Chapter 19
NINETEEN
SAVANNAH
I strip down and step into the warm shower, my body sore, but not in a bad way.
A smile tilts my lips, and I let out a breathy laugh.
Fuck, that really just happened.
I had sex with Harley.
It’s been something I’ve been waiting for, for what feels like years, and I was getting to the point where I thought it would never happen.
I should probably hate Harley, but I don’t.
He might hate me, but I can’t say the same about him.
I should.
I really, really should.
He chased me down, pinned me against a wall, and took my virginity.
It was rough, quick, and not at all what most girls probably dream of for their first time. But I’ve never been the type to dream—not when I don’t have the freedom to—and Harley may have hurt me, but he hurt me in the best of ways.
Maybe I’m losing my goddamn mind and going insane, I don’t know anymore.
Maybe I’m a masochist, or maybe I’m just so deep into an obsession I’m not seeing things clearly, but I do know one thing—if I really hadn’t wanted it and had tried to fight, he would have stopped.
No matter how angry Harley is with me and how much pain he’s in, I know he’d never actually hurt me.
Physically, at least.
Because this is all starting to take an emotional toll on me, and no matter how much I know I should stop the cycle and save myself the heartbreak I feel every time he walks away, I can’t do it.
I don’t want to do it.
I need him more than I need to save myself.
I know I won’t survive Harley Thorn, but that’s okay.
I’d rather he be the one to destroy me than someone else.
There are times when I see a softness in his eyes when he gazes at me before he forces it away, so I know he feels something for me.
I really hope he still feels something for me.