Chapter 23
Twenty-Three
“ H ow did it go, Dad?” Trevor asked, his eyes on the coatrack he was making, although he did glance at his dad as he walked into the shop. There was no mistaking the smile on his dad’s face. He didn’t need to hear his dad say it went well in order for him to know that it went well, very well.
“I think they liked me,” his dad said.
Trevor couldn’t shake the feeling that came over him for just a couple of seconds at the idea of his dad trying to impress someone else’s children rather than his own. At the idea of his dad being in someone else’s family, with their kids being his stepchildren.
It felt…wrong. He had never before stopped to consider how it might affect a person whose parents were working on making a different family than the one that they were used to.
How hard it must be for children whose parents got divorced, and then they tried to put a different family together. No wonder divorce was hard on children.
“Of course they liked you, Dad. Everyone likes you.” He couldn’t think of a single person who didn’t like his dad.
“There’s a first time for everything, and when I have so much riding on it, when I care so much, you can’t help but be nervous, you know? ”
“Yeah. I know what you mean.” Sometimes the things that meant so much to them were the very things that God didn’t give to them. He didn’t really understand, other than to think that maybe God just wanted to test them and make sure that they weren’t putting anything ahead of Him.
“I’m glad.”
He wanted to ask if anyone asked about him, but he just kept working on the coatrack in front of him. Making sure he got the details right, giving it more concentration than what it actually required.
“So are there wedding bells in your future?” he finally asked.
And he wasn’t jealous. He really did want his dad to be happy.
After what his mother had done, he felt his dad deserved all the happiness in the world.
Of course, his mother had burned her bridges, since she had very little or no relationship with any of her children.
“I wish you would have gone. You would have been welcome.”
“Did anyone ask about me?” He didn’t want to ask that question, but he made up for that by trying to put as much disinterest as he could into his voice. All of a sudden, the coatrack got exceptionally more interesting.
“No. I guess they didn’t.”
“That’s what I thought.” He sighed.
“I wish there was something I could do. Grace is such a nice girl, and I really feel like you guys would be perfect together.”
“I thought that too, but apparently the lady doesn’t feel the same, so I just need to accept that. Unless I fight it, and that’s kind of silly, since you can’t make people feel things for you that they don’t feel, you know?”
“It’s a hard lesson to learn.” He paused, coming over to the workbench and watching over Trevor’s shoulder as he worked.
Normally he didn’t care for people looking over his shoulder, but he actually welcomed his dad.
His dad was not the kind of person who was going to criticize him, but he would give him helpful tips if he saw anything that could be improved.
“Some people never learn that lesson,” his dad continued, his voice thoughtful.
“It was what I had to learn when your mother left. She didn’t give me much warning, any, if I remember correctly.
I felt like I would have been blindsided anyway.
And I did beg her to come back. Begged her to not break up our family, begged her to reconsider.
I prayed and prayed, and I was sure that God would answer my prayer, because after all, I was asking for something good.
I was asking for my marriage to be reconciled, for my family to be put back together, something that God wanted, which is a marriage and family intact.
He hates divorce. So why would He allow mine? ”
“There’s a good question. I think you had a point. But… God didn’t put your marriage back together.” He had never thought about it that way before, but his dad was right. Why wouldn’t God answer that prayer? It was obviously God’s will for any marriage to stay together.
“I can’t answer that. All I can do is say that I have to continue to have faith that whatever God allows has to be the right thing.
Even if it feels like something that’s very wrong.
” His dad shifted, coming around more beside him and leaning against the workbench, folding his arms over his chest. “I learned a lot through that time in my life. I think a lot of times when we go through pain, those are some of the most intense learning times that we have.”
“Too bad we can’t learn without pain,” Trevor said, not wanting to acknowledge how bad his own heartbreak felt. His chest had been on fire since the moment Grace had said that they weren’t anything and sounded like she meant it with her whole heart and soul.
“I think without pain, lessons don’t stick.
He makes us desperate. I read once where one of those royal Russian families were being invaded by the enemy.
The father, the king, knowing he was probably going to be killed, was hiding something important and wanted his daughter to remember where it was.
He knew that she probably wasn’t going to remember unless it was associated with something terrible, so he took his own knife and slashed across her hand.
And then, once he had done that, he looked her in the eye and told her where he was hiding the treasure.
He knew that was the only way he could make sure that she remembered where it was if it took years for her to get back to the throne. ”
“Wow. That’s pretty brutal.” He didn’t know whether he could slash anyone’s hand, let alone his own, innocent daughter’s, and especially if that was going to be her last memory of him before he was killed.
“That’s what a loving father does. He doesn’t think about himself, and sometimes you can’t think about the immediate comfort of your children.
Because if that daughter was ever going to grow up and resume her rightful place on the throne, she was going to need to know where those royal doodads that he was hiding were.
Without them, she couldn’t claim her right to the throne.
He was doing her a favor, it just didn’t seem like that way at the time. ”
That made sense. As much as he didn’t want to admit that the pain of losing Grace again, or since he couldn’t really lose what he didn’t have, of not getting Grace, was for the best.
