23. Henry
Ispent most of the morning pacing back and forth across my hotel room. My mind swung between all the possibilities. But deep down, I knew I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t see Roxie again. I needed to know if her goodbye had been final. And if it was, I needed to know why.
I kept telling myself over and over that it had been the alcohol talking last night. We had something special. I felt it in my heart.
The second the clock ticked to 11:30, I gathered the small bag of groceries I’d bought that morning and headed down to the lobby. A cab arrived within minutes, and as the driver wove in and out of the traffic, my heart thundered greater with each passing mile.
I thanked the driver as he pulled up outside Fingal Holiday Park and paid him more than enough to cover the fare. Walking through the front gates, I contemplated asking the admin people which site belonged to Roxie, but I realized it would be a bit odd. Especially since I didn’t even know her surname. I huffed and made a mental note to introduce myself properly today.
I bypassed the admin block and headed into the caravan park.
I paused at the first caravan. “Roxie,” I called out.
“Not here, buddy. You must have the wrong one.” The voice came from inside the annex, but nobody came out.
“Okay, thank you.”
I continued up the street, popping my head into each campsite and asking for Roxie. My seventh request got the answer I wanted.
“She’s up there.” A young boy of about fifteen or sixteen, whose face was spotted with a serious case of acne, pointed up the street. “See the one with that yellow thing on the rope.”
“Okay, great, thank you.”
I picked up my pace and practically trotted to the van. I didn’t even pause at the entrance. “Roxie,” I called.
A woman stepped from the shadow. She had long dark hair and long dark lashes and looked nothing like Roxie. “Who’s asking?” She put her hands on her hips.
I put the grocery bag down. “Hi, you must be Priscilla. I’m Henry. Is Roxie here?”
“No.” She barked her answer, and a trickle of dread inched up my spine.
“Oh, well, this is a bit awkward. She invited me over for a barbeque lunch.”
Annoyance flashed in her eyes. “I assume that was before that party.”
I forced down a sickening feeling. “Please. I need to see her.”
She rolled her eyes. “Look, Henry, you had your fun. But Roxie has been through enough; she doesn’t need another man ruining her life.”
“We have something special. I love your sister--”
“Love! How can it be love? You don’t even know her.”
“I know I love her, and I know she felt something too.”
She scoffed. “Oh, she felt it at the party, that’s for sure.”
Rage poisoned my veins. “Look, Carmen pinched my butt. I didn’t encourage it, and I sure as hell didn’t want it. That woman is a bitch, and I need to explain it to Roxie. Please, where is she?”
Her jaw clenched, and she shook her head. “She’s really hurting right now.”
“I know, that’s why I’m here.” My throat tightened as I glanced around, hoping to see Roxie. “I can’t leave like this.”
“Yes, you can.” She clenched her jaw. “She wants to end this now before it is too late. What will happen in five years or ten years? Try twenty. You’ll be an old man. And what will Roxie be? I’ll tell you what. She’ll be your caretaker. Is that what you want? A caretaker?”
“No, of course not.”
“Well, leave her be. She’s already had one man who held her back because of their age gap. She doesn’t need that again. Let her find a man who she can grow old with. Not a man who’s already old.”
Her words cut deep, right into my soul.
“Think about it, Henry. Does Roxie need grandkids in her life? Or should she have cocktails on the beach and dancing in nightclubs? Which one will you offer?”
She glared at me with her piercing dark eyes. “It was hard enough for her to walk away last night. Don’t make her do it again.”
She was right. Roxie was in her prime; I was nearing the end. I couldn’t do that to her. For Roxie’s sake, I had to walk away.
A heavy weight settled on my heart as I placed the grocery bag down. “It was lovely to meet you.” I turned on my heel, and as I walked away, I thought I heard Priscilla gasp.
But I didn’t look back; I kept on walking and the whole time I prayed Roxie didn’t materialize out of somewhere because if I saw her now, I wasn’t sure I could break away a second time.
My heart was drowning in grief, and my feet were lead weights that I had to force to move. It took an eternity to reach the front gate, but I didn’t stop there. The desolate road to the caravan park was like a long black stain, flanked by gnarly trees that had battled a lifetime of weather to survive.
It seemed like the environment was making a mockery of my life.
When I pulled my phone from my pocket to call a taxi, I realized Roxie and I had never even exchanged phone numbers.
And then it hit me; we’d known each other for just ten days.
Ten days!
It seemed like a lifetime.
I dialed the taxi and could hardly speak as I requested a pickup. When I finished the call, I continued walking up the road.
With each heavy step, I realized what a fool I’d been. A stupid old fool.
I’d fallen in lust. Of course, a young, vibrant woman like Roxie wouldn’t fall for a man like me.
I wanted to scream at my stupidity.
And that’s what I did. I screamed until my lungs hurt. Surrounded by nothing but bushes and bitumen, nobody heard my torment. Nobody heard my heart crumbling, either. I was alone.
And that was the way I was destined to be.
I waved at the approaching taxi, and the car paused to do a U-turn to collect me.
After I instructed the driver on the destination, I eased back into the seat.
As the trees whizzed by in an indecipherable blur, I knew I’d never see Roxie again.
Mile after mile tore my soul to shreds.