7. Day by Day
DAY BY DAY
A spen
It was Saturday. I’d spent the morning cleaning up my apartment—laundry, wiping down my refrigerator, vacuuming, cleaning out all my paint brushes, and organizing my work.
Anything I could think of to keep busy. However, I did not wash my sheets.
For some reason, the thought of them not smelling like him immediately made me somber, which I truly didn’t feel like I had time for.
So dirty sex sheets were staying. No regrets.
Last night was…it was everything. Perfect didn’t even fully encompass how I was feeling.
I don’t think I’ve ever felt so light, safe, carefree, or fun.
So, of course, it was with the guy I’d told I just wanted casual sex with.
The guy who didn’t do “ commitment .” Go figure.
I hadn’t been upset when I’d woken up and he’d been gone, because I knew he was trying to maintain boundaries we’d both set last night.
I’d texted him earlier, telling him I had fun and thanked him for being understanding about the lack of desire for anything more than casual.
I was hopeful that even if we didn’t have a committed or exclusive relationship, we could remain friends.
Maybe with benefits thrown into the mix here and there.
I mean, he seemed to enjoy himself just as much as I had.
I rolled my eyes at myself for my ridiculousness.
He’d read the message, but I didn’t hear back.
Which was fine. This was good for me. A step in the direction of not being so overly emotional about every aspect of my life. I needed to find a solid middle ground between being alone and dedicating every facet of my life to a man who wouldn’t or maybe couldn’t do the same for me.
Emotional growth could start with a one-night stand. No issues. I was just peachy.
I turned on my shower. Waiting for the water to heat up, I clicked on one of my favorite feminine rage playlists.
I wasn’t going to waste any more brain power on this—truly.
It was great sex, amazing, some may say.
Was it basically the best sex of my entire life?
Yes. But now I knew what was out there. I had a standard now, which was more than I had previously.
Standards were good; they showed growth.
Growth was also good. Some may even say great.
However, as an adult, I needed to get ready for work. Stepping into the shower, I let the hot water run down my body and took a deep breath.
No more thoughts about Rowan.
I washed my hair and body while singing with my favorite female icons. Finishing up, I was caught off guard when my music paused. I opened the curtain to glance out at my phone, and realized it was vibrating on the countertop. I glanced at the name, but it was an Unknown number. Again.
Closing the curtain quickly, I leaned against the shower wall. It wasn’t him. He hadn’t found me. It was a wrong number. A spam call. I slowly sank down to the floor of the shower as my music started playing again, letting me know the call had gone to voicemail.
I tried to remember the breathing techniques I’d learned online. Deep breath in, and hold, then release it. Right? How long did I hold it? Three seconds? Maybe it was five seconds—that felt long though.
Suddenly, the music stopped again, my phone vibrating. I felt my breath coming out harder. Hot water streamed down my face which I knew wasn’t coming from the shower head above.
He couldn’t find me. I was okay. I was safe.
Maybe it was five seconds after all. Five seconds in, hold, five seconds out.
That sounded right—felt right. Or maybe it was the senses thing?
A couple of things I could see, hear, touch…
was that five things too? That felt like a lot of things to find. That was probably the point anyway.
The music was playing again, and I was still sitting on the bottom of my shower. I needed to get out. I had work tonight. I forced another slow, deep breath. Reaching over, I shut the now-cold water off and reached up to grab my towel, pulling it down around my body.
Drying off my face, I took another deep breath. It was fine. I was alone here. I was safe here.
I slowly stood, wrapping my towel tighter around my body and opening the curtain. Touching my phone screen, it unlocked to reveal four missed calls from an unknown number. I swallowed down my panic. I’d just change my number again. No problem.
I wiped off the mirror and started getting ready for work. I could do this. It would be fine. It had to be.
Work was absolutely slammed. Apparently, there was a rodeo in town or something of the cowboy type event, so, of course, everyone wanted food and beer.
Honestly, though, it was better for me. Not only more tips, but the busyness of it all kept my mind off the unknown calls and a certain Mr. Tall, Dark, and Handsome that I wasn’t letting myself think about anymore.
