Chapter 18
Hayleigh
It honestly feels like I’m living two separate lives, before Roselake and after. Right now? Well, now I’m back in my parents' home, wondering why the hell I didn’t stay with Nate and my friends.
My phone dings with a message, breaking my pity party for one. I open it up, and my mood instantly lifts.
Emmy
We miss you, and you’ve only been gone for a day… how are we going to cope?
Lacey
I second this. Can you come back already?
I’m smiling like a loon; the feeling of being loved is overwhelming sometimes.
Me
I miss you all too
Then a thought hits me, all my friends and my sister, together, having fun.
Me
Why don’t you all come up here for a trip out? We could have a nice spa day and a meal…you could all meet my sister *smiley face emoji*
I wait with bated breath. What if they say thanks but no thanks? What if bringing my two worlds together makes them collide? Jeez, stop catastrophising, Hayleigh.
Emmy
Hell yes! Spa day! *party hat emoji*
Lacey
As long as there’s food, I’m in! Can’t wait to see you. Shall we say next weekend?
Me
It’s a date. I’ll book us in at the spa and find us a place for food
Emmy
We love you, Hayls. It doesn’t matter how far away you are, your home is here, with us.
I tap a heart on the message, then click out of it, gently swiping at my eyes, a smile on my face because of it.
My friends are my world and my rock, Nate included.
For so long, I was the friend who smiled and held firm.
I stayed and cheered as they moved on with their happiness, even though inside I was screaming for someone to notice that I wasn’t okay.
But it wasn’t enough to want someone to notice, I had to open up and tell someone that I wasn’t okay. Yet I don’t think I would have done that if it weren’t for Nate giving me the nudge I needed.
I climb off my bed and kneel down, reaching under the bed until my hand snags on my bag. Inside, I find the scrapbook Nate gifted me and nestled between the pages is the list we made.
Hayleigh’s List
· Dance at the movies
· Kissing in the rain
· Do something out of my comfort zone
· Go on a Ferris Wheel
· Buy my own place and decorate!
· Eat cake in bed
· Get over my fear of clowns
· Learn something new
· Attend a cookery class
· Safari
· Tell Morgana no!!
Inspiration hits when I read through it. A cookery class will be perfect for when the girls come to visit, and after a quick look online, I find a restaurant right here in town that offers private classes. Not wanting to miss out on spaces, I quickly complete the booking.
Quickening footsteps echo up the stairs, so I throw the scrapbook under my pillow, hiding it the best way I can because there is no way I want my mother finding it, because the last thing I loved as a child was my bunny rabbit toy, Miss Hop.
My mother took great pleasure in reminding me of how in control of everything she was by getting rid of the one thing I loved when something didn’t go her way.
Morgana strides into the room, and as usual, her nose is in the air. “You’re back then.”
I stay quiet, not giving her the energy she wants.
“Right, well, there’s plenty to do for the wedding. You’re expected to attend a family dinner this evening to go over plans. I’ve already informed the caterer of the additional place.” She makes it clear through her tone that there’s no room for arguments.
I paste a smile on my face. “Of course, mother.” See, I can play nice.
She surveys the room, her eyes narrowing as she does. “I believe you’re no longer living in your home. Why?”
The question sets alarm bells ringing. “How do you know I’m not living in that house anymore?” My heartbeat notches up from a slow pace to a gallop. This isn’t something she should know.
She folds her arms and purses her lips. “I’m still in contact with Peter’s mother; she mentioned she had dropped by, but the place looked …unkempt and empty.”
Blood simmers beneath my skin as goosebumps break out across it. “I haven’t lived there since he was arrested. That isn’t my home.” My words are short and clipped.
A cruel smirk lifts one side of her mouth.
There she is.
“We paid for you to move into that home, Hayleigh. It’s an investment.”
I shrug, opting for nonchalance. “Then you discuss selling it with his mother because I’m not interested. I’ll be at the family dinner tonight.” I look down and focus on the phone in my hand, hoping she gets the message.
