Chapter 19 - Sean
Nothing feels right, even though nothing has gone wrong with Emily’s training.
I should be feeling relieved—triumphant, even—because over the past week, Emily has been opening up to me.
After my valiant show at the last meeting with our friends and the other witches, things have steadily been moving forward, and I’ve been sensing, through the mate bond, that Emily is finally opening up to me.
But tonight, something feels wrong, making me restless as I lie in bed, writhing, tossing and turning, unable to find a comfortable position to fall asleep in. It’s almost like the mate bond is tugging at my inner wolf again—not desperately, but a gentle coercion that feels almost unsettling.
It must be Emily having a nightmare again. It’s happened before, and I felt the same way I feel right now. And just like then, I decide that I should go check up on her. That’s the only thing that will give my inner wolf ease.
Kicking my legs off the side of the bed, I run a hand through my hair as I pad toward the door, stepping out into the hallway and frowning when I notice the light seeping into the hall from Emily’s bedroom. Her door is wide open, and that can only mean she isn’t asleep.
“Em…?” I call out gently as I approach her bedroom, but she doesn’t respond, and the tug at the mate bond becomes even fainter, almost not there.
I stop at the doorway, calling out again, but again she doesn’t respond, leading me to believe she must have gone down to the kitchen.
“Emily…?” I call out softly as I enter the kitchen, a misplaced draft hitting my neck and prickling the fine hairs on the back of my neck. I turn toward the strange wind with a frown, only to find the front door open wide, a chill pulsing through the air from the gaping hole.
The hackles of my inner wolf rise as I make my way there, stepping onto the front porch barefoot, fists curling at my sides as I use my wolf’s heightened sense of smell to take a giant inhale.
I catch traces of Emily’s scent in the air and follow the trail like breadcrumbs into the woods.
With each step following her out there, my heartbeat quickens, and my feet quicken, too, until I’m racing into the forest. Trees roll by in a blur, and just as I’m about to lunge forward and shift mid-air, I see a clearing illuminated in waves of golden light.
“Emily!” I call out to her urgently, pivoting over a boulder as I make my way to her. She’s standing in the center of the clearing, gold light surrounding her lithe frame, her arms stretched out on either side of her, her head tilted toward the night sky.
“Emily! Can you hear me?!” I try calling out to her, but she seems frozen, unmoving, as her magic bleeds from her pores. But there’s nothing right about what’s happening, almost as if her energy is being leaked, stolen.
There’s an invisible barrier around her, her magic creating a forcefield around her that takes some strain to penetrate.
But as soon as I do, entering the forcefield and reaching out toward her, it’s like becoming immersed in the magic she exudes.
It feels powerful, but there’s an underlying sense of dread lurking like a shadow amidst the light.
I feel it the moment I step into the vortex of her magic, but I see it the moment I place a hand on her shoulder, and my sight is arrested by a white cloud.
The cloud disperses like mist in front of my eyes as unintelligible muttering echoes around me. My vision clears and opens to a scene in the forest, and I’m watching myself pointing a finger at Emily’s face.
The light is gone from my eyes, and my face is clean-shaven. I know this look—I recognize it.
This was me five years ago.
Emily is reliving her worst nightmare while bleeding magic from her wounds.
“Emily!” I call out to her as she stands watching my former self with tears in her eyes and a trembling bottom lip.
I pause, my heart slowing as I watch her, realizing that I couldn’t see back then what I’m seeing now. I couldn’t see the hurt written all over her face, or the terror in her eyes while I was spewing cruel words at her.
Now, those vile words sound like poison to my ears, and I become disgusted with myself, while also understanding where Emily has been coming from all this time. Why she’d been so hurt, angry, and closed off from me.
She had every right to be, and standing here, watching her heartbreak play out for Goddess knows how many times, I can’t see her lose herself to her grief. I did that once before, and it broke me. I lost the most important person in my life, and I can’t lose her again.
I step in front of her, unsure if this is real, or if we’re still in Stowe, or in her mind, or in some astral projection. But when I look at her, Emily’s eyes are blank slates of iridescent gold, with tears gathering in the corners as if she’s breaking apart.
“Emily, please!” I call out to her, shaking her shoulders firmly enough to snap her into reality, but even that doesn’t work.
“Snap out of this, Em! It’s not real! It’s not!” My voice cracks in desperation, and that’s when logic flies out the window, and I do the only thing that I can think of doing to bring her back.
I grab her face and crush my lips to hers, urgently kissing her and breathing life into her, hoping she’ll snap out of it. Around us, an eerie laugh rings out, much like Morganna’s laugh when we fought her in Montreal.
Ignoring that ruthless laughter because I know it isn’t real, I continue breathing life through Emily’s lips, focusing on getting her back, because that’s all that matters to me.
The Harrower might be taunting Emily, but she’s not really here; the wicked witch isn’t really on Stowe soil, because I’ve put up enough safety measures to keep her out.
It’s the final leg of this race before Merlin Grimes is defeated, and his lackeys are doing everything in their power to come after our witches.
But we know how to keep them off our grounds, just not out of Emily’s head, since she’s the youngest witch—the last to emerge as one of our five witches from the prophecy—and she’s the most vulnerable to these mental and psychological attacks.
