Chapter 15
DEWALT
“That cannot be true,” I said, bracing my hand against the bookshelf. “Raj can’t be…how? What happened?”
Rainier looked exhausted. He had to be, considering he’d blown up the gods damned Aesiron Bridge. With bloodshot eyes and fatigue clear in each muscle, it was a miracle he still stood to break the horrifying news. The death of our general was more than just a blow to our army. Raj had been with us since we were boys, and the loss was profound—for both me and Rainier. With the death of Shade as well, we were both unmoored. Rainier’s throat bobbed before a hand went up to his brow. “Marella found him.”
Nor flinched. It took a moment for me to remember, but Raj’s daughter had found clothes for her and the other novices to wear upon escaping Folterra. The slope of Nor’s shoulders softened, and her posture relaxed infinitesimally. She sighed, a mournful sound for the girl she knew.
“How did?—”
“His throat was slit,” Emma said, not lifting her gaze from the letter she held in her hands. Her other hand fiddled with one of the tiny statues I’d used to demonstrate our defense on the city map stretched across the enormous table. It had been useless for a while; the positioning of our enemy had changed very little in recent weeks.
While Rainier appeared exhausted, Emma looked half-dead. I knew she hadn’t been sleeping, and using her divinity to its limit was not sustainable. I’d been able to keep the knowledge of her disappearance limited to just a few people—the last thing we needed was the mayhem a missing queen would cause.
Though she’d somehow managed to sleep for over a day, deep purple bruises lingered beneath her eyes. Clothing covered in days of grime told me just how little attention she’d paid herself. This was a siege, not a battle. She needed to behave as such. She was no use to anyone as a corpse.
The hairs on the back of my neck stood as I dismissed the memory of her sister’s ghost whispering impossible prophecies on the edge of death. With so many paths to the end of this war, most would never come true, and there was no reason to worry Rainier with the worst of them, so my mouth remained shut.
“By who?” I asked, focusing. Stepping forward, I rested my forearms on the back of the armchair where Nor sat. She shifted in her seat, moving away. I rolled my eyes; I wasn’t going to bite her.
“I’m hoping you’ll be able to tell me that.” Green eyes made all the more vivid by the contrasting red of Rainier’s sleep deprivation met mine. “I need you there, D.”
I nodded, swallowing hard. I was capable of leading men, had been doing it for a long fucking time, but protecting Nara’s Cove was no small responsibility. On this side of the Alsors, Vesta was dependent on the port city, the fish from the Mahowin being a primary staple of a southerner’s diet. With Northport being overrun by the Supreme’s forces, Nara’s Cove was the only supply of fish to supplement crops. Fish had fed my entire village over many harsh winters.
I knew Rainier had been spreading Raj’s men thin, pointing some of their attention north toward the plains where my family lived. It was a preventive measure, making sure the bulk of our crops wouldn’t be ruined by an advancing army. Our soldiers’ presence also ensured our harvesters’ safety from pillaging.
I had a vested interest in that too. Saski’s letter to me had weighed heavily on my mind ever since I received it a month prior. The first word I’d had from her since our mother died hadn’t been what I’d expected.
Before war claims us, an older sister would hug her baby brother one last time.
“I don’t wish to offend, Your Majesties, but what does this have to do with me? I am no good with mysteries.” Nor’s voice brought me back from my distracting thoughts. What I wouldn’t have given to stop fucking thinking. It was all I’d been doing.
“Though we don’t expect you to help find Raj’s killer,” Emma said, looking up from the paper for the first time, “we hope to prevent you from meeting such an end as well.”
Nor’s quick intake of breath was her only visible disquiet. She had been nearly unshakeable since the moment I met her, kicking down a door to escape a burning building. I’d only seen her rattled once before, when she told me the true identity of her father. Perhaps if I hadn’t behaved like a villain, tossing her away from me over my own indiscretion, she would have been composed then too. I flexed my hand in memory of where mine had been, a phantom ache of longing and confusion filling me. Fucking hell. Her own hands were clasped primly in her lap as she cleared her throat. “I’m sorry. I don’t—I don’t follow.”
“They could breach our walls, Nor,” Rainier said, matter-of-fact as he stepped behind his wife. When his hands drifted to her shoulders, she tipped her head back on a groan. She stifled it, cheeks pink, before straightening. Though he didn’t smile, the topic too grim, Rainier watched his wife with an intensity I recognized. I bit the inside of my cheek. Sometimes, watching them together made me have feelings . I’d rather have pulled my own teeth out than go down that road again.
When Rainier didn’t continue, I cleared my throat. I knew as well as he did that the Supreme and the Nythyrians could find victory eventually. Though the Aesiron’s destruction bought us time, rumors flew about the Folterran army. If the Supreme assumed control, our time was limited. There was only so much we could do once our stores ran out if they blocked access to our supplies. As it was, we were lucky to have lasted this long. Attacking toward the end of winter before we’d had a chance to replenish was a cruel, yet effective, strategy.
Rainier pulled his hands from Emma’s shoulders, and I did my best to ignore her look of tired adoration when she glanced back at him.
