37. Alina
THIRTY-SEVEN
ALINA
Knowing Chase didn’t sleep with Lindsay is a balm to the wounds of my heart, although it doesn’t change the fact that he put her before me time and time again. Maybe I shouldn’t believe him. After all, it’s easy for someone’s words to be just that. Words. I should know, I’ve been a sucker for Chase’s a million times. But it’s exhausting trying to hold on to the anger after all these years, especially when all I’m really searching for is peace. Plus, he’s not the same boy I once knew. He’s changed, grown. Probably more than I have, to be honest. He’s seeing a therapist . That’s more than I’ve ever done, and Lord knows I could use one.
I called in sick to work on Tuesday, unable to face him after our almost-kiss. I did send him a text asking him not to come to Daddy’s that night, and even though I wasn’t sure he would listen, he did. The real kicker is that I missed him when he wasn’t there. Somehow, he’s wormed his way back into every single piece of me, and I don’t want to fight it anymore.
I’ve decided I’m not going to.
Work isn’t the best place to air all of our dirty laundry, so I’m hoping he’ll come back over to Daddy’s and we can talk after dinner. I haven’t even thought about how I’m going to tell Jax or Becca. Seeing as how Jax still isn’t speaking to me, I figure that’s something I’ll worry about later. I’m a little nervous about their reaction, but it doesn’t really make a difference either way. Chase makes me happy. He did back when we were kids, before things went to crap, and I know deep in my bones he’d make me happy for the rest of my life if I would only let him. It’s like he said…we’re meant to know each other.
The butterflies flop around in my belly as I pull into Tiny Dancers and see Chase’s truck. I search for him when I get inside, but I know he isn’t in the front area. The pull in the air whenever he’s near is missing.
Walking into the office, I stop short. Chase sits in the desk chair, leaned back with his feet up and ankles crossed, dark hair mussed and looking like he doesn’t have a care in the world. My heart skips at the sight of him.
“Hi.” My nervous energy shows itself on my cheeks.
“We missed you here yesterday.” The chair creaks when he stands and walks around the desk, resting against the edge of it and crossing his arms, his muscles flexing and those veins running from his hands and disappearing beneath the sleeves of his shirt. “Missed you last night, too.”
My heart speeds up, beating so hard it’s bound to burst out of my chest. “I just needed some time to think.”
I don’t have to be looking at him to feel the way he’s taking inventory of my body.
“You planning on keeping me away again tonight?”
His voice is low. Raspy, even.
I raise my face to his as I shake my head no. He steps in closer, the tips of his shoes brushing the closed toes of my pumps, his chest grazing against mine with every inhale.
“So, you’ve had enough time to think ?” he murmurs.
My mouth dries as the energy crackles between us. My insides are on fire, the heat between my legs threatening to consume me, and I’m tempted to climb him like a tree right here in this office. Anything to alleviate this ache.
There’s a knock on the door and we jump apart.
“It’s open,” I holler, trying to get a hold of myself.
Benny opens the door and peeks his head in. “Boss? You got a minute? We could use an extra set of hands. Matt just went home sick for the day.”
Chase clears his throat. “Yep, I’ll be right out. Just finishing up with Alina.”
He nods and leaves the door open as he walks away.
Chase is undeterred, stepping back into me as soon as he’s gone.
My hands fly to his chest, fingers caressing the defined muscles before I can stop myself. “Can we talk tonight?”
“We can do anything you want, baby.”
Baby. My heart dances inside my chest, and I can’t stop the way my lips curl up. “Good. I’ll see you tonight, then.”
His dimples come out to play as he gives me a blinding smile, and his calloused hand cups my cheek, causing a shiver to race along my spine. A kiss brushes against my skin, so close to my lips I can taste him. Heat flares from my cheeks down to my toes.
“I’ll see you tonight,” he whispers.
He doesn’t wait for a response, just brushes by me and closes the door on his way out.
I’m nervous the rest of the day. Like, hands sweating, knees knocking, body buzzing nervous. I feel like I’m a teenager again, about to leap into something I know nobody will approve of. Chase and I still have some things to work through—I know that. Hurts like what he caused don’t go away overnight, but I can’t keep holding the sins of a boy against the soul of the man.
