27. SARAH
Racing into my apartment, I slam the door behind me and lean against it, pressing my palms against the smooth surface, gasping for air.
I’ve never been this horny in my life.
What is wrong with me?
I know there was a part in one of the baby books that said there could be an increase in your libido, but I didn’t think that meant me.
I kick off my heels and struggle to unzip my dress fast enough, darting toward my room. As the fabric of my dress falls around my legs, brushing against my overly sensitive skin, it sends shivers down every square inch of my body. I don’t bother turning the light on as I throw my phone on my nightstand and, in record time, reach behind me to unclasp my bra, letting it drop to the floor.
Freedom!
Jumping on my bed, I shimmy out of my panties as I squirm and moan against the satin sheets. Reaching beside me, I grab Teddy and toss him inside the nightstand drawer.
This is not something he should see.
The aroma of man surrounds me as I turn my head to the side and inhale the scent from Paul’s pillow. Fuck, he smells so damn delicious.
My whole body feels alive. Every nerve ending is zapping with a lustful need that overwhelms me. It’s too much.
And all I need is Paul.
The man who is fifteen hundred miles away from me currently playing a basketball game as we speak.
The man who called me last night to tell me everything was taken care of. That I was free. No longer shackled with that video being held over my head.
Because Paul took care of me.
Like he’s always done.
I just wish he were here to take care of me now.
But alas, I’m going to have to do it myself.
Closing my eyes, my hand glides across my skin over my breasts and hardened nipples down my stomach until finally reaching its destination. I spread my legs as wide as they’ll go and swipe a finger through my wet center, enjoying the slight pressure my body is craving. Needing. Wanting.
I slide a finger inside me, pretending it’s Paul who is making me feel good as he thrusts in and out, kissing every part of my body.
“Mmm, Paul,” I moan.
He always knows exactly what to do to pull an orgasm out of me over and over again, and he doesn’t stop until he knows I’m completely satisfied. Until I’m spent, collapsing into his arms for support.
My finger doesn’t feel like enough, so I add another one, feeling that familiar stretch as I push in and out, but it’s still not satisfying. I groan in frustration and pound faster inside myself, begging my body to give me the release I need.
Think of Paul’s tongue swiping over you.
Think of Paul’s lips sucking on you.
Think of Paul’s hard cock pumping in and out of you.
It feels like forever passes as a bead of sweat rolls down my forehead and my chest heaves up and down.
Why can’t I make myself come?
I need this. I need the release. I need to be pushed over the edge by an orgasmic avalanche of pleasure.
But it’s not working.
I withdraw my fingers and stare up at the ceiling, breathless.
“Fuck.”
My eyes water as frustration takes over me. I need Paul to take care of me. A single tear slides down my cheek and onto my pillow.
Turning my head to the side, I reach for my phone and scroll until I see Paul’s name.
Sarah
I wish you were here.
As I put my phone back on my nightstand, I hear a quiet ping. Only I know the ping didn’t come from my phone because I always keep my phone on silent.
My heart stops as every muscle in my body freezes, realizing he’s here.
The area between my legs suddenly purrs back to life with a pulsing need, knowing he has a dead-center view of me. And after quickly grasping what he just witnessed, heat rushes over my entire body in embarrassment.
I hesitantly look up to find Paul leaning back with his legs spread out as he sits in the corner of the room with a bouquet of lilies, my favorite flowers, in his hands.
He’s not supposed to be here.
But he is because he’s somehow always here when I need him.
Anticipation fills me as he appears downright ready to dominate me in the best way possible, his darkened eyes scanning over my naked body spread eagle before him. I can’t help but notice the prominent bulge between his legs, straining against his pants, begging to come out and play. My mouth waters as images of me on my knees before him flash through my mind.
Fuck, I want it.
I want him.
“P-Paul?” He doesn’t say anything. He simply licks his lips and moves his eyes to mine, jump-starting that familiar throbbing sensation in my core.
He casually stands, placing the flowers on the dresser, still watching me as he begins to unbutton his shirt, one button at a damn time, revealing his chiseled chest.
“I thought you had a game tonight.” My voice comes out breathless, sultry. I start to close my legs, but he shakes his head with disapproval, so I keep them open, feeling wetness drip down the inside of my thighs.
“I came home early to surprise you,” he says with a deep, husky voice. The shirt stretches over his broad shoulders as he slides it down his arms and off his body. He takes a few steps, bringing him to the edge of the bed beside me, towering over me. His hand reaches out, gently stroking my cheek as his eyes trail down my body in appreciation.
I’ve never felt so exposed in my life.
So wanted.
So loved.
“You definitely surprised me,” I breathe.
