Chapter Eleven
Maddie walked through the kitchen door and into the arms of Bluebell, which should have been impossible, since her sister’s flight wasn’t due in until tomorrow.
“Oh, my God!” Maddie cried, holding her sister at arm’s length. She stared into her face as though checking she was real. Bluebell beamed at her, poised to jump back into Maddie’s arms. “What are you doing here?” Maddie said, pulling her sister back into a hug.
“Surprise!” Bluebell grinned.
“I was picking you up tomorrow, wasn’t I?” Maddie squeezed her sister tightly, drinking in her scent and enjoying the feel of her hot skin against her own freezing cheek. Bluebell held her right back. “The day before Christmas Eve, you said, I’m sure?”
“I wanted to surprise you,” she said. “I had no idea you’d be out gallivanting, of course.”
Maddie had almost forgotten that James was standing behind her. She dropped her sister and stepped back so that Bluebell could see him and he could see her.
“Bluebell, this is James. James, this is my sister, Bluebell.”
“Pleasure,” James said, shaking Bluebell’s hand.
“Nice to meet you in person, James,” Bluebell said, her eyes bright with what Maddie knew was approval.
Maddie’s heart lurched, and she quickly had to remind herself that James was quite clearly crazy about her.
He’d told her plenty of times this afternoon, with his words and with his actions.
Yes, her sister was beautiful, but he was hardly going to run off with her, was he?
She felt vaguely disappointed in her visceral reaction.
She had considered these insecurities dead and buried, but here they were, ruining what should be a happy reunion.
“Mum said you went to get a tattoo,” Bluebell said.
Maddie nodded, putting down her handbag and taking off her coat.
She pulled her top down at the collar and showed Bluebell the tattoo, which was safely encased behind a clear, sticky plaster.
Bluebell read the words with wide eyes, theatrically sticking out her bottom lip as she did.
“That’s so gorgeous,” she said, squeezing Maddie’s arm. “Bowie would love it.”
“He would,” Maddie agreed, going to fill the kettle. “Where is everyone?”
“They’re in the front room with Marley, Autumn and Benjamin,” Bluebell said.
“I’m going to head off, I think,” James said from where he was standing awkwardly by the door.
He reached down to greet Stevie, who had finally realised James was back and come to say hello.
He clipped her lead to her collar and readied himself by zipping up his jacket.
Maddie’s heart sank with disappointment.
She had hoped he might stay over in the spare room, so that she could sneak across the hall when everyone was in bed and they could rerun the fun they’d had earlier.
She knew James was trying to do her a favour by leaving her to spend time with her family, but at that moment she felt quite sure any distance at all between them was entirely too much.
“Oh, are you leaving?” Bluebell said, visibly surprised. “I thought you practically lived here now? Mum and Dad said you’re basically part of the family.”
James caught Maddie’s eye, and a wordless communication passed between the two of them.
This was exactly why they couldn’t tell anyone that there was anything happening between them.
Her parents adored him already, Marley and Autumn were well on their way to feeling platonic love towards him, Bluebell and Pip would follow suit, and Maddie and James knew there was a good chance this situationship would be hijacked by the people they cared about and overcomplicated.
They liked each other and they had limited time together, so they planned on spending as much of that time with each other as they possibly could.
This did not need to be made any more convoluted than that.
“Honestly, I haven’t been home in a few days,” James said. “I should really check on Mum.”
Bluebell shrugged, throwing him a little wave.
He waved back, catching Maddie’s eye as he did.
She had to work hard to keep her face straight, and to stop herself from marching over to him and giving him a hearty kiss goodbye.
Instead, she somehow mustered the energy to nod in a nonchalant, unconcerned, ‘we’re definitely not sleeping together’ type manner.
He nodded in response, opened the back door, called a cheery ‘goodbye’, and was gone.
Bluebell turned to her. “Oh my God, you’re fucking him!”
Maddie reeled, her mouth agape in disbelief.
There was no point in lying about it, Bluebell knew her better than anyone in the world.
