27. Lily
TWENTY-SEVEN
LILY
Moving from table to table hurts—the most delicious type of throb, the kind that reminds me of who it was that put the ache there in the first place. It’s been three days, since that night with Alex, and still, my body pulls and pinches, the whisper of his touch in every twinge.
I would be lying if I said I didn’t love it.
Somewhere along the way, despite my intention to not let it happen, I got attached. It happened before the sex, stupidly letting myself sink into the comfort of seeing him in the mornings and again when I got off work at night.
Now that things have gone back to “normal,” I’m not quite sure what to do with myself. He comes into the diner most days, sitting in his signature corner booth, a notepad or his worn copy of The Art of War in his ring-covered hands. The ones that glide over my body and leave imprints on my skin.
But today he wasn’t here, and I’m lost in the worry that creeps through my psyche, wondering where he is and what he’s doing. If he’ll be back.
“Lily.”
I jump at the sound of my manager’s voice, spilling a bit of the salt that I’m pouring into the shaker. My hand shoots to my chest. “Jesus, Johnny, you scared me.”
He grins. “You’ve been a little out of it today. You okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine.” I wave him off. “Today was busier than usual, right?”
“Yeah, I don’t know what was up with that, but I’m fucking tired as hell.”
I nod in agreement, scooping up the salt, the grains tickling the palm of my hand.
“Listen, you still got the keys to lock up?” Johnny asks, scratching at the hair behind his head.
I lift a brow. “Yeah, why? You leaving?”
He smiles, his hand gripping the back of his neck as he glances at the floor. “Yeah, I’ve got some places to be if you’re all right with closing.”
I bob my head even though the idea of being alone makes me uneasy. But Johnny is notorious for pawning off his duties to whichever server is the closer, and I’m a big girl. I’m no stranger to things that go bump in the night.
It’s twenty minutes later when I finally finish, grabbing the drawer from the cash register and locking it up in the safe for Johnny to balance in the morning. Closing the office door, I walk through the kitchen, making my way to the back exit. I’m almost there when I feel it.
The heat at my back.
I spin around, my eyes straining through the dark, but there’s nothing there other than the sudden chill running through me. Turning toward the door, I start to move again when I hear another noise, my heart kicking up a notch in my chest, adrenaline pumping through my veins.
Fucking Johnny, leaving me here alone.
My fight-or-flight response kicks in, the deepest recesses of my mind gaping wide like an open wound, pouring fear into my veins. Visions of who it could be run through my mind until suddenly, I’m absolutely fucking terrified that it’s him . That somehow, despite me disappearing four years ago, despite me never reaching out to anyone from my past, he’s found me.
And if he’s found me, he’s found Chase .
Pure and icy dread freezes me in place, my worst nightmares playing out like a preview in my head. But as soon as I feel a body press against my back, my muscles ease, breath bursting from my lungs in relief because I know it isn’t him.
I can feel the difference.
“Stupid of you to be all alone in a place like this.” Alex’s voice is a rumble, vibrating through my bones, mixing with the adrenaline that’s still flooding through my system.
“Al—”
His calloused palm smacks over my mouth, muffling my words. The sting radiating through the bottom of my cheeks. His body presses farther into me. “Shut up.”
My pussy throbs, fingers trembling from leftover fear as they dig into my thighs.
“You don’t get to speak unless it’s to ask for my cock in your mouth, do you understand?”
I nod, my chest pulling tight.
His free hand wraps around my waist and skims up the middle of my chest, my stomach tightening in anticipation. “You’ve been teasing me for days . I’ve been fucking dreaming about these tits.” His grasp is rough as he squeezes a breast in his palm, sending a shot of arousal spiking through my middle.
“Ale—” I mumble against his hand.
His fingers tighten against my jaw. “I didn’t come back here for your mouth. I came back here for this.” His touch rustles the fabric of my shirt against my skin, his hand gliding from my chest, over my stomach, and down between my legs, cupping my pussy through my black pants.
His other palm moves from my mouth, resting against the front of my throat.
“Please,” I whisper, my heart rate accelerating when he kicks my ankle, making my knee jerk from its position until my legs spread.
“Put your hands against the fridge.”
I shake my head, anticipation thrumming through my insides until my pulse throbs in time to the arousal that’s seeping through my veins. “No.”
He chuckles against my ear, low and raspy, before his large frame pushes into mine, pressing me against the cool metal of the stainless steel. I try to move, but he has me pinned—completely immobile. I suck in a gasp, biting back the moan that tries to slip free at the thought of me not being able to stop him. Of him doing whatever he wants with me, in the middle of the diner, with or without my permission.
His breath is hot on my skin as he leans in, whispering in my ear. “Is there anyone else here?”
There’s a squeeze on my hip, his grip almost bruising in its intensity. Excitement filters through me.
“Yes,” I say. “Someone’s in the back office.”
“You filthy little liar,” he tsks. “I know you’re alone. I waited outside until every last person left. And then I watched you from across the street, prancing around in these little pants, this tight-as-fuck shirt.” He thrusts into me, his erection pressing against my ass. I bite my cheek to hold in the moan.
“You really think having someone here would stop me?” he rasps, his fingers working the button of my pants open and shoving them off my hips. “I’d fuck you in a room full of people, forcing you to look them in the eyes as you come around my cock.”
I thrash against his hold, my hands flinging behind me, fingernails digging into any piece of him I can reach. He sucks in a breath, and then my wrists are caught in his grasp, my arms twisted behind my back and locked in place by his bruising grip.
