18. Not Just Yet #2
“Fuck,” he groaned. He pulled my opposite thigh up onto his shoulder and pressed his cock deeper inside of me, keeping his other hand around my throat.
Everything about this felt perfect, as if this was exactly where I belonged.
With this man, his hand dictating how much oxygen I received and where my eyes went.
I didn’t have to think beyond how fucking good it all felt to be with him, beneath him.
“Say it again, little angel,” he mumbled.
“I’m yours, Rowan,” I whimpered. I could feel my orgasm building again, my cunt tightening around him as he moaned.
“Fuck, yes,” thrust “you,” thrust “are, little angel.” His grip tightened around my throat again, and it took everything in my power to keep my eyes on him.
I refused to do anything that would entice him to stop.
He leaned down and smashed his lips onto mine as he kept up the rough and grueling pace.
His lips. His grip. The lack of oxygen.
Black dots clouded my vision as I felt my orgasm crash over me. Electric sparks ran down my entire body as he lifted himself to watch my face. My eyes stayed locked on him, just as he asked. He released his grip long enough for small bits of oxygen to hit me and his cock stayed buried to the hilt.
“That’s right, little angel. My angel. My girl.
Milk my fucking cock. That’s my good girl,” he groaned, and I felt his cock pulse as he finally came.
His gaze slipped from my face to my cunt as it pulsed around him.
“So fucking perfect,” he whispered and came up to kiss me again.
His hand left my throat to gently stroke my cheek and jaw.
“So fucking perfect for me,” he whispered over and over as he kissed down the other side of my jaw and down the column of my throat.
He slowly pulled out of me, and I thought he was going to untie the ropes, but instead, he reached over and pulled out his phone as he crouched between my thighs again.
He grabbed whatever the small thing was that he’d brought from the closet.
It was small and black, slightly egg-shaped, with a string hanging from one end.
“What is that?” I asked, my voice slightly hoarse.
“I want one more, little angel,” he replied. I tried to close my legs, shaking my head, but he held them open. “One more for me, perfect girl. I want to watch you come again and see myself spill out of your perfect little cunt.”
“Rowan…I can’t,” I whispered.
He came up, planted a quick kiss on my lips, and smirked. “You can, and you will.”
He went back down between my legs and slowly pushed the egg-shaped device into my sore cunt, and I let out a groan mixed with a gasp.
“Rowan, please,” I whimpered.
“Please what, little angel?” he asked, but before I could respond, I noticed that he had a small remote in his hand and he clicked a button on it.
Immediately my cunt started vibrating and I squeezed my eyes shut.
Fuckkkk me, it was a vibrator. I heard a ding and looked down to find his camera out, him filming my pussy as it vibrated.
“Are you—are you filming this?” I asked, my tone slightly shocked and slightly turned on.
“Yes, yes I am. Don’t worry, it’s just for me since you seem so intent on not staying here,” he said, as he clicked a button again, and the vibrating picked up. “I need something to watch while you’re gone, little angel. You’re all I want to see.”
I wanted to roll my eyes, but I could feel another orgasm building, and I threw my head back on the pillow beneath me, moaning.
“That’s right, just let go, angel. I’ve got you,” he ushered me on.
I shook my head, my eyes squeezed closed. “I can’t…I can’t, Rowan. Please,” I pleaded. Instead of turning it off, I felt his thumb rub against my sensitive clit again, and I felt my soul leave my body as another orgasm hit me, leaving my entire being in aftershocks of pleasure and pain.
My eyes were closed, and my breathing was labored as I felt him turn off the vibrator and slowly pull it out.
Cursing beneath his breath. I felt him slowly kiss up my body, and then my wrists were free as he gently kissed around each one.
I felt like I was having an out-of-body experience, just feeling and listening to everything around me, but not really seeing it.
He kissed along my collarbone, and I felt his nose run along my throat. “You did so well, little angel. I’ll be right back,” he whispered softly against my skin.
I felt myself nod my head slightly, and my eyes opened just enough to watch him walk toward his master bathroom.
I wasn’t sure how much time passed when he came back, a wet washcloth in his hand.
He slowly ran it over my inner thighs and cleaned me up.
I expected him to get into bed next to me and that be it, but instead he scooped me up bridal style.
I wrapped my arms around his neck and leaned my head against his shoulder.
“Where are we going?” I asked, my voice quiet and distant.
“A bath for my angel, that’s where,” he replied and kissed my forehead. “Ready?” he asked, and I just nodded my head, unsure of exactly what his plan was.
I glanced down as he slowly stepped into the almost full jacuzzi tub.
He sat down on the far side, his back against the edge, and kept me in his arms, my butt in his lap now and his arms still wrapped tightly around me.
I lifted my head and looked around. He’d put bubbles in the tub, and from the smell, some sort of floral oils as well.
