37. THE TIMELINE OF MISSING YOU #2
I groan when he turns around and shoves his pants and boxer briefs down his thighs to expose his ass, and I unbutton my jeans and shove everything down too.
I’m taking him here, now, just like this.
I take a long look at him—the way his hands are resting gently on the surface of the wall, his ass pushed out towards me, back arched beautifully just for me.
Pushing his shirt up, I trail my fingers down his spine, all the way to his tailbone, and he moans. I shiver.
Fuck.
Everything about him does it for me.
Tearing the lube packet open with my teeth, I take a deep breath and then soak my cock with it.
Then, I pour the rest of it over my fingers and circle Ken’s tight little hole.
I need to be inside him so badly, but I refuse to hurt him.
So I take my time prepping him. One finger, then two, until he’s slapping the door with desperation.
And then I add a third one for good measure.
Maybe torturing him is a form of revenge, but I know it’s as far as I’m going to take it.
Once I’m inside him, I won’t be able to hold back.
I’m fucking him until we both explode. We need it.
“P-please,” Kenneth pleads through gritted teeth. “I need you. Fuck me already, baby. Please, I’m begging you.”
“How hard do you want it, Ken?”
“Hard,” he replies, breath hitching when I withdraw my fingers. I notch my cock at his entrance. “Just shove it in. Do it already. I can take it. I can—oh, fuck!”
Kenneth cries out as I shove my cock inside him roughly. His hand slaps against the wall three times when I bottom out, and instead of giving him time to adjust, I withdraw to the tip and thrust back in hard.
“Yes!” Ken groans. “Harder. Faster. Deeper.”
I oblige, giving him what he needs. What I need. He’s going to feel this for the next fucking week if I have my way. He’ll never forget who he belongs to. Me. Fucking me. No one else can have him. We’ll never be apart again—never again.
“Right there,” Kenneth gasps, squirming, and I grip his hip harder to keep him from moving. “Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck.”
I angle my hips and make sure to demolish his prostate over and over, and by the sounds he’s making, I know he’s about to come.
But both his hands are still on the wall, fingers curled as I thrust into him almost violently.
Well, I guess there’s no almost about it.
It’s definitely violent. I’m fucking him harder than I ever have before, but he needs to get it through his fucking head that he can’t leave me again.
“Such a pretty pink hole, Ken,” I whisper in his ear, and he shivers and moans louder. “Is it mine?”
“Y-yes,” his voice catches. “All yours, baby. Only yours!”
“Show me then,” I tell him, making my thrusts harder and faster, making sure they’re hitting his prostate dead-on. “Come for me.”
“I don’t—” Ken moans, and I tighten my grip on his hips. “Oh my god, what the fuck is happening to me?”
“You’re going to leave your hands right where they are, Ken,” I demand. “And then you’re going to come all over this fucking wall.”
“I c-can’t—”
I bite his neck, hard, and he screams, his ass clamping down on my cock so hard that it steals the breath right out of my lungs. “What was that, Ken? I can’t fucking hear you.”
Kenneth screams, “Conrad!”
“Yes, baby, yes,” I groan, and he wiggles and slaps at the wall. The force of his orgasm makes my own crash into me, and it feels like it lasts forever. “Ken.”
“I love you,” Kenneth whispers as my forehead falls against his back. “I love you so much, and I’ll never stop.”
“I love you more than anything in my life. You’re it for me, Ken. I can’t let you go, not ever. Please don’t make me.”
“I won’t,” Kenneth reassures me. “It’s you and me, baby.”
I kiss the spot between his shoulder blades and pull away, breathing in deeply, then pull out of him slowly.
He hisses at the loss of me, and I pull his underwear and pants back up, then do the same for myself.
Grabbing his hand, I pull him in the direction of my bathroom, then start filling up the tub with hot water.
It’s large enough to fit us both, and I’ve never been more grateful to have spent so much money on a place.
I let Kenneth go into the bathroom to clean up, and then we get in together.
We’re sitting opposite each other, our legs tangled together and our eyes connected.
“Tell me everything,” he says softly. “Every last detail, Conrad. Don’t leave anything out. I need to know.”
I nod. “Are you sure?”
“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life,” he replies. “I have to know.”
I proceed to tell him everything—starting with my faceless dreams of him, how I realized it was him when I first saw him because of his infinity tattoo on his hand.
I tell him almost every detail of our previous life together, including the end.
The only thing I leave out is the death of his mom.
He doesn’t need to relive that over and over.
He listens intently, eyes watery, hands clenched on the edge of the tub.
The water is cold now, but we don’t move.
I’m not done, and he seems to sense that.
“I woke up in the hospital and couldn’t figure out how to get a hold of you.
I was going crazy, and my phone was lost in the wreck.
When I brought you up to my parents, they said they had never heard of you before.
Which was insane considering I couldn’t shut up about you—not ever.
But when the doctor came in and explained that it was May instead of December… I thought my world had ended.”
Kenneth is silent, lip trembling, so I continue.
“I found your keychain in the hospital room, and the day I got discharged, I went to your apartment. You weren’t there—”
“Is that why you were walking to the elevator?” he asks with a half smile, and I look down at my hands, a little embarrassed.
Okay, very embarrassed.
“Yes,” I whisper. “I just needed to make sure you were real. That I didn’t dream it all up. And the key worked, Ken. It fucking worked. But when I saw you, and you didn’t recognize me, I thought the pain in my chest was going to take me out. I had to get you back, baby. I couldn’t be without you.”
“But isn’t it weird that we’re not reliving anything?” Ken frowns. “If you started over, reliving things, why has nothing been the same?”
“I made sure it wasn’t.” I sigh, beginning to tremble from the cold.
But I’m not done, so I push through. “I didn’t want to repeat the same mistakes—I want to live, Ken.
I didn’t know any other way to make it happen.
So I made sure I didn’t take you to the same places, or say the same things, or do the same things. I wanted a clean slate.”
Kenneth nods slowly, “I get it. I would’ve done the same thing.”
“D-do you believe me?” I ask softly, afraid of the answer. “I know it’s a lot—”
“None of it sounds very real, Conrad,” he says gently, and I suck in a sharp breath. “But the things I’ve been dreaming about don’t seem real either.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’ve been dreaming of you,” Ken says, eyes desperate. “Seeing you in places I’ve never been with you. I’m s-sorry. I’m really, really sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I’m sorry I walked away. I won’t do it again, I promise.”
I nod, shifting my weight, grabbing him by the hips, and hoisting him onto my lap.
Water sloshes onto the floor, but I couldn’t care less right now.
Especially not when Ken crashes his lips to mine and holds onto me like I’m going to fly away.
He’s gripping me for dear life, and now I know he’s scared. Really scared.
“I forgive you,” I whisper. “Just—please don’t let me drive. I can’t go through this again. Losing you again will kill me.”
“I won’t, baby,” Ken replies, burying his face in the crook of my neck. “I’m sorry that I didn’t believe you. I do now. We’re going to get through this.”
“We will,” I reassure him. “We can do anything—together.”
“I love you.”
“You’re my heart, Ken,” I tell him, and my voice comes out unrecognizable. “I love you too.”
I’m not sure how much longer we stay in the bath, with the freezing cold water, finding solace in each other. But eventually, we get out and dry ourselves, then climb into bed together. And when he wraps his arms around me under the covers, everything feels like it’s going to be okay.
I almost believe it.