Chapter 70
DEWALT
“Wait, Nor,” I called out, unable to let her walk through the door. “Please.”
“I’ve been waiting, Dewalt,” she said, voice soft as her hand hovered over the door handle. “I can’t keep waiting for you.”
It was that finality in her voice, the curve of her shoulders as she gave up, that propelled me out of my seat. Cane forgotten, I had to stop her from leaving, and I nearly fell into her as my foot dragged on the ground.
“You don’t understand, Nor.” Breathless, I planted my hand on the door to keep her from opening it.
I’d gotten what I wanted. I’d told her there wasn’t a future for us, that everything had been plotted and schemed by the gods or Lucia or whoever the fuck else. So why did it feel like I was dying?
She slowly turned, and her red-rimmed eyes gutted me. Her hair brushed over her neck and shoulder, and I desperately wanted to place my lips on the soft skin there, on the smooth skin of her scarring on the other side. I’d never wanted anything more, but I couldn’t. No matter my feelings for her, it wouldn’t be fair. Nor deserved someone who was worthy. Nor deserved someone who would keep her safe, who could give her everything she ever needed and everything she didn’t know she wanted. She deserved better than a coward.
“I do understand, though. I really do.” She reached up, her hand cool as it cupped the side of my face.
I exhaled, harsh. “I’m terrified,” I admitted.
A tilt of her head, a watery smile. “Who isn’t?” she asked, and before I could move, before I could breathe, she moved to her tiptoes and planted the softest kiss to my lips. “Goodbye.”
“How?” I asked, hand still planted on the door so she couldn’t leave. I was aware it wasn’t my best behavior, but I couldn’t bear the thought of her walking through that door one last time. Once she was gone, I knew in my heart I would never be the same. “How do you...even when you’re afraid, how do you...” I couldn’t find the words.
“The alternative is far worse,” she said. The lamplight reflected in her unshed tears, catching every shade of her eyes. Her brows gathered, and her voice came out low. “You wanted to die that day with the shifter, didn’t you?”
Closing my eyes, I dipped my chin in affirmation. I’d been so gods damned tired. And guilty. That moment I’d shared with her in Ven’s chambers, the way Lucia’s portrait had tipped over and reminded me of what I’d lost—I’d never felt more guilty in my fucking life.
“Why?” Her hand was on my bicep, thumb brushing in gentle movements.
“Easier,” I grunted, but she could tell I was lying. Amusement, tainted by a sadness I’d put there, filled her eyes. I decided I owed her my honesty, even if we’d never speak again after she left this room. “Felt guilty.”
“Because of me?”
“Because of you.”
“Do you still feel guilty?”
“Not for that reason, no.”
“What reason, Dewalt?” she asked, free hand lifting up to tuck a strand of my hair behind my ear. Gods, I didn’t deserve her gentle touch—not after I’d put that heartbreak in her eyes.
“I should’ve told you about what Lucia said sooner. I-I was selfish. I didn’t want to let you go.” I’d never shown anyone this much vulnerability. Nor had healed so fucking much of my heart, but she’d revealed the hidden wounds too. The last thing I wanted to do was expose her to the rot beneath.
“Then don’t,” she said, biting her lip as if she wished she hadn’t said it.
I hesitated, breath going shallow. And before I could stop myself, before I could stop them, words spilled out of me. Hot and harsh, I knew the question was the sum of all my fears.
“What if I lose you?”
“Oh, Dewalt,” she said, and my heart hammered between my ribs at the sight of her. “But what if you don’t?”
So many futures I’d stopped myself from imagining flashed within my mind. A sun-warmed bed with her wrapped in the sheets. A summer of teaching her to swim, her skin beaded with water. Winter solstice with my family, my newest nephew or niece bundled in her arms. Her irritated sighs and her bewildered laughter. All the things I would never have. My chest caved in, and my eyes filled with tears. Mouth open, I could only stare at the woman before me. Nor deserved everything I’d imagined for her and more. But could it really be me who gave it to her?
She shook her head, frowning over the agony I clearly felt. She breathed deeply, then crossed her arms. As if she was protecting herself. From me .
