24. Roxie
Three months later.
I stepped back from the mannequin to admire my handiwork. All morning, I’d been trying to perfect the bodice on my latest costume, but it still wasn’t right. The rage that had been burning inside me hit tipping point.
I dug my fingers into the fabric and tore the carefully crafted piece off the front panel. But the entire left side of the bodice came away, and riding that fury, I yanked the whole thing off and tossed it to the floor. I grabbed the mannequin and bowled it over too.
As I stared at the upturned body, no tears came. I was sick of crying. Sick of wallowing in my own self-pity. That’s what my life had come to...wallowing in self-pity.
Oh, it wasn’t that I didn’t deserve to be pitied. God, no! I couldn’t imagine there would be too many women who, at forty-two, discovered that their whole life was a lie.
I hadn’t spoken to my mother or my father since I’d left their home in tears on the first day of the year. Although I knew Priscilla had, my sister was on a mission to find our long-lost sister.
I couldn’t concentrate on that, though. I couldn’t concentrate on anything. Every single waking thought was on Henry. I could still recall every moment with him. I could still feel his hands on my body. And I could still smell his divine scent.
But I could never forgive him for not saying goodbye.
When he was meant to come for our barbeque lunch, I’d waited for him at our special spot for hours, but he never came. My gut wrenched every time I thought of our discussion upstairs in Nicholas’ home, and although I’d had a few drinks, I was fairly certain I hadn’t said anything powerful enough to scare him off.
Yet I must have.
It was the only explanation for why he didn’t show up.
I never pictured Henry as a guy who’d walk away without finishing things properly. But maybe Priscilla was right. He got what he wanted...hot, steamy sex.
I pulled the mannequin upright and then strolled into my kitchen. I plucked a wine bottle from the fridge and filled a glass to the brim. It was only three in the afternoon, but I didn’t care. I didn’t have anything going on tonight other than a date with a store-bought lasagna that was yet to go in the oven.
I sipped my wine and slipped onto a bar stool, the same bar stool Henry had sat in. I ran my hand over the counter and could vividly recall what he made my body do in that very spot.
I didn’t regret the sex. Not one bit.
He’d introduced me to a whole new world of passion, and I hoped that I would one day find a man who would make my body do those wonderful things again.
My phone pinged, and I dragged it over. It was a text message from Priscilla asking if I was home.
I contemplated being sarcastic, but in the end, I typed a simple yes in reply.
It pinged again, and the message on the screen said that Priscilla would be over in ten minutes.
I slumped on my stool. I didn’t want to see my sister.
It used to amaze me how different we were. But now that I knew we had different fathers, it all made sense. It also explained why I never felt a physical connection with my father and probably why we didn’t speak to each other much.
However, when I did think of my real father, I felt physically ill. I despised that man and had done so for a very long time. And when it came to Jed, I couldn’t bear to think of him and what we’d done. It sickened me to my very core to know I’d had sex with my half-brother.
It didn’t matter that neither of us knew it at the time.
A fact was a fact, and what we did could never be undone.
Ever since I’d found out that Jed and I were related, I’d wondered if aborting that baby had been the right thing to do. Genetic testing or something would have eventually brought the incest to light. Then what would have happened? I would’ve lived a life of condemnation. And I would have deserved it.
But what about my innocent baby?
The front door opened, saving me from more atrocious thoughts, and I slipped off my chair to greet my sister.
“Hey.” Priscilla shoved the door shut and bounded into the room.
“Hey, sis.” We wrapped each other in a hug.
“I found her.” Priscilla plonked a pink folder on the kitchen counter.
“Who?” I frowned.
“Our sister.”
“What?”
“Yep, and you won’t believe this, she lives in Brisbane. All this time, we’ve had a sister living just forty minutes away.” Priscilla went to my fridge, helped herself to a wine, and spun to me with a huge grin on her face.
“Are you sure?”
“One hundred percent. Take a look.”
I flipped open the folder, and a gasp fell from my lips at the photograph at the top. It was like looking at a photo of myself.
