Chapter Ten. #3
Yikes. Ew, too far. It’s gross to think of these girls doing that. My graphic brain needs to chill.
Has he reached out to any of them as well? Is he just a player who stalks and randomly pursues all the girls who obsess over him? Most likely…
Fighting the small tinge of jealousy, I ignore my brain for a while and tune back into the party happening right in front of me.
The rest of the night flies by. The girls invite me to the humongous bathroom to change where we hang out and get dry before heading out to the bonfire setting up in the backyard.
They pull up a truck with loads of pallets tied to the back and lay ten pallets down in the middle with stacks of long wooden planks up along the sides.
It’s even bigger than the bonfires held at homecoming games.
We have to stay back while they make a small sand barrier to make sure it won’t spread.
The fire rages quickly, the searing heat stinging me from outside of the sand barrier. The girls and the rest of the guests start unfolding lawn chairs to relax and hang out by the fire.
Jared never told me to bring a chair, so I don’t have one. I suppose I can sit on the ground, although I’ll feel left out. I walk up next to Julie and stand there to make conversation in the meantime until I decide what to do.
“Do you have a chair, Charlie?” Julie asks.
“Oh, no. I didn’t know I was suppos—"
Jared cuts me off mid-sentence. “Here’s yours, Charlie.”
He winks and sets a huge blue rocking lawn chair down in between Julie and his. He pats the seat inviting me to sit.
“Thanks, Jared.” I force out a chuckle. Did he purposely plan on not telling me to bring a chair so he could make sure he set one up next to his?
His chair is incredibly close to mine, the plastic of the arm rests touching.
If I move my arm too much to the left, his arm will graze mine.
He doesn’t seem bothered by it, so I try not to focus on it or care if we brush our arms, eventually settling into a constant position with them resting against each other.
I shrug it off, figuring it’s no big deal, and focus my attention back on Julie and Porter who’s sitting beside her.
Time flies from the fun of girl talk with them. We discuss everything—periods, what sucks about being a girl, how boys have it so easy and even our home lives.
A couple hours later, a vibration in my pocket tickles my leg. I pull my phone out and see a text from Ben.
I swipe up to reply but get distracted by Julie and Porter saying goodbye and getting up to go home.
And no wonder. It’s twelve-thirty in the morning.
Matter of fact, almost everyone else has already left too.
I was so engrossed in our conversation I didn’t even notice how small the circle had gotten.
I stand up to leave as well but a hand on my arm holds me back.
“Wait. Hang out with me a bit more?” There’s a small plea in Jared’s voice. Why not? It’s an innocent enough request.
A vibration in my hand, pulls my attention, delaying my response.
What the hell? Ok, this guy is getting a little scary…
An eerie chill drags down my spine, spreading goosebumps under my skin all over my body.
“Charlie?”
Should I call Ben and have him come pick me up?
“Charlie?”
“What?” I respond, still half distracted while anxiously chewing on my thumbnail.
“Will you hang out with me a bit more? Please?” His puppy dog eyes practically beg me in this second request.
With Jared here I should be safe. If the biker shows up, I’m sure he’ll protect me.
Then when it gets too late, I’ll just call Ben and have him come get me or follow me home so I know I’m safe.
I should confess what’s been happening with the biker boy anyways to rid this minute amount of guilt that rises whenever I think of him when I’m around Ben.
It’s like I’m cheating on Ben, even though I know that’s not the case.
“Sure. But just so you know, my social battery is nearing zero, so I’m not sure how much fun I’ll be or how long I’ll stay,” I answer casually.
Jared doesn’t need to know about my newfound stalker. It’ll be on a need to know basis for him.
He laughs, “That’s totally fine.”
I sit back down and rock back and forth in the rocking lawn chair.
A small tremble lingers under the surface from worry about if and when my previous obsession is going to show up.
Soon after, the last group leaves, leaving just us two sitting in front of the now more conservative fire.
It burned down fairly quickly; we can barely feel the heat of it outside of the sand barrier now.
“It’s getting chillier out. Want to get closer to the fire?”
“Yeah, for sure.”
I’m grateful he’s cold too, because I’m freezing.
I step closer to the fire, keeping myself a couple of arms’ lengths away.