That composed performance had been Maddie’s very best attempt at indifference.
If she hadn’t managed to convince Bluebell with that, then she had no chance of doing it across an entire winter.
“Shush,” Maddie demanded.
“Finally, the drought is over.” Bluebell put her hand over her mouth and stifled a giggle.
“Tell me all about it. Immediately.” She was whispering, but clearly enthralled.
If anyone were to walk in the kitchen, especially Autumn, there would be absolutely no hiding the fact they were talking about something juicy and secretive. Maddie kept an eye on the doorway.
“Later.” She gestured towards the living room.
Bluebell gasped. “Is it a secret? Am I the only one who knows? Oh my God, this is so fucking hot.”
“Stop.” Maddie groaned, exasperated.
“I’m sorry, I can’t.” Bluebell reached theatrically into the air, as though she was performing a monologue. “This is so exciting. A winter love story. My sister and the stable boy...”
“We don’t have any stables,” Maddie pointed out.
“We do for the purposes of this dramatic retelling.”
“Stop,” Maddie begged, though she couldn’t hide her smile.
“Promise me you’ll tell me every single detail later,” Bluebell said, earnestly.
Maddie nodded fervently, pouring herself a cup of tea.
She gestured to ask Bluebell if she wanted one, but her sister was heading for the wine cupboard.
Bluebell was a walking party. She was also a terrible influence on Autumn.
The two of them together were borderline hysterical ninety per cent of the time.
Maddie thoroughly enjoyed seeing them so happy, but her introverted personality meant she often found it overwhelming.
She braced herself, then followed Bluebell into the living room.
Emma, Ben, Autumn and Marley were sitting on the sofas. They smiled warmly at Maddie and Bluebell, shuffling up to make room for them both. Benjamin was sitting on the floor by the fire, drawing pictures.
“How was your day, love?” Emma asked, then, without waiting for an answer, she said, “Show us your tattoo!”
Maddie put down her teacup and adjusted her collar so her family could see Bowie’s beautiful words inked permanently across her chest. They were copied exactly as Bowie had written them and were about the length of a forefinger.
It was perfect. Ryan had done a spectacular job.
Their eyes filled with tears, as Maddie had known they would, but something had been shifting recently, and this time she was sure that even Marley’s tears were happy tears.
They were all terribly sad, of course, but they were also glad.
They had once had their very own Bowie, and he had loved them.
He was gone — and that had taken time for them all to come to terms with — but Maddie felt like they might finally be doing that in the midst of everything else they had going on.
She felt like they’d been stuck in time, focused only on getting through each day, but it looked like happiness might be on the horizon.
So, while Maddie knew that any mention of Bowie would most likely always bring tears to their eyes, something had shifted.
Just like the tears she had shed in the tattoo parlour that morning, these were not tears of desperation and despair.
They were tears of fondness and remembrance. They were tears of gratitude.
* * *
Pip had gone out with some old school friends, which was a shame, as it had been a while since Maddie had been in the same room as her entire family.
She’d have enjoyed that immensely. Still, she was thoroughly satisfied to sit on the rug before the fire with Benjamin on her lap, Bluebell on one side and Autumn on the other.
Bluebell did most of the talking, regaling them with tales of her travels, men and women she had met, animals she’d saved.
Maddie and Autumn knew most of these stories already, having kept in constant contact with Bluebell while she’d been globe-trotting, but they never tired of hearing about Bluebell’s adventures.
Her sister had such a funny way of describing things, so they were as riveted by her ramblings this evening as they always were.
“You really should start a podcast,” Autumn said, pointedly sipping her wine.
Maddie nodded in agreement. “We’ve been saying this for years.”
“Nobody wants to listen to this.” Bluebell rolled her eyes.
“I do!” Maddie and Autumn said together. Bluebell laughed, shaking her head.
“You underestimate yourself,” Maddie insisted. “You are really, really good at this. You’re funny, interesting, intelligent and adventurous. You have so many stories to tell. Honestly, Bluebell, you should do it.”