That’s why I kiss her as passionately as I can, until I can feel her magic retracting, seeping back into her pores until finally, she gasps on my lips. I stop kissing her, and she wheezes, before her eyes roll to the back of her head, and her body collapses forward.
I’m able to catch her in my arms, swiftly lift her, and cradle her against my chest. Her forehead is slicked with sweat, her lips parted as she takes dry, unsteady breaths.
Her eyes are closed as exhaustion wins over, so I carry her back home, grateful that she’s in my arms where I can keep her safe.
And now, she’ll be in my bed, where nothing can pull her outside and consume her again.
***
“Where… where am I?” Emily mutters, prompting me to bolt upright from the couch in the corner and make a beeline for the bed, crossing my bedroom floor barefoot.
“Thank Goddess, you’re awake,” I breathe out with a sigh of relief as I sink to my knees beside the bed, taking her hand in mine and pressing her knuckles to my lips.
The morning sun greets the bottom half of the blinds in my room, sending gentle warmth into the room that kisses Emily’s feet where she lies under my sheets.
She frowns as she takes stock of her surroundings: the bed, the pillows, the bedroom. Her frown remains as she turns to me, sadness flickering in her eyes.
Or was that disappointment?
I grip her hand tightly as I say, “I found you in the woods last night. The Harrower is playing tricks on your mind.”
A gasp escapes her lips as she attempts to sit up. I help her by fluffing the pillow behind her head.
“I was in the woods? I didn’t leave my bedroom.”
“She must have caught you while you were in your bedroom, but the vision led you outside, and you were in some kind of trance,” I explain, giving her the details of how I found her in the clearing, bleeding magic.
And I go on to tell her how I was hauled into the vision she was having when I touched her.
Her eyes widen with horror as she instantly recognizes what I would have seen, a blush creeping on her cheeks. She averts her gaze and stares at her toes covered by the sheet, but I give her hand a gentle, reassuring squeeze.
“There’s nothing to be ashamed of, Em. Actually, I’m the one who owes you more than a simple apology for what I did. I realize how much I hurt you. I saw it. I felt it last night. And…” I pause to gulp. “... there’s something I need to tell you. I have a confession to make.”
Emily turns back to me slowly, warily, her gaze questioning. “What is it?” she asks, and I bite my lip nervously as I turn my eyes away.
“I kissed you.” I flinch, the admission uncomfortable. “It was the only thing I could do to bring you back, to snap you out of that daze. You were under some kind of spell; it looked like you were losing your magic, and I didn’t know what to do. I’m sorry. I only did it because—”
“Sean,” Emily gently cuts in, and this time, she’s the one who gives my hand a firm squeeze. “It’s fine. You did what you needed to do.”
“You’re not offended?” I ask with a frown as my eyes meet hers. But the sapphire blue crystals just glow lightly, without any malice in them.
“No, of course not. I’m just glad you found me before something else happened.”
I shiver at the thought and shake my head, noticing the exhaustion circling Emily’s eyes. She’s been training these past few days tirelessly, and she’s had the Harrower to deal with, too, with all the evil witch’s sly attacks on her psyche.
“I think you need a break from all of this,” I suggest, and she frowns.
“A break? We can’t afford to take a break. We have to defeat—”
“Grimes will be defeated, one way or another,” I assure her, rising off my knees and taking a seat on the edge of the bed. “One day isn’t going to make a difference.”
Emily’s bottom lip trembles as she stifles the natural urge to be stubborn and refuse my suggestion, but there’s a definite change that is clear between who she is right now and who she was just a month ago.
“You know what? I think you’re right. I do need a break,” she relents, throwing her head back on the pillow and groaning. “I’m gonna sleep the whole day away.” Her eyes snap open suddenly, and she lifts her head. “In my room, of course.”
I chuckle lightly as I shake my head. “That’s not necessary, Em. You can stay here, if you’d like.” As I stand up, I point to the corner. “I’m gonna take the couch.”
As I’m about to draw my hand away, Emily grabs my wrist with her delicate fingers, her brows furrowed as if she has a million thoughts racing through her mind.
“Don’t, Sean,” she murmurs quietly, her eyes hidden behind the veil of her lashes as she looks down.
“The bed’s big enough for both of us. And I need…
” Emily’s voice tapers off, but I already know what she can’t bring herself to say out loud.
That’s why I gently concede, slipping into the bed beside her and folding protective arms around her, drawing her into me.
She sighs as she buries her face in the crook of my arm, and I feel the tension release from her.
A month ago, I wouldn’t have dreamed of Emily being in my arms willingly, and right now, it feels like I’m living a dream. It’s a dream I don’t wish to wake up from, even if she’s in my bed because circumstances have forced us here.
I’m not ready to let go of her, or let go of my winning streak. If this is how I win Emily over, I plan on doing it properly this time.
“Hey, Em…?”
She stirs lightly in my arms. “Hm?”
“Maybe we should do something this evening. Something fun. Something to take our minds off everything else.”
A pause. Then, she murmurs, “Sounds good.”
I smile to myself, closing my eyes only so I can plot out the perfect evening that Emily will like. An evening in which I can properly sweep her off her feet, while letting her set the pace for whatever is going on between us.