“Without Lucia, without her schemes and-and without her fucking words,” she started, going very still when that rage-filled curse slipped past her lips, “what would you choose? Would you choose me?” Her voice shook, and no matter how angry she looked, no matter how deeply those brows furrowed, she couldn’t hide the hope in her eyes.
I couldn’t breathe. I would rather have died a thousand deaths than dash that hope. And in looking into those beautiful eyes, the ones which saw down into the heart of me and understood, I found my own hope reflected there. Like a prism, she shined her own light onto me. Since the beginning, she hadn’t danced around what so many others had for so long. Nor had called me on my bullshit and cared for me anyway. She’d had her entire life shifted and turned upside down, and yet she’d handled it with the grace of a queen, never losing who she was. The truth was, it was me who didn’t have a choice. I’d said it that night I’d warmed her body against mine.
She was an inevitability.
Without my notice, my fear had shifted. The potential of losing her to the eternal lands one day was abstract, something far away. The real likelihood of losing her the moment she stepped out that door knocked me on my ass. The loss of the warm mornings and cold nights of my imagination, the exasperated sighs and the indolent kisses. Something like a sob ripped up my throat over the idea that those daydreams could be real—suddenly tangible, I could have them. If only I was brave enough to take them. Despite my fear, despite the knowledge that I could choose her today and lose her tomorrow, I couldn’t deny her.
And I couldn’t deny my heart—not any longer.
“I’d choose you. I do choose you.”
She didn’t move, didn’t breathe, only stared up at me. Her dark hair was loose around her face, and her cheeks pinked beneath my gaze. She was the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen. And yet, she didn’t speak, a storm of emotions on her face.
“You told me you wouldn’t beg for my love,” I said, carefully lowering myself to my knees before her. “I made no such promise, songbird.”
A tear rolled down her cheek, and then she smiled. I would remember that smile for the rest of my life. And then she was crying openly as she cupped my face with both hands. Just like she’d done in the tunnel after leaving Astana, Nor bent over, pressing gentle lips to my forehead.
“You’ve had it, Dewalt. For so very long.”
Tears fell down my own cheeks as I stood. Her smile, that beautiful gods damned smile, was a golden light as she laughed. It was pure joy which escaped her as I leaned in. And then I laughed too, the feeling bubbly and warm. Resting my forehead against hers, I wrapped her tightly in my arms, unwilling to let her go. Nothing else mattered. My fear, my guilt, my grief—all of it was gone when I wrapped my arms around her.
“You are more than I have ever deserved.”
“Don’t say that,” she whispered. “You are proof the gods still listen to my prayers.”
Knowing what that meant to her, knowing she’d prayed for me, I couldn’t hold myself back any longer. Lifting her, I carried her to the desk. Slow and deliberate steps kept me from tripping, my gait different than what I was used to, but I managed. Her arms were wrapped around my neck, and I never wanted her to let go. Gently, I set her down before tipping her chin up to mine. Closing the distance, I pressed my lips to hers. They were as soft as I’d remembered—from the earth lodge and the tavern before that.
Her kiss was just as soft as that very first one—the one which had started me down the path of a brutal yearning. The kiss that I’d thought about upon waking from death, the kiss which had been a source of guilt and joy, the kiss which had been my unraveling. She’d unspooled me with it, and here, now, she was winding me back together. She deepened the kiss, tongue sliding against mine as I opened for her.
My heart raced, and my palms grew sweaty as her tongue explored. When she nipped at my lip, confidence and impatience warring within her, I almost had to stop to breathe. Hanwen’s ass, I was nervous . I panted, my mind racing as I thought about what this would mean for her.
The shift she wore was thin, and with a shaking hand, I lifted the hem, sliding my hand onto her hip. I hadn’t realized her scars continued all the way down her body, but the texture of her skin there told me just how far-reaching the wounds had been. Blackened rage coiled in my stomach over what her sire had done to her, but I pushed it aside. That hot anger had no place here, not while I touched her with tenderness.
