Chapter 50
FIFTY
SAVANNAH
I stare at nothing as my mind replays Harley’s words. Sure, my father is at fault for a lot of shit, but the blame is still partly on me. I could have done something, anything, to stop the events that followed.
Today has been an unexpected goddamn avalanche of emotion, but I finally feel free. I finally told him the truth, and he doesn’t seem to hate me for it.
Not like I thought he would.
He’s been so kind, so goddamn understanding that it breaks my heart.
How can he be so accepting after everything?
I’m honestly surprised he’s still here, since any normal person would have left the second they knew the full story.
So much pain must be attached to me, so how does he manage to see past that? And can he teach me how?
“I’m so fucking sorry for what you’ve been through, Sav,” he croaks, my eyelids flutter closed as I take a deep breath, and then I pull away. I stand and move until I’m sitting on the coffee table, a mirror position of how he was sitting earlier.
There’s a frown on his face, and I want to wipe those lines away, but we need to talk, and I can barely concentrate on what needs to be said whilst sitting here, so touching him is out of the question.
This entire conversation has been a long time coming, and it can’t just end at what happened four years ago. There’s still more to the story.
“It didn’t end there, Harley.”
His frown deepens further. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, there’s more to the story. This didn’t just stop when things fell apart between the two of us. This has been going on for years, getting progressively worse, and right now, I don’t see an end in sight.”
He takes a deep breath and wipes his cheeks with the back of his hand, visibly pulling himself together, though he doesn’t hide the fact he was crying.
I love how he’s not afraid to show me how he’s feeling, how he doesn’t mind being vulnerable with me.
If this was a couple of years ago—or hell, a couple of weeks ago—he would never have dared to show me how he really felt.
“Okay,” he says, more determined than ever. “Tell me what’s been going on and then tell me how I can help.”
I take a shaky breath and tell him my final secrets.
“For years, every time I’ve gone home, my father’s gotten worse in the way he treats me.
What used to be a backhand is now a kick or punch to the stomach.
But it didn’t stop there. I’m sure you heard that he…
well, that we were looking for a husband for me.
” I almost spit out the words, disgusted at the thought of having to marry one of the men my father had picked out.
“I didn’t have a choice in it, and I was going along with it as much as I could, only I never would have gone through with it.
I’d have sooner died before I let it happen, and honestly? I very nearly did.”
Harley’s body tenses, and he clenches his hands into fists. “What does that mean?”
“It means that the night you found me in the alley wasn’t just a freak thing.
My father wanted me to meet with one of my potential…
suitors and get information from him, much like he made me do with your family.
Only this time, he was going to use the information to blackmail the family and use me as a constant source once I was married.
I refused, not wanting anything to do with the entire thing, and for the first time in my life, I stood up to him. ”
I stop talking, my breath shaky and my hands trembling in my lap.
“Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”
“I’m saying that he paid a man to assault me in the alleyway to send me a message, and when he finds out that the man is dead, then I’ll be next.”
Harley jumps to his feet and starts pacing, his fingers continuously running through his hair as he mutters to himself under his breath. Finally, his spine snaps straight, and his gaze flashes with mine.
“The folder my mom gave you—and we need to talk about that at some point, by the way—what’s in it?”
“Everything she could find on my father. She broke into my dorm the other day and gave it to me,” I say with an air of disbelief, and he snorts, shaking his head.
“Incriminating?” he asks, not bothering to comment on what happened with his mom.
“Very. The stuff I read in that folder… it’s awful,” I state, and he nods, seemingly pleased.
“Well, there we go. We take it to the police.”
“That won’t work,” I whisper. “He has too many connections, he’d have something like that go away within minutes.”
He throws his arms in the air, clearly agitated. “The press, then. Reporters, bloggers, news stations—whoever can get the story out. Your father will be ruined, and the cops will have no choice but to arrest him when it becomes public knowledge. All you need to do is give them the fold—”
“No.”
“No? What the fuck do you mean, no?”
“I mean no, Harley. That folder is filled with stuff, but not only on my father. It has details of what happened with your mom and what your dad covered up. I’ve already ruined your family enough. I won’t do it again.”
Harley hesitates, his eyes squinting off to the side as he thinks about what to do. “My family’s reputation can take a hit if it means keeping you safe,” he rasps, but I’m already shaking my head.
“I won’t do it, Harley. I can’t. Logan has been planning something for a while now, so I need to talk to him and see if he’s come up with any ideas that could work in everyone’s favor.”
Harley sighs and plops himself back down onto the couch opposite me, sagging into the cushions.
“I just need you safe,” he murmurs, and tears spring to my eyes again.
“You don’t hate me anymore then?” I ask, and he scoffs before scooting forward and placing his hands on my thighs, making sure his eyes are locked on mine.
“I don’t hate you, Sav. Hell, I don’t think I ever really did. Sure, I was angry and wanted revenge, so I took it all out on you, but even then, there was a part of me that just wanted… no, needed to be near you.
“I’ve always been drawn to you, but back then I thought it was because I needed you to take out my frustrations, but in reality, I just needed you close to me, and I still do.”
I clear my throat to try and dislodge the lump that his words caused. “Us being together is the worst thing we could do.”
He chuckles darkly. “Baby, I think being apart is the worst thing we can do.”
“So just like that, you’ve changed your mind about me? You can’t just flip a switch like that, Harley.”
He sighs. “It might not work. I might start hating you for real, or you might start to resent me. Who the fuck knows? I just know that right now, I need you, and I think you need me.”
As soon as the words leave his lips, a flush of anger sweeps over me.
“No,” I snap. “You don’t get to just erase everything that’s happened. You don’t just get to forget everything. You can’t erase everything, and you can’t pretend we haven’t been anything other than toxic for the last three years, Harley.
“You can say it doesn’t matter all you want, but it does.
It matters to me, and too much has happened for us to just move past it.
It’s not happening. We’re not happening, not after everything we’ve done to hurt each other.
I think you should go, and I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to speak to me anymore. ”