“What are we doing?” I asked him.
He chuckled. “I thought it was pretty obvious. We’re taking a bath together.”
I shifted slightly, but his arms tightened around me so I couldn’t leave his lap. I looked up at him, and he was smiling down at me—like he couldn’t imagine being anywhere else but right here, doing this.
“I mean…I guess. I just don’t…” I muttered, my mind trailing off as I tried to remember anyone ever doing anything like this for me.
It seemed so simple, running a bath for someone.
Not even the extra things, like the bubbles and oils, just the bath itself.
Someone taking care of me, truly, taking care of me.
“Little angel? Come back here with me, Aspen,” he whispered, his hand slowly rubbing circles on my back.
I shook my head and looked back at him. “I’m sorry, I’m being stupid. Thank you for…all of it.”
“You’re not being stupid. I also read it’s normal to be emotional after sex like that.
Letting go and trusting your partner to take care of you is a big deal, especially when you’ve had a hard time trusting people in the past.” He leaned down and kissed my shoulder a few times, and then pushed my hair out of the way, grabbed my chin, and pulled my face to look at him.
“You did amazing, angel. So fucking well for me. I just want to take care of you, and right now that involves getting you clean, making sure you’re okay mentally and physically, and us cuddling in bed for the night. ”
He wiped the few tears that had managed to escape my eyes during his speech and gently kissed me. Kissing Rowan always had my inner demons immediately calmer and less intense. In such a short time, he’d become my safe place, and that scared me almost as much as it made me grateful and happy.
I decided all of these thoughts were better left for a time when my brain and body were better connected, and I wasn’t so tired.
I turned, extending my legs out and leaning my back against Rowan’s chest. I felt him relax behind me as he grabbed some sort of fancy-smelling body wash and washed me from head to toe.
I may have even fallen a bit in love as he gently washed my hair and then conditioned it for me.
When we were both cleaned from top to bottom. He got out first, putting on a pair of grey sweatpants that made me contemplate just how sore I was. When he came back, he helped me out and into a fluffy midnight blue towel.
“Go sit on the bed, angel,” he told me. I nodded and walked back out into the bedroom, which now had clean sheets on it.
I sat down on the edge and watched as he came out, a brush and a smaller towel in hand.
He sat behind me and slowly brushed out the knots in my hair, but before I could say anything else, dried it gently with the small towel and then was pulling and tugging it from behind me.
“What are you doing?” I asked hesitantly.
“Braiding,” he replied.
I was silent for a moment as I realized that’s exactly what he was doing. “What…how do you know how to do that?” I asked.
He let out a breathy laugh. “Not how you think, I’m sure, so get your mind out of that path line, little angel.
When I was young and my dad passed away, Payton was only eight years old.
Some days it was hard on Mom, losing the love of her life so suddenly.
So, Oliver, Wyatt, and I did what we could to help her out.
Somehow, we found out I was the most capable of a decent braid on the mornings when Mom needed help getting Payton ready for school and such.
Especially the couple of years she danced. ”
“What about Theo?” I asked, realizing he didn’t say anything about his youngest brother.
“Theo was his own handful, and sometimes it took all of Mom’s energy to get him together.
He was ten when we lost Dad, so old enough to truly notice that life was different immediately, but still not fully old enough to grasp that he truly wasn’t coming back,” Rowan said, the pain clear in his voice.
“I’m sorry. I know losing a parent isn’t easy, no matter how old you are.”
I felt him tie off my braid in a small black hairband, and then he kissed my cheek. “Do you want to talk about it?” he asked.
I shrugged. “Not much to talk about, honestly. I mean, you know already. I lost my dad at eighteen, but honestly, we weren’t ever close.
He was always closer to the bottle than me, so when he finally left, bottle still in hand, it was painful of course.
But I think it was more painful being stuck with the ‘what-ifs’ of it all.
What would life have been like if he hadn’t passed?
Would he have gotten better? Would we have been close at all?
Repaired our relationship? Instead, he was just…
gone and all of those possibilities left with him in his casket. ”
Rowan moved over beside me and took my hand in his. “What about your mom? Did you ever try to find her? Even after your dad passed?”
I shook my head. “She left, so what was the point? I’m sure she’s off somewhere living her life. I don’t want to interrupt whatever that may look like for her. I was in the same town on the same two-block radius for twenty-three years, and she never came back. Why go where I’m not wanted?”
He wrapped his arms around me and squeezed gently. “You’re wanted here, little angel. I know it isn’t the same and it doesn’t fill the hurt in your heart, but you’re wanted here.”
We cuddled up in Rowan's bed and talked for a while longer until I couldn’t keep my eyes open any longer. I fell asleep with his arms around me, and for the first time in what felt like forever, nightmares didn’t plague me.