“Exactly. Now, don’t try to tell me that she’s not your sister.”
“Does she know about us?”
“Not yet. The adoption agency needs to get in touch with her first and see if she wants to know her true family. Apparently, not everyone does.”
My thoughts went to Father Wilkins, my real father. “I wish I didn’t know.”
Priscilla scrunched up her face. “Oh God, I’m sorry. You’re right.”
I took a large gulp of wine and tried to shove Father Wilkins from my brain. It wasn’t just that he was my father that was the issue. It was his arrogance to preach his honesty and righteousness at church while he was living a lie.
“Hey, what’re you up to on Saturday night?”
I inwardly cringed. Priscilla had been working overtime to find men to go on dates with me, and I was growing tired of the pressure. “Why?”
“There’s this waiter at the Italian restaurant on Stanley?—”
“Stop right there.” I held up my hand. “The answer’s no.”
“It’s been three months, and you’ve barely left the house. When are you going to get over Henry?”
“I’m not ready yet.”
“Oh, come on. He’s probably had a dozen women pinch his butt since he walked out on you.”
My heart stammered, and I lowered my glass. I glared at my sister, and when the blood drained from Priscilla’s face, a chill flashed up my spine. “I never told you about that.”
“What?” Priscilla waggled her head, implying nonchalance, but her white-knuckled grip on her glass showed her unease.
I stood, angry now. “I never told you about that woman pinching Henry’s butt.”
“Yes...yes, you did.”
“I fucking did not.” I reached across the counter and clutched Priscilla’s wrist. “How do you know?”
Priscilla’s eyes were wide, and I could tell she was debating her response. “Don’t you dare lie to me!”
Her eyes nearly bounced out of their sockets, and I knew I’d hit a nerve. “Okay, if you must know, he came to the caravan.”
“When?” I snapped.
“The day after New Year, he came for the barbeque lunch.”
He did remember!
“What the hell did you say to him?”
“Nothing.”
“Fucking bullshit. Tell me!”
Priscilla rolled her eyes. “I told him the truth, okay? He’s too old for you.”
I wanted to lunge at my sister and rip her throat out. But I calmed my rage and glared at her. “How dare you? You have no fucking idea what’s best for me. Or what I’ve been through. You live in a god-damned bubble, living your perfect little world with your perfect husband and three perfect kids. You’ve never been dragged through hell!”
“Calm down, Rox. I just want you to be happy.”
“I was fucking happy.”
“Sis, please just listen.”
Pure, driven rage rooted me to the ground. All this time, I’d been driving my anger at Henry. It should’ve been directed at my own sister.
“When will people stop messing with my fucking life?” I grabbed my bag and headed for the door.
“Where’re you going?”
“To find Henry.”
“Rox. Don’t go!”
I blocked out her pleading, jumped into my car, and started the engine. I stomped on the gas, and my tires squealed as I reversed out of my driveway like a lunatic. Halfway down the street, I realized I had no idea where I was going.
When I reached the next street, I realized I didn’t even know Henry’s surname or his phone number. “Shit!” I slammed my hand onto the steering wheel, and the horn blared for a good ten seconds. Three women in perfect exercise outfits, pushing perfectly decorated strollers, glanced my way.
“Yeah bitches, look at me, I don’t fucking care.”
I slammed the horn again and screamed at the top of my voice as I careened onto the on-ramp for the freeway.
I still had no idea where I was going; I just had to get away. My phone rang over and over, but I ignored it. Priscilla was the only person who ever rang, and I had no intention of speaking to her now. Maybe ever.
“Think, Roxie. Think!”
I knew Henry lived in Sydney and that he was an ear, nose, and throat specialist. But Sydney was huge, and I didn’t know what suburb he lived or worked in. God, how can I be in love with a man who I know so little about?
There was no answer to that, except that I was in love
One hundred percent, head over heels, freaking in love. And no matter what, I had to know if he felt the same.
I snapped my fingers. “Nicholas.”
