Chapter Twelve
It was Christmas Eve ‘Eve’, as Emma liked to call it, and there was a lot to be done.
The Whittles didn’t give each other gifts, they bought presents only for Benjamin, preferring instead to spend money on sharing experiences with one another throughout the year, but they did still enjoy several Christmas traditions, including a very hearty lunch.
There were many vegetables that needed to be prepped and, even though they were in the middle of renovations, Emma was insisting that the house must be spick and span, so Maddie agreed that she and James would focus on sorting out the upstairs rooms and let Emma and Ben tidy the downstairs rooms today.
“What are you doing on Christmas Day, James?” Emma asked, clearing away his breakfast plate.
“Not much.” He sounded perfectly normal when he said it, but Maddie thought she saw a shadow of sadness pass across his features. She squeezed his thigh under the table.
“Why don’t you come up here?” Emma suggested. “Stay tomorrow night and celebrate Christmas with us.”
“I feel bad leaving Mum,” he said. “It’s always been her and Nan at Christmas. This is her first Christmas without her.”
“Bring her!” Emma said. “There’s plenty of space! Autumn’s mum and sister are coming. They’re bringing Autumn’s new baby niece to meet us all. The more the merrier, honestly.”
James nodded gratefully. “I’ll ask her. Christmas is... a funny time in our house. I’m sure you understand.”
Emma nodded knowingly and sighed. “Oh yes,” she said. “I know exactly what you mean.”
Maddie and James made fresh coffees and took them upstairs to the back bedroom, which was the last room they needed to paint.
Between Christmas and New Year, the first lot of new furniture would be arriving and it would all need putting together, so it was really important they finish the painting today.
They were keeping some of the old stuff, the rest of it they were donating to charity.
They still needed to fix the orangery after Pigglesworth had ruined it — some of the stone flower beds needed to be rebuilt.
They had so much to do to the outside of the house, too.
The porch needed sanding and painting, as did all of the wicker furniture.
They needed to lay the groundwork for several outdoor areas and dig foundations for a pond.
Maddie still had no idea what they were going to do with Bowie’s old room, while her bedroom remained a clutter-filled disaster.
And then there was everything that needed doing for Marley and Autumn’s wedding.
Her to-do list felt never-ending. She was stressed to say the least.
Luckily, James was on hand to distract her.
He took her coffee and set it down on a paint pot, then closed the bedroom door and pulled her to him, kissing her deeply.
She groaned and wrapped her arms around his neck, her woes instantly fleeing her mind.
She deserved a few minutes to indulge in the sweet torture that came with this feeling, she reasoned.
She hitched a leg around his waist, encouraging him to lift her up.
He obliged, pressing her back against the bedroom wall.
“I’ve missed you so much,” he said, gazing up at her.
“You saw me yesterday,” she teased.
“After what we got up to yesterday afternoon, that night apart felt like a lifetime,” he whispered.
She nodded because she agreed. “Although, I had excellent fun reliving it on my own last night,” he murmured, raising his eyebrows suggestively.
Maddie whimpered and it made him smile. He kissed her deeply again, grabbing at her waist and driving their bodies together in what she knew was an indication of frustration. She groaned into his mouth.
He kissed her for a couple of minutes, before pulling away to look at her. “We have to stop this. We have work to do.”
“Agreed,” she said, enjoying the fact he had not yet put her down.
“Where shall we start?” he asked, pressing his lips to her neck. His breath against her skin made her shudder. Maddie moaned, winding her hand in his hair to hold him in place.
“I can do the cutting if you want to do the rolling?” she murmured. He nodded, biting her ear seductively and grinding himself against her once more. Maddie sighed, wondering with glee how people in lust ever got anything done.
* * *
It took most of the morning to complete the first coat.
While they waited for lunch, they talked through plans for the bedrooms. The master bedroom, which had once belonged to Emma and Ben and was still partly inhabited by them, had been split into three smaller rooms. Bluebell’s bedroom, which had been almost as big as her parents’ room, had been split into two good-sized bedrooms. Her bedroom and Pip’s old room, where James now slept, were the smallest rooms and were staying the same.
Maddie would keep her room and the other would be used by staff.
That meant there were five bedrooms for guests to sleep in. Maddie wasn’t sure that was enough.
“I want to help as many people as I can,” she said. “But I don’t want so many people here that we can’t give everyone the attention they need.”
“What about Bowie’s old bedroom?” James asked, gently. “You could fit another couple of rooms in there?”
Maddie shook her head. She didn’t know what she wanted to do with that room, but she knew she didn’t want strangers sleeping in it.
She might change her mind about that once the retreat was open and her guests started to feel like friends and family, but at the moment they were strangers to her.
She didn’t want to leave the room empty, but Bowie’s old bedroom felt too special for anything her imagination could concoct.
“Why don’t you leave that room to me?” James had read her mind.
Maddie moved to say no, but James shuffled closer to her and stared straight into her eyes.
“It’s a beautiful room and it should be used for something.
Bowie wouldn’t want it to go to waste. I swear I’ll be respectful.
I know it’s hard, but I really feel like you need to take the leap. ”
Maddie watched him thoughtfully. He was right and she wanted to say yes, but she was afraid to.
She never felt closer to Bowie than she did when she was in that room.
It was where she went when she was really missing him.
What if she let James renovate the room and it lost its comforting qualities?
She didn’t know what those qualities were, exactly.
The room was empty and had been for months, so she couldn’t ask him to preserve them.
“I’ve been sleeping in my bedroom when I’m at home,” James said. “Ever since that night we spent in there together. I haven’t slept on the sofa once. I just needed a little push. You gave that to me without meaning to. Let me give this to you?”
Maddie couldn’t help but smile at that. She was glad their impromptu sleepover had helped him overcome a personal demon and that he was back in the bedroom he’d shared with his brother.
“That night reframed the bedroom in my mind,” he continued.
“I remembered how much fun I used to have in there with Harry, playing with our toys, talking about girls, bickering about chores. I’d forgotten all of that.
I’d let our bedroom become a sad place, when there was so much happiness alchemised in it.
It looks different, sure, but it’s still the same little square of Earth I once shared with my brother.
Some of the best laughs I ever had in my entire life were in that room. ”
Maddie smiled, remembering with fondness a night her entire family had spent in Bowie’s bedroom not long before he had passed away.
They’d been dressed for a summer ball they’d never made it to.
Bowie had been too poorly to go, so they’d stayed at home with him, talking and laughing until the early hours of the morning.
“OK,” she said, nodding her head. James looked surprised, as though he really hadn’t been expecting her to say yes.
“We need to sort out the other stuff first, but as long as it doesn’t take away from what we need to do for the retreat, or what you’ve promised Marley and Autumn you’ll help them with for the wedding, or the stuff I’m expecting you to do to me most if not every single night, then go for it. ”
He raised his eyebrows at that last bit, chuckling heartily. “I’m going to need more information on what it is you’re expecting me to do to you most if not every single night,” he said.
Maddie motioned with her finger for him to come closer. “Come here and I’ll show you,” she said.
* * *
They fooled around on the bedroom floor for a little while.
They were quite clearly desperate for one another, but there seemed to be an unspoken consensus that they were not going to have sex on the floor in the middle of the day while her family were in the house, so they stuck to kissing and over-clothes action, playfully battling for dominant positions until they were all wound up and their lips were sore.
“We need to stop,” James said eventually. His voice was breathless with lust. “I can’t do this anymore, I’ll die.”