When she didn’t stop the path of my hands, I took her lack of reaction as encouragement. Sliding upward, I idly brushed my thumb over her rib cage as my other hand gently held her neck. Tilting her head just where I wanted it, I moved my lips to her jaw. She smelled good—bergamot and ginger. I inhaled her, the intoxicating smell helping to soothe my nerves. That fear of not being enough for her, of losing her too, was almost too much to bear. Knowing I chose that fear willingly, unable to face the alternative of not choosing it, would have to be enough. I kissed down her neck as I used my other hand to pull her toward me, craving her proximity.
“I’m sorry for everything,” I said against her skin. “For pushing you away.”
“You’re here now, so hush,” she chided, and I couldn’t help my smile.
“Fine. I have far more interesting things I’d like to do with my mouth, anyway, songbird.”
She huffed a laugh, but her lips parted as I hiked her chemise up above her hips. I put a hand on either of her thighs and spread her legs wide.
“Fuck, Nor.”
Just as I realized she wore nothing beneath the garment, she grabbed my hips and pulled me closer. She bit down on my lip as I pressed against her. Those slightly sharpened teeth pinched, and my cock twitched in my breeches. I kissed her back for a moment, allowing her to feel what she was doing to me, before moving away. As I lowered myself to my knees, I held her hand in mine, pressing light kisses to her palm and the inside of her wrist.
“You know, I think you must enjoy being on your knees before me,” she said. Though I grinned, happy that my sense of humor was rubbing off on her, I gently bit down on her inner thigh. She yelped, even as I licked and kissed the sting out of it.
“It might be my new favorite place,” I said, smirking up at her. I grabbed her by the thighs and slid her closer to the edge of the desk. Fuck, she looked delicious, flushed and glistening. Part of me knew the moment I saw her that I wanted to taste her. I kissed my way up her inner thigh, lightly pressing my lips to soft, warm skin. As I slid my hand along the outside of her leg, I noticed the change in texture of her skin and paused when she tensed.
“It’s that whole side of my body,” she said, speaking quickly, as if she couldn’t get the words out fast enough. “I know they’re unsettling, but?—”
“Now, who needs to hush?” I retorted, and her tinkling laugh spilled over my skin. “Is there anywhere I need to avoid so I don’t hurt you?”
“No,” she whispered, and I pressed a kiss to her knee before I slid her legs farther apart. A moment later, when I slid my tongue clear up the center of her, she let out a breathy sigh. “Skies, that is interesting.”
Her hands threaded through my hair, fists clenching in the strands. I dipped my tongue inside her and slid it up, circling her clit and nibbling. I did it again, in a consistent pattern. Sliding from the bottom, up to dip just inside her, and then back up to her clit to nibble and swirl my tongue against it.
She let out a soft, breathy moan while she kept one hand in my hair, the other sliding down to lightly scratch the back of my neck. I nearly purred into her; it felt so good. She was so wet, and I was eager to please her. I slid my tongue back down, circling her entrance. I had one hand on her thigh, spreading her open, and with my other hand I took my thumb and rubbed it against her clit, applying light pressure as I dipped my tongue inside her again. Her hands jerked in my hair, and she let out a low moan as I teased her, circling her entrance and then dipping in.
“Skies, that feels so good.” Her thigh clenched beneath my hand as I continued rubbing and licking. I switched the position of my mouth and hand, moving my lips up to suck her clit, tugging hard, while my fingertips gently played at her opening. I paused, taking my hand from her thigh and pulling her gown higher, and I kissed her right beneath her navel. She made a low sound in her throat, and I wanted to consume it, like I wanted to consume her.
“Do you want my fingers, Nor? Or do you want my cock?”
She groaned. “Both.”
“Greedy.” I chuckled. “How about fingers first, to make sure you’re ready for me. Does that sound like a good plan?” She nodded, letting out the sweetest whimper. I swirled my tongue around her navel and left a soft kiss there. “Words, pigeon. They’re important.”
