Chapter Thirty-Five
Time stands still all day Wednesday and stretches into Thursday. Liam said he’d try to sort out the phone situation either in Minneapolis or when he arrived in New York, but I haven’t heard anything from him. That either means he’s busy, having fun, meeting up with the beautiful blonde Olivia, or hopefully, he just still doesn’t have a phone. I haven’t had the guts to call him. It’s easier to believe he still doesn’t have a usable phone than to wonder if he does and just doesn’t want to talk to me.
The parking lot of the care center has been transformed. Tents are up, and the event company that volunteered their services from Rosso is setting everything up. We’re going for a black-tie look but on almost no budget. Everything from the food to the tables has been donated.
“It’s coming together.” I jerk my head around to see my dad walking toward me. “You’re going to pull this off.”
“Hey.” I put my hands on my hips as the tables are draped in black tablecloths. “What are you doing here?”
“I wanted to come by and see how things were progressing. Can’t your old man check in?”
“Sure, but you can’t wear that to the gala.”
My dad runs a hand through his beard. “I’ll obviously go home and change.”
“So, you still plan on coming?”
“Seven, right?”
“No.” I shake my head. “Remember, the residents get to bed by about eight, so we pushed the event up to six.”
“That’s right,” he says. “Well, I’ll be sure to iron my suit tonight so I can be there.”
“I have to get back to work,” I say. “But I’ll see you later.”
I smile as I watch Liam’s vision come to life. The gala was entirely his idea, which is why it’s my favorite of all the fundraising we’ve done. It wasn’t Olivia’s idea. When he suggested it, both my mom and I thought it was unnecessary. But he insisted it would help current and prospective families get excited about having such a great option right here in Wheaton. For the past few years, when people needed a nursing home, most went to neighboring, larger towns that could offer more.
Everything has improved here since Liam started offering his services. The building is shining with all the upgrades. I’m training two new RNs and four new CNAs, and we’ve gained six new residents in the past month. My mom offered Liam a job as her donor relations officer, but he told her she couldn’t afford him. For now, I’m managing the physical donations. We have a room full of clothes, blankets, and bathroom supplies. The town has really stepped up for these residents who deserve it so much.
*****
My eyes look especially blue against my bright blue, floor-length dress. I glance at myself in the mirror in Sunny and Sis’s room. The silk hangs elegantly on my body, and soft curls frame my face. I release a deep breath.
“It’s going to be great,” Sunny says as he walks into his room. “You’re ready for this.”
“Liam still isn’t here.” I glance at my watch. It’s already five. “Have you talked to him? Has he called anyone?”
Sunny shakes his head. “He’ll be here. He wouldn’t miss this. It’s all he’s been talking about for the past month.”
“He’s the MC. He better not.”
I head outside, and Lucy and Will are busy getting all the guests to their assigned seats. The residents will be ushered in by the staff promptly at six and will be scattered among all the attendees.
“Make sure everyone sees the silent auction table,” I say, grabbing Lucy’s arm.
She looks beautiful in her black cocktail dress.
“You’ve got it, Birdie,” she says. “Deep breaths. Everything is going great. This event will practically run itself.”
No matter how hard I try, though, I don’t think I’ll relax until I see Liam. Where is he? In fifteen minutes, he’s supposed to be on stage, introducing tonight’s program, including our first speaker, Sunny. It was my mom’s and my idea to have him be the MC. He protested at first, but we convinced him. And now he’s not even here.
“It’s almost time,” my mom says, coming up behind me.
“He’s not here.” I nervously bite my lip.
“Birdie girl.” She shakes her head. “I wish you’d stop being surprised when your dad doesn’t show up for things.”
“Oh,” I say, looking around. “Dad’s not here.”
His absence hadn’t registered with me until this moment.
My mom narrows her brows. “Who were you talking about?”
“Liam,” I say. “He’s not here. What am I going to do? He was supposed to kick this off. Why isn’t he here?”
She grabs my shoulders and smiles. “You’ve got this. It’s not Liam who’s turned this place around. It’s you. Everything good that’s happened this summer, and frankly, in my entire life, has been because of you.”
At six sharp, all the guests are seated, and the staff brings out the residents who are well enough to participate in tonight’s gala. Music plays and I try my best to focus, but I can’t stop scanning the crowd, hoping that Liam will arrive.
I step onto the stage and look out at everyone. Public speaking is my nightmare. I wasn’t supposed to be up here tonight, yet here I am. I’m not sure the words coming out of my mouth make sense. I’m dizzy, maybe partially blacked out, as I thank everyone for being here, mention the auction, and then hand it off to Sunny. I help him up the two stairs, and he stands at the microphone.
“Wow,” he says, pausing as people clap and yell his name. His best friends are the loudest. He looks dapper in his black tux. He told me he’s had it for thirty years. He glances at me, and I smile.
“Let’s be honest,” he says. “No one hopes the sunset of their life will take place in a nursing home. Sis and I spent almost our entire adult lives on Main Street, where we raised our two boys and had so many happy times, especially as we entertained our grandchildren.”
I look at the people, and even Liam’s parents are here, sitting at a table with Sis and other members of their family.
“Yet here we are,” Sunny says. “And Sis and I could be sad about it, but it’s hard to be when we’re this well-taken care of. Not that long ago, we were at risk of being sent to another town, which would have taken us farther from family and the community we love. But thanks to everyone’s generosity, the nursing home isn’t going anywhere, anytime soon. And I get to go on almost daily visits out to the lake, which is my favorite place on earth. So, thank you for being here. Thank you for your support. Now let’s eat.”
