Chapter Ten #2
Maddie stood up on her tiptoes, resting just three or four inches from his mouth.
“We should perhaps psychoanalyse that later,” she whispered.
Her lips met his and her senses flooded with the memory of their last intimate encounter — the way he’d smelled, the way he’d felt against her, how her body had pined for him, and still did now.
His hands found her face, then spread out to cup the back of her head, dislodging her headband.
He wound his fingers in her hair and pulled gently, pressing himself against her with a frustrated moan.
It was quiet, but loud enough to shock her into stopping as she remembered where they were.
She pulled away, her eyes wide with worry.
“Please don’t change your mind again,” James begged.
Maddie smiled at that. “I won’t.” She shook her head. “It’s just, we’re in public.”
“Oh, I’m sorry, did you not want to do this in front of strangers?” James quipped.
Maddie pulled back, balling her hand into a fist and thumping him jovially on the chest.
“But you’re such an extrovert,” he continued, teasing her. “I have clearly very grossly misunderstood.” He dragged her back into a hug.
“You guys all right in there?” Ryan called from the foyer.
“We’re all good,” James shouted back. Ryan poked his head around the door.
“Sorry, Ryan, you can come back in,” Maddie said, dropping James and straightening her headband.
She wondered if she looked as flustered as she felt.
James was looking her up and down. She caught his eye and he winked at her.
She was fairly sure by this point he could read her mind, so took this as wordless confirmation that she looked OK.
With her permission, Ryan picked up Bowie’s note and traced his handwriting onto a separate piece of paper, before carefully handing it back to her.
Maddie gently folded it and put it back in her bag.
“So, where do we want it?” Ryan asked. Maddie looked to James.
She hadn’t discussed wanting her brother’s commemoration tattoo in the same place he had his, but knew, somehow, he would be OK with it.
It was such a lovely idea, to tattoo something so sentimental across your heart.
Maddie hoped he was all right with it because she could not imagine having the tattoo anywhere else. James knew what she was asking.
“Across her heart,” he said to Ryan, not taking his eyes from Maddie’s.
“Are you sure that’s OK?” Maddie asked quietly.
“Of course it fucking is!” James couldn’t sound any more certain. “I’d be honoured to have matching brother tattoos across our hearts.”
They grinned at each other, and Maddie found herself wondering how she’d gotten so lucky. She had never in a million years expected to meet someone she felt so safe with. Never mind in her very own village.
Ryan nodded, tapping the reclining chair before him. “Pop up on the chair, then, Maddie, and let’s get this show on the road.”
* * *
“It didn’t hurt nearly as much as I thought it would,” Maddie babbled.
“A couple of little scratches and that was it. Like a nettle sting, or a friction burn. It didn’t go as red as I thought it would, either.
It might go red later, I guess. I can’t believe I’ve done it.
I’ve been contemplating it for so long! It’s most unlike me to make a decision like this.
Sorry, I’m talking too much, aren’t I? I’ll stop. ”
Maddie and James strolled gloved hand in gloved hand towards the beach.
He was watching her chatter away, visibly amused by her frivolity.
Every now and then, Maddie would hold her hand to the spot on her chest where Bowie’s words were now etched into her skin.
Her brother hadn’t had any tattoos, but she knew he would have adored this one, because Bowie had loved grand gestures.
She already knew she’d never, ever regret getting it.
“Don’t stop,” James said, squeezing her hand. She wasn’t sure when they’d started holding hands, but it had certainly been at least five minutes ago, and it felt so natural she hadn’t noticed until now. “It’s nice to hear you so excited about something,” he said.
Maddie thought about that. There were lots of things she was excited about, but she supposed she hardly ever talked about them.
She was excited about the recovery retreat — it had long been a dream of hers to own her own establishment, to take all of the best things she’d learned about caring for people and help as many people as she possibly could.
She was thrilled to have Pip back and that Bluebell was coming home.
