Aisha Kapoor
“He really is terrible,” I say, removing my earring as a way to break that awkward tension between us.
“I did say that before; you just didn’t believe it,” he says, and while I know he doesn’t mean it like that in a mean or rude way, I am a little sensitive to tones, and his is absolutely not something I appreciate.
“I just thought it would be good for your company,” I add softly.
He looks up at me, and his face relaxes a bit. He removes his watch and walks over to me, and I wonder what he is about to do.
Just when I bend down to keep the rest of my jewelry on the table, he wraps his arms around my waist and buries his face in my neck.
I know today was a harsh day for him and honestly, for the both of us. He woke up stressed, and even though he kept saying that everything was okay, I knew that something was on his mind that was bothering him.
While I have always pushed him to talk about his feelings, I know when to stop doing that. Sometimes, despite all feelings, it is okay to give your partner space. Some things are just too heavy to be spoken about, and I have learned the hard way to stop forcing him to speak.
“I am sorry,” he says and presses a firm kiss on my neck. “I really hate that man. I haven’t been feeling good, and I really would have loved to not go tonight. But you insisted, and I am not upset about it. I am just…tired.”
“It’s okay,” I say, running my hand through his hair. “I understand.”
“You know the highlight of tonight?”
“What?”
“You looked absolutely amazing. As always. It was hard for me to keep myself from kissing you every moment my eyes found you—which was all the time.”
“For someone who doesn’t know how to express his feelings, you have turned awfully good at letting me know how you feel about me.”
He lifts his face from my neck and presses his chin against it instead. A soft smile comes on his face, and it makes me happy.
“When it comes to you, I am awfully good at a lot of things.”
“Like?”
He raises an eyebrow, and I anticipate his next action.
“Like this,” he presses a kiss under my ear, and my breath hitches.
“And this,” he sucks on that spot meeting my neck, and I let my eyes close shut.
“What about this?” he squeezes my waist and bites on my neck.
A groan slips out of me, and I can feel his smirk against my skin.
He turns me around, and my lower back presses against the table.
He kisses my cheek softly before his lips meet mine in a ferocious kiss. Quite contrary to his touch, his kiss is rough. As if he is letting all his pent-up stress and frustration out this way, and I don’t even mind.
His tongue meets mine, and he gently lifts me up, and I wrap my legs around his waist.
I know there are a few things I still need to say and a few things that we need to discuss before we move forward.
But for one night, I want to forget about everything.
My doubts and my questions. My jumbled feelings. His doubts and his stress. Everything I want to forget.
The shit Chhavi put in my mind and the words Louis said to Reyansh—everything.
For this night, it’s only me and him, and I am ready to let go.
“Reyansh,” I moan out loud when his lips find my neck. “I want more. Please.”
He drops me on the bed, towering over me, and damn, he looks so sexy.
Did I mention I am ferociously obsessed with my husband?
His open shirt gives me a peek at his taut muscles. He isn’t bulky like guys you see on social media, but his body is one made out of my dreams.
He is everything I wanted in a man and more.
“Say it,” he says, his lips trailing down to my chest, and he presses a kiss on the swell between my breasts.
“What?” I ask, too far gone in the feeling he invokes in me.
“That you want me to take you. Right here. Right now.”
His eyes look straight into mine with determination. He knows I want that more than anything.
“I want you, Reyansh,” I say, and I have never been as honest as I am in this moment. “I need you. Please.”
He smirks and sits up on his knees in front of me. He takes off his shirt, and I watch him undress in front of me like my favorite movie.
He takes his sweet time in unbuttoning his shirt before he moves onto his pants. What makes it even hotter is the fact that he keeps looking at me while he unzips his pants.
I won’t even deny that my mouth is absolutely salivating right now.
I put my hand over his as he goes to remove his pants.
“Let me do it,” I say before I push down his pants.
He keeps his gaze steady on me as he helps me remove his pants and his boxers until he is completely naked in front of me.
“May I?” he asks as he plays with the straps of my dress, and I nod.
In a minute he pulls the dress over me, and I throw my hands up to let him do it easily.
His mouth falls open as he sees that I am only wearing panties and pasties instead of a bra.
“You were naked the whole time?” he asks, amazed.
“Yes,” I say. “I mean, I couldn’t wear a bra with a backless dress.”
“You will be the death of me,” he says before his lips attack mine, and I groan as he pushes me back on the bed.
His hand fondles my breast, and I arch my back. His hand is soft and cold against my warm skin, and I am so exhilarated with the sensations.
He moves his lips downwards, and when he reaches my peak, he swipes his tongue across my sensitive skin, and I loudly moan his name.
He keeps his hand on mine, quietly reminding me that we aren’t the only ones in the house.
I bite his hand when it reaches downwards, his lips leaving goosebumps wherever he touches me.
I feel his breath on my most sensitive core when he takes away his hand, and I look at him through my lowered lashes.
“I am going to take my time and make you come twice tonight,” he says, and I feel my heart race beneath my chest. So loudly that I am sure even he can hear it. “First you will come on my face.”
My cheeks grow red.
“And then you will come on my dick.”
And just then, he swipes his tongue on my core. Slowly, and his eyes trained on me all the while. He keeps his eyes focused on me as he continues his slow torture, and I just wish he would go a little faster.
“Faster. Please.”
“Nuh-uh. You will listen to me in bed.”
Gosh, he is dangerous.
He drives his tongue in a slow manner on my clit, and my thighs shake. He presses a hand against my left thigh as he moves them around his head, locking him where he is needed the most.
He circles my clit with his tongue, and I bury my face in the pillow to keep myself from screaming.
