Chapter 24
TWENTY-FOUR
SAVANNAH
JUNIOR YEAR
I’ve hated most of my college experience so far, but meeting Lana has definitely been one good thing to come out of the hell it’s been.
I never would have expected the new girl to befriend me, but for some reason, she has. It’s been nice to hang out with someone who doesn’t care about the money or prestige that so many other students do, and it’s been good to just be myself with someone without a forced ulterior motive.
“Have you finished the statistics homework yet?” she asks as we both work on our laptops in the library. My body tenses at the mention of the class.
Forcing myself to relax, I murmur, “Yup, all done.”
It’s not that I don’t like the class, it’s the fact Harley shares it with us. Well, he’s supposed to share it with us, but he’s missed the majority of classes since the beginning of the year.
I’m not sure what made him flip a switch between us, but I’m glad he did because there is no way I could have been strong enough to deny him if he hadn’t. Ever since I kissed him, I had resolved myself to keep my distance, and I guess he’s done the same.
Harley is complex, and he feels every emotion so deeply that sometimes he doesn’t react in ways you would expect most people to, but that’s just one of the things I loved so much about him.
Loved.
I inwardly scoff at myself. Who goes and falls in love with someone you have such a complicated history with like I did? It’s absurd, completely and utterly insane, but it happened.
And now I’m just trying to fix the pieces of myself back together that were left from the destruction that is him.
“You’re spacing out on me again.” Lana’s voice snapped me out of my thoughts, and I turn my attention back to her, engaging in whatever conversation we land on, all the while letting myself spiral.
The first thing I noticed when I first met Lana was her eyes. They held a pain in them I recognized, and I knew that no matter what her attitude showed, she had been hurt deeply in the past. She’s been open with me about most things, but I haven’t been honest with her in the same way.
I haven’t let her know anything personal about me. There’s been times when I thought maybe I could tell her everything and that she’d help me figure it out, or just be someone other than Logan, but I always backed out at the last minute.
I’m always here for her and give her advice whenever she needs it, so shouldn’t I let her do the same? Shouldn’t I open up to her? If not everything, I should at least tell her about the situation with Harley?
After telling Logan the truth, I didn’t think I’d ever tell another living soul, but the more time I spend with Lana, the more I trust her.
“Okay, that’s it. You’re not listening to a word I’m saying, and you haven’t for the last hour. Something’s clearly on your mind. Hell, I’m pretty sure something has been on your mind since we first met. Out with it,” she demands, and I blink at her.
Oh fuck, I zoned out again, didn’t I?
It was much easier without friends. With no friends, there’s no one to call you out on your shit.
I already have Logan doing it constantly and now Lana too?
Fuck my life. Maybe I should just go back to being the girl who kept to herself.
At least that way, I didn’t have to force myself to be in the moment or have someone picking up on my bullshit excuses.
“Out with what?” I ask innocently, fluttering my eyelashes, and she snorts.
“You know, when I first met you, I really thought you were an innocent good girl type, but maybe I was wrong.”
Well, she’s not the first to tell me that.
“You hide behind this facade, showing people a version of you I don’t think is real. I think there’s more to you, and I think there’s something going on. You trust me, right? You can tell me if there’s something bothering you.”
Knowing Lana won’t back down from this conversation without a fight, I sigh deeply and completely fix my attention on her. “I’m fine, seriously. There’s nothing going on, but there is actually something I’ve been wanting to—”
A chair scraping has my words coming to a halt, and I look up to see none other than Cole Aston sitting down at our table.
I swallow, my surprise no doubt evident on my face as my mind runs out of control. Does he also know about what I did to Harley? Does he know about mine and Harley’s… situationship? Will he say something to me? Has he already said something to Lana?
I know there’s something going on between the two of them, since it’s been the talk of the school since she joined, but I don’t know just how close they are. She would have said something if she knew, right?
Unless she’s been waiting for you to tell her yourself…
No, Lana’s not that type of girl. She’s the type that would just come out and say something, no matter how uncomfortable the subject is.
“Lana, I’ve been looking for you. You weren’t at home,” Cole drawls, and my eyes dart between them.
“That’s not my home,” Lana mutters, and my head whirls as I process their words.
Just hold on a damn—
“Oh, come on, little menace. We live together, if you need to talk your feelings out, we can.”
—minute.
“Wait, you two live together?” I blurt, speaking for the first time since Cole sat down. I immediately regret my choice about speaking up because the less of his attention on me, the better.
“Yes.”
“No.”
They both answer at the same time, contradicting each other before they start kicking under the table like children in elementary school.
“Now now, Lana. This is not the time nor place for foreplay,” Cole says, and I take that as my cue to leave.
I grab my things from the table, shoulder my bag, and mutter a goodbye before leaving them to whatever the hell is going on between them.
I guess it’s a good thing I didn’t tell Lana, because if she really is living with Cole, then she’s also living with Harley, which means my new friendship just got a whole lot more complicated.
What’s that saying? The past is better off staying dead and buried…
But maybe I would be too. Maybe things would be a whole lot better for everyone if I weren’t around.