A tiny smirk appears on his face until his eyes meet mine, darkening. He bends down, bringing his face before me, his lips ghosting over mine. “Although that was the best show my eyes have ever seen, it seemed like you were having some trouble with things. Want me to take care of you, baby girl?”
Oh God. Yes, I do. I really do.
I shake my head, biting my bottom lip. “Please.”
“Always such a good girl,” he whispers before gently kissing my lips. He stands up straight and walks away, leaving me confused as he walks to the end of the bed.
“What are you—”
Suddenly, he grabs my ankles and pulls me to the end of the mattress, leaving my ass hanging over the edge. Kneeling on the floor, he places my legs over his shoulders, gazing between my legs with a ravenous hunger in his eyes. “I’m going to eat this pretty pussy until you come all over my tongue, screaming my name,” he warns.
“Promises. Promises,” I whisper.
A low chuckle leaves him before he swiftly takes one long, leisurely swipe of my center with his tongue.
“Oh, yes,” I moan.
“Sarah?”
“Mm-hmm?” I grip the sheets in anticipation of what’s to come. Newsflash. It’s me. I’m about to come.
“I’ll always be here for you.” And with that, he buries his head between my legs, devouring me like a starved man.
“Oh my God.” My back arches off the bed as he thrusts two fingers into me, pounding away, giving me exactly what I need. His free hand reaches up, pinching a nipple between his fingers, mimicking what his mouth does to me that drives me over the edge. It doesn’t take long for my legs to shake and the fire in my core to erupt, seeing that I’ve been on edge most of the day. But the second his lips wrap around my clit and suck, I lose it. “Paul!” I scream out for him, my core fiercely clenching as he continues thrusting and sucking, never letting up until he’s pulled every last ounce of an orgasm out of me.
As I collapse onto the bed, he removes his fingers from me, observing me. Leisurely, he sucks his fingers clean, closing his eyes. “So fucking sweet.”
He gently moves my legs from his shoulders and stands, quickly taking his belt, pants, and underwear off, appearing before me as the basketball god that he is.
I crawl back on the bed, resting my head on the pillow, and when I peek up, my eyes immediately notice his thick cock, looking very pleased to see me. Paul starts to prowl on top of me like a hungry lion, ready to ravage me as he kisses his way up my body. The taut muscles over his back and shoulders flex with every lethal move he makes. His hard cock glides against my leg, igniting a thundering pulse between my thighs.
I inhale a shaky breath. “Paul?”
“Mm-hmm?” He continues his trail of kisses, nipping and licking his way up my body.
“I want to ride you.”
He freezes above me, his lips pressed down between my breasts. His eyes look up at me, and a devilish grin appears.
“Whatever my baby girl wants, she gets.”
Before I can comprehend what is happening, Paul flips us over. I land on top of him, gripping his shoulders as he leans back against the headboard.
“Let me see what my girl can do.” His eyes sparkle with lust, watching me as I lift my hips, positioning myself above him.
I feel the head of his cock near my entrance and drop myself down only an inch, enjoying the stretch.
Paul releases a low groan, gripping my hips. I sit like that for a few seconds, teasing his tip as I lift myself just slightly up and down. His fingers dig into my ass as I finally slam down on his thighs.
“Oh God,” I cry, rolling my head back as I remain frozen, adjusting to the overwhelming but completely satisfying fullness he provides me.
Pain meets pleasure.
“Fuck, you feel so good. So fucking perfect,” Paul groans as his head rolls back and his grip tightens.
The room falls silent, like the calm before a powerful storm.
We both look at each other at the exact moment with nothing but unbridled need in our eyes.
This man has ruined me for anyone else.
He’s all I will ever want or need.
And he knows it, too. His eyes soften before me as he cups my cheek in his hand. I close my eyes while he brings our foreheads together, kissing my lips softly.
It’s soft. Sweet. Perfect.
I open my eyes, staring into two pools of chocolate brown with tiny golden flecks. Unspoken words travel between us, whispered in the silence around us—three little words that hold more meaning in the English dictionary than any three words combined.
I love you.
Straightening my back, I clutch Paul’s shoulders for support as I roll my hips sensually and slowly, feeling every inch of him inside me. Paul leans forward, taking one of my breasts in his hand while he begins sucking on my hardened nipple on the other one. He teases, sucks, and licks each nipple back and forth, turning me into a breathless, panting mess.
Eventually, his hands move up to my waist, gliding smoothly over my skin before splaying out over my back, securing me to him as I begin to lift my hips up and down, riding my man. I don’t let up even as my thighs start to shake and my body tenses, readying for an orgasm that I just know will put all others to shame.
“That’s it, baby girl,” Paul whispers. “I want you to come all over my cock like you own it because you do. You own all of me.”