I drove down the first exit ramp I came to and pulled to the nearest available curb. Using my phone, it took me a full ten minutes to figure out how to use Google to find the address for Paradise Waters. It took another ten minutes to figure out how to put that address into my GPS.
As soon as the lady on the GPS started talking, I rammed my foot onto the gas pedal again.
A short time later, I turned into Nicholas’ road so fast the tires screeched again. At the end of the road, I slammed on my brakes at the boom gate. The guard stepped out of his hut, but it wasn’t the same man who’d been working the night of the party.
I opened my window and offered him what I hoped was a glorious smile. “Hi, I’m Roxie. I was hoping to see Nicholas.”
“Nicholas who?”
“Oh, ummm.” Shit. “He lives at the cul-de-sac at the end of the street. I went to his New Year’s Eve party.”
“Do you have an invitation today, Ma’am?”
“No, I...I only need to see him for one minute.” I held up my index finger. “Just one.”
He shook his head. “I’m sorry, Ma’am.”
“It’s just one minute. Come on, I’m not going to rob him or anything.”
“Sorry, Ma’am.”
“Jesus! Do I look like a fucking stalker?”
He drew his lips to a thin line and stepped back.
“Shit!” I clenched my jaw.
“You’ll need to move along, Ma’am.”
“I’ll give you fucking Ma’am.” I gave him the finger and reversed out of the gated community.
My chest squeezed as I pulled against the curb. “Think!”
An idea hit me that was totally insane. But I was going to do it anyway. After ten minutes of googling and programming the GPS, I put my foot on the gas and gave the security guard the finger for a second time as I drove away.
Twenty minutes later, I parked the car on a side street and sucked in a couple of huge breaths in an attempt to calm my thumping heart. I grabbed my bag, climbed out of the car, and strode toward the Hot Horizon Hotel.
At the top of the stairs, the lobby doors opened, and as I crossed the marble expanse, I prayed that the pretty brunette behind the counter was Jane, Henry’s ex-girlfriend.
“Hello, welcome to the Hot Horizon Hotel, how can I help you?” The woman smiled and when I glanced at her name badge, I just about crumbled with relief.
“Hi Jane, please...I don’t want you to think I’m a crazy stalker or anything, but my name is Roxie, and well...I need your help.” I spoke a million miles an hour.
Jane frowned. “Okay.”
“I met this guy, and his name is Henry and...” I choked up. I couldn’t speak past the lump in my throat.
“Hey, don’t cry. Come on, let’s go into the bar for a sec.”
I swallowed back the lump in my throat and walked beside Jane into the Triple H Bar. Jane indicated for me to sit and then turned to the barman. “Hey, Dean, can we have a couple of waters here?” She turned to me. “Unless you want something heavier.”
“No, thank you, water is perfect.” I couldn’t believe how lovely Jane was treating me. But then I realized that if Henry had liked her as much as he did, then of course she was lovely.
“Now, you were asking me about Henry.” Jane’s smile was stunning.
I nodded, and the second the glass of water hit the table, I took a huge gulp. “I met Henry a couple of days before Christmas.”
“I know, Roxie, he told me all about you.”
“What? When?” My heart skipped a beat. Henry hadn’t told me they were still in touch.
“I bumped into him at the shopping center on New Year’s Eve. He was trying to buy an outfit for the party that night but couldn’t decide what to wear.”
I wanted to slap myself for thinking rotten thoughts.
“I’d never seen him so flustered.” Jane chuckled. “I told him to wear purple. Did he?”
I pictured the last time I’d seen him and how stunning he’d looked. “It was an incredible plum color.”
“Hmmm, he would have looked good in that.”
“Oh, he did.” It was so surreal to be talking to Henry’s ex-girlfriend. Yet she seemed so comfortable about it.
“Henry told me all about you.”
I blinked. “He did?”
“Yep, he told me about you hiding in that tree.”
“Oh god.” I rolled my eyes.
“It’s funny.”
“It’s embarrassing.”
“He seemed to like it.” She paused and sipped her water. “He seemed to like you. A lot.”
