Chapter Eighteen.
I don’t feel anything. My mind becomes a black void of nothingness, leaving me numb, and in a daze. Is this even real? Am I dreaming?
I can’t remember how I got here, and the world is spinning.
I lean forward in my car, resting my forehead on my fingers gripping the steering wheel and let it all out, sobbing so hard I can’t breathe.
My heart breaks into pieces. It’s shredding and ripping itself apart and there’s nothing I can do to stop it.
So, I let my body do what it needs to as I continue to cry, heaving and gagging from my stomach twisting so viciously in between my gasping breaths.
A voice in the distance calls my name, echoing onto the walls of my heart while it tries to hold whatever pieces are left together. Arms wrap around my shoulders and stay there, holding me as I release all the emotions I’ve been keeping down about my parents and our now deteriorated relationship.
“Come here, baby,” Ben voices from somewhere far away. Arms curl underneath my knees and around my ribs as he lifts me out of the car. I bury my neck into his, wetting his shirt with my tears and trying to escape into his scent.
He carries me into the house straight to his bedroom, shutting the door with his foot and lays me down on his bed, holding me as the little spoon until I calm down.
I inhale deeply, soaking him in. Bit by bit, his cologne calms me, peace slowly wandering its way through my body, getting the shaking to dwindle.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Ben whispers, kissing the top of my head.
“My father was treating me like a prisoner. He told me I had a curfew of eleven, that I wasn’t allowed to have my phone after that time, and I was only allowed to see you max three times a week and those visits had to be supervised.
So, I packed a bag and left. I couldn’t stand the feeling of being treated like that.
I’m eighteen. I’ve graduated. I believe I have a right to my own freedom especially since I don’t think I’ve done anything wrong.
” I pause, second guessing myself. “You should’ve seen my father’s face, Ben.
He looked at me like I committed some heinous crime.
I-I just can’t figure out what I did to make him so angry because his reasonings didn’t make any sense.
Did I do something wrong? Did I deserve all that? ”
He squeezes me tightly, stroking my hair and lightly brushing his fingertips over my back.
“No, you haven’t done anything wrong, baby.
He was being extremely unfair. Ever since I’ve known your dad he’s been the most laid-back guy ever.
This is very out of character for him. What did your mom say? Did she agree with him?”
“Pfftt…” I scoff into his warm chest. “There was only one time she tried to stand up for me, but she backed down immediately. Otherwise, she did absolutely nothing. She just fucking stood there. I know she loves my dad but to see her be a complete pushover disgusted me. She’s supposed to protect me and instead she did nothing.
” Small sobs resurface. “I don’t know what I’m going to do, Ben,” I whisper, barely audible.
“Well, obviously, you’re going to stay here… with me,” he says so confident and sure about his spontaneous plan.
I came here with nowhere else to go, not even thinking about my next steps. I was scared he’d turn me away. That he’d be uncomfortable with me coming to him with this heavy drama, but I should’ve known better.
I tilt my neck back and look at him. “Really?”
“Absolutely.” He smiles brightly.
“I’m gonna take care of you. Don’t worry about it. You can stay here as long as you need to.” He presses a soft kiss on my lips and brushes his nose against mine affectionately.
“Don’t you need to ask your parents?”
“I actually already asked them last week. I obviously had no idea something like this would happen, but I asked them if you could start staying overnight here after graduation and they said ‘Sure, as long as we’re responsible.’” He winks, waggling his eyebrows.
I’m floored. He had the balls to ask his parents if I could stay over before this all happened?
Well, it was probably because he was sick of getting up at four in the morning every day, but still.
What an amazing human and boyfriend. He must really like me.
The small strings of my heart vibrate as they start connecting in hopes they can meld back together.
“I don’t know what to say. I’m…I’m very grateful, but that wasn’t an agreement for me to basically live here. I’ll talk to your parents and double check an extended stay is okay.”
He kisses me hard, lingering there for a few seconds before pulling away.
“Figured you would. No rush though, they’ll be busy for a while. They’re out in the fields and have things to fix in the shop when they get back, so we can walk out there whenever you’re ready.”
“Okay,” I say, snuggling back into him and closing my eyes.
We lay there for I don’t even know how long. I steal some kisses, as does he, but mostly he holds me as I stroke my fingers along his back.
I don’t want to move out of this safe place. I’m scared if I move then all those emotions will come rushing back and I’ll crumble all over again.