“That sounds like a good plan, Walt. ”
I chuckled, kissing lower. Without sinking back down from her stomach, I slid one finger into her heat and found her so wet and tight. She wiggled a bit, leaning back on the desk to arch her hips towards me. She was clenching tightly around my finger, and I knew she was probably nervous. I kissed down her stomach, past a soft patch of hair, down to her waiting clit. I licked gently, just holding my one finger inside her, waiting for her to relax. I used my other hand to slowly rub her thigh and up her side, hoping to calm her nerves, and calming my own at the same time. She’d never been touched like this before. I was the very first, and a primitive part of me grunted in satisfaction, knowing I’d be her last.
Fuck, was this what it was supposed to be like? It almost felt like I was a virgin. I’d been afraid it would never feel like this again. Like everything revolved around this moment. With Nor, everything felt like a gods damn risk, and I was finally brave enough to take it. Her body began to ease, and I slid my finger out slowly, sucking on her clit as I did, before I pushed back in. She was wet and more than willing, and so gods damn tight. Clenching around my fingers, I worried she was uncomfortable.
“You’re nervous,” I said. “I can do just this all night long—nothing more. I could lick you for days, if you’d let me.”
She panted, and her mouth dropped open in a sigh as I rubbed her clit with my thumb.
“A little nervous, but please don’t stop. I want everything from you,” she whispered, and then slid her hand down to my free one. “All of you.”
She squeezed my hand, and I did it back, while I pulled my finger out slowly. I slid my tongue back down, trying to make sure she was as wet as possible before I continued. She relaxed, spreading her legs wider for me, and my finger slid in easier. Her breathing was slower too, and her trust and calm for me renewed my purpose. I lapped against her clit with my tongue, ravenously, as I slid in and out of her. Her breathing got faster, but not from nerves, and she was panting and writhing against the desk beneath her within a few moments.
“Does that feel good?” I spoke against her.
“More.” Her voice was a moan.
“Only if you ask me nicely, Nor.” I decided I should take advantage of this, as she loved to sass me. Something told me she’d be much sweeter while she drew pleasure from my tongue.
“Please, I would like more, Your Grace.” I couldn’t help it as I barked a laugh, and I was rewarded with a faint giggle. Gods, she was perfect. She was funny in a witty, sarcastic way, and I could hardly believe she was mine. As I slid a second finger inside her, pushing farther than I had before, she let out a deeper moan and crushed my hand in hers. She bucked against me, a far cry from the woman who was tense and nervous only moments before. I pumped into her, utilizing her enthusiasm and her wetness that nearly dripped down my hand.
Fuck.
“You’re taking my fingers so well, songbird. Almost ready for more,” I said, and her moan nearly made me come in my gods damned pants. She grunted and started panting, writhing against me as I filled her. Her grip on my hair tightened. I used my tongue for a moment, lapping the spot where my fingers disappeared inside her, before I returned my attention to her clit.
“Skies above, Dewalt. Stop, it feels too good.” Instead, I squeezed her hand to reassure her. “My legs are shaking.”
“That’s the point.” I kissed her gently, slowing my movements, knowing that her hand in my hair would easily pull me off her if she truly wanted me to stop. “You’re close. Just breathe through it. Remember how good it felt, Nor?” She whimpered and nodded before I returned my attention to that sweet, sensitive spot, pumping my fingers inside her as I did it. I could feel her clenching around me, and I knew just how close she was. Her breathing was rough, and she pulled me closer against her.
I nibbled and sucked on her clit, pumping into her wetness, and she finally crashed, her legs shaking and a high-pitched moan escaping those beautiful lips. I would never tire of seeing her fall apart. Her thighs twitched, pressing closer to either side of my head, and I slowed my movements. I felt her pulse around my fingertips while I gently licked her, easing her through the lingering pleasure. She almost slid right off the desk, and I held her steady the best I could considering how tightly she was still squeezing my free hand. When I slowly withdrew my fingers, she groaned, and actually did slide off the desk, lowering to her knees on the wooden floor and collapsing against me.