Everyone stands when Sunny is done. As they eat, and between various speakers, a video plays of the residents and the different activities we offer at the nursing home. The entire gala lasts only an hour. We figured anything longer would be too hard on our people. All of that work, for only an hour. The auctioneer gets to work, and so many people bid. Almost every business in town donated something, and many of the people are here tonight. I spot the mayor, the owner of the grocery store, and the local bookstore. People really showed up for the residents, both physically and financially.
When the event finally ends and the residents are back in their rooms, I take a deep breath, but it does nothing to lift the heaviness weighing down my stomach. The worst part is how familiar this feeling is—the deep ache of disappointment from someone I love. It’s a pain I haven’t felt in years, yet it still lingers within me. I built thick armor around my heart long ago, refusing to let my dad make me feel this way anymore. But with Liam, I let my guard down. I allowed myself to love him.
“Birdie,” Lucy says as she walks down the hall toward me. “I’m having people over to celebrate a great night. Join us?”
“People or Will?” I say.
She smacks my arm. “I invited quite a few people, thank you very much.”
“Umm,” I say. “I’ll have to take a raincheck. I’m exhausted.”
“Birdie,” she says slowly. “Come on. You don’t have to stay long. But stop by. Please.” Lucy hugs my shoulder.
“I’ll try,” I say. “Let me wrap up things here, okay?”
I mask how I’m feeling. No one except my mom has any idea how much hope I had in Liam’s presence. I get everything put away inside, and when I step out into the night, everything is nearly disassembled, but a couple of trucks still remain as they load tables and chairs into the back.
“Birdie.” A figure comes out of the dark, and I don’t need to look to know the voice. “I am so sorry.”
I slowly turn. Liam is sweaty, a blazer slung over his shoulder, a roller bag at his feet.
“I don’t know what to say,” he says and then stops to look at me.
He drops his blazer onto his bag and rolls up the sleeves of his dress shirt, unbuttoning the cuffs and pushing them up his forearms. His hand rests on his chest as his eyes slowly take me in, lingering on every detail.
“You look beautiful,” he says, his gaze never wavering.
“Don’t.” I hold my hand up, anger and disappointment bubbling to the surface.
“I’m sorry, Birdie. You have no idea how much. I missed my flight this morning and rebooked but had to fly through Detroit. I’ve been scrambling all day to get here.”
“You didn’t think to call?” My voice is steady and even.
“My phone is broken, you know that. I would have done anything to be here.”
“How’d you miss your flight?”
Liam shakes his head and runs his fingers through his hair. He pats his chest with his hand. “That’s totally on me. I set the hotel alarm clock and must have done it wrong. I was totally panicked. Birdie, you know me. You know I’d never miss this. I wouldn’t do that to you.”
He looks desperate for my forgiveness, his brow furrowed as he wipes away the sweat. But I can’t give him what he wants. For the past few hours, I’ve felt physically ill from his absence.
“You know me,” I say. “You knew how important tonight was. You could have borrowed a phone from someone, and if you didn’t know my number by heart, you could have called information and reached the nursing home. You should have done about a hundred different things, but instead, you let me worry all day, with no regard for what that would do to me.”
“I’m not your dad, Birdie,” Liam says. “I know I messed up. I let you down. It won’t happen again.”
“You don’t get to talk about my dad.” My face heats. “Just because I’ve shared a thing or two with you, doesn’t mean you know things.”
“I’m sorry.” Liam grabs my hand. “Don’t ice me out again.”
“This is all so stupid.” I pull my hand away. “I don’t know what this thing was between us, but it was going to end anyway when you left. All I know is that I hated how you made me feel tonight, and I don’t want to go through that again. It has to be over. I’m done.”
“You’re done?” Liam steps closer to me as one of the event workers walks by. “Let me tell you something, Birdie. Sometimes people are a disappointment. And I’m sorry for all the shit you’ve gone through because no one deserves it less than you. But you can’t cut people out like that. It’s not fair. It hurts.”
“You don’t know—”
“Birdie,” Liam says, cutting me off. He cups my face and presses his lips against mine. The force of it opens my mouth, but I push him back. “I love you.”
All the blood rushes from my body, leaving me pale and speechless, my mouth agape.
Liam holds my shoulders. “I don’t know when it happened exactly, but I’m man enough to admit it to you. It’s been sneaking up on me all summer, and I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life. I love you, Birdie.”
Silence surrounds me as Liam watches, waiting for my response. When I was growing up and my dad repeatedly broke my heart, my mom was always my safe haven. She would urge me to protect my heart, but it’s only in this moment that I truly understand why. I hate this feeling—the emptiness—and I never want to feel it again.
“I can’t do this.” I slip my heels off and hold them in my hands, then turn away from Liam. “You don’t love me. It’s been a summer. It’s too much for me. I don’t think I can go there with you.”
“Don’t say that.” Liam places his hand on my shoulder and spins me around. “You can’t mean that.”
“Yet I do.”
I take a deep breath, my insides cold and numb. Liam’s face contorts with emotion, his eyes glistening in the light. But my wall rises again, completely blocking out any feelings—my pain and his. Gone with the summer sky.
There’s nothing left to say. We stand there, staring at each other, a skill we’ve perfected through our shared silence. His face is a mix of brokenness and confusion, a reflection of the turmoil I’ve created, but rarely stick around long enough to see. I give a slight nod, then turn and walk away, leaving behind the shards of what we once were.