Ben starts to pull away from me, but I cling onto his shirt to hold him there.
“I had a thought…” he pauses.
“Yeah?”
He presses his forehead to mine. “Wanna go for a ride?”
We knock heads from me shooting upright so quickly.
“Ouch!” he cries out laughing, holding his forehead.
I hold my forehead to stop the stinging and squeal, “I’m so sorry! Are you okay? I’m so in. Let’s go! I can’t wait to wear my helmet and backpack you!”
“Okay, well giving the driver a concussion before you go on the road is not a good start,” he chuckles, smacking me in the ass.
“You’re tough, you can handle it,” I joke, running to the bathroom to pee. This is exactly what I need.
Oof.
I shouldn’t have looked in the mirror. Puffy eyes stare back at me and red blotches cover my skin in an extremely unattractive way.
If only I could hide, but that would do me no good.
Ben’s been looking at me in this state since I got here.
I splash cold water on my skin, hoping for a miracle and avoid the mirror on my way out.
I flick the bathroom light off but stop in my tracks when I step back into the bedroom. Ben’s plump member is outlined perfectly in his underwear, his leather biker pants surrounding his waist but not yet zipped. My eyes widen, lips parting in lust.
“Eyes up here, Char.”
Shit, of course he can see where I’m staring. He winks, smirking at me like he knows I’m wrapped around his finger.
“Your biker pants are on the bed.”
“What? You mean you bought me biker clothes too?” I exclaim excitedly, running over to the bed.
“Of course. I wasn’t joking about safety. Your riding jacket is next to your helmet in the barn as well.”
This is absolutely the pick-up I needed. He knows me so well.
I pick up the pants, admiring them, and caress the cool leather, feeling the bumps and the pads on the knees and thighs for protection. They’re all black except for a double white stripe that goes across each thigh.
I hoist them on under my graduation dress. Damn they’re tight. I have to jump and pull up hard at the same time several times to get them up all the way while sucking in my stomach to button them.
“Damn, I’m not this skinny!” I pant from the effort it took to slide them on.
“They’re meant to be tight, silly,” he chuckles.
I run over and embrace him, giving him a big kiss. “Whatever you say, Captain. Let’s go!”
I turn to go out the door, but he grabs my arm, holding me back.
“Okay, there’s no way you’ll be able to fit your dress under the jacket. Here—" he throws a tight black T-shirt at me in my size.
“Put that on.”
“Okay, you really didn’t have to buy me all this stuff. I could’ve bought myself this gear if you would’ve told me what I needed.”
“I know, but I wanted to. Plus. if I told you, then you’d know when I was giving you a ride and I wanted to surprise you.”
“Well, thank you. I’m grateful…”
He nods in appreciation then goes quiet, blatantly staring at my breasts, waiting for me to take my dress off and change.
“Turn around,” I sass, placing my hands on my hips.
He pouts, and mimics me by placing his hands on his hips too.
“Why?”
God, he’s so fucking hot.
“Because.” I smile, barely able to contain the joy in my heart. “If you see me take off my dress, we won’t leave the bedroom and go for a ride.”
He throws his head back and laughs then turns around. “Yeah, you’re one hundred percent right, Char.”
I throw my dress on the floor and pull the shirt on. A perfect fit. Will going braless be a problem? Hopefully it doesn’t get too bumpy or cold on the ride, because I don’t feel like searching for a bra in my bags right now. I just want to get on the bike already.
“Okay, done.”
My breasts get assaulted aggressively as he squeezes and fondles them. “Good God, baby, how am I going to ride if you don’t have a bra on. I’m already getting so fucking hard looking at your nipples pressed against your shirt.”
Feverish heat flushes under my skin stemming from where his warm touch caresses my breasts.
Seconds. It only takes seconds for me to be completely out of breath, and on the verge of succumbing to him, but I have to stop this. There’ll be time for this later. As much as I want this now, I need to ride. I swear that bike is calling to my soul, and I can’t put it off anymore.
Only one word is able to escape at a time as he massages my breasts and caresses my neck with his kisses, totally scrambling my brain.
“We. Can. Do. This. Later,” I breathlessly whisper.
It takes everything in me to step away from him. I cross my arms over my chest to hide the goodies from his view and back away until I hit the doorway. His cheeks are flushed, and his hands are at his sides while his chest rises and falls deeply with each breath.