“It isn’t safe for you here. Your identity as Declan’s daughter was not as well-kept of a secret as he would have you believe. Cyran is well-protected, and you need to be too,” Rainier explained.
“We fear they may kill you. Or perhaps something worse,” Emma said. Searing heat flooded my body, and my chest felt tight. “It’s very likely the Supreme knew what Filenti was doing all along. It’s possible he even encouraged it. Though Declan didn’t touch you, I’m afraid the Supreme would try to put an heir in you if he managed to get to you.”
My fingernails broke into the skin of my palm. When Filenti had shipped novices across the Mahowin Strait to Folterra for Declan to rape, Nor’s identity as his child was all that protected her. Apparently forcing himself upon the other women in a twisted bid to gain Rhia’s favor hadn’t been too far, but raping his own kin had been. She’d been lucky. And now, Emma and Rainier feared for her safety. I might not have believed what Lu said about Nor, about what she would mean to me, but I didn’t want the woman to be harmed either.
“She’s coming with me, right?” I blurted, unable to hold my tongue. “I assume we are to take the tunnel? I’ll escort her to the Cinturon before turning south.” The thought of dropping her off at the mountain pass at the beginning of spring pained me. Thawing out, the mountainous terrain would be difficult to traverse, but I started mentally tallying the men I’d trust to take her through it.
“Yes, you’ll be taking the tunnel,” Rainier said, eyes narrowing on me for only a second before he turned his attention back to Nor. “I’m sorry. I cannot lift the wards, and I can’t spare anyone to rift you once you get past the tunnel’s obsidian.”
“The tunnel?” Nor asked Rainier, but her head turned the slightest bit over her shoulder to look at me. Her eyes were wide, flickering brown in the candlelight. When she worried her bottom lip, I looked away.
I would absolutely not think about her lush mouth.
“Only a handful of people know about the tunnel. It was designed so the royal family could escape in this exact situation. It’s made of obsidian. Impenetrable. It goes east, nearly all the way to the mountains,” Emma explained.
“My mother only told me when she went that route with the children. We are the only people within the city who know about it,” Rainier added.
“What about the smugglers? Couldn’t we go their way?” Nor scooted to the edge of her seat. “I know it wouldn’t be easy getting out, but?—”
“We’re not trusting the fucking runners,” I snapped, but Emma glared at me, brows furrowed, and I shut my mouth. I’d seen Penellion speaking to Nor a few times, and their familiarity had bothered me. The man was as untrustworthy as they came.
“They get caught just as often as they don’t,” Emma explained after a moment, dragging her eyes back to Nor, though her frown didn’t fade. “I don’t trust them to keep you safe.”
As she shouldn’t. Sure, the runners were getting things the city needed, risking their necks, but they’d done significant damage to Astana—for years—especially in the Wend. Soren hadn’t cared what happened at the crowded edges of the city but Rainier had a mind to change all that.
“Do you have anyone to spare to see her through the pass?” I asked.
“She’s going to Nara’s Cove with you,” Rainier said, before he directed his attention back to Nor. “That is, if that sounds agreeable to you?”
“Why?” we asked at the same time, Nor’s voice pitched higher than normal.
“Cyran is already in the east. It makes more sense to keep you two separate,” Rainier explained. “Is Nara’s Cove acceptable for you, Nor?”
“I—Yes, I suppose. I don’t mind staying here, really. I like to help.”
My jaw clenched. Did she only wish to stay to be away from me? It irked me that I cared.
“And you’ve done so much to help,” Emma said, a sad smile easing her weariness. Though she wasn’t even a decade older than Nor, her instinct to mother the woman was strong. “But if we fail, you are—you could be the future. You must be kept safe. The duke will keep you safe.” My friend lifted her chin, eyebrows arching high and expectant. “Won’t you, D?”
“You need sleep more than I thought if you have to ask,” I said. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Nor’s cheeks flush. “Of course, I’ll do what you ask of me. It’s an honor you both hold me in such high esteem,” I added.
I needed to make it clear to both myself—and Nor apparently—that I only saw her as duty. There was no reason for her to look into it. Despite what Lucia had said to me in the brief moments when I’d lingered at the edge of life and death, Nor and I weren’t anything to each other. We would stay that way if I had anything to do with it. I was nothing to her, as she was nothing to me.
And yet “nothing” was all I could think about. Why had I ever let her kiss me? Why did I want to touch her again?
“You are my general now, so I hope you can understand why I might hold you in such regard,” Rainier drawled, a single brow raised. I should have understood before that moment what it meant to take over for Raj, the man who taught both me and Rainier everything we knew about battle. And yet, it took me by surprise. Rainier didn’t give me a chance to react. “I can spare a few soldiers to accompany you.”
“No conduits, though,” I said, hoping he’d refute me.
“No conduits,” he agreed. A moment later, when Emma let out the biggest yawn I’d ever seen, Nor jumped to her feet.
“We should let you rest, Your Majesties,” she squeaked out. When she curtsied—a dreadful attempt—I tightened my jaw, not allowing a smile. I wasn’t sure who it would embarrass more.