I feel my toes curl and my stomach tighten, and then slowly, I feel that familiar feeling arise, and my orgasm lashes out on his face.
He doesn’t move an inch, savoring each second of it, which only makes this situation hotter.
“Sweet, just like you,” he says, and I pull his head down to kiss me. I claim his mouth, and he lets me take control.
I pour everything that I cannot say in words into that kiss, and he hears, like the good man that he is.
“I love you,” he whispers on my lips. “I love you so much.”
“Do you want me to continue?” he asks, and I love that he is so concerned still.
“Yes,” I say. “I am dying over here. Please do.”
“As you wish, meri jaan.”
He bends down to pick out his wallet from his pants, and from there he takes out a condom.
I quirk my eyebrow in question.
“I am always prepared when it comes to you.”
I shake my head, but I don’t get time to even say anything because once he is done wrapping himself, he pushes into me, and I cry out in mild pain.
It has been so long that I am not even used to it.
He presses soft kisses on my face as he slowly moves inside, and I bite his shoulder to keep myself from screaming.
“Just a little bit more,” he says before easing into me completely, and I let out a breath.
“You can move,” I say, and he slowly starts moving in and out.
He wraps his hand around mine, keeping me close while he kisses me, and I lose myself in the feeling of him.
“God, you feel so good,” he moans, and I would die to hear him moan in my ears again and again.
He groans, and I feel myself tighten again.
I can never last too long when he comes to me.
“Rey,” I say, my voice coming out in shallow breaths. “I am going to—”
“With me. Please.”
He pushes his thumb in my mouth, and I look at him confused. He then presses that same thumb on my clit, and I lose my mind.
That is the hottest thing he has done.
In a moment, he comes at that same time as mine, and we both groan as he falls on top of me.
“I love you,” he whispers over and over again as he rests his face in the crook of my shoulder, and I smile.
I love you too.
* * *
Reyansh and I collapsed after he was done cleaning both of us last night. I wanted to sort out a few things before I let him know my heart and what I had decided.
Because now was the time. Both of our mothers are leaving soon, and while they initially said that both of them came because they missed us, I knew that they knew something was wrong, if not the whole thing, and they wanted to fix it.
And if it weren’t for them, we would have separated long ago, and I would have regretted it so much.
So before they both leave, I needed to fix it. But two back-to-back orgasms had worn me out, and he was tired too. So, I fell asleep in his embrace, and the way he held onto me was saying things we couldn’t by words at the moment.
But something is weird.
Because the man who would kiss me good morning was no longer there. He felt a bit off in the morning, and that broke my heart.
It felt like we just had a one-night stand, and he was leaving me behind now, triggering what Chhavi had said to me, but I knew none of that was true.
But who would make my oversensitive heart understand that?
When I asked him about it, he said that I didn’t need to worry about it and that it was something small stressing him out. He had gently kissed my forehead and gone to the gym, and I got a whiplash of all those months that led to this moment.
The one genuine fear I carried in my heart was that no amount of pep talk could help me leave.
* * *
I stirred the poha softly, keeping one eye on my chai so it wouldn’t boil and spill out when Maa came from behind, startling me.
“You scared me?” I said, to which she smiled, “You are back early.”
She had gone to drop Chhavi at her hostel, and I had refused to say bye to her. Maa understood that something was off but didn’t say anything about it.
“Yes,” she said. “I just told her to take care and keep calling her mom.”
I nodded, and she stared at me silently. Too many thoughts were running in my mind, and I didn’t know what to do.
“She was worried about you.”
I paused my stirring. “She doesn’t need to, Maa. All she does is fake that she is concerned. I can’t tell you what she said to me, but it was definitely bad.”
“I can understand,” she says, surprising me slightly. “But is it wrong?”
“What do you mean?”
“What I mean is that three months passed in a blink and you are still not sure what to do.”
I bite my lip, looking down at my sad-looking poha.
She tilts my chin with her hand so that I face her, and the sadness on her face matches my own, and somehow hers breaks my heart more than my own does.
“Beta, I know you love him, and I know he loves you too, but I also see how you guys keep hurting each other. Despite me not wanting you guys to separate, I want you to understand that just the fact that you guys love each other is not enough.”
I took in a deep breath even though that was painful because my heart could anticipate what was coming ahead.
“Are you always going to become a shell of who you are when he is upset or stressed because I see it on your face, Aisha? His mood affects yours, and while that is not a bad thing, it gets problematic when his every action starts affecting what you do and who you become.”
A lone tear slipped down my eye, and I felt myself shake as she took me in her embrace.
“I love you, Aisha, and it hurts to see you be so troubled and look like you are walking on eggshells all the time.”
“What do I do then, Maa?” I ask, broken, and for the first time in these three months, I feel like she can understand my pain. “I love him.”
“I know,” she says, rubbing a calming hand up and down my arms as her own eyes glisten with tears. “Take a break.”
My eyes grow confused, and she takes my face in her hands, her touch calm and soft.
“I am not saying leave him forever or stop loving him. I know you both cannot live without each other, but if it is hurting you at the moment, I think it is time to step away and heal alone. Before you both decide to heal each other.”
My heart breaks as I digest her words as I look away. But based on what has happened, I don’t see any harm in it.
“You have all the time in the world to decide—”
“I know what to do. I need a divorce.”
Her eyes widen when she hears me say those words with so much determination because she knows and I know that I am not bluffing this time.
When I turn around to face her, I see that Reyansh is standing at the entrance of the kitchen.
And his face tells me everything.
His face says that he heard me.
And that he is not stopping me this time.