Paul sneaks a hand between us, encircling my clit with just the right amount of pressure to send me over the edge, free-falling into his arms, collapsing against his chest. He takes over, thrusting into me wildly before tensing beneath me with a guttural groan as his warmth spills inside me.
I’m shaking from head to toe. Every part of my body tingles in pleasure as a heavy weight of exhaustion sinks over me like a cozy blanket.
Resting my head on his shoulder, I place my hand on his chest, feeling the mirroring beat of his heart to my own. His hand clasps mine, intertwining our fingers as his other hand slides around my body, protectively holding me.
Once we both have our breathing regulated and our hearts pumping at an acceptable speed, I let my eyelashes flutter open.
“So, are you going to tell me why you aren’t playing in your game right now?” I ask, trailing a finger over his collarbone.
He takes a deep breath, his finger tracing over the tattoos on my thigh.
“Yeah, I am.” He kisses my temple, holding me tighter to his body. “I told you everything with the video was taken care of, and that part was true. But when Ray got into his computer, he discovered that you weren’t the only one Greyson did this to.”
I sit up in shock.
“You mean…”
He nods. “Yes. There were others.” He pushes my wild sex hair behind my ear. “Ray saw a file labeled ‘Sarah’ and assumed it was yours. He didn’t need me to confirm anymore, but it wasn’t good enough for me. I couldn’t risk it. So I told Ray to send me your video.”
My lips part in shock. He had my permission to watch it, and I knew that was the plan, but hearing him confirm that he did is entirely different. “You saw it?”
His eyes travel up to the ceiling. “I only watched the first minute.” He looks back at me. “I saw you walk into the room with him, and then I saw him push you onto the bed, and that was all I could stomach.”
I bite my bottom lip, remembering how scared I was then.
“I wanted to kill him, Sarah. I wanted to kill him with my own two hands, and I’ve never felt that way about anyone in my life. I wanted to see with my own eyes what he did to you so I wouldn’t feel an ounce of remorse for what I was about to do to him.” He reaches for the comforter, bringing it up around us. “So, after I saw what I needed to see and confirmed with Ray that every single video was erased, I went down to the bar where a few guys from the team were, including Greyson and I… I beat the shit out of him. All I saw was red. I couldn’t stop. But it’s not enough. It’ll never be enough after what he put you through.” He runs a trembling hand over his face, going silent.
I pull his hand away, kissing each knuckle. “You wanted to protect me. You wanted to make me feel safe, and you did. It’s over now. And I can’t thank you enough for what you and your brother have done for me.”
He shakes his head. “Don’t thank me, Sarah. Not for that. Not for something that never should have happened to you.” He wraps his arm around me. “Coach got wind of what occurred, and although he assumes something bad had to have happened for me to act out of character, I didn’t tell him what caused me to lose my cool. So he suspended me from playing in my next three games as a warning to me and the rest of the team that behavior like that is not tolerated.”
I reach up to his face. “I’m so sorry.”
He smiles. “There’s nothing for you to be sorry about, Sarah. I will do whatever I need to do to take care of you.” He places his palm over my stomach. “And our baby.”
I swallow every ounce of emotion in my throat.
“I’m really glad you walked into that bar on my birthday,” I whisper, holding back my tears.
“Me too, baby girl.” He pulls me down with him, wrapping the blanket around us as he spoons me from behind, keeping his hand on my stomach while kissing the top of my head. “Me too.”
* * *
Blues and greens. Smooth lines and textured waves. Past, present, and future.
My brush strokes feverishly across the smooth surface, the image in my mind jumping onto the white canvas. My knuckles tense, my neck stiffens, and my bottom lip aches from biting down hard while lost in concentration.
Painting is not what one would call a physically demanding activity, but with me, somehow, it ends up that way.
My wrist attempts to give out on me as I reach for the top of the board, touching up a blue corner. But I can’t stop. Not until I’ve perfected this piece.
A piece that means so much to me.
A piece that is essentially a part of my heart laid before me in a flurry of colors and shapes.
Just one more…
Done.
I sit back on my stool, rolling my neck and shoulders.
I didn’t realize when I decided to submit some pieces for the art show how much of myself I would be displaying for others to see. Vulnerability used to be something I viewed as a weakness until recently. Until I realized how much is required of a person to be vulnerable before others.
It takes strength. It takes courage. It takes perseverance.
With each image I’ve created for this show, I’m feeling ready to be inevitably vulnerable in front of strangers, but it’s even scarier to think of presenting my pieces to those closest to me.
Like Paul.
My work could be shown worldwide, and the only person whose opinion I would care about is his.
Shaking my head, I murmur, “I hope he likes these—”
“Who are you talking to?”
Paint spills on the floor as I jump from my seat, spinning toward the door where I see Natalie standing with widened eyes and her hands apologetically in the air. My chest heaves as I slap my hand over my heart.
