Chapter 36
THIRTY-SIX
SAVANNAH
After Harley left, I used the bathroom and then didn’t leave Logan’s room for hours. I’m still here, sitting and watching him do whatever it is he does on the computer, his fingers flying over the keyboard as he stares at whatever code is on the screen.
I know I should go home, but I just can’t deal with the quiet right now. The clacking of keys and Logan’s voice as he constantly asks me how I’m feeling is the only thing keeping me sane.
At least here, I can focus on other things, but if I go home, I know all I’m going to do is relive last night over and over.
Logan sighs suddenly as he checks his phone before turning around in his chair to face me. “She’s held off as long as you’re going to get. Honestly, she’s been a lot more patient than I gave her credit for.”
“What are you—”
The door swings open, and Lana walks in, sending a pointed look toward Logan, and he sighs again before standing.
“I’ll leave you girls to it,” he mutters, clearly feeling put out about being kicked out of his own room. Just as he reaches the door, he turns back and meets my eyes. “Just shout if you need anything.”
A knot of gratitude forms in my throat, and I nod, swallowing it down as he closes the door behind him, leaving me alone with Lana.
She leans against the wall with her arms crossed over her chest. Her stance is casual, but there’s something in her eyes that tells me she’s struggling with this.
She shifts a little. “Are you…” She pauses to swallow. “Are you okay?”
I fiddle with the comforter just to give me something to do.
“I’ll live,” I murmur, not knowing what else to say. I’m not okay, but I will be. If there’s anything I’ve learned recently, it’s that I’m a lot stronger than I thought I was. Nightmares and memories may haunt me, but I’m strong enough to get past them.
There’s a terse moment of silence before Lana sighs and approaches the bed.
She flops down beside me, lying on her side with her head on her elbow.
“I’m not good with talking about feelings.
I barely know how to process them, but I don’t like seeing you upset, and I really wish I could bring that sick cunt back from the dead, just so I can chop him into teeny tiny pieces while his heart is still beating. ”
For the first time today, my lips twitch into a smile, and I realize just how much I needed this. Needed her. Logan’s been tiptoeing around me, and it’s nice to have Lana still be herself and for me not to have to open up completely.
“You would, huh?”
She bobs her head. “Yup, and I’d fucking revel in it. It’s been far too long since I got my hands dirty.”
I… honestly don’t know what to say to that. It seems like everyone around me is a goddamn criminal, but unlike my father and the men who work for him, I know that no one in this house would hurt me.
Hell, not even Harley.
I’m grateful to him for helping me last night, but it doesn’t change things, and I won’t let it.
Things are a lot safer for the both of us if we keep our distance.
“There’s something you need to know,” Lana murmurs, and I brace myself. Her tone and demeanor give nothing away, but the fact she’s warning me about whatever it is first tells me this is serious.
“Okay…”
“I went through the guy’s phone before we got rid of him, and I found texts that described you and told him where to find you. This wasn’t a random thing, Sav.”
I stay silent. She’s telling me something I already knew, and while I told Logan this was no accidental incident, I wasn’t planning on telling anyone else.
Did she… did she tell the others about what she found?
Does Harley know? Oh god, please tell me he doesn’t know.
He can’t know. I’ve spent years hiding this shit from him to keep him safe, and I have no idea how he would react if he found out the truth.
If he knows it was targeted, then he’ll ask questions, and he won’t stop until he learns the truth.
I clear my throat. “Was it just you who saw these messages, or did—”
She shakes her head, and my gut sinks until she speaks again.
“I didn’t tell the others. Hell, I didn’t even tell Cole.
It’s clear there’s more going on here than meets the eye.
” She sends me a pointed look, and I know she’s silently berating me for not opening up to her sooner.
“And I didn’t know if you would want anyone else to know. ”
I sigh in relief, my entire body sagging. “Thank you.”
She snorts. “Don’t thank me yet. I may let you get away with keeping me in the dark and not getting personal with me, but not about this. You need to tell me everything, and then I’m going to make sure nothing like this ever happens again.”
A rebuttal forms on my lips, but she cuts it off with a sharp look.
“You’re the first friend I’ve had in this place, and you helped me even when you had no idea what you were doing.
Clearly, you’re in danger and didn’t want to tell me about it.
” Her jaw ticks, and she takes a deep breath, as though trying to calm herself.
“But I understand that sometimes it’s hard to talk about this shit, and I also know you probably thought you were keeping me safe by keeping me in the dark, but that shit stops now.
