Chapter Thirteen
Maddie crept back to her bedroom and slipped giddily into the shower.
She set the water to a lukewarm temperature in an attempt to freeze the flush from her cheeks.
She could hear her mother humming somewhere in the house, presumably the kitchen.
The air was bursting with her favourite smells — cinnamon and hot wine, spiced orange, sugary biscuits and baking bread.
For as long as she could remember, Emma and Ben had put an enormous amount of effort into making Christmas magical for their children.
They were grown now, but nothing had changed.
It was, without a doubt, Maddie’s favourite time of year.
She felt as though she’d hardly had time to get ready for it this year, she’d been too busy worrying about the retreat, so it felt like the festivities were hitting her like a Santa-shaped brick to the face.
She readied herself quickly, desperate to join her family for breakfast.
She was the last person to arrive, but someone had scooped a ladle of piping-hot porridge into a bowl and set it out for her already.
Maddie thanked the table gratefully, tipped banana, raisins, apple chunks and a teaspoon of maple syrup on top and dug in.
She chatted excitedly with Benjamin about Santa Claus and what he might have brought him in exchange for being a good boy all year.
He told her what he’d bought for Stevie Licks — a basket full of toys and a new ball to play with.
He whispered it in her ear, in case the dog heard.
Stevie was splitting her time between sitting beside James with her head on his lap and staring hopefully up at Benjamin’s bowl.
James warned him not to give her any raisins, but said she could have a couple of slices of banana if she was behaving herself, though she wasn’t to beg, or to have too much.
Every now and then, Stevie’s nose would stray a little too close to Benjamin’s plate and James would command her to stop.
His warning tone would return the dog dutifully to his side, where she would stay until she was sure he’d forgotten all about her bad behaviour, then she’d slip back under the table to sit once more beside Benjamin.
When they were done with breakfast, Maddie followed her mother upstairs to fulfil her promise to help her clean the bedrooms. There wasn’t a great deal they could do — the rooms were practically upside down and would have to stay that way for the moment, but they worked hard to make up a room for Autumn’s mum, sister and niece, and Bluebell’s room for James’ mum, in case she chose to come, in which case Bluebell would sleep with Maddie.
James had reiterated over breakfast that he was doubtful, but had returned home to ask her anyway.
He’d be back either way, he promised, but if Jennifer didn’t want to accompany him then he’d return home in the evening.
Maddie knew it was the right thing to do — it would be his mum’s first Christmas without his nan — but she desperately wanted him here for Christmas Day and hoped wholeheartedly his mother would agree to join them for the festivities.
She played her anxiety down in front of her own mum, of course.
They’d just finished cleaning upstairs and were joining Bluebell and Benjamin to watch Christmas movies in the living room when Autumn’s mum, Katherine, and sister, Lilly, arrived in the early afternoon, much sooner than expected.
They always stayed at the big house when they visited since there was much more room here than there was in Autumn’s and Marley’s cottage, so it was much more comfortable for everyone.
Maddie went with her mum and dad to meet them at the front door, hugging them briskly and taking their cases.
“Sorry, Emma,” Katherine said, looking flustered. “We set off early because we thought we’d run into traffic, but the roads were all clear, so we had a really good run down. I tried to call Autumn, but she isn’t answering her phone.”
“Oh, don’t worry about a thing,” Emma said. “She and Marley are at home getting their things together. They left Benjamin with us. He’s in the front room with Bluebell.”
“Where’s my favourite grandson?” Katherine called, heading for the living room.
Lilly rolled her eyes at Maddie, who smiled politely.
She’d tried to force herself to like Autumn’s mum, but it was no use, she really didn’t.
She knew too much about how Katherine had failed Autumn and Lilly when they were young.
She’d left them without food and heating, prioritised relationships with men over their safety, made them feel unloved and unwanted.
Still, she was trying to make amends for it now and Autumn had invited her to do so.
It really wasn’t any of Maddie’s business.
She would swallow her disdain and be polite, as always.
She pulled the suitcases into the house and handed them to an eager-looking Pip, who she suspected had vacated the living room when Katherine had arrived.
Her brother was not a fan of Autumn’s mum, either.