I held her tight, wrapping one arm around her waist as I brushed her hair over her shoulder. When she murmured my name against my neck, I decided I’d never heard a more beautiful sound. I sank back on my heels. I could’ve stayed there, her warm body in my arms, and built a home. She was shaking slightly, and I gently pulled her head away from my neck to look into her eyes.
“Are you all right, Honor?” I whispered it, the name soft on my lips. I didn’t know why I used her full name, just that it felt right. Like I’d seen all of her and wanted her for every part. And I did; I did want every part of her. I wanted her sarcasm, her wit, her anger; I wanted her patience, her protectiveness, and her tenderness. I wanted to know all of her parts like they were my own.
And I’d never wanted that with anyone before. Not even Lucia; I’d imagined a home with her—children and normalcy. But with Nor, I imagined a life ; unpredictable and joyful and hard—all at once. Just like she’d said. I’d imagined love . When she gently pressed her lips to mine, threading her shaky fingers behind my neck, I couldn’t wait to voice words which had been waiting all along.
“I’m very good.” She pulled back and gave me a sheepish smile as she whispered her answer. “Thank you.”
“It was my…honor.” I said, instead of the words battling for freedom. I tried so damn hard to keep a straight face—really I did—but my grin broke free. Her eyebrows shot up, and her mouth dropped open.
“You’re not funny, you know,” she said through a laugh, slapping at my chest.
Nor stood, adjusting her nightgown, and her eyes met mine. She swallowed, and before I could ask if something was wrong, she lifted the hem of the gown. When she turned, placing the shift on top of the parchment we’d made a mess of, she revealed more of her scars to me. Mottled, slightly pinker skin wrapped from the outside of her right thigh, back across the swell of her perfect ass, and up her back. Even Faxon, the man who’d sold Elora to Declan, hadn’t done something so horrendous to his daughter. I wished I could raise Declan from the dead and kill him with my bare hands. I gently reached out, touching the discolored skin, and she tensed. Using my other hand to hold her hip, I gently traced my thumb across her scars, and she let out a hiss.
“I’m sorry, does that hurt?” I slid my hand that traced the marked skin up to her other hip, not wanting to cause her pain. She wasn’t moving, her hands loose at her sides as she stood there. I was impressed she wasn’t trying to cover up, though I supposed I did just have my tongue inside her.
“No. I just—you’re only the, what, third person to ever see them? My mother and the queen. And now you. It’s a bit...scary.”
I squeezed her hips as I leaned down, pressing a kiss to where the soft met the rough. She inhaled a deep breath, and I placed another kiss just above the first one. There were some darker spots that stood alone on her soft, unmarred skin. I tried not to think about why, tried not to imagine hot oil pouring down over a child, a rogue droplet splashing away from the rest. Gods. I shut my eyes tight as I pressed a kiss against those spots. She’d worn the marks on her body and the marks they left on her soul for decades, and she didn’t let them turn her ugly in any way.
Nor was beautiful—in mind, body, and soul.
And she was mine.
I kissed farther up, my fingertips sliding up her sides. I wanted to keep worshiping her with my lips, showing her how I felt about every part of her. Leaning forward, I continued my path. My lips moved over the small of her back and my hands roamed up her hips to her waist. I pressed my lips to the lowest mark, just at the top of her ass, unable to stop myself. One of my thumbs gently slid past the marked skin as I moved upward. The discoloration stopped almost exactly at her spine, one side paler smooth skin, and the other the evidence of the evil that had happened to her. And yet here she stood, whole and healthy—mine.
“You’re a dream, Nor. One of those you mourn to leave.”
I stood slowly as she laughed, bashfulness and something else forcing a joke past her lips. “More like a nightmare.”
I didn’t like it. How many cruel fools had said things about her scars in the past? How many rude comments had she withstood to create the cool armor of humor that she donned so easily?
I kissed the top of her spine, gently moving my hands down her arms, one smooth and soft, one textured and mottled. The duality of her skin matched the personalities she showed to the world. She hid her scars like she hid her anger and frustration from everyone else. But from the very beginning, she’d spoken her mind to me, matching my tone with hers, my anger with hers. She felt safe to show those parts to me, because I had them too.