“I need to know, Sav. I need to help you. There’s a lot you don’t know about me, and maybe if I had been upfront about it in the beginning, then you would have opened up to me, knowing that I can help. So how about we both just let go of all the secrets and get everything out in the open?”
I debate it for a moment, but then realize I have nothing left to lose.
She already knows things are far worse for me than I’ve made them out to be, and I know I can trust her.
I know she won’t do anything I don’t want her to, and I know she’ll understand everything I’ve done.
She won’t hate me for it, because she’ll see it for what it is.
I take a deep breath and nod. She grins wickedly before diving into her past, going first as though she knows I need a little extra time to get my mind together.
She tells me about her family, about how they were killed when she was practically a baby.
She tells me about how she was adopted by the man who saved her, and how he ran a seriously fucked up sounding organization.
She tells me about the people who were after her, and how they killed her adopted dad before she fled to here, of all places.
She explains the old dean was her father’s friend and like an uncle to her. Then she tells me the truth about what happened between her and Cole, and about what she, Cole, Logan, and the dean had to do to keep her safe.
It’s a lot to process, and my mind is spinning, not knowing which piece of information to focus on. She tells the story mechanically, as though she’s completely detached, but I know that’s not the truth, this is just her way of dealing with things.
“And now we’re living happily ever after and all that shit,” she says as her story comes to an end, but I can’t help the laughter that bubbles out of me because it’s just so her.
“I’m sorry all that happened to you,” I say when I’ve gotten myself together, but she waves it away.
“It’s okay. I’ve worked through it and dealt with it in the only ways I know how. Now, how about you explain what the fuck is going on with you?”
I sigh and dive right in.
I tell her about how my father turned into someone I didn’t recognize anymore when my mom died.
I tell her about the summer I met Harley and how happy I was, until I came home from a date with him to find my dad waiting for me.
I tell her about the threats and the promises he made if I didn’t do as he told me to.
I tell her about what I did and the fallout.
I tell her about what’s been going on between Harley and me ever since, and about how my father has been keeping close tabs on me.
I tell her everything, including what happened the times I’ve visited home since starting college, and about how my father is currently looking for a husband for me so he can gain influence over certain people.
Halfway through my story, she jumps up and starts pacing the room, but I don’t stop.
Once the floodgates have opened, I can’t help but tell her every detail.
About what he will do to me, about what he will do to Harley if he has even the slightest inclination that I didn’t completely cut things off all those years ago, and about what he’s been doing all of these years.
I finally come to the end, and I’m surprised to find my eyes are dry.
I’ve only ever told one person about all of this, and when I did, I found myself sobbing uncontrollably while Logan comforted me, but this time, I feel…
free. I feel like getting this out in the open is what’s needed, and maybe it shouldn’t just stop at Lana.
Maybe I’m finally strong enough to really do something about my father.
“I just don’t get it. Why did he send that man last night?” she asks when she stops pacing. I note the way her teeth are digging into her lip and the way her hands clench—she’s pissed. More than pissed, and she wants to do something about it.
Honestly, I know the feeling.
“He set up a meeting even after I refused, and I blew off the guy he was trying to set me up with. So, he decided to show me—even though he’s more than proved he’s not all talk—that the warnings he’s been giving me weren’t just words.
He’s got it in his head that I’ll give in eventually, that I’ll do to another family what I had to do to Harley’s. ”
“You need to stay here. You can’t go back to your dorm when you don’t know what’s waiting for you. At least if you’re here, we can keep our eyes on you, and you’ll never be alone.”
I inwardly groan. Did she not hear me when I told her about everything that’s gone on between Harley and I?
This is the last place I should be. Sure, it’s been nice to stay here today so I don’t have to deal with the quiet and relive everything, but I like my own space.
As soon as I’m feeling well enough to walk around without nearly collapsing from the pain, I’m out of here.
I shake my head adamantly, knowing what a bad idea it is. “I can’t stay here, Lana. It’s not going to happen.”
“Why the fuck not?” she bursts out, clearly close to losing it.
I know it’s only because she’s worried, and while I really do love her for that, I’m not in the mood to argue. There’s no changing my mind on this.
I open my mouth to give her all of the reasons why it’s an absolutely terrible idea, but a familiar voice has me snapping it shut.
“I agree. Why can’t you stay here?”
My head snaps toward the sound, only to find Harley standing in the doorway.
Shit, shit, shit. How much did he hear?