He beat me to Daddy’s, like usual. I see his truck as I pull in behind it. Laughter filters through the front door and I smile, happiness spreading through my veins at the thought that Daddy has someone to talk to. It just further cements the fact that moving forward with Chase is the right choice. I want him here. With us. With me .
I walk into the kitchen and stumble over my feet, my stomach dropping to the floor when I realize the laugh didn’t come from Chase.
It came from Eli.
I’m frozen in the doorway taking in the scene.
Chase is at the stove, sautéing something in a pan, while Eli and Daddy sit at the kitchen table. There’s a beer in front of both of them and a pretty strawberry-blond thing sitting next to Eli. They haven’t realized I’m here, and I soak in my long-lost brother. It’s been a long time.
He’s always been a fit guy—basketball keeps you in peak physical condition—but the last time I saw him in person was eight years ago. He’s grown up. There’s a twist in my heart knowing I didn’t get to experience his transition into adulthood. He looks relaxed. His legs are stretched out in front of him, so long they touch the other side of the table, and his hair—the same sandy-blond shade as mine—is longer than he used to keep it. If it wasn’t for his slicked-back city style, I imagine pieces would be flopping on his forehead. He’s tan, probably from the Florida sun, and his smile is so easy, so laid-back, that a bit of anger flares to life in my chest.
Because, of course , he has it easy. He hasn’t been here.
Eli’s eyes are still crinkled from laughter when he sees me in the doorway. “Hey, Lee. About time you got here. Pops and I were about to start in on all of your embarrassing stories.”
“Eli.” I glance over at Chase. His back is to me since he’s at the stove, but he twists around and winks. Clearly, he’s the one cooking dinner. For all of us. This is…strange.
Eli kicks the leg of the chair across from him, making it screech against the tiled floor, and I walk toward it, falling into the seat and staring at him. “I thought y’all weren’t gettin’ here until Friday.”
“We decided to come early. Not excited to see me?” Eli chuckles. Like it’s funny he just showed up. Like it’s no big deal he’s able to sit down and laugh with Daddy as though nothing’s changed.
My nails dig into the tops of my thighs as the resentment builds.
“Just surprised is all.” I nod toward who I’m assuming is his fiancée. “Big city life make you forget your manners, Eli? You plannin’ on makin’ any introductions?”
Eli’s smile drops. The blond reaches across him, sticking her hand out. “I’ve heard a lot about you, Alina. I’m Sarah, this big guy’s woman.” She jerks her elbow into his chest with her words.
I take her hand, smiling at her easygoing nature. She seems nice. “Pleasure’s all mine, Sarah. Welcome to Sugarlake.”
Her sky-blue eyes twinkle against her pale skin as she tucks her long, glossy, straight hair behind her ear. “It’s totally my fault we’re here two days early. I wanted to have time to sightsee before we start nailing down wedding details.”
I stifle the smirk that’s creeping onto my face and look over to see Chase’s shoulders shaking. The fact she thinks she can “sightsee” Sugarlake only shows how little Eli has talked about his hometown.
“Well, I’m sure you’ll have plenty of time to see everything we have to offer.” I lock eyes with Eli. “Speakin’ of weddin’ details, I’m just gonna give y’all Becca’s number so you can call her yourself.”
His shoulders stiffen. “What? I don’t want to do that. Why can’t you just talk to her for me like I asked you to?”
His tone grates on my nerves. “For one thing, Eli, I’m not your dang servant. For another, I did ask her and she wasn’t exactly responsive.” I think back to how weird she got when I brought it up. “What happened with you two, anyway?”
Eli rests his hand on Sarah’s thigh, his eyes hardening. “Nothing.”
I laugh. His accent is barely noticeable after years of being away. “Well, she gets agitated whenever I bring you up. Acted like I was the Devil himself for askin’ her to help. I’m not in the business of tickin’ off my best friend, so like I said…I’ll give you her number.”
Sarah pats the hand on her thigh and smiles at me. “That’d be great, Alina. I have no problem giving her a call and setting something up.”