How could I have ever thought I’d be able to walk away from her?
I turned her gently and looked down into her eyes, wide and trusting, as I cupped her face.
“You’re my dream and my nightmare. You scare the fuck out of me, Nor. But I don’t want to wake up.”
She stared at me for a moment, and I thought maybe I’d fucked it all up by saying that. But then she threw her arms over my shoulders and jumped, wrapping her legs around my waist. I stumbled backwards, struggling to plant my foot, as she pressed her lips against mine. I gave a surprised laugh, and she pulled away.
“Make love to me. Make me yours.”
My mouth went dry, and I nearly dropped her. “Are you sure you really want that?”
“I can’t remember a time when I didn’t.” She tugged my lip into her mouth with her teeth, then sucked. I glanced around the study in a panic. I didn’t want to take her for the first time standing in the middle of this poorly furnished room, but I didn’t know if I had much of a choice. The small sofa in the corner certainly wouldn’t withstand our weight. “I’m not leaving this room until after I’ve had you, so figure it out, Walt. ”
My dick was hurting, straining against my pants, aching to push into that heat just on the other side of the fabric. Desperate to touch her.
Touch.
I had an idea.
“I don’t want this to be where you remember what’s about to happen. Can I do something, songbird?” She nodded, and I pressed my lips against hers. Where my hands cupped her ass, where my lips met hers, I surged my divinity toward her. I willed it to do what I wanted, creating something simple so I could keep it up while I was occupied. I wished I could include myself, but after everything had happened, I wasn’t sure my divinity had restored enough to expend such energy. When I broke the kiss, she just looked at me, confused.
“What did you do?”
I smirked as I sank down to my knees, still holding her wrapped around me. When she caught sight of what I’d weaved in her mind, she threw her head back and laughed. I planted a kiss to the center of her throat before she giggled, my lips tickling her sensitive skin.
“You could have woven anything into my mind. A bed, Dewalt! And you conjured a rug instead.”
“There’s candles too!” I gestured around the room, where hundreds of candles would have appeared in her mind. “Besides, it’s not a rug, Nor. Look at it.” Her gaze darted to the ground, what still only appeared as wooden planks for me, and sniffled.
“The tapestry.” Her voice was quiet, and while I didn’t want her to feel any sadness, the sight of a tear in her eye made me feel proud. When I’d accompanied her to the temple last winter, and she’d stared at the tapestry that had been her mother’s, I hadn’t thought much of it. All I had seen was something that cost far too much when her mother had provided far too little. But it had meant so much to her. I’d never forgotten it. “It looks just like it. How—Oh, heavens, Dewalt. Are you going to have sex with me on my mother’s tapestry ?” she shouted into my mind, and I choked in embarrassment.
“I can get rid?—”
“No, be quiet. It’s thoughtful and perfect. It’s also a bit funny, and I want nothing more than…” Her cheeks reddened, and her mouth twisted into the cutest gods damned grin. “I want nothing more than for you to fuck me on my mother’s tapestry.”
I choked on a laugh before I kissed her again. “Every time you curse, my dick twitches. Keep doing it.”
“Where is that fucking thing? Get it out.” She bit her lip and smiled, looking at me mischievously, and gods, was I in trouble. She unwrapped her legs from around my waist and began to situate herself on the ground.
“Hang on. The tapestry isn’t real—let me lay my shirt down. I don’t want you to get a splinter in your ass.” I unbuttoned my shirt as fast as I could, and when I finally got it off, she snatched it and threw it down between us. Next thing I knew, her hands were spreading across the planes of my chest, her fingertips delicately tracing my scar.
The scar from the blade which had saved me.
I knew it was Emma; I knew it was her who really gave me the new life. But the blade was the reason for it. The blade was the reason I saw Lucia and found the closure I needed. That blade was the reason I woke up thinking about Nor’s lips.
While she traced my chest, I pulled my pants off, balancing on one knee and then the other, before I was just as naked as she was.
She took me in, her eyes skimming over my cock, before she tilted her head back and whispered, “Gods above, did you really have to make him so big?”
