Chapter Sixteen.
Every day is bliss with Ben.
I wake up, shower, eat, try to look as cute as possible then go over to Ben’s to spend the day.
So far, we’ve had just enough alone time to get in a quick session of making out and him playing with me, but we haven’t gone any further and he hasn’t gone down on me since he held me up against the barn.
He does make sure to grab my ass and boobs whenever he gets a chance, and I make sure to tease him by sneaking in a feel through his work jeans, but I’m dying for more.
I zone out, enveloped in memories about our escapades, as we walk side by side to the next field to help his dad unhook the wagon he’s using to pick up wood that fell off dead trees around the farm and the backwoods. It’s pretty much full now.
The week flies by and Thursday night is here before I know it.
After we finish eating dinner with his parents, he grabs my hand and escorts me to his bedroom. We haven’t hung out in there since we started our relationship. Is tonight the night things will progress further?
I’ve been dying to feel him, skin to skin and see what it fully looks like. Plus, I want to repay the favor. He makes me feel so good. I want to make him feel good too. I might even be ready to have sex. I think…? I don’t know how you ever know if you’re truly ready for sex.
Either way, I’ve done my best to prep myself.
I’ve taken birth control for years because my periods have always sucked, which works out because I hear that it feels better for the guy if he doesn’t use condoms, so we don’t have to worry about that.
I also researched blowjob techniques yesterday which provided…
interesting results to say the least. Badgirlsbible definitely earned itself a bookmark on my private tabs to look at more in depth later.
I even braved a quick trip to the store to grab lingerie making sure I went to one an hour away from home so I didn’t chance running into anyone I knew.
The lingerie store accentuated my self-consciousness.
I wish I had a best girlfriend who would’ve been able to have this experience with me. That would’ve been much more fun.
The lady who measured my bra size was nice enough though and tried to bolster up my confidence.
She gave me recommendations on what would fit me and what would look good.
I bought several new lacey thongs, a v-string and two full outfits equipped with stockings that went up my legs while the rest of the outfit was either tied together or closed with clips.
I pray he likes everything. I hope I didn’t go too overboard.
Thankfully, I had enough money saved up from summer jobs over the years and from helping Ben and his family that I could use cash to buy everything so it wouldn’t show up on my parents’ card. I do not want to have a conversation with them ever over that purchase if at all possible.
He shuts his bedroom door and walks over to the bed, pulling me down with him and holding me against him tightly. He inhales deeply, smelling my hair.
“Your smell is so addicting, babe. I need you to give me some of your perfume so I can spray my pillow. I can barely sleep these days without you. I need something that smells like you so I can relax at night.”
My heart leaps, beyond happy he feels the same way I do.
“I can do that, but I’m honestly having the same problem. You’ll have to give me yours too. I wish we could sleep together instead of swapping perfumes.”
He buries his head in my neck. “Oh yeah?” he chuckles.
“Not like that,” I snap, jokingly.
“I did think of a plan to address that problem.”
“Oh?” Butterflies race to my chest.
“We’d risk getting in trouble with both our parents though, so it’s up to you if you want to try it.”
He rubs my stomach lightly, caressing the skin under my shirt, his other hand firmly holding me in place against him.
“If you’d stop that, I could concentrate on what you were actually saying.”
My brain always stops working when he touches me and gets me all worked up.
He kisses the back of my neck, making my problem worse. “Sorry, babe.”
Shivers run down my spine from another light peck on the neck, and another, and another.
Damnit, I’m soaked. She’s so easy down there. I wish I could scold my own body part to chill out.
“So, what’s your plan?” I reach back and run my fingers through his hair.
“I want to stay with you tonight. I’ll ride my bike over after your parents are asleep and park down the street like last time, that way no one will hear it.
Then you let me in when I get there so I don’t wake anyone up by using the key.
I’ll set an alarm on my phone to make sure I’m out by like four in the morning before anyone gets up for the day. It’ll be like I was never there.”
Exhilaration rushes through me at the danger of getting caught and of us sleeping together in the same bed. Will he try anything? I tug on his hair behind me to pull him closer even though it’s not possible.
“Absolutely. Let’s do it.”
I turn over to his smiling face full of happiness that matches my own huge grin.
“I need sleep. I’ve never been this uncomfortable in my life. It’s like my body hates being alone now that it knows what being next to you feels like.”
“Mhmm. It’s as if every time you leave a piece of me goes with you, leaving me in a void until you come back and fill in that missing piece. I….” His brows furrow. “I…. don’t want to be apart from you.”
I kiss him softly. “Me either, baby.”
Just when I think we’re about to start messing around, he grabs me and pulls me flush on his chest as he flips on his back. He sighs loudly, rubbing his hand along my back in calming strokes.
“Wait, weren’t you supposed to go out riding with the guys tonight?”
“Yeah, but I cancelled. Didn’t I just say I didn’t want to be apart from you?”
He kisses me on the nose, making me scrunch it. I lay my head back down on his chest and close my eyes, listening to his steady heartbeat.
“I can’t believe graduation is in two days. Are you excited?”
I completely forgot about graduation…
“Not really. I don’t really care about it to be honest.”
My stomach sinks.
Shit.
I’ll have to see Jared. My muscles tense and I start picking at my nails. His lips press against the top of my head, sensing my shift into anxiety.
“Don’t worry. Jared won’t do anything in public. Plus, if he says anything to you, I’ll be there and I’m not afraid to kick his ass in front of everybody and expose him.”
“I don’t want you getting in trouble for protecting me, either. If Jared says anything let’s just ignore it, okay?”
“No promises, but I’ll try.”
I grab his nose and tug.