Her clipped heels walk away, and when I can’t hear them anymore, I let out my breath in one long stream. My heart beats too fast in my chest, and tears fill my eyes. I don’t want to be here anymore, but leaving Thea here with them hurts too much to think about. I can’t let her down again.
“Knock, knock.” My head snaps up, but my shoulders relax when I realise it’s Thea.
A genuine smile blooms on my face. This is the first time I’ve seen her since getting back late last night. “Did you miss me?” I say as I blow her a kiss.
She looks behind her, then quickly steps inside and closes the door before spinning round. Her back hits the door, her hands quickly covering her face, and she mumbles. “I tried to call it off. I tried to call the whole thing off.” Her quiet sobs fill the room.
I dart off the bed and wrap my arms around her. “Hey, come on. Why are you crying? What happened?” I guide her to the bed, and we both sit down.
She dries her eyes on my blanket, taking a moment to compose herself, before sitting up straight and shaking her hands out. “Sorry, that was completely irrational.”
Thea always struggled to show her emotions when she was younger; put-up-and-shut-up was more her thing. I place my hand on her knee, patting it. “Showing your feelings isn’t irrational. What happened?”
She takes a deep breath. “I told Rupert that I didn’t want to go through with the wedding.
We haven’t even dated Hayleigh. He went straight to his parents, who then rang Mother, and all hell broke loose.
Father still isn’t talking to me. It’s making it awkward at work.
” Her shoulders drop. “It’s difficult, Hayleigh, being here and working with them every day. They’re family…”
I don’t want to push her any further. If there’s anyone who understands the need to protect themselves, it’s me. Instead, I smile. “Don’t worry about that now. Why don’t we go out today?”
She shakes her head. “I can’t. I have work to do at the office.” She stands and walks to the door, one hand on the handle. She doesn’t turn around as she says. “I do want to, though, come with you, I mean. I just…can’t.” She turns the handle and walks out of the room as sadness sweeps through me.
I need to help her.
My phone dings again, I unlock it, and my heart skips a beat as Nate’s name flashes on the screen. I promised him I wouldn’t run and hide away this time, and I meant it. Cutting Nate off last time was a stupid thing to do and proved only to hurt both of us.
Nate
Archie was crying again last night. He watched The Green Mile and now insists that we adopt a field mouse…
I snigger at the idea of Archie keeping a pet mouse.
Me
Tell Arch I approve of the idea
Me
Is that all you wanted to tell me?
Am I fishing for a compliment or for him to tell me he misses me? Yes, I am, and I’m not ashamed to admit it.
Three dots appear on the screen.
Nate
No, that isn’t all. I actually wrote a really long message telling you how much I missed you and wanted you back here with me, but then I deleted it because I didn’t want you to think that I was guilt-tripping you
Nate
Did it work? Will you come back now? *praying emoji*
I giggle once more; the feeling inside of me is light and happy. As if my heart is inflating. I don’t feel guilt-tripped at all.
Me
I don’t think I’ll be here much longer. Thea came to see me and told me she actually told our mother she didn’t want to go ahead with the wedding.
Nate
With you there by her side, she can do anything. She’s lucky to have you as a big sister.
Me
I miss you, Nate. I hope you know that
Nate
I do, but I also hope that you know how much you’re missed here too
I react to his message with a heart, lock my phone, and, for the first time in a while, I feel like myself again. The old me. The one before Pete and before I let my parents get into my head.
Today I’m going to do something for myself, so I'd best get ready.
**********
I’ve been wandering around town for the best part of two hours, my feet ache, my back aches, and I’m starving. Thankfully, there’s a nice little café that seems quiet, so I quicken my steps and duck inside, right as the heavens open.
I find a seat in the corner next to the window and dump my bags before I head to the counter, where a pretty girl stands texting on her phone. She looks up at me when I clear my throat, her expression bored.
“Yeah?” She has a bit of an attitude. No wonder this place is empty.
I smile anyway. “Could I have a large vanilla latte, please, with one of those cinnamon buns?”