The fire’s crackling music fills the air around us as we watch the floating embers dance around the burning logs.
One ember flies up particularly high, my eyes trailing it up to the beautiful stars shining brightly in the night sky.
The ember burns out and falls to my left onto Jared who’s staring at me intently.
“What?” I shift on my feet, backing away out of instinct.
“I’m glad you came tonight. It was great seeing you having so much fun, although I do regret that we didn’t spend more time together.”
“Well, I’m sure there’ll be other parties during the summer that we’ll both go to. I’m going to attempt to be a socialite now so you may catch me out and about more,” I say lightly, smiling.
“So, tell me, why exactly were you trying to set me up with Shirley tonight?” He sticks his hands in his back pants pockets and rocks back and forth on his heels.
I chuckle, meeting his gaze. “Shirley told me she’s had a crush on you for ages and since me and you had gotten closer this last week, she wanted me to set her up with you. I promised her I would so that’s what that whole situation was about earlier.”
He furrows his brow at my answer, his lips tightening together. “You’d rather her be with me than you?”
“What do you mean?” I utter hesitantly. I know what he means. Another truth hiding in my brain surfaces, showing me how na?ve I’ve been once again.
It’s official. He does like me. He does want to be with me.
But that small part of me that did want to be with him, however briefly, is completely gone.
My gut instincts pull at me, telling me it’s time to leave and now, but I’m unsure how to make my exit without making him feel bad. An eeriness settles over me as he moves closer, his steps slow but intentional. My feet take another step back on their own.
“Why didn’t you wear a dress for me today like you have been all week?”
“I-I didn’t wear the dresses at school for your attention. I randomly decided to wear them for myself,” I stammer back, almost tripping backwards as I pick up speed to get away.
He’s less than an arm’s length away from me now. His scent wafts toward me in the breeze, the smokiness filling my nostrils.
“I think you did; you just didn’t know it. You willingly rested your head on my shoulder in between classes and embraced me when my arm was around you. I told you we were going to be more than friends, Charlie. What didn’t you get about that?”
He thrusts his arm out and grabs me by the left arm hard and pulls me roughly to him.
Swinging his other arm around my waist, he positions my right arm, so it’s pinned between us and looks down at me.
I know I need to run, but I’m frozen. It doesn’t matter anyways, he’s holding me so tightly, it’s a struggle to move. What the hell is he doing?
“Jared, please don’t grab me like that. It hurts. Let me go.” I wiggle to see if he’ll release me, but he doesn’t budge.
His eyes no longer look kind but instead are filled with a scary almost-black intensity, the only glow in them the reflection from the now simmering fire.
“You know you want this, Charlie. We’d be great together.
I guarantee it. Plus, no girl has ever not wanted to be with me, so just go with it, okay? ”
He lowers his head, his lips puckered and in position to kiss me.
My heart pounds in my chest, but the adrenaline provides no help.
I squeeze my other arm up in between us and try to push away from him with both palms on his chest, but he doesn’t budge.
He’s so much stronger than I realized. Not good.
Not good at all. With nowhere to go, I scrunch my face and turn to the left just before he reaches my lips, positioning him to land on my cheek instead.
He moves his lips to my neck and kisses slowly up and down. His lips are so cold. Goosebumps trickle along my whole body, like little ants are crawling all over. I know they’re not only from the cold of his lips, but the disgust with him and myself. I hate it. I hate this.
I continue pathetically struggling to wiggle out of his grip, but it’s no use. My mind races along with my heart, my breathing stuttered and short.
I’m too weak.
Why am I so weak?
How did I let myself get into this situation?
How was I this naive?
I never thought Jared would do anything like this.
He kisses my neck harder, trying to keep me still so he can continue. In horror, I feel him exploring, moving down and grabbing my ass, pulling me roughly into his hardness.
The fight in me freezes at the intimate violation, my body going still. No one’s ever touched me that way. I don’t want my first intimate touches to be with Jared. Not like this.
Not like this.
Not like this.
The pleas fill my head, but my mouth stays shut, silent, like my body wants to betray me.
No.
Stop.
No, not like this.
He holds both my wrists in one hand as he brings his other to the front of my jeans and fumbles with the button. My voice balls up in my throat, straining as I push with everything to get a word out. But all I manage is a weak croak.