Chapter Ten
CHAPTER TEN
HUNTER
I catch Lennon before she collapses to the floor. There’s a loud gasp and then she’s hyperventilating, unable to catch her breath. I’m on my knees, holding her up when the officer’s words repeat in my head. They don’t seem real. They can’t be. I saw him this morning before work, and now he’s… gone .
My throat threatens to close, but I push back the feeling. With Lennon falling apart in my arms, I try to be strong for her.
“Lennon, breathe,” I remind her softly as she gasps for air. She’s going to pass out if she doesn’t.
After a moment, she relaxes in my arms, and I look back at the two men.
“What happens now?” I ask him. “His parents…do they know?”
“He’s been transported to the medical examiner’s office, and someone there will notify his next of kin. They’ll discuss with them what happens next.”
“Wait. I should tell them. They’re like family to me, and Brandon was their only child.”
The officers look at each other again, but don’t argue with me about it. “We can’t tell you not to call them, but the staff may have already. The family will need to properly ID him and make arrangements from there.”
I nod, but that’s not going to stop me. They give us their sincerest apologies and condolences before leaving.
Lennon buckles over with her hands covering her face. I manage to shut the door, then I hook one arm under her knees, the other behind her back, and pick her up. She wraps her arms around me, burying her face in my neck as I carry her to the couch and carefully set her down.
“Lennon…” I whisper, brushing blond hair away from her face so I can look at her. “I need your phone to call them. Mine’s dead.”
After a few seconds, she reaches into her pocket and hands it over. She unlocks it, and I start going through her contacts, looking for Mr. and Mrs. Locke’s number.
“Do you want to speak to them after?” I ask softly.
She shakes her head as tears roll down her cheeks. “I can’t,” she chokes out.
“It’s okay. I’ll be right back.” I don’t want to leave her, but I also don’t want her to overhear the conversation, so I walk to my room where I can speak to them privately.
Everything inside me is numb, shocked, devastated . How could this happen? My best friend. He’s too young to die. He had so many dreams and aspirations, with a full life ahead of him. Why the hell did he have to go? Fuck .
I don’t know how to make this phone call. I’ve met his parents dozens of times at barbecues, celebrations, and have even attended family dinners. How the hell am I supposed to tell a mother her son is dead? I wish I could, at least, do this in person, but I can’t leave Lennon right now, and the medical examiner’s office could be calling them any minute.
Choking up, I try my best to get my shit together before I call. It’s late, and they’re going to know something’s wrong the moment they realize it’s me and I’m calling from Lennon’s phone. I manage to push my feelings down so I can hit their number, but then the doorbell rings again.
Assuming it’s the delivery guy, I ignore it. He’ll get the hint and leave the food at the door. But then I hear shouting.
Lennon.
Shit .
Rushing out of my room, I sprint down the hallway and wrap my arms around Lennon’s waist and pull her away. She’s screaming at the guy and saying he forgot her soda and that he’s a fucking moron. The poor man is frozen in place, and I don’t take the time to explain before grabbing a hysterical Lennon and shutting the door.
“Can you believe that guy?” she says the moment I set her down on her feet. She waves a hand in the air and scowls. “How hard is it to bring what I ordered? Idiot.”
My brows rise as I try to make eye contact with her. She’s muttering about her food order moments after she was a sobbing mess.
“Lennon…” I tread carefully. “You’re in shock. Let’s go sit.” I reach for her hand, but she yanks it away.
“You haven’t been nice to me since the day we met. No need to start now,” she hisses, taking her bag of food and going to the living room.
Holy fuck.
I brush a hand through my hair, trying to figure out what to do. Before it gets any later, I need to call his parents, so I do.
“Hello?” Brandon’s mother answers in a sleepy voice. “Lennon?”
“No, Mrs. Locke, it’s Hunter. I’m using her phone,” I explain.
“Oh, Hunter! Hey, kiddo. Why are you calling so late?”
She doesn’t know that in about three seconds, my words will change her entire life. I don’t want to be the person to deliver the news no mother should ever have to hear, and it’s going to destroy me. Brandon was an amazing guy, and he came from incredible parents, something I’ve always been envious of. Neither deserves to be given this kind of bad news.
“It’s Brandon,” I start, inhaling deeply so I don’t break down before I get the words out. “He was in a motorcycle accident.”
I hear the rush of air she sucks in before she responds. “Hunter, please tell me my son is okay.” Her shaky voice rattles through me, and I hear the fear in her tone. “Please, Hunter,” she pleads, begging to hear positive news that I can’t deliver.
I squeeze my eyes shut. “I’m so sorry, Mrs. Locke. I wish I could.”
Pinching the bridge of my nose, I force back my tears. I’m trying to be strong for his mother right now, but I can’t handle hearing her heart-wrenching sobs.