She rolls her eyes and huffs out a breath. “Yeah, I guess so.” She gets busy making my coffee and places a cinnamon bun on a plate before sliding it over to me.
I hand over my money, she gives me the change, and then she gives me my coffee. I look at the change in my hand and place it in the empty coffee cup on the counter with the word ‘tips’ scribbled on a sign in front of it. She looks at the change, then back up at me; her lip trembles.
I tentatively ask. “Want to talk about it?”
She shakes her head. “Not really…but thank you.” I nod my head once and smile at her, and as I walk back to my seat, she says. “I appreciate it.”
My fingers pick at the cinnamon bun mindlessly, while the world passes by outside in the pouring rain.
Children are splashing in the puddles while their parents try to hurry them along, people are rushing about, not wanting to get drenched, and then you have the odd person who doesn’t mind the rain.
Like the man walking towards the café with purpose.
The man who looks familiar.
He stops at the window where I’m sitting and throws back the hood of his jacket, smiling like an idiot.
My idiot.
Nate.
I’m out of my seat and outside in no time, laughing in the pouring rain as drops bounce off my body.
“Nate, what are you doing here?” I’m laughing, but I’m so close to crying. Not through sadness but sheer happiness that he’s here.
He shrugs. “We haven’t ticked anything off your list in a while.”
My brow furrows. “What do you mean?”
He steps towards me as he slowly raises his hands, one on either side of my face, his thumbs rubbing circles on my cheeks. His eyes drop down to my lips before flicking back up to my eyes.
He moves his face closer to mine, agonisingly slow, his breath is hot across my skin. “I mean this, Shortcake.”
His lips meet mine in a slow, sensual dance.
His tongue parting my lips before darting into my mouth, my own tongue gliding around his.
The kiss isn’t fast; it’s beautiful and firm.
One of us moans, but I’m not sure which one.
The rain pelts down, bouncing over and around us.
But we don’t break apart; it creates a barrier as we lose ourselves in each other.
A car horn beeps obnoxiously, and I can’t help the giggle that escapes. We break apart, resting our foreheads on one another and breathing each other in. I break the silence first.
“Thank you.”
Nate places his finger under my chin. “I missed you too much to stay away.”
I smile. “Shall we go inside? Not that this isn’t incredibly romantic, it is, but I’ve realised how wet through I actually am.”
Nate waggles his eyebrows. “That’s what all the ladies say.”
Rolling my eyes, I give him a quick slap to the chest. “Pig. Come on, let’s get a coffee.”
The young girl behind the counter perks up ever so slightly when a drenched Nate walks through the door, but when he takes the bobble out of his hair and shakes out his long locks. Her eyes practically burst out of her skull.
You and me both, girl.
He grabs us two coffees and two slices of cake and carries them over to our table on a tray. He smiles as he folds himself into the chair across from me.
I take a sip before asking him. “So, did you stalk the weather report to just come all the way over here to help me tick off an item on my list?”
He nods. “Absolutely. That’s the only reason I’m here. After this, I’m going home.” His face is as serious as hell, but his eyes twinkle, then he bursts out laughing.
Then something occurs to me. “Hang on, how the hell did you know where I was?”
His cheeks turn red, shifting in his seat. “Well, erm…Archie.”
Of course.
I grab my phone, and sure enough, when I search it, Life360 pops up. “I am going to kill that little shit.”
I open up a message and type.
Me
Life360…really?
I don’t have to wait because three dots appear almost at once.
Smuttybookfriend
He told you? Tell him stitches get snitches!
I burst out laughing.
Me
Don’t you mean snitches get stitches?
Smuttybookfriend
That too!
I turn the phone around for Nate to read, and he smiles. “He means well.”
I nod. “I know he does.” Taking my phone back, my stomach drops at the time. “I have to go back soon, Nate. My mother has arranged a family meal tonight and demanded that I go.”
He takes hold of my hand on the table. “You staying here isn’t forever. Remember that.”
An idea takes hold. “Do you want to help me get rid of another thing on my list?”
He lifts my hand and places a kiss on the back of it. “For you? Anything.”