Chapter Seven. #3
I wonder where we’ll both end up in life.
Will this be the end of our close friendship?
I can’t imagine we’ll stop being friends altogether, but maybe our best friend phase has run its course.
A twisted tug of sadness hits me in my core from that reality along with nostalgia for the times we may not get again.
His family’s farm has always been one of my favorite places to escape to when I’ve felt overwhelmed with life.
If I could describe heaven, it would be there, helping in the field or with the livestock.
Sometimes when Ben isn’t around, I’ll hang out with his father in the shop while he fixes machinery.
Even just sitting here now, I can smell the exhaust from the tractors or the fresh cut hay in the field after him and his father have mowed it down and raked it. Mmm…my own personal euphoria.
I used to run over to his house on the weekends before Tree existed.
When he’d come meet me straight out of the field, God, he’d smell so good, like fresh dirt and sweat.
Whenever I hugged him, especially on those days, it was hard to let go.
My body would completely relax like he was my own personal therapy human.
Not to mention, his parents are practically my second family. I’ve been to plenty of family dinners, holidays, family game nights and even a few vacations with them.
Although now that I think about it, my parents never returned the favor. Ben’s rarely been invited over to my house as part of the family or treated as such. I never realized that before. I wonder why that is.
My parents on the surface seem to like Ben a lot. Maybe before the summer is over, I’ll ask if my parents are okay with inviting him over a few times for game nights and including him as part of the family so we can have those last memories to share together before the good times inevitably end.
“Okay, Charlotte, let’s see what you got,” Mrs. Coxe says from behind me.
“Huh? Oh, sure.”
I scoot my chair back and give her a full view of the screen before fading back into my daydreams.
Jared leans on the classroom door, hands fully in his pockets as he waits for me after class.
“Beautiful dress today, Charlotte,” he says putting his arm around me per our new routine. “I’m sad that after today I won’t get my daily dose of you in your dresses. We’ll have to make sure we meet up over the summer, so I can get my fix,” he jokingly says with a wink.
At least, I think he’s joking. He needs a daily dose of me in dresses? He wants to hang out during the summer? A hot burn tingles my face at the implication.
I walk with him to my next class, not bothering to check for Ben.
I’ll let things flow and fix themselves naturally between us.
Plus, I’m sure approaching him while Jared has his arm around me won’t improve the situation.
I make a mental note to ask him why he hates Jared so much one of these days.
He’s a nice guy. Plus, all the other girls are friends with him.
If he was a bad guy, he wouldn’t be so well liked, right?
Jared leaves me at my next class with a tight side hug which I reciprocate with a head on his shoulder and a wave goodbye. No other teachers bother to teach anything of substance to us seniors, so I’m able to spend the rest of my day zoning out about Ben, Jared and my new anonymous stalker.
Does he go to my school? Is he even in school?
I can’t tell his age at all by his posts, but regardless of his age he seems…
experienced. Is his face as hot as his body?
If I text him again, will he respond? I shake my head at the ridiculousness of the idea.
No. I invited him in and he stiffed me. He doesn’t deserve my attention right now.
Everyone else in class bonds over their excitement for all the graduation parties this weekend and what events are being held at each one. I don’t have any others to attend besides Jared’s and Ben’s this weekend. I’m surprisingly excited about going to both.
Look at me being a social butterfly.
I’m determined to be more outgoing at both parties and have a social summer.
Currently, I’m more excited for Jared’s party at this point because it doesn’t involve worrying about how Ben will react or might be feeling since he won’t be there.
I’ll be totally free to enjoy myself for once.
And if the biker boy wants to see me, he apparently knows where I live so he can come get me if he wants to that badly.
Hmph.
Someone grabs me from behind and pulls me into a hug.
“Hey girl! I cannot believe it’s our last day. We’re like officially adults now!” Shirley walks around in front of me with a sidelong smirk. “Also, I have a few questions for you.”
My stomach jumps in anxious anticipation of what questions she could possibly have. She practically falls into the chair next to me.
“Okay, so first off have you seen the biker boy’s post I sent you yet?
His videos are sooo fuckin’ hot. If you don’t check them out, you will regret it.
And look, I know you don’t want to create a Xypher account, but it doesn’t cause any harm to do it.