“Really?” I wanted to ask so much more, but my breath caught in my throat.
Jane nodded. “Like I said, totally flustered. He couldn’t stop talking about you.” She frowned. “So what happened?”
“My stupid meddling sister.”
“Oh, I don’t have one of those, so I can’t relate.”
“You’re lucky.” I told Jane about the party, and it felt so good to be telling someone who seemed to understand that I even told Jane about the heated discussion in Nicholas’ first-floor foyer. I carried on with what my sister did and how I only found out an hour ago that Henry had indeed come looking for me.
“I need to see him, but...” I let out an embarrassed chuckle. “I don’t even know his surname, or phone number, or where he lives.”
“It’s Addison. Henry Addison.”
“Oh, please, do you know his address?”
“Come on.” Jane led me back to the counter, and while I leaned against it, Jane went around the other side and typed into the computer. She then pulled a notepad aside and wrote something down.
She handed the note over. “Here’s his address. Tell him Jane sent you. He’ll get a chuckle out of that.”
“Thank you. Thank you. You’re so sweet.”
“Go get him, Roxie, he’s worth fighting for.”
“Oh, I know.”
My heart was singing as I ran out of the double glass doors and back to my car. I jumped in, and this time I knew exactly where I was going. The airport. I stomped on the gas.
Only two remaining flights for Sydney were scheduled for that day and I bought a ticket for the first one. The price was ridiculously expensive at about three times the usual fare. But I didn’t care.
I spent the hour prior to the flight purchasing new lingerie from Victoria’s Secret and a new dress from the one and only shop that didn’t sell swimwear. I also sampled the huge range of perfume and actually found one I liked enough to spray onto my wrists. In the bathroom, I wet my hair and gave it a blast with the air dryer. Nobody looked at me like I was weird.
By the time I was seated in the aisle seat on the plane, I was exhausted, but I used the one-hour flight to analyze what the hell I was doing.
In one day, I’d gone from slapping around my mannequin to seeing the first photograph of a long-lost sister to flying six hundred miles to find out if a man I’d known for just ten days actually loved me.
I began to giggle. The giggle became full-blown laughter, with tears streaming down my face, and soon, the people around me were laughing with me. It felt so damn good. I didn’t elaborate on my hysterics, and not a single person asked.
But my hysterics did a complete about-face as I began to ponder what Henry had been doing for the last three months. The idea that he may have found somebody else had me gripping the arm of my chair until my fingernail hurt.
I shoved that shitty thought aside and tried to focus on the positives.
The biggest positive would be seeing him again. My heart ached to see his lovely eyes and the way they looked at me. Henry had a way of making me feel like I was the only woman on the planet.
Yet even with those glorious thoughts, I tried to keep a level head.
What Henry and I had over the ten days of Christmas was a whirlwind, highly passionate relationship. What I was asking for now was a hell of a lot more than that.
I wanted commitment.
I wanted to go to bed with a man at my side and wake up in his arms. I wanted fun and passion, lust and love. I wanted Henry.
Oh God. We had a hell of a lot to talk about if I was to get my wish.
By the time the taxi pulled up outside Henry’s house, I was still flustered. I stood on his driveway, and the urge to run away was just as strong as my urge to run to his door and fling myself at him.
As I inhaled a few very shaky breaths, I studied his home.
It was so very normal. For some reason, I’d expected his house to be much bigger. It wasn’t the grand mansion in dire need of a few homely comforts that I’d pictured.
Oh crap.I put Henry in the same category as his friends purely by his association with them. I wanted to slap myself for my stupidity.
The time had come to put the crazy emotional turmoil to rest. I quickly chewed a breath mint, adjusted my boobs in my new bra, and strode up his front path.
I knocked on the door and held my breath as I counted the seconds. At nine, the door opened, and there was Henry.
His jaw dropped. His eyes lit up. “Roxie.” My name whispered off his lips as he stepped forward. He clutched me to his body, and when our lips met, the answers to all my crazy questions were answered.