He had to believe that. That God was allowing him to feel the temporary pain so that God could do something greater later on.
It was sad comfort but something that he would be wise to remember in his life.
God was in control of everything, and when things didn’t go his way, it didn’t mean that God hated him, or that he should get upset or angry, but that he should just have faith and trust the Lord to work all things out for his good.
“I’m sorry, son,” his dad said, putting a hand on his shoulder, as though he knew exactly what Trevor was thinking.
“Dad, I’m happy for you. I don’t want you to be sad right now. This is an exciting time for you. Your new family loves you, and you’ve got a girlfriend that you’re hoping to marry soon.”
“I did want to talk to you about that,” his dad said, dropping his hand and moving away a little, looking at the shelf where the sandpaper and sanders and various nails and screws were stored.
“About what?” Trevor asked, wondering if he had missed something.
“I was thinking about asking Gita to marry me.”
“Don’t you think it’s kind of fast?” Trevor asked, trying to figure out exactly how long Don and Gita had been seeing each other. For real, not for fake.
“Maybe it feels fast to you, but it feels like forever to me, and I’m not getting any younger.
Plus, it’s not like Gita is someone I just met and I don’t know anything about her.
I know she’s a solid, upstanding, God-fearing woman, who is living for Jesus.
That’s what I want. Hopefully she knows the same things about me and feels just as comfortable with me as I do with her. ”
That’s all a person really needed. To know that someone loved Jesus, and to know their history was even better.
“When you put it that way, it makes sense.”
“And I guess at my age, I can’t help but think that every day that I don’t spend with her is a day that we’re wasting, because I don’t have an unlimited number of days. No one does. It’s just that when you get to be this age, you really realize that for real.”
Trevor hadn’t gotten to that age yet. The years of missing Grace, and wishing that she was his, seemed to stretch out endlessly in front of him. He didn’t exactly wish that his life was shorter, but a shorter life would mean less pain.
“I guess I’m not old enough to understand that yet,” he said, and he couldn’t help that his voice sounded a little depressed.
“The right girl is going to come along, one who appreciates you and loves you for who you are. Sees what you are and thinks you’re the greatest ever.
I don’t know why Grace can’t see that, but it seems like she’s always looking beyond you for things that are better.
It makes me mad, even though I love her and think she’s a wonderful person. ”
“Thanks.” That was the right answer, but he didn’t much feel like thanking his dad.
Because he really wanted to hear his dad say, I think Grace actually likes you.
She’s just doing a good job of pretending she doesn’t .
Or even better, he could say, Grace admitted to me that she really does like you. And regrets the things she said .
Of course, there was that kiss. What was with that?
It almost felt like a goodbye kiss to him.
He hadn’t wanted to participate in anything like that.
It would have been like loading the gun for the firing squad to shoot him.
Well, maybe not that terrible, but still, it felt like an ending rather than a beginning, and he didn’t want endings with Grace.
He wanted beginnings. For the rest of their lives.
“That looks nice,” his dad said, indicating the coatrack that Trevor held loosely in his hands now.
“There’s just something I was thinking about. I wish I had more artistic talent, to paint some flowers or something right here where the header is. It would look a lot better.”
“Grace has that talent,” his dad said and then shook his head. “I’m sorry. I just always thought the two of you fit so well together. I’ll try not to say things like that in the future.”
“Dad. It’s okay. I’m not some little snowflake that’s going to crumble if you mention something that I don’t want you to.
Talk about her if you need to. And if you’re getting married to her mom, you’re going to be seeing her a lot, I would assume, since I think she’s moving in with her mom permanently. ”
“That’s what her mom said, and Gita seemed to be pretty happy about it. Of course, I’m not sure what’s going to happen since Gita and I plan to live together, and you live with me and Grace lives with her… That could get a little crowded at the breakfast table.”
Trevor didn’t miss the glint of humor in his dad’s comment. He tried to laugh along with it. “Whichever house you guys choose to live in, I suppose Grace will stay in her house, and I’ll stay here, so you only have one of us.”
“The other one’s going to visit.”
“Yeah. I suppose they will.” He didn’t want to think about how awkward that would be. Maybe he had jumped the gun and shouldn’t have planned to move back to spend so much time with his dad.
“I can see you’re thinking right now that maybe you should see if you can get your job back and move back to the ’burbs, but don’t even think that way. I want you here. Need you.”
He didn’t know how much his dad actually needed him, but he did know that if his dad said he needed him, there was no way Trevor could say no.
“I’m not. I love it here, and I love being here with you. And these are supposed to be the years you and I spend together.”
“I hope you don’t mind if Gita is involved in those too.”
“That’ll make me happy.” It wouldn’t make him happy if he had to see Grace, especially seeing Grace with some other man.
He needed to stop thinking about that though.
He needed to figure out a positive way to spin it.
Wasn’t that what Grace was telling him? That she figured out how to see things in a positive manner and focus on that?
That’s what he needed to do. That, and to let her go, and just accept whatever God allowed in his life. Because God always did what was best.
“Some things just are meant to be,” Don said, clamping a hand on Trevor’s shoulder and squeezing, before he walked out of the woodshed.