I went up to the bar to grab the drinks for one of my tables, only to turn around and there he was.
As if my subconscious had summoned him—mind, body, and soul to my workplace.
A place I’d never seen him prior to now.
He was sitting at the bar next to me with a shit eating grin on his face.
My pulse instantly sped up just from the sight of him in front of me.
I swear it was like I could feel him between my thighs again.
Fuck, would it always be like this? It couldn’t always be like this. Absolutely not.
“Don’t mind me. You’re busy. I’ll be here when it slows down, little angel,” he said, the grin still on his face, as if he couldn’t be happier to be here in front of me right now. He’d shaved his face, and honestly, I wasn’t sure what I liked better. The bit of stubble or the clean-shaven look.
I nodded my head and took my tray of drinks to my tables, doing my best not to sneak glances back at him every spare moment I had.
The next two hours flew by, filled with busy tables of rowdy people, decent tippers, many fake smiles plastered to my face, and subtle glances Rowan’s way while he ate at the bar, talking to our bartender Lucas.
I swore as I ran around, I’d periodically feel his eyes on me.
The heat rushed through my entire body every single time.
I wasn’t even sure why he was here to begin with.
I could be making this a thing in my head, and he was just here to get some dinner.
Maybe he and Lucas were friends. This visit could have nothing to do with me, and I was being a cocky little bitch for no reason.
Of course, there was only one way to know for sure.
When most of my tables were gone for the night, and things were finally slowing down, I gathered up my courage and pulled out the stool next to him. “Hey, Lucas, can I get some water?”
Lucas nodded, walking off to grab me a glass. I looked next to me to find Rowan staring, his face somewhat somber. “How ya feeling, little angel?”
The fake smile I’d had plastered on since the start of my shift faltered.
“I’m fine,” I said with a shrug. He raised an eyebrow at me, as if to say, “try again.” “It’s just been a long shift, and I had some drama beforehand that I don’t want to talk about.
But thank you for asking,” I spit it out as quickly as I could, trying to enforce the seriousness in my tone without coming across as rude.
Rowan just nodded for a moment. “I understand. What time do you get off?”
“Uh…ten. So, about an hour from now, I guess. Assuming my tables leave in a timely manner.” I shrugged and looked away. Why in the world was I blushing right now? He just asked about my schedule—not my panty color this evening. Although if he asked about that, I’d probably blush and tell him.
“Okay, I’ll be here,” he said it so matter-of-factly, as if there was no further discussion needed.
My head snapped back toward him as I tried to hide the shock on my face, but failed, if his expression was any indication. “What do you mean? You’re here for me?”
He smirked. “Oh, angel, why else would I be here?” He shook his head for a moment and then looked back over at me, taking my hand in his.
“I need to just put this out there now. No confusion. No miscommunication. I know we said we were keeping it casual. If that’s truly what you want, I’ll be there to support it.
I’m not trying to push you. But, Aspen, I like you.
While I have no idea what that means, or even looks like, because I’ve never done this before a day in my life, I’d like to see what it could look like with us. If that’s okay with you.”
I nodded and realized my mouth was hanging open. I reached with my other hand and took a drink of water.
“I get the feeling you have trust issues, and while I won’t try to push the issue until you’re ready to talk about it, I need to really emphasize that this ball is in your court. However slow you want to take this, I’m here for the journey.”
A few moments passed before I realized I needed to check on my tables, and I hadn’t said a single word back to Rowan.
“Uhm, day by day?” I said cautiously and glanced back over at him.
He nodded with a smile. “Day by day, little angel.”
I bit my bottom lip in an attempt to hide my nervousness. “Okay. I’m going to go back to work now.”
He leaned over and gently kissed my cheek. “See you soon. Oh, and we’ll chat about that lip biting after you get off.”
His eyes were serious, and I felt the blush crawl up my cheeks while my thighs clenched. At this rate, the man was going to ruin my panties before I ever made it home.