I stay silent for a few minutes and listen to her wake her husband. She cries that her only son is gone. This moment between them is gut-wrenching as I hear Mr. Locke choke up. I can’t find the strength to end the call, not wanting to leave them in this state.
Once she returns to the phone, I tell her that the examiner’s office will be contacting them to discuss the details.
“How’s Lennon doing?” she asks shortly after, and I can tell she’s trying to compose herself.
“I’m not sure. We found out less than an hour ago. I’ll take care of her, so please don’t worry.” Even if Lennon doesn’t want me around, I won’t let her push me away when I know she’ll need me just as much as I’ll need her. We won’t be able to get through this alone or by arguing with each other.
“I appreciate you telling me as soon as possible, Hunter,” she says between sniffling. “Once I hear from them, I’ll let you know what we find out.”
I can’t even fathom having to watch my best friend’s parents bury their child. This can’t be real.
“I’d appreciate that. I’m here to do whatever you guys need, okay? Don’t hesitate,” I tell her, meaning every word. It won’t be easy for any of us, but we need to stick together during this time.
Once the call ends, I head back to the living room and find Lennon curled up in a ball on the couch. She’s crying into a pillow. No words I can offer will make her feel better, so instead, I grab a blanket and cover her. Even though I should make some phone calls, I don’t. Instead, I get another pillow and blanket and lie on the floor next to the couch so I can be close to Lennon. Her cries are the only sound in the room, and I know tonight will be a sleepless night.
It’s after two in the morning when Lennon stops trembling and her sobs quiet. I reach up for her hand and rub my thumb over her knuckles. The fact she doesn’t pull away or punch me in the face tells me she’s finally fallen asleep.
I’ve lain here for the past four hours with my mind in overdrive as I think back to when I first met Brandon, and I’m slapped with the reality of never seeing him again. Mason, Liam, Brandon, and I have been a foursome of friends since our freshman year of college, though I’ve known Brandon since high school. Mason and Liam are from SoCal, but Brandon and I are both Sacramento born and raised. His parents became my family and always welcomed me with open arms. I didn’t just lose my best friend—I lost a brother.
At sunrise, I decide to get up and make a pot of coffee. Lord knows I’m gonna need it today. Hell, I should add a bottle of vodka to it too.
Unsure of where to start or what to do, I decide to text Hayden to see if he’s awake. Since he’s on the East Coast, he’s three hours ahead of me and should be available. I need to get with Mason and Liam too. More calls I don’t know how the hell to make.
“Hey, what’s up, bro?” Hayden answers with a smile in his voice after telling me he was free to chat. “You’re up early. Or did a girl keep you up all night?” He chuckles at his own joke, and I wish I could laugh with him.
“It’s Brandon,” I respond, but it comes out rougher than I intended. “He died in a motorcycle accident last night.”
Just saying the words aloud has my heart pounding harder, almost as if it’ll beat right out of my chest. My breathing quickens as the anxiety of what this means and how my life will forever be changed hits me.
“Oh, Hunter. God. I’m so sorry,” Hayden softly replies. “Fuck, I don’t even know what to say. I can fly in this weekend if you need me to.”
“Maybe. I don’t know. I’m not even sure when the funeral is or any of the details yet. I had to tell his mom over the phone and hearing her break down nearly had me in tears,” I tell him, my voice cracking. I try to keep it together for Lennon’s sake because I know she’s going to need it, but I know I can talk to my brother about anything without judgment. “I can’t believe he’s gone.”
Hayden stays on the phone with me for over thirty minutes, listening to me ramble and getting my juggled thoughts out of my head. He reminds me that he’s here for me, and if I need him close, he’ll fly home anytime. I appreciate him so much. Once again, he’s proven to be the only true relationship I have within our family.
After hanging up, I pour a cup of coffee and sit at the kitchen table. My mind’s too cluttered to think about how I’m going to handle all this. We’d been so close, hung out all the time, especially on the weekends, but then things noticeably changed when Lennon moved in. His happiness was all I cared about, so I understood when he ditched our guy nights for date nights. It wasn’t as though I didn’t find other company to keep me occupied.
I’m lost in my thoughts until I hear Lennon rustling in the living room. I walk over and see her dragging her feet down the hallway, then enter the bathroom. She slams the door shut with unnecessary force, and I head into the living room and see her phone’s still on the coffee table.
Remembering I need to get Brandon’s work number and assuming her sisters need to know too so they can be here for her, I grab her phone and walk to the bathroom.
“Lennon,” I call, tapping my knuckles on the door. “What’s the code to your phone?”
She doesn’t answer, but a second later, she whips it open and stares at me with an unreadable expression. “For what?”