“How are you, Lilly?” Pip greeted Autumn’s sister with a kiss on the cheek. “Who’s this little beauty?” He gestured to the pink bundle in Lilly’s arms.
“This is Daisy,” Lilly said, proudly twisting her arms so that Maddie, Pip, Emma and Ben could admire her baby daughter. She was four months old and full of smiles. Maddie and her family cooed, and Daisy rewarded them with a grin and a giggle.
“She’s gorgeous,” Maddie said. “Nice work, Lils.”
“Thank you,” Lilly said. “I need a wee. Do you want a squidge?”
Maddie squealed excitedly, holding out her arms to take the baby.
She carried Daisy into the living room, where she laid her on a pouffe and freed her from her giant snow suit, singing happily as she removed the baby’s hat and mittens.
Daisy was a calm, courteous baby. She fixed her eyes on Maddie’s face and let her take off the garments without any fussing or fighting.
Maddie was glad. She’d loved her time with Benjamin as a baby, but he had been well behaved.
She wasn’t sure what she’d do if Daisy started crying.
She was almost done straightening the baby’s floral playsuit when Benjamin caught sight of them.
He immediately lost interest in whatever he was doing with Katherine and made his way over.
“What’s her name?” he asked, watching Maddie intently.
“This is your cousin, Daisy,” Maddie said.
“Daisy is a flower name, like Aunty Lilly’s,” Benjamin said. Maddie, who had not noticed the name theme until now, nodded enthusiastically. “What’s a cousin?” he asked.
Maddie explained. “If your mummy’s or daddy’s brothers or sisters have babies, those are your cousins. Aunty Lilly is your mummy’s sister, so Daisy is your cousin. If Aunty Bluebell or Uncle Pip had a baby, they would be your cousins, too.”
Benjamin nodded thoughtfully. He watched Maddie pick up Daisy and gently bounce the baby on her knee.
Daisy squealed happily. Benjamin reached out and took the tot’s hand in his own.
He eyed her with extreme curiosity and Maddie realised in that moment he had little experience of babies, and had certainly never seen her holding one.
She wondered if he was feeling a little jealous.
“Are you going to have a baby, Aunty Maddie?” he asked.
“Maybe one day,” Maddie said.
“With James?” The question took her completely by surprise.
“Why would you think that?” she asked. She tried to sound unfazed, but was worried he’d seen or heard something, perhaps caught her and James kissing or — God forbid — worse.
She could not imagine anything more awful than being responsible for poisoning the innocent mind of Autumn’s and Marley’s child.
She knew she didn’t look unfazed in the slightest.
“Because he loves you,” Benjamin said. He spoke the words as though they meant nothing, as if he was telling her what he’d had for breakfast.
Maddie reeled. “He’s my friend,” she said, her voice high and squeaky.
She was glad none of her family members were in the room to hear this exchange.
Her brothers and her parents knew her very, very well.
They would know instantly from her reaction that Benjamin had taken aim and hit a nail on the head.
“He looks at you all the time,” Benjamin said, dropping Daisy’s hand and standing on his tiptoes to stroke the baby’s hair.
He gazed up at her as he did so, and Maddie saw Bowie looking back at her.
It wasn’t just that he had Marley’s hair, blue eyes and skin tone — and therefore naturally looked like his father’s twin brother — there was something in the way he held himself.
The sparkle in his eyes and the tilt of his head.
They were such Bowie-like gestures they rendered her speechless for a moment.
“He’s my friend,” Maddie tried again.
Benjamin shrugged. “If you say so.” He turned his attention back to Daisy.
Maddie had never heard him say something like this — questioning, a little mocking, disbelieving — and it took her by surprise.
She made a mental note to ask Autumn if he’d ever said it before.
Benjamin would often hear things when he was watching cartoons or movies and then repeat them.
That was all this was, Maddie reassured herself.
She shook her head, urging herself to get a grip.
“Who’s James?” Katherine asked. She’d been sitting in the corner looking at her phone, but quite clearly listening to their conversation. Maddie had been hoping she wouldn’t insert herself.
“He works here,” Maddie said, pausing to coo at Daisy. “He’s helping me with renovations. We’re friends, that’s all.”
Benjamin stared up at Maddie, his eyes wide with mischief. “If you say so,” he said again.
* * *