Chapter 49
FORTY-NINE
HARLEY
PRESENT DAY
“Jesus,” I whisper as I stare at Savannah with fresh eyes. I’ve always known she was strong, but this just makes me realize I had no idea just how strong until this very moment.
Everything has shaped her into the person she is, and I’m one of the few lucky people to know her.
I don’t bother to wipe away my tears, I just continue staring at her, committing her to memory.
“I was shaking the entire time I was in your dad’s office.
It’s honestly a miracle I managed to hide how I was feeling from you from the moment you opened the door to the second I left.
I didn’t want to do it, Harley, I really didn’t.
But the thought of my dad or anyone else hurting you in any way—” She cuts off with a sob, her body almost vibrating as she tries to stifle her cries.
Fuck this.
“Sav, let me hold you, please?”
It only takes her two seconds to respond, but it feels like the longest two seconds of my life. As soon as she dips her head in a nod, I’m lifting her, sitting on the sofa, and placing her in my lap, my arms tightly around her.
“Shhh, it’s okay, I’ve got you,” I murmur into her hair, and she tucks her head beneath my chin, clinging to me. I settle against the back of the couch, not planning on going anywhere or letting go of her until she tells me she wants me to move.
This is the first time I’ve held her—really held her—without sex being in the equation, and I didn’t know how much I needed this.
It’s intimate, but it’s not sexual. It’s just us, doing what we should have been doing this entire time.
Holding each other. Soothing each other.
Pulling strength from each other when we’re struggling to hold it together.
Four years, wasted.
But no more.
“When I got home that night…” She pauses to swallow, and I can’t take her pain anymore.
“It’s okay, Sav. You don’t need to keep going.”
“No. I need to get it out, all of it.”
I take a shaky breath and nod against the top of her head.
“When I got home, he was sitting in the entrance of the house, waiting for me. I all but threw the flash drive at him, not wanting to touch it anymore. It felt like it was burning me. It felt like it was causing me physical pain, but handing it over did nothing to take it away. If anything, it made it even worse.”
She shifts in my lap, and I run my fingers through her hair to try and soothe her.
“He got up to leave the room, and I begged him, pleaded with him not to hurt you. Just as he got to the doorway, he looked over his shoulder and said, ‘You betraying him will cause him enough pain for now, but if you even think of letting this slip… or trying to get help, then I’ll make it so his life is no longer worth living. From now on, you’ll do everything I ask, unless you want your little boyfriend to get hurt.
’ As soon as he left, I broke. My legs went out from under me, and I could barely breathe.
I felt like I was going to die, and I knew that whatever we had between us was already gone.
It took days for the tears to stop, but by then, the end was already in sight. ”
I bury my face in her hair and breathe her in, my cheeks wet with tears and my arms locked around her, not letting her leave even if she wanted to. I try to breathe deeply to stop myself from trembling, but once a hiccupping sob leaves her, my fight leaves me.
“Fuck,” I say, my voice breaking, “I’m so fucking sorry you went through that, Sav. I’m sorry you were alone.” My words don’t change a damn thing, but it feels wrong not to say them.
“The morning you picked me up, he told me he was planning to blackmail your father later that day. I knew it was only a matter of hours until everything between us would come to an end,” she whispers, and everything clicked into place.
“That’s why you were acting so weird,” I deduce, and she nods. “I wondered what that was about at the time. I’m sorry you couldn’t talk to me about it, and I’m sorry I thought the worst of you for so long. You deserve so much better than that, Savannah.”
She pulls away from me, blinking up at me with teary eyes. “You don’t really mean that,” she states, and I frown.
“Of course I do,” I say, about to defend her actions, but she’s already shaking her head.
“I ruined your father’s career. I hurt your family, I hurt you. It’s all my fault.”
“No, baby, it isn’t. Do you think that because I pursued you from the beginning, that because I kept inserting myself into your life and invited you into my home, that it’s my fault?”
Her jaw tightens, and she stays quiet, knowing I’m right but not wanting to admit it.
“See? It’s neither of our faults. The only person to blame is the man who abused you for years and gave you no choice but to do as you were told.
You were doing what you had to do to survive.
Not only that, but you were also protecting me.
I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to find the words to tell you just how sorry I am for everything that’s happened, but I hope you come to terms with the fact it was never your doing.
You were just a pawn in his games, much like the rest of us. ”
She’s silent for a moment, her gaze never leaving mine as she presumably thinks over everything I just said, and then averts her gaze.