“Go ahead,” he sings into my ear, his hand trailing down my stomach and slipping underneath my panties, stroking my swollen clit. “Try to get away. I like it when you fight.”
My heart kicks against my ribs, and I rear my head back, throwing my entire body weight into the motion. But it’s useless because he doesn’t even budge. My five-foot-two frame is nothing compared to his stature. His size alone incapacitates me.
He tightens his grip on my wrists, lips skimming across my collarbone before his teeth sink into my skin, a rush of heat shooting through me like a gunshot.
I gasp at the harsh sting. Is he marking me?
“Please, oh my God,” I cry.
“God can’t hear you.” There’s a clink of a belt buckle. “And I’m not listening.”
A sudden burn blazes across my hips as he rips my panties down the middle and shoves himself so deep inside me I scream out.
“Jesus, fuck ,” he groans, his grip becoming loose on my arms. Not that it matters. I’m too lost in delirious pleasure as it scratches along my skin. I like being under his control.
He starts a punishing pace, his cock sliding easily, because despite my resistance and my fake cries of no, my pussy is soaking, the juices from his abuse dripping down my legs.
My clit throbs as I push back against him, acting like I don’t want him anywhere near me. It only makes him hold me tighter, pistoning his hips against my backside, my breasts smashed against the unforgiving metal of the refrigerator.
He releases my wrists, tingles rushing through my fingers as the blood flows back into them, and he wraps his arms around my middle, crushing our bodies together. My hands dig into his forearms, no longer fighting as I give into the shakes of my body, pleasure spiraling through me. Soft moans slip from my mouth with every thrust, his dick hitting so deep I swear I feel it bruising my womb.
“What happened?” he rumbles in my ear. “No more crying? No more screams for help?” He slips out of me and I bite my lip from the loss, my body buzzing so hard I feel like I’m floating.
His hand cups my jaw, twisting my face to his. “Say no again. Lie to me. Give me a reason to palm that ass until it breaks.”
He spins me around, forcing the breath from my lungs at the sudden movement, and slams me on top of the salad bar countertop, my elbows smashing into the stainless steel. I swallow down a cry, the ache radiating up my arm, even as my pussy throbs from the sting.
The bite of pain is a reprieve from the fog that usually descends.
That, combined with the sensation of him pressed against me, pinning my body in place while he wraps my hair around his fist, has me spiraling so fast it’s blinding.
And then he’s sliding back inside of me, thrusting his cock so deep, his balls slap against my clit. The roots of my hair pull until they burn, wrapped around his fist, his other hand squeezing my shoulder, using my body as leverage to fuck me raw.
Heat coils deep in my gut, spiraling upward, spreading through my insides and reaching every single limb until even my fingertips sizzle.
The pressure on my shoulder eases, and suddenly there’s a sharp sting followed by warmth, spreading across my ass cheek, making my pussy spasm around him.
Smack.
I gasp, my stomach clenching as he spanks me.
“You dirty fucking slut.”
Smack.
It’s not the first time I’ve been called a slut. I’ve always been disgusted with the word, but the way he says it, like he’s picked it out of the dirt and made it sparkle just for him, sends me reeling. Like he’s taken away the degradation and given me the power.
Because I know that all I have to say is one word and everything will stop.
I’m in control.
“I’m going to come inside you,” he grunts against the skin of my neck. “Make you feel me for days, so you’re reminded with every breath who you belong to.”
My eyes roll back at his filthy words, my core contracting at the thought of him coming undone inside of me, because of me, and that’s all it takes. I explode into a thousand pieces, my body shaking violently, my throat being rubbed raw from my scream as I collapse against the cold metal of the kitchen counter. Vaguely, I’m aware of a groan behind me, his cock pulsing as he presses as far into me as he can get.
When I come back to myself, it’s to the feel of soft kisses being laid up and down my spine. I lay still, waiting for the shame to reach up and grip me in its claws. I know it’s on the way—it never leaves me completely.
But when you spend years with your body being used a certain way, you become conditioned.
I don’t know any other way to be.
I’m sick.
I’m broken.
And I’m fucking disturbed.
But Alex sees those pieces and nurtures them like they’re worthy. Like they’re his. And while I know I’ll never be whole again, for the first time, I wonder if it’s possible to fall in love with jagged edges.
“God, Lily, you’re fucking incredible. What do you need, baby? Are you thirsty? Did I hurt you?” His voice brings me back to the present, and I straighten, my body sore and satiated, reveling in the feel of being worked over by him.
I look around, realizing we’ll need to sanitize the area before we can leave, but feeling so vulnerable in the moment that I don’t want to put forth the effort. What I really want is to have him hold me for the rest of the night, to keep the nightmares at bay and remind me that what we just did doesn’t make me less of a person.
I bite back the emotion that’s surging up my throat.
“We need to clean this place back up.” Spinning around, I look into his eyes. “And hi, by the way.”
His eyes sparkle as he leans in, pressing his lips to mine. “Hi, little bird.”
He kisses me again, his tongue twisting with mine until I feel the tangle in my heart. Backing away with a wink, he runs a hand through his hair. “Okay, now where’s the cleaning shit? Let’s do this and then go get our boy.”
Our boy.
Fireworks dance through me like the Fourth of July, and while the feeling is scary, the sparks making my insides jump with nerves, the view is too beautiful to step away.
So I’ll stand in their shower and risk getting burned.