Chapter 44
FORTY-FOUR
SAVANNAH
Our heavy breathing fills the room, our sweat-slicked bodies still pressed together as Harley presses a chaste kiss to the side of my throat.
That was… well, it was amazing.
It was unexpected, probably a bad idea, and I’ll no doubt regret it, but it was earth-shattering to just be in the moment with him.
It was like a fantasy playing out before my eyes, and I couldn’t help but just let myself go.
But I know it shouldn’t have happened.
We shouldn’t have done what we did, because Harley still doesn’t know the truth of our story, and it’s not fair to either of us to get close before everything comes crashing down.
He’s clearly had a change of heart, but I still can’t figure out if it’s just a pity thing or if he knows there’s more. His mom says he suspects, but how much difference is there between what he suspects and what is real?
No matter what he thinks, it can’t be anywhere near as bad as the truth, and so I need to put space between us.
I don’t want to hurt him more than I already have, but I also need to protect myself at the same time, and letting myself get tangled up with Harley again will no doubt only lead to my hurt.
I don’t want to hurt anymore.
Harley lifts his head, and I can see his intentions in his eyes. He’s going to kiss me. He’s going to kiss me, and it’s going to break my resolve all over again.
Nope, not this time.
Something inside of me snaps, and I roll out from beneath him before climbing to my feet. He stares up at me with a look of confusion, but I turn my back to him as I pull on my clothes, trying to blink back the tears.
“Sav…” he starts, but I shake my head.
“Don’t. Don’t, Harley. I just…” I can’t get the words out to explain myself. I can’t even fucking look at him because I know that if I do, I’ll break.
“I’m sorry,” I rasp, my voice breaking as I flee. I run and I don’t look back.
I run and run until my legs can barely hold me up, until my cheeks are wet with tears and until I can barely take in a breath, my chest is so tight.
I make it back to my dorm quicker than ever, locking the door behind me and then sink to the floor. I can feel Harley’s cum still dripping from me, and I’m in desperate need of a shower, but I can’t move.
Sobs take over, and tremors wrack my body as I finally lose the careful control I’ve had on my emotions.
Everything hits me at once, from the threats made by my father, killing a man and Harley, it’s an avalanche of suppressed anger, sadness, and fear that feels so overwhelming I can barely breathe.
Things I’ve forced myself to push to the back of my mind come forward, and I relive the memories.
Memories of my father leaving bruises on me, memories of his harsh words and terrifying threats, memories of the sinking loneliness I’ve felt for years, and that deep-seated part of myself that just wished someone would see me for who I really am.
But it’s not as though someone didn’t, because I got the courage to show Harley who I really was, but then I was forced into something I didn’t want to do, and ruined everything.
Why couldn’t he have looked deeper? Why couldn’t he have seen it for what it really was?
Why do I have to fucking feel like this?
Why is it that I had to have the father that I do?
He needs to be stopped, and while I do have information I could use to take to the police or the press, he has friends in high places, and I can’t guarantee he won’t be able to just have it all brushed under the rug and hidden away.
It wouldn’t be the first time he’s done it, so that leaves me stuck, not having the slightest idea of what to do.
Logan says he’s working on something, but what can he do, really? I know he’s into some shady shit, but at the end of the day, he’s just a college student, same as me.
It makes me wonder if I’ll ever really be free from this never-ending nightmare, or if this has been my fate all along.
No.
I refuse to believe that.
I refuse to be another person beaten down by the horrifying man that I call my father.
He can hit me and hurt me, but I won’t let him destroy me.
I’ll make him pay for everything he’s done, no matter the cost.
I won’t let him keep doing this to people, it’s not right, and maybe I should have done something a long time ago, but I felt trapped, unable to escape.
But no more.
That man has taken enough from me, and this is the end.
I just need to come up with a plan to take him down.
Easy, right?