Chapter Nineteen
He couldn’t find any more excuse to put it off, so it was time. Ethan pulled up the LINE app on his phone and braced himself. It was eight at night in New York, so it was nine the next morning in Taipei. If he knew his mother, Ping Mei had been up for hours, so it was the perfect time to call. Sure enough, the ringing had barely started when she accepted the video call.
“Wei?”
“Hello, Ma,” he said in his most respectful tone.
“You don’t have work today?”
“No, I have the day off.”
“Ah so that’s why you called me. I never hear from you otherwise. Are you eating? Sleeping? Why do you have such dark circles under your eyes?”
“I worked about eighty hours this past week. That may explain it.”
Ping Mei frowned. “You work too hard. And you’re too thin. You need to take better care of yourself.”
“I’m doing my best.”
But apparently that wasn’t enough to assuage his mother. “You need to find a better work-life balance. How are you going to find a nice girl to marry? These days, girls are modern and expect you to pull your weight at home, too. You’ll have no energy for that, and no one wants a husband they never see.”
Not if the girl in question was in the same line of work and understood the insane hours and pressure that came with the job. And, Ethan reminded himself, Bethany had made it abundantly clear she didn’t picture a future with him and considered San Francisco a mere physical fling. What a fool he’d been thinking he could change her mind. And doubly a fool because he still couldn’t get her out of his mind.
He’d heard that the grieving process wasn’t linear, and progress could be rough going but really, this was beyond the pale. He seemed to be stuck on depression and denial. The sooner he got to acceptance, the better.
“I don’t think we need to worry about that right now,” he murmured.
“You’re not getting any younger,” Ping Mei reminded him. “I’ve been making a list of girls to introduce you to once you come home. Tsang Tai Tai’s niece graduated two years ago from the National University. She’s graduated with honors in finance, and has a job at CTBC Bank. She’s thinking about going back to school to get her MBA. Tsang Tai Tai did warn me about something though.” Now his mother’s voice lowered to a hushed, scandalous whisper. “She has a tattoo. It happened when she was eighteen and young and stupid. But on her shoulder so no one sees it at work. What is wrong with kids these days?” Ping Mei let out a gusty sigh.
“You don’t need to set me up with anyone,” Ethan blurted out, desperate to pull off the Band-Aid.
“Of course I do. It’s my job. Sons are always so clueless about these things. Just leave it up to me. I’ll find you the perfect girl who will suit you and fit in with our family.”
“That is what I am trying to tell you. I want to stay and work here in New York. I’m not going back to Taipei.”
After all the weeks of stress and worry, it was actually freeing to finally say it. He felt so much lighter and now was wishing he’d had the courage to do this weeks ago.
Bethany was right. So much better to tell the truth—putting it off made things so much worse.
Then Ethan saw the look on his mother’s face and swallowed hard. Maybe not. It was time to brace himself.
“What nonsense is this?” Ping Mei demanded. “Of course you’re coming home.”
“That’s the thing, Ma. This is my home now. New York is where I belong. I have a job I love and friends here. I’ve built a life here.”
“What kind of life does not include your family? Have you lost your mind? Staying in America has made you forget who you are! You’re not American.”
“I hope to change that.” Despite everything that had happened with Bethany. He was still determined to live the life he was meant to live here in Manhattan.
“Where did I go wrong?” Ping Mei fussed. “How could I be such a failure as a mother? My son wants to move halfway across the world to get away from me.”
“Ma, please stop being dramatic.”
His mother’s eyes narrowed. “Watch your tone, young man. You’re not too old for me to whoop you.”
“Please try to understand. I would really like your support on this.”
“But I already talked to Shang Shen Sen. His nephew’s brother-in-law works at the pharmacy at Taipei Medical University Hospital. He was going to ask his nephew to help you get a job there. The biggest and most prestigious hospital in Taiwan! What do you have in New York that can compare to that?”
“Well, I would like to know that I earned my way, and that I didn’t get a job just because my mother made a phone call.”
“So, this is my fault?” Now his mother was outraged and indignant. Not a good sign. He needed to turn this around quickly.
“We are off track. Please understand this is not about you, it’s about me.”
“More American nonsense. So selfish—all about you, you, you. Never thinking about how your actions affect anyone else. How will I explain this to our neighbors? I already told them you would be able to see them half price.”
“Doing what is best for me is not selfish. And who cares what the neighbors think? Tell them to mind their own business.” Now he knew for certain his mother was right. He definitely had been living in America too long. Or more precisely he’d spent too much time around Bethany because that was definitely her voice he was hearing when he said that. And before, he would never have dreamed of standing his ground and speaking like this.