At Emmeline’s nod, the woman scurried toward the door like a dog with its tail between its legs. I followed a moment later. The list of things I needed to attend to before sunset had grown significantly longer.
“Dewalt?” Emma murmured, leaning against Rainier with her eyes closed as I lingered in the doorway. “Be kinder to her. You’ll have less to apologize for if you start now.”
My eye twitched, and I didn’t respond. Straightening my spine, I stepped out of the room. When a cool draft breezed down the hall, I shuddered, drawing my cloak close. There was a cold front moving in from the northeast, and I expected we’d get one last blizzard before spring would bloom green beneath our feet.
Nor was already at the other end of the hall, her silhouette dark against a window. Spine straight, she looked first to the left and then to the right. She’d had to have run to get that far that fast. Clearly she wasn’t pleased about the turn of events. My eyes were drawn to her elegant neck, hair pulled away from skin I knew was far too soft.
“Nor!” I called, but she ignored me, looking to the left again. Her dress looked filthy—dark spots stained the brown, roughly-spun fabric. Suddenly, I realized I hadn’t seen her in anything else these past few weeks. It was probably blood and offal which stained her clothing, and something like pride warmed my chest when I realized she didn’t give a single thought to impressing Emma and Rainier. Others would have insisted upon changing, but Nor was practical. The warm feeling was swiftly replaced by cool sympathy when I realized she likely had no other clothes.
“We’ll leave at dawn,” I said as I finally stopped behind her. When she sniffled, I froze. That wasn’t the reaction I was expecting. Moving closer, my hand hovered over her shoulder. About to pat her and give her reassurance, I realized the side I chose was where her injured skin caused her pain on occasion. I’d seen her favor it when helping Kimya. Catching myself, I patted her other shoulder. “I hate this as much as you do, Nor,” I said, softening her inevitable blow by striking first. “But I will keep you safe. I swear it.”
“Ungh!” She tore herself away from me and started marching the opposite direction of where she needed to go.
“Wrong way, silly little bird.”
When she turned, her scowl was almost distracting enough to hide the glimmer of wetness at her lashes. “You are so…so…so hateful!”
“Don’t pretend as if you want to travel in the most indirect way to another front of battle. With me, no less.” It annoyed me when the words came out with a hint of insecurity. Gods damn Lucia and the honeyed lies she’d implanted into my mind. I swallowed, feeling no small amount of guilt for damning someone long dead. Crossing my arms, I leaned against the stone wall, watching Nor’s eyes narrow.
She studied me for several long minutes, tilting her head to the side. I thought she was going to make some sassy remark, but it seemed she decided against it when she blurted, “Will there be horses?”
“…Yes?”
“Then I doubt your ability to keep me safe. I have no experience with the animal, and it is likely I will die beneath the great beast before any assassination attempt.”
I stared at her for a moment. Chin tilted, her strong nose was pointed upward, looking as much a courtier as those who cowered deep within the palace. Spouses of council members, bejeweled in their finery, embroidered their fears in a comfortable sitting room while soldiers died to keep them safe. Nor gave a haughty shake of her head, mouth a straight, thin line. And then I laughed. I didn’t allow it to grow loud, the atmosphere and timing not right to truly let go. But still. It eased a weight I didn’t know I was carrying.
“You will not die by horse. I can assure you of that one thing, Nor.”
“Do not laugh at me,” she said. Her scowl deepened the line between her eyes. A single tendril of hair fell into her face, a hint of untidiness which I relished. Her polished bun and crisp demeanor painted her in sharp edges, and I liked my glimpse of softness as the dark brown strand caressed her forehead. She rarely showed that side to me, and I usually had to steal it in moments when she didn’t know I was around. My trance broke when she blew it out of her face. “A horse in a tunnel? We are just as likely to die by some—some stampede. Will they even be able to see?”
“We will have torches,” I said slowly. When she shivered, I didn’t allow my eyes to move to her shoulder. Though her burns were caused by hot oil and a madman, she’d nearly died in Emma’s divine fire a few months ago. I could imagine flames would unsettle her. Against my better judgment, I elbowed her gently and said, “I will keep you safe from those, too.”
“Skies, I hate you,” she said, walking past me down the proper hallway.
“Make sure you hate me from the palace gardens at dawn. Hate me with a packed bag and more warm clothes than you think you’ll need. I expect the weather won’t be pleasant once we surface. Don’t be late with your hatred, Nor.”
She didn’t turn to look back at me, but continued marching down the hallway with her head high and back straight. Since she started helping the dying and injured, I hadn’t seen her with her hair down at all, and it added to her stern countenance. She shivered, and the way she pulled her cloak around her—the fabric nearly threadbare—had no impact on my decisions that night.
The doubt that she had a good set of boots didn’t bring me to the cobbler; I had my own pair to pick up after they’d been re-soled. I certainly didn’t do it for her when I found a refurbished women’s pair he was selling that I thought would fit her.
The less whining from her, the better. I was simply looking out for myself.
And when I stopped by the tailor and paid an exorbitant fee to procure fur-lined cloaks for the two of us, it was only because the tailor had extra fabric and it would be no hassle. It had nothing to gods damn do with her.
Nothing.