“Sorry! I didn’t mean to scare you,” she rushes out.
Waving a hand around dismissively, I reply, “It’s fine. I was just lost in the zone.” I bend down to pick up the brushes and grab some paper towels to clean up the paint on the floor. “What are you doing here?”
She steps inside, examining the room. “I was on my way back from therapy and saw your car in the lot. Figured I would find you here.” She leans against one of the tables, her hands clutching the edge. “Want some company back to our apartments?” Natalie’s eyes take in my artist apparel of paint-splattered clothing and… Shit!
I suddenly realize I’m not wearing one of the oversized T-shirts or sweatshirts I use to hide my small baby bump because I knew no one would be here tonight. But as I casually glance down at myself, relief is felt when I see my apron completely concealing my stomach.
Thank fucking God.
“Definitely.” I turn my easel toward the window, not ready for her to see the image, and head for the closet to get my winter coat, which I manage to put on while removing my apron.
“Are you ever going to let me see your work?” she teases, smiling.
“You will. But not until the show,” I respond, zipping my coat. “I’m…I’m just not ready yet.”
She nods in understanding. “I’ve got the date marked on my calendar. I’ll be there.” Her smile widens.
My fingers dig into the tender spot between my shoulder and neck. “Fuck, this is the one part about painting I can’t stand.”
“How long have you been here?” Natalie walks beside me as I shut off the lights, stretching my neck from side to side.
Reaching for my phone in my pocket, I wince when I see the time. “Shit. Five hours.”
Natalie’s eyes widen. “Have you eaten?”
I shake my head, hating myself for not taking a break to eat.
Natalie interlocks her elbow with mine. “I know just the place we can go!”
“Please tell me they serve fries.”
She nods. “Fries, burgers, milkshakes. All the fast food your heart desires.” She laughs. “It’s a diner near campus called Turn Back the Clock. Jason took me there a few weeks ago, and I’ve been dying to go back for another milkshake.”
I smile. “Sounds like my type of food.”
Pulling out my phone, I text Paul to let him know.
Sarah
I’m going to be home late. Going out with Natalie for some food.
Paul
I’ll be waiting in bed for you…
Sarah
Good. Because I think I may need a full-body massage.
Paul
Hmm. Pretty sure there’s some special oil in the bathroom we can use for this problem…
Sarah
Have you been snooping in my bathroom?
Paul
Seeing that it is currently our bathroom, I wouldn’t call it snooping. Just researching.
Sarah
Researching what?
Paul
Like, what toys and goodies you like to use.
Sarah
You probably shouldn’t look in my nightstand then…
*Thirty seconds later*
Paul
Holy shit. You’ve had this the whole time???
Fuck, Sarah.
Your body is mine the second you walk through the front door tonight. Hope you’re ready for me.
My cheeks heat up just thinking about him in bed…waiting for me with my special toy in his hand…
God, this man.
My man.
“Who’s making you smile like that?” Natalie asks, eyebrows waggling.
I shove my phone in my pocket, shaking my head. “No one. I was just checking my emails.”
“Sureeeeee,” Natalie purrs as we approach my car.
Guilt hits me. I know she’s teasing. I know she doesn’t actually care who I’m texting. But I’m filled with regret for not telling her anything. For keeping so many secrets from her, when she has been my first friend in… Well, damn, I guess she is my first friend.
“Natalie.” I press my hand on the top of my car door, steadying myself, feeling words ready to break free from within me.
She tilts her head, watching me from the other side of the car. “Yeah?”
I clear my throat. “I just… It wasn’t easy for me to make friends as a kid. And I don’t have much experience with the whole friends thing in general. I’ve been a loner for as long as I can remember, pretending it didn’t bother me and that that was how I wanted things. It’s just not easy for me to connect with people. To form lasting relationships. And even last year, when I would go out, it was just to…” To try to feel in control of my life. To make the thoughts stop. To not feel so alone all the time. I shake my head, feeling a sting at the tip of my nose. “Some things are going on in my life right now that I’m not ready to talk about, but I just want you to know the day I met you was one of the best days I’ve ever had. Your friendship…means a lot to me, and I don’t want to lose you,” I choke out.
Natalie sprints around the front of the car, tackling me in a giant bear hug. She doesn’t say anything, but I hear the occasional sniffle as she holds me tight, saying everything she needs to without words.
She parts from me to look at me, gripping my shoulders. A few tears trickle down her face, and I can’t help but wipe them away.
“You’ll never lose me. Whatever is going on, I’m here for you.” She smooths out my hair, smiling. “When you’re ready to talk, I’ll be ready to listen. Deal?”
“Deal.” I let out a relieved sigh, thankful for her understanding.
Thankful for the first friend I ever made.