She was ecstatic about Marley’s and Autumn’s wedding — whenever she remembered it was happening, that is.
She was obsessed with whatever was happening between her and James.
She made a mental note to talk about the things that made her happy more often in front of James and other people she cared about.
She didn’t want them to think she was a bore.
They reached the beach and took a left, pausing for a moment to admire a bride and groom getting their photograph taken amid a crowd of wedding guests.
The photographer was counting down from three and the group were trying to jump at the exact right time, but a few of the guests kept jumping too early or too late.
From their position behind the camera, Maddie and James could see that the photographer had given up on capturing the jumping photograph and was instead focusing on the laughing faces of the bride, groom and guests every time they tried and failed to nail it.
She captured the most beautiful picture of the bride, who was wearing a floor-length lace, emerald-green gown.
Every jump revealed a glimpse of her black Dr Martens, and she had to hold the gold crown on her head to stop it flying off.
“She looks amazing,” Maddie said.
“Do you think Autumn will wear something like that?” James asked.
Maddie laughed. She and Autumn had talked dresses on a couple of occasions, but Autumn hadn’t bought anything yet.
She was waiting for Bluebell to come home so they could all go shopping together.
Maddie wasn’t sure what Autumn would choose, but she was almost certain it wouldn’t be green.
“I think she’ll wear something quite traditional. ”
James nodded thoughtfully, tugging gently on her hand and pulling her towards the café he’d used to bribe her to come today.
It was right on the beach, a large wooden hut with pretty bay windows.
Through them, Maddie could see bookshelves lining the walls, glass cabinets bursting with cakes, floral wallpaper and scented candles.
She caught him checking her reaction, proudly admiring her awe.
“Isn’t it lovely?” he asked. “I thought we could have lunch, then maybe take some coffees and cakes to the beach hut for a couple of hours?”
“Sounds like a plan,” Maddie said. They made their way inside and James joined the queue, while Maddie said hello to a French bulldog sitting in the corner.
When James was almost at the front, she joined him, browsing the shelves of cakes and scones.
She wasn’t used to having this much choice.
There was an incredible vegan selection to choose from — lemon cake, banana cake and ginger cake, blueberry muffins, croissants, vegan cheese scones, plain scones, several types of homemade biscuits and half-a-dozen sandwiches.
In the end, she passed the decision on to James, who chose a selection of sweet and savoury snacks for them to take away, and ordered them a chip butty each to have now, as well as a pot of tea for two and a couple of bottles of dandelion and burdock.
He let Maddie choose where they sat. She led him to a window seat facing the ocean.
Maddie ran her hand across the soft wood of the table, leaned forward to draw in the scent of the nearest candle and leafed through a pile of books on the windowsill.
She felt truly present for the first time in a long time.
When she turned her attention back to James, he was watching her. He caught her eye and smiled.
“I’m having a really nice time,” Maddie said. His smile widened.
“Me too,” he said.
“We should have brought Stevie,” she said, admiring another dog, a chocolate-coloured Labrador.
“She hates being left in the car, and I really wanted to be inside with you when you got your tattoo,” James said.
Maddie nodded, her eyes wandering around the room again.
She’d hardly been out in six years, and had forgotten how much she enjoyed a nice atmosphere, a good coffee, and a talkative friend.
She reached across the table and grabbed James’ hands.
He lifted hers to his mouth and kissed her fingers, his big brown eyes sparkling with promise.
Maddie enjoyed his gaze upon her, but she wanted to tell him to look away.
The expression on his face — excited but trepidatious — thrilled and frightened her all at once.
They both knew that they were at a fork in their relationship.
From here, they would go one way or the other.
One path led to boredom at worst and contentment at best, but was absent of the thrill that came with a risk.
The other forked off again at some point in the near future, and the choice of destination from that point on was unclear.
“The beach hut thing...” he said, scratching at the table with his fingernail. “We don’t have to do that if you don’t want to.”