“I’ve spoken with Dr. Ortega and Dr. McElwain and they have both agreed to help me and sponsor me so I can continue to stay and work here.”
There was a long pause before Ping Mei spoke again. “So, this is merely a formality. You didn’t call to ask for permission. You’re informing me.”
He paused to consider. “I suppose that’s accurate. Yes.”
Ping Mei’s mouth thinned to a flat line. She stayed silent for a long, agonizing thirty seconds before letting out a world-weary sigh known to all mothers since the dawn of time, perfected to inflict the maximum amount of guilt and shame into their offspring.
“It’s your life. Do as you like.”
“That’s it?” he asked, flabbergasted. No way it could be this easy.
In response, his mother just lifted a delicate shoulder. “As we already established, this call was a mere formality, so what other choice do I have?”
Note to self: better to ask for forgiveness than permission truly was golden advice.
Something he’d have to take advantage of more often in the future.
“But I don’t want you to be upset.”
“Who says I’m upset? You of all people should know I never lose my temper. I’m not happy about this and I don’t think you should expect me to be, but I’ll learn to live with it. Honestly, I should have expected this. Your generation has no understanding or respect for family and tradition. All about me, me, me.”
Ethan supposed this was the best concession he was going to get. “Thank you,” he said sincerely.
Giving a sniff, Ping Mei took a sip of tea before continuing the conversation. “Does this mean I can take your things out of your room?”
“What?”
“Your old bedroom. I can donate most of the things, but you’ll have to let me know what you want to keep. I’ll set it aside for you to take care of the next time you fly home. I’ll have to convert it into a guest room.”
This conversation was giving him whiplash. And now he didn’t even have his own bed to come back to when he went back to Taipei?
“You’re so angry with me that you’re kicking me out of the house?” he demanded.
Ping Mei raised a brow. “I believe you were the one who kicked you out. You no longer live here, so you’ll have to make do with the guest room.”
“And here I thought you’d be sad and miss me. Guess you won’t be lonely after all.”
“Of course I’ll miss you. But I still have a life to lead, just like you. I respect your decisions, and I expect you to respect mine. I’ll survive.”
And there was that warm embrace of maternal love he’d been missing. But honestly, it sharpened things into focus for him. Blood ties were important, but they weren’t the only way to form a family. Family could be the people you let into your life by choice. Lack of genetic ties didn’t make the connection any less real or powerful.
“Would you like me to keep my guest room available for you whenever you decide to visit?” he inquired politely.
“Of course. You know, maybe your decision could be a blessing in disguise. I’ve always wanted to see the Statue of Liberty and the Empire State Building. This will give me an excuse to visit you more often.”
“You’re welcome anytime,” he said, his voice a little thick with emotion.
“Maybe you could get us tickets to a Broadway Show.”
“I’ll see what I can do,” he promised.
“Are you sure this isn’t all because you don’t want to listen to me and give Tsang Tai Tai’s niece a chance? I think you two would be nice together. Or at least make cute grandkids. These things are important to think about.”
Good God his mother was relentless. What was it about him that attracted so many iron-willed women in his life? With a pang in his heart, Ethan remembered how he’d once found the idea of his mother and Bethany meeting funny. He’d been looking forward to them butting heads and enjoying the show. How wrong he’d been on that score.
Seeing the expression on his face, Ping Mei frowned. “What’s wrong? Why are you sad? You’re getting what you want aren’t you? So what is the problem?”
There was no way in hell Ethan was going to discuss a matter of the heart with his mother. He’d rather wade through Times Square during the height of summer and take selfies with every Elmo, Spider-Man, and SpongeBob SquarePants. “Nothing,” he lied. “I’m just tired from work, that’s all. You know how it is.”
His mother narrowed her eyes. “What have I told you about lying to your mother?” she demanded. “A mother always knows when something is wrong with her child.”
As Ping Mei continued to nag and harangue, Ethan couldn’t help but think that putting an entire ocean and a continent or two between them may have been the best idea he’d ever had. Even if his heart had gotten battered in the process. If only his years of study and training had taught him how to fix it.
It was truly ironic that after all these years he’d finally found the place where he felt he belonged. The place that felt like home and where he wanted to build a life. And just when he thought all the pieces of his life were falling into place, the woman he thought would want to build that life with him told him just how wrong he was.
More fool him.