“I need Brandon’s boss’s number. You should call Maddie and Sophie too, but I can do that for you if you want,” I tell her.
Lennon narrows her eyes, her hair a wild mess. Her skin is blotchy, and her eyes are red from crying. I feel a strong desire to pull her close and hug her, let her know it’s all going to be okay, but I don’t.
“It’s your number,” she murmurs, walking past me and down the hallway again.
“Huh?” I ask, thoroughly confused. She heads to the kitchen and pours coffee into a mug.
“6-6-6.” She spins around to face me with a deadpan expression.
“Lennon.” I step toward her, but she puts up a hand to stop me from coming any closer.
“Like I said,” she says with harsh emphasis, “you haven’t been nice to me in two years, so there’s no reason to start now. Give me my phone, and I’ll forward you the contact info. I can call my sisters.”
Lennon holds out her palm, and I reluctantly deposit her phone into it. I can’t even argue with her, especially now. I’ve been a grade A asshole to her, there’s no denying that, but she doesn’t understand the circumstances of why I had to be—why I had to push her away.
I walk away without responding, not wanting to say anything I’ll regret later. She’s not going to let me in easily, but regardless, she’ll need all the support she can get over the next few weeks, months, hell, maybe even years. We still live together, after all.
After taking a shower and getting dressed, I decide it’s time to do the inevitable and tell Mason and Liam. They’re probably both working, but I can’t let more time pass without letting them know.
Hunter
Brandon was in a motorcycle accident late last night. Can you two come over today?
I don’t want to tell them via text or over the phone, but I don’t want to tell them in person either. Seeing their crushed faces will be hard.
Mason
Shit, man. He okay?
Liam
Told that dumbass he couldn’t ride for shit!
Hunter
Just come over, okay?
Mason
I can be there within the hour.
Liam
Same.
I swallow the tight knot in my throat and am already dreading the rest of this fucking nightmarish day.
By the time I make it back into the living room, Sophie and Maddie are on the couch with Lennon. No one’s talking, but Lennon’s sisters sit next to her. I feel better knowing she’s with family and am glad they can give her some comfort.
I text my boss around seven to explain the situation and let him know I won’t be in. Then I think about Lennon’s job. She’s so dedicated, but there’s no way she’s going to be able to work in her emotional state. I hope she’s not stubborn and takes the time off. She’s going to need to process everything.
Then I call Brandon’s boss and go through the same emotional roller coaster once again. He gives me his deepest apologies and asks me to inform them when and where the funeral will be held.
Speaking of which, I decide to call Mrs. Locke to see if anyone has contacted them yet.
“He’s really gone,” she says with uneven breaths after confirming with the medical examiner and sharing the details. “I don’t know how to survive this.”
I do my best to tell her we’ll get through this together and that I’m here for whatever she needs. His parents shouldn’t plan his funeral alone, so I offer to meet with them tomorrow at the church to discuss the details.
Shortly after we end the call, there’s a knock on the door, and I dread having to tell my two other best friends. I open the door and let them in. They look at Lennon and her sisters and then at me.
“Dude, what’s going on? Locke okay?” Mason asks.
“Is he at the hospital?” Liam glances around me.
Shaking my head, I lower my eyes. “He didn’t…make it, guys.”
“What?” they both shriek.
I’m sweating when I look at them. “Died at the scene. Officers showed up late last night to tell us.”
“ Fuck . Are you joking?” Liam scrubs a hand through his hair, visibly upset.
Mason shakes his head in disbelief. “No way.”
I frown. “Serious.”
They’re both distraught, and I lead them to the kitchen table to sit so we don’t upset Lennon any more than she already is.
After moments of silence, Mason clears his throat. “Do you know what happened?”
“Yeah, Mrs. Locke spoke with the medical examiner and officer this morning. But last night, all I knew was what Lennon told me, which was that he went on a solo joyride.”
As I say it aloud, it hits me. Lennon told me they were supposed to go cruising together, and she ended up changing her plans at the last minute when she went to Sophie’s last night. Holy fuck.
Not only is Lennon dealing with this news, but she’s also probably thinking about how she was supposed to be with him. Hell, I honestly don’t know what she’s thinking, but I can only imagine the grief and anger she’s experiencing. The same emotions rush through me too.
I repeat the information Brandon’s mom told me about how the investigation is still ongoing, but that a semi-truck hit him at sixty miles an hour. The driver claimed he didn’t even see him, and that Brandon flew off the bike and landed in a ditch. Even though he was wearing a helmet, nothing could’ve saved his life at that speed. He was dead before the paramedics arrived on the scene.
He was only twenty minutes away from home.
The visual and realization have me rushing to the sink and emptying my stomach.