Eli grimaces.
I let it go for now, not wanting to delve into that conversation with an audience. “How’d y’all get here, anyway?”
“Pops picked us up a couple hours ago,” Eli says.
My head turns sharply toward Daddy. “You drove to the airport to get them?”
“Why wouldn’t I? He’s my boy. If he needs me, then I’ll be there.”
My teeth grind. Of course, he’d be there for Eli. Even though I’m the only one who’s been here for him. “So you knew they were comin’ in today and didn’t tell me?”
He shrugs and necks his beer. I wonder how many he had before he left to pick them up. Too many to be on the road, that’s for sure.
I glance at my lap, trying to stem the tears that want to bubble up. Eli’s eyes bounce between us, the wrinkle between his brows deepening.
His stare continues to burn all through dinner, because Daddy doesn’t put his best foot forward for company. Try as he might, the drink always wins the battle. By the time we’re having coffee and dessert, he’s switched to whiskey and is well on his way past coherent.
“You want to come with us tomorrow, Lee? Help me show Sarah the town?” Eli asks.
I choke on my coffee, surprised he’s inviting me, and irritated he thinks we can just hang out like no time has passed.
“I have to work.”
He smacks his forehead. “Right. It’s so strange to see you grown. Sometimes I forget.”
“Maybe it wouldn’t be so strange if you’d been around for all the years in between.” My face muscles burn from the effort of keeping my smile in place.
“Alina. Mind your manners. We got…we got company.” Daddy’s voice is loud but slurred. The whiskey makes his tongue thick and his mind sluggish.
Chase shifts in his seat and I scoff. “I’m just speakin’ truth, Daddy.”
Eli sighs. “You don’t know what you’re talking about, Alina.”
My eyebrows raise. “Oh, no? Why don’t you enlighten me then, big head?”
“ Don’t call me that,” he snaps. “Don’t you ever fucking call me that.”
My brows shoot to my hairline.
He runs a hand over his face and continues, “I would have if you had ever taken the time to ask.”
My mouth parts, surprise rendering me speechless at his words. I ask… Don’t I?
“Your mama. She would be disappointed in you, girl.” Daddy points his finger at me, the usual sneer on his face.
The table falls silent.
Chase’s chair scratches against the floor and he comes around to stand behind me, squeezing my shoulders. “Craig, with all due respect, it’s not Alina that Mrs. Carson would be disappointed in right now.”
Daddy’s eyes flare and he slams his coffee cup on the table. “You think you can speak to me that way just ’cause I been lettin’ you… You’ve been…playin’ house here with my girl?”
Chase doesn’t back down. “I think I’ve made it clear that you disrespecting your daughter won’t ever be something I’ll tolerate, regardless of where we are.”
Daddy raises out of his chair, pointing at Chase. He wobbles, unsteady on his feet, and has to catch himself on the edge of the table.
“Pops, you okay?” Eli is half standing, his eyes volleying between the three of us.
Sarah sits next to him, her mouth gaping open. Welcome to the family.
“Of course he’s not okay. He’s never okay,” I spit, glaring at him. “You would know that if you had spent more than ten minutes here in the past eight years.”
“Sis—”
“Don’t you ‘sis,’ me, Eli.”
“I’m fine, damnit!” Daddy’s voice roars, cutting off the argument and blanketing the room. “And I’m a goddamn adult. I’m the parent, and this—this is my house.” He points to Chase and me. “You two, go on…get. I don’t want you here.”
“Pops,” Eli whooshes out.
Tears fill my eyes, but I straighten my shoulders and raise my chin. “I don’t need this anyway.” I look at Eli. “Have fun catchin’ up on your missed years with Daddy. I’m sure he and this town will be thrilled to have you back. Sarah, it was nice to meet you. I’m so sorry you had to see this.” I stand and face Chase. “Come on, let’s go for a drive.”
“Anywhere you want to go, baby.” He slides his hand down my arm, tangling our fingers, leading me out the door. Away from my dysfunctional family.
I’ll deal with them tomorrow.
Tonight, I think I’d like to hang out at the lake with the boy who’s always been bigger than the stars.