I’m not enough, and I couldn’t bear that from you…
even if you didn’t make me feel that way.
” She throws her hands in the air. “I don’t even make sense. ”
I shrug. “I mean, it kind of does make sense. You were protecting yourself in case it happened.”
“Can you not be so nice about it?”
My brow creases. “Why?”
“I don’t deserve you, Nate.” She covers her face with her hands.
I turn in my seat and grab hold of her wrists, prying her hands from her face. “I spoke to Archie, and he said that you’re grieving and to give you time. So that’s what I’ll do, but that doesn’t mean to say that I’m not here, because I am, and Hayleigh, I’m not going anywhere.”
She snorts. “I’m not grieving; no one died.”
“No, but the life you planned since you were young did, and now you have to make a new one, only this time you’re not alone.”
She cups the side of my face. “I’m glad I have you, Nate.”
I smile. “When do you head back?”
She groans. “Tomorrow morning. Thea has a dress fitting but…”
“But?”
“She confessed to me that she doesn’t want to go through with the wedding, but she’s scared of how my parents will react. I told her to come back to Roselake with me, but she isn’t convinced yet.” She looks away. “It’s why I’m still staying there; I’m trying to get her to change her mind.”
“So, you don’t know how long you’ll be gone for?” I try to keep my voice as light as possible, even though it hurts that I won’t see her all the time.
“Well, I’m hoping I can convince her within the next month and a half; otherwise, she will end up going through with the wedding.”
I think about the house and the work we’ve all been doing on it, and I wonder if she’ll be mad at me for what I’ve done.
“Have you been back to your new home?”
She shakes her head. “I haven’t had the chance, and please don’t remind me, there’s so much to do already.”
“Would you be mad if I told you that I had spare keys and was able to get in there to fix up what needed fixing?”
Her mouth drops open. “Did you?”
“That depends. Are you mad or happy?”
“If you have, then I’ll kiss you right now.”
I grab my phone and scroll to the gallery before showing her. I watch with bated breath as she scrolls through each of the pictures, and at each pass, her smile grows wider.
“Nate, this is beautiful. You didn’t decorate.” It isn’t a question.
I shake my head. “No, I didn’t. I remembered you said you wanted to do all the decorating yourself and make it your own. I only fixed what we agreed needed fixing.”
“You seem to be fixing way more than I bargained for, Nate Peterson.”
My heart flutters as she says that. So I open my arms and tilt my head, Hayleigh climbs into my lap, and I wrap my arms around her. Whatever happens, this right here is what I want.
Hayleigh, with me.
I just have to show her she’s worth it.