“Ouch! Fine…I’ll really try not to hit him.”
I raise my head up and rest it on my folded arms.
“Ben. I’m serious.”
He gently brushes his hand along my cheek, moving my hair behind my ear. I playfully bite his finger.
“Fine, Char. I promise.”
I reach up and kiss him in thanks, lingering there to stare into his beautiful, beautiful eyes.
“Unless he pushes it too much,” he whispers on my lips.
“Be—"
He cuts me off by thrusting his tongue into my mouth, kissing me deeply and wrapping his arms around me so hard I’m pinned to him, unable to move at all. I melt into him and let him have this win. I’ll make sure to revisit the issue later.
“So, you’ll be over around eleven-thirty? My parents are usually in bed by ten-thirty.”
“Yup. Can’t wait.”
He blows me a kiss, winks and shuts my car door.
The tension to leave him is still present but lessened by the fact I’ll be seeing him in a short two hours.
I can barely sit still. As soon as I arrive home, I run around my room like a mad woman, cleaning up anything that looks out of place. I can’t believe he’s going to stay the night.
Eeek!
Finally, the time comes and he texts me he’s on his way.
Okay, the last thing I need to do is pick out pajamas. What am I going to wear to bed? Am I going to wear the new lingerie I got?
No, that might look like I was asking for it or trying too hard. I don’t want to push him to have sex if he’s not ready for it either. Alright, oversized T-shirt and boy-short underwear it is. That’ll be cute enough, right?
Ben’s message lights up my phone:
I quietly open my door and take a quick peek down into the hall to make sure my parents’ bedroom door is closed. Perfect, I can hear my dad snoring from here.
I tiptoe down the stairs, avoiding the third creaky step, twist the lock on the front door as slow as humanly possible, praying the click of the deadbolt won’t wake my parents and creak open the door.
Wow. How did I get so lucky?
Ben stands there smirking at me, looking devilishly handsome in his motorcycle jacket, pants and boots with his black motorcycle helmet clutched under his arm.
“Hey, you.”
“Hey, you,” I whisper back.
I step aside to let him in.
The walk upstairs feels like it takes years, but my dad’s continued snores still echo in the hallway, confirming we’re safe.
I shut my bedroom door, anticipation pulsing through me, and my core, setting my body on fire just watching him make himself at home in my room.
I sit on my bed and watch him shrug off his jacket, setting it on the back of my computer chair.
I turn my box fan on for the night, so we’ll have more of a noise buffer in case one of us accidently makes a sound.
Next, he takes his shirt and pants off, his black boxers gleaming in the light of the computer, and lays everything neatly folded on my computer chair.
The shadows dance in the dips of his abdomen and v-cut, perfectly displaying his chiseled body to me.
I can’t stand how deeply I ache for him in this moment.
How’s it possible to feel so far away from him when he’s right in front of me?
I can’t get enough of this guy. Finally, he sets his rings down with a small clink on my desk and tiptoes over to me.
“You look hot,” he whispers, bending down over me and jumping onto the side of the bed closest to the wall.
“So do you,” I whisper back.
“I know. I saw you drooling over me.”
I smack him in the dark, unsure of where I hit him.
“Ow! Hey, it’s not like you were the only one drooling. Having you open the door only wearing an oversized T-shirt and underwear where I had to follow your ass just barely peeking out all the way up the stairs was torture. I got hard instantly.”
“I was dripping as soon as you took your pants off.”
“Fuck, babe. You drive me so fucking crazy. But…we have to behave tonight.”
I pout in the dark. He’s got to be kidding.
“Why?”
“Because I want to be with you, not just with your body and I don’t want to chance making any noise.
Plus, we really need to get some sleep. I promise we’ll have plenty of nights where we don’t get sleep because we can’t keep our hands off each other.
For tonight, all I want to do is hold you and drift to sleep.
I want the sound of your breathing to sing me a lullaby and be surrounded by the scent of your hair embracing me in an inescapable aroma. ”
He’s so romantic, and sweet and caring. He’s proving time and time again my body isn’t what he’s after. It’s all of me that he wants. I feel like a fool for only thinking about sex.
“Come here, you,” he whispers, pulling me to lay on top of him in our usual snuggle position and running his fingers gently through my hair.
Comfort instantly finds me. My eyelids close on their own accord from the heaviness of lack of sleep this past week. This comfort is indescribable, as if I’ve been placed in an environment where I know nothing can get me and I’ll never have to escape if I don’t want to.
His fingers stay the same rhythm, starting at my scalp and finding their way to my ends. The perfect metronome. God, how I love this man.
I wake up at three-forty-five to his phone vibrating on the bed. Surprisingly, he’s already getting ready to leave, putting his clothes on and donning his helmet. Pain aches deep in me. I hate to see him go.
“I’ll see you tonight, babe. I’m glad you slept well.”
He gives me a hug, letting the cool plastic of his helmet rest on my cheek.
“Did you sleep okay?” I mumble against his chest.
“Best I have in a long time, baby.”
He squeezes me tightly, but instead of going back to sleep, I walk him downstairs and see him out.
I want as much time with him as possible, even if it’s just for another couple of minutes.
I watch him walk to his bike resting behind the bush near our mailbox, pick it up and start walking off with it down the street.
He turns around for one last look. I wave goodbye. He waves back and blows me a kiss. I catch it and send one back. My heart can’t handle how precious he is.
I close the front door as slow as humanly possible once again and scurry back up the stairs. At least my bed still smells like him.
Mmmmm.
I snuggle into the side of the bed he used and put a reminder in my phone to give him my perfume for his own room. Then I drift back to sleep comforted by his residual scent on my pillow.