Chapter 19
CHAPTER NINETEEN
JAMAL
Zakai had some wine in his tent from the capital that we decided to drink while sharing stories about the glory of barbarian cock.
We got comfortable in a corner near the community fire, none of us were as embarrassed as my barbarians had been about sharing our exploits together.
It was much more fun than sitting around waiting for Torgrind and Brenek to return, and I leaned in eagerly to hear the stories they shared.
“I love how strong they are,” Simon commented, swirling the cup of wine in his hand, a mischievous grin on his face. “Feigrind can hold me up while fucking me without even a wall to lean against. It’s amazing.”
Zakai nodded in agreement, letting out a happy sigh as he thought about his own experience. “I love when Uttin does that. Or when he pins me down and makes me take him.” He shuddered, a slight flush appearing on his cheeks. “Goddess, the things that man does to me.”
Biting my lip, I considered the possibilities. “Do you think it’s possible for Brenek and Torgrind to both take me while standing up? We’ve never done that before.”
While I’d had plenty of sex in the capital, including adventurous sex of many kinds, this was my first time being shared between two men.
I knew of Simon’s past, of the time he spent in the brothel, and figured he’d be the expert to speak to in regards to what possibilities there were with two barbarians to tend to me.
“Oh, absolutely,” Simon agreed. “There are many positions that you can do with the two of them, either by taking turns or by taking you at the same time.”
He was not shy about sharing, ticking things off with his fingers as he listed out all the possibilities.
I wished I could write it all down. Apparently my barbarians and I had just scratched the surface on what we could do together.
It would take a long while to do it all, especially if I did it twice to experience it in every way possible.
He was in the middle of describing his own experience with taking two cocks at once when my barbarians finally deigned to show up.
They looked disheveled and a little dirty, obviously they’d been rolling around all day, but I ignored them in favor of taking in every detail of Simon’s words.
Taking both Brenek and Torgrind at the same time was the ultimate fantasy.
I wanted to learn everything I could before trying to convince them to give me what I wanted.
Without a word, Torgind plucked me up, making me squawk in protest before he took the seat I’d been in a moment earlier with me in his lap instead.
I settled since I didn't mind the arrangement as long as he didn’t end my conversation early, and accepted the bowl of food Brenek handed me when he came to join us a moment later.
“How much prep exactly is needed to take them both?” I demanded, accepting the cup Torgrind offered me and taking a sip.
It was water, not ale like I preferred, but he sometimes switched between the two throughout the night, and I found I didn't mind since he never demanded I stop drinking entirely. If a cup of water here and there kept them both happy and ensured I’d get fucked without them complaining about me being too drunk, I’d take it.
“There’s no such thing as too much prep,” Simon replied, eyes narrowing on me. A slow grin swept across