I chuckled before I pulled her closer to me. “You don’t think you can handle it, songbird?” I raised a brow as I brushed her hair behind her shoulder. Her gaze narrowed on me, and her eyes slid back down my body, staring right at the ‘it’ in question.
She reached down, gently dragging her fingers down my sensitive skin, and I felt my dick somehow get harder than it already was. She looked up at me through her lashes. “Do you think I can?”
“Mmm, I know you can.” I slid my fingertips through the delicate skin between her legs and found she was still wet. Even so, I gently pushed two inside her and pumped a few times. She tilted her head back and gave a soft groan. Though she was slick and ready, she was nervous, and she was so tight and I was so, well, big. I sat down on my shirt in front of her, and pulled her into my lap so she straddled me. “Here, you control it this way. If you want. I, uh, I took the tonic. Saski spiked my tea with it the morning we left.”
Nor snorted. “Of course she did.”
I leaned down and kissed those pert little breasts, pulling one tiny, dark nipple into my mouth. She let out a soft sigh as she put both of her hands on my shoulders. I kissed up her neck, kissed her jaw, kissed her chin, then landed on her lips. She whimpered into my mouth as I reached between us, rubbing where she was wet with desire, and I stroked it on my cock, making myself slick. I used my other hand to pull her up by the ass so she hovered over me. When I positioned myself at her entrance, I swallowed and took a breath.
This was it; there was no going back. I was surprisingly breathless when I spoke, meaning more than what I said. “Are you ready?”
Nor nodded, and I used my other hand on her hip, guiding her down so I rested just against her entrance, ready for her to sink down on me. She took my face in her hands and kissed me as she slid down my cock. Her mouth was soft and plump and perfect. A soft cry fell from her lips, and I gently caressed her hair, nervous to touch her as she adjusted to me. Sliding gentle fingertips over her neck, I wished I could make it easier for her. Nor moved slowly, so painfully fucking slow and so tight . She tensed, and I did my best to soothe her, running my hands down her back, up her arms, kissing her gently. She exhaled in my mouth, and I kissed her through the pain.
“You’re so perfect,” I whispered, and every muscle in my body tensed as she shifted her hips. She dropped down further, almost taking all of me, and the moan which escaped her made my balls tighten. Hands on her hips, I gently pulled her down, fully engulfing myself in that tight heat. She panted as she looked down, seeing herself flush against me.
“Skies,” she breathed, and I smiled before reaching between us to rub her clit, eliciting a high-pitched whimper from her lips. She was tight as hell, and her inner muscles fluttered around me. Beautiful fucking torture. I continued moving my thumb over that spot, my other hand rubbing her back, until she relaxed. I watched her chest rise and fall, her breaths getting slower and calmer.
I leaned forward, placing a kiss right below her ear before I whispered into it, “I can get you off like this, if you want, and I’ll love feeling your sweet pussy clench around me. Or you can move, songbird.” Her entire body shuddered, and I put my hands on her hips, guiding her gently, as I tugged on her lower lip with my teeth. She caught on quickly and rolled her body on mine, and I groaned into her mouth, causing her to smile against me.
“Like this? Am I doing it right, Walt ?”
I growled. “Don’t tease me your first time.” I tightened my grip and guided her movements more firmly. She didn’t seem to be in discomfort, and I was doing my best to let her lead things, but I wasn’t perfect. She let out a low moan, and I knew it was because it felt good, not out of pain. I chased that moan with my lips, eagerly seeking out her mouth. Her soft lips brokered no argument as my tongue slid past. She rocked on me, elbows tucked in, as I slid my hands all over her body, avoiding the worst of her scars in case I rubbed too hard. I knew I was close to my breaking point, about to take her and make her mine, and the way I ran my hands over her reflected that.
She broke away from my mouth, panting a breath. Mouth open, her hair was loose and wild, and her brazen lust lit me on fire. Pride in the love this woman had for me, the sweet songbird who was mine and mine alone, filled my chest. I slid one hand up to cup her breast and gently pinch her nipple. She gasped, glaring at me over the surprise, and I kissed her right on that scrunched nose.
“I hope you know, sometimes I make you angry just to see how fucking cute you look when you glare at me.”
“Well, now I know so it won’t—” I lifted my hips a bit to meet her, difficult in this position, and she groaned, a deep and delicious sound. “So it won’t work anymore.”
“Oh, I’ll still be making you mad. I’ll just get to kiss you after.” Her face softened, and she froze on me.
“You won’t disappear on me again, will you?” She slid her hands down my chest, and I couldn’t help but notice the pain in her eyes as she looked at my scar. It was a painful memory, for both of us, and I wanted to burn it off me. My heart sank into my gut, knowing she feared my mind would change. She didn’t trust me to be permanent.
“Never.” I wrapped my arms around her, laying her down on the shirt I’d spread out on the floor. She frowned as I slipped out of her, but I had to ensure she understood. “I thought I made it clear I’m not going anywhere.”
“No, you did; I just wanted to make sure. I’m glad, for a few reasons.” Her face took on a serious expression, and I couldn’t help but laugh. Her hair was spread out on the floor around her. A gods damned vision. She laid there with her knees up and her hands lightly resting on her stomach. She looked so proper even when naked and waiting for my cock, and I felt my heart speed up.
I crawled over her, bracketing my hands on either side of her head. “What are those reasons, Honor?” I grabbed myself, notching my dick at her entrance, slippery with need.
“Well, for one thing, it would have been a torment to see you after. I wouldn’t have been able to look at you again without thinking about how you kissed my bottom. I can’t wait to tell anyone who will listen, honestly. Perhaps I’ll write Thyra.”
“I swear, on the old gods and the new, if you?—”
Her laugh was everything I’d ever dreamed of, and I bent down over her. Peppering her neck and chest with kisses meant to tickle, she started squirming, and I’d never been so happy in all my life.
I slid into her on a sigh, and she arched up into me. Gods, I wanted to pound into her, but I knew I’d be finished far too soon if I let myself move the way I wanted. Besides, she deserved slow, aching perfection for her first time. I kissed her deeply as I pushed inside her. She spread her legs farther apart, making it easier on me, and I set a steady pace, trying to stay gentle.
“There is no going back, Nor. It’s you. It’s only you.” I buried my face into her neck, feeling more emotional than I’d have expected, and when she gently played with my hair as I moved within her, I breathed her name in her ear. I whispered things to her I’d been wanting her to know for months. And when I told her I loved her, that there was no life for me without her, she adjusted so she could see me, tears lining her lashes as she said it back. The beautiful woman who pissed me off and still made me laugh like no one else, who had been through so much, loved me too. The woman who cried over strangers but never herself. The woman who had become everything to me.
I felt that tingling in the base of my spine, about to come so much faster than usual, overcome with the emotions I was feeling, and I slowed down, wanting to make it good for her. She reached up, tracing my face, my love and adoration reflected in her own expression. Her lips parted, her brows meeting and raising as her breaths hastened.
“I think—I think I’m going to—” I could feel her tensing around me, and I hoped to the gods she was right, because I knew I wasn’t going to last any longer with her squeezing me like that. I kissed her, stealing her words, sealing a promise to her lips. She broke from the kiss, panting and moaning, a high-pitched and delicate sound, as she came around my cock. Hearing her pushed me over the edge, and I thrust into her, motions jerky as I held back. There would be plenty of time to allow my passion to rule me, but it didn’t stop me from filling her so deep with me that she couldn’t deny I wanted this forever.
I collapsed on top of her, still inside her, as I panted. She traced her fingernails down my back, sending goosebumps over my body, and I shuddered.
“Your candles went out, Walt.”
I laughed, body shaking on top of her, and I pressed a kiss to those smiling lips. “I was a little distracted. How about next time, pigeon, I’ll light real ones?”
“Do you even own that many candles?”
“Nor, I don’t own anything. I don’t even own a home, but I suppose I’ll have to fix that now, won’t I?”
She nodded, tears in her eyes despite the smile on her face. “I’ve never really had one of those. But I’d like to make mine with you.”