“You alright, man?” Liam asks after a moment, handing me a towel.
“Fuck if I know.” I wipe my mouth and the cold sweat off my forehead. “I can’t believe he’s gone.”
“I know.” Mason claps his hand tightly on my shoulder and squeezes.
Lennon’s sisters and the guys stay through the afternoon, but soon they all have to go, leaving the two of us in a silent apartment. Neither of us has eaten all day, and I know if we don’t, we’ll lose our strength to get through this.
I don’t bother asking Lennon if she’s hungry because I already know what she’ll say. So I order comfort food, and when it arrives, I plate it for her and bring it to where she’s lying on the couch—the spot she hasn’t moved from all day.
“No, thanks,” she mutters, staring off into space.
“You need something in your stomach, Lennon.” I push it closer toward her.
“You don’t know shit about what I need,” she says, her voice a bit louder this time.
“Look, I know you’re pissed. I know you’re hurting. I know you’re angry. I get it. If you need to use me as your emotional punching bag, then I’ll let you. But I’m not going to let you starve.” I tell her firmly.
She finally turns and looks at me but remains silent.
“Just try to eat a little,” I say softer this time. “I ordered your favorite.”
Lennon blinks, then looks down at her plate. “How’d you know this is my favorite?” She eyes the lobster and shrimp mac ’n’ cheese.
I swallow, looking down at my own plate of the same thing. She thinks I don’t listen when she talks, but she’s wrong. I’m always listening, especially when it comes to her. Not for any particular reason, but I hear what she says all the same.
“I just do.”
She sits up and takes the plate, placing it on her lap. “Thank you.”
The TV’s been on all day as background noise, but neither of us talks or watches what’s playing. We sit in silence and eat, and though I have no appetite, I scarf it down. Lennon moves her food around with her fork before she finally takes a bite.
Nothing either of us can say will make the other feel better or change things. As much as Lennon wants to hate me, I’m here to stay and help her through this—help us both through this. Even though I don’t want to admit it, I need her as much as she needs me. She’s the only person who was as close to Brandon as I was and can fully understand the never-ending grief I’m feeling. I know I’ve wanted to hate her and have her hate me this whole time, but Brandon dying has put everything into perspective. Life’s too short and unpredictable to be a dickhead. I know he’d want me to look after her the best way I know how, even if she’d rather push me away.
“Are you done?” I ask when she abandons her barely eaten food and lies back down.
She nods.
Pushing myself up, I grab our dirty dishes and go to the kitchen. I rinse and put them in the dishwasher, a skill Lennon always thought I couldn’t figure out. Except who does she think did them before she moved in? Though, before she insisted she buy new china, we used paper plates and a mismatched set we’d bought from the thrift store.
Once I’ve cleaned up and put the leftover food in the fridge, I head back to Lennon and see her knees up to her chest with her arms wrapped around her legs. I wish I could take her pain away even though I’d never be able to.
“Going to bed?” I ask, grabbing the remote to turn off the TV.
“I’m sleeping here,” she says. “I can’t sleep in there.”
Lennon pinches her eyes shut, and I can see her lip visually trembling, so I don’t push her on it.
“Okay,” I say, setting the remote back down and grabbing the pillow and blanket. I place it on the floor next to her just like last night.
“What’re you doing?” Her sad eyes meet mine.
“I’m not letting you stay out here alone,” I tell her. “Want another blanket?”
She blinks up at me. “Sure.”
Once I grab one, I drape it over her body. Then I turn off the living room light and settle into my makeshift bed. Lennon hasn’t broken down since her sisters left hours ago, but now as the silence and darkness surround us, she tries to keep her tears and emotions at bay but can’t.
God . Hearing her cry is fucking ruining me. If I hadn’t been such an asshole toward her during the past two years, she’d trust me to comfort her. The pain she’s feeling is bound to be on a level greater than even I can understand. We both loved Brandon, but she was in love with him. I can’t begin to fathom losing the love of my life, and my heart fucking aches for her, for what she no longer has, for what she lost—a good man, best friend, a future husband even.
The last part punches me straight in the goddamn gut as I remember the conversation Brandon and I had not too long ago. I push the thoughts away, hoping I don’t lose my dinner because I’m so fucking sick over it that I might.
“Tomorrow’s a new day, Lennon. We’ll get through this, okay?” I tell her, hoping it’ll calm her and hoping it will calm me too.
I hold on to tomorrow like a candle in the darkness, a light that will guide us into the morning as I close my eyes and try to think of nothing. Only time can heal this pain, but the seconds feel like minutes and minutes like hours as the past day continues to play on repeat.
We’ll survive this, won’t we?
Lennon speaks up as if she’s read my mind, but she’s only responding to my last comment.
“We have to. There’s no other option.”