Plus, if you create one, then you can follow me, and I can send you all the hot guys I follow.
It’ll be how we bond over the summer and keep in touch,” she exclaims with a giggle.
If there was such a thing as being a lush for men, she was it.
I curl my lips in at the comment to fight a grin, knowing I have to lie.
If I’m honest about creating an account and stalking his profile, then for some reason I feel like she’ll know what I did…
know that I pleasured myself to that profile multiple times, am starting to have an unhealthy obsession with him and that he’s reached out to me.
I don’t want to share that part of me with her, nor anyone.
“How about this. How about you help me create an account sometime this summer so we can be connected through Xypher once we both go off to college?”
She lights up at the idea. Good, she bought it.
“Perfect! Text me, and we’ll get together and create one and explore all my favorite profiles. Who knows, maybe we’ll find the perfect guy for us on there.” She stares up at the ceiling dreamily.
I smile at the dopey expression. Yup. Such a lush.
“Great,” I chuckle.
“So… are you dating Jared?” she asks in a hushed tone, leaning towards me.
In the middle of bending down to grab my notebook, I almost lurch out of my seat in shock. Dating? Me? Jared?
“What makes you say that?” I say cooly, hoping she didn’t notice my actual hidden reaction.
“Oh, you can’t hide it from me, Charlie. I know the only reason you’ve been wearing dresses all week is to catch his attention. Plus, his arm’s always around you in the hallway and to be honest, it looks like you enjoy it.”
Oh…I didn’t think about everyone being able to see how Jared and I were acting. I’ve been in my own world, oblivious to the people around us. The only person’s reaction I ever thought about was Ben’s. Self-consciousness creeps back into my gut. What have people been saying about me behind my back?
“Well first off, I didn’t start wearing dresses for him nor anybody for that matter.”
Lies.
“And Jared sorta just started waiting for me after my classes and acting like that on his own. I mean, he’s cool and all, but I’m pretty sure we’re just friends.”
“Mmm. I see,” she says like she doesn’t believe me in the slightest. I hadn’t bothered to put the time in to delve into what’s happening between Jared and me. Maybe it’s worth investigating… I am single after all, and he does seem interested.
“Well, regardless of what’s actually happening, it’s pretty obvious he likes you. Do you like him back?”
“What’s with the third degree, Shirl?” I snap with a bite in my tone. Being interrogated about my personal life is not something I’m up for with her nor anyone else right now.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to hit a trigger. I was only curious. Jared’s never dated any girls at our school, so I find it interesting is all.”
I nervously play with the drawstrings on the bosom of my dress, contemplating what to say.
“No,” I pause. “We’re not dating. Honestly, I have no idea what’s going on. As far as I’m aware, we’re just friends, even though we have gotten closer this week…”
“Girrrrl. No one is interested in being just friends when they act like that. Especially when they walk you to your car every day and are all over you all the time. I mean, you have noticed how he looks at you, haven’t you?”
Yes, but not really? There’s a small bit of intensity to it, but it’s not like it’s all the time.
Sigh.
Being out of touch with my emotions is getting really inconvenient. I shouldn’t be this oblivious to everything everyone else can see, especially when it makes me sit here clueless.
“I mean, I have noticed he’s looked at me… differently, but I don’t know. Nothing’s happened.”
“All I know is that if Jared was looking at me like that, I’d be all over him. You should be flattered. Like I said, he’s never chosen any girls here to go out with. You’re the first.”
“Chosen? Are there literally girls lining up to date him or something?”
“Yes! How’ve you never noticed?”
Well, because I only paid attention to the girls who always went after Ben, which always seemed to be a lot. I forgot about other guys who might be tagged as desirable, yet unreachable.
“I don’t know. I’ve uh, never been in this situation before, I guess.”
Shirley rolls her eyes.
“Always so innocent, Charlotte.” She chuckles trying to play it off, but I swear it sounded snarky like she was annoyed.
“Was that supposed to be a dig at me?” I retort, not caring if she registers my snark back. The comment she made is rude and meant to hurt me on purpose.
Her eyes narrow for a second, flashing her true feelings. Then it hits me.
“Do you like Jared? Is that what this is about? Are you jealous?”