Chapter 12. Blake - Delusions
I’d done a lot of reading since Haz kicked me out on cheating, emotional and physical, and been forced to admit that I’d done both.
Even though I didn’t initiate or continue the kiss, it was my fault that Rose had kissed me.
I compared my treatment of Jacqui with my treatment of Rose and felt really uncomfortable.
Rose was always so thankful, praising me and gushing about her gratitude.
Jacqui was grateful and would send me off with a plate of baked goods, but she didn’t treat me like I’d slayed a dragon for her.
I think my pride was flattered, and that was pathetic.
Mick walked in, dropping his tool belt on the floor next to the door.
“How is she?” I asked. My contact with Haz was still minimal, but that would change in a week.
“Not great, man,” Mick sighed. “She was in tears tonight. Your crazy girlfriend put a business card for a divorce lawyer in the letterbox. What the fuck were you thinking?” Great. I was going to get angry Mick tonight.
“Why didn’t she tell me? Why did she come to you about that?” I was getting angry too.
“She didn’t come to me . She burst into tears when I walked in the door, so we talked a lot to help calm her down. This is your mess, Blake. Don’t make me the bad guy for helping clean it up.”
I felt like I’d been stabbed. Haz was upset and she’d turned to Mick. Is this what Haz felt like when she found those messages? It was a gut punch to realize that your wife had gone to someone else for something so emotional. That should have been me. I should never have turned to Rose.
“I should break my non-contact with Rose,” I said. “She can’t be upsetting Haz like this. I need to warn her off very clearly. I’m pretty sure she’s a sandwich short of a picnic.”
“Ya think?” Mick snorted.
“Don’t bother. It’s sorted. I knocked on Glenn Close’s door and told her to fuck off and stay away from Haz. Sorry though, I didn’t coddle Rose’s feelings like you would have.”
That made me angry. “Of course I would take Haz’s side over Rose. The bitch is crazy, and Haz is my wife.”
“Had some self-realizations, have you? You didn’t take her side before when Colin was upsetting her.”
Wow. Mick had obviously spoken to Haz about everything that had happened.
I was pleased she had support but why couldn’t she have gone to Belle or Sean?
Maybe it was good she wasn’t opening her heart to Sean.
He wanted to kill me already. Since the very hostile phone call, the only contact I’d had with Sean was one text.
He’d sent me two photos. No words. Just images of Robert DeNiro doing the “I’m watching you,” hand gestures.
Fucking Rose. Why had I ever thought she was nice?
She was all kinds of creepy. I sometimes saw her on my drive-bys, sometimes in the yard, sometimes as a silhouette in her living room.
I didn’t like that she was watching Haz, but I was worried that confronting her might make her think that we were renewing contact.
As annoyed as I was that Mick was playing savior to my wife , I was glad Rose knew we had eyes on her.
Divorce lawyers? This chick was knee deep in delusion.
Why couldn’t I have fucked up with a normal woman?
Better yet, why did I fuck up at all? The selfish, nasty part of me was hoping Colin would decline so much he’d have to enter a nursing home.
That wouldn’t guarantee that Rose would leave though; she’d probably stay in his house.
That might be an even worse prospect: Rose with more time on her hands.
We shouldn’t have to move, but I wouldn’t have Haz living in anxiety because I’d been a world-class dick.
And Haz had gone to such efforts to get the house ready for the baby.
No, we couldn’t move. I felt useless living at Mick’s.
It would all be okay. In one week, I’d move home and protect Haz from the world.