Chapter 13. Harriet – A rose by any other name
Blake and I didn’t discuss the whole Rose thing.
The first day he was living here, he tried to clarify that I knew everything and there was nothing more to learn, but I didn’t want to hear it.
I meant it when I told him I was totally focused on the baby.
This whole Rose saga could wait. This time was for me and my baby.
I shut him down and thankfully he shut his mouth.
We weren’t exactly living in silence, but when we did speak, it was about the baby or the house. I was so excited! I was stocking the change table when my phone lit up.
Rose F: Hey Haz, I can’t get onto Bear. Dad is refusing to eat and I don’t know what to do.
The nerve of this bitch. Sean had me convinced that she was cray cray, so I played nice. Well, as nice as I could.
Me: I’m not a nurse. I don’t know either. Take him to the doctor. Jacqui’s home if you need help.
Rose F: Can you please let Bear know?
Me: No.
I called out to Blake and filled him in on the Rose drama. He ran his hand through his hair. “Fucking hell. I knew this would happen if I blocked her. I’m so sorry Haz.”
“Unblock her if you’re so concerned. You’ve probably missed your nipple quota this month anyway,” I spat cattily. This was the problem. Rose would always come up. I could picture myself in a rocking chair in my 80s, enjoying an open fire with Blake and asking him to make a cup of tea.
“Sure, Haz. Just give me a sec,” he’d say.
“Why? Do you have a text from Rose?” I’d snipe back.
It never goes away. I know me; I know me very well. I am forgiving but I struggle to forget. My experiences with Dad taught me very young to cut off toxicity for your own mental health. I’d be a senior citizen and still hate Blake for what he’d done.
“I’m not going to unblock her. Even if Colin is dead, there’s nothing I can do,” he replied patiently. “I’m just worried she’s upsetting and you and sorry that I’m the cause.”
“She upsets me by existing, Blake. And so do you.”
He stayed in the room for a minute, looking around at the soft green walls I’d chosen.
“Looks great in here, Haz. You’ve done a brilliant job.”
“Thanks.”
Time ticked on. He’d been gone from the room for about five seconds when I heard a knock at the door. I waddled out to the living room to see Blake’s back at the door and Rose in the entryway.
“Oh Bear, I’m so worried. Dad won’t eat,” she gasped out, placing a hand dramatically over her forehead.
“Not my problem, Rose. Call 911.” He shut the door, but clearly audacity was in plentiful supply for Rose. We heard her voice through the door.
“Bear, don’t cut me out! I know we have to wait to be together but I need you now!”
Yeah, this bitch was crazy.
I looked at Blake and shrugged. She wasn’t my problem.
He opened the door again.
“Rose, I’ve been very nice about this. I accept this is my fault but I’m telling you now, with no niceties, there is no ‘we.’ Get off my doorstep and don’t ever come here or text either of us ever again.
I don’t like you. I have no feelings for you other than annoyance.
I’m sorry if I gave the impression we were more than friends.
I’m sorry we were ever friends. I’m sorry I ever met you. ”
Rose’s face hardened. Uh oh. Never piss of a psycho.
“Don’t say things you’ll regret Bear.”
“I won’t regret this. I only regret being nice to you. Get the fuck off my property.”
She burst into tears and fled across the road. I note she didn’t go to Jacqui’s. Obviously Colin’s appetite wasn’t the pressing issue she made it out to be.
Blake turned guiltily to face me.
“I’m sorry you had to hear that,” he said softly.
I snorted.
“Whatever.” I went back to the change table.
This was exactly why I couldn’t stay with Blake.
My memory was too long, his actions too painful.
He’d ruined the lead up to the birth of our baby.
He’d ruined my sense of security and happiness.
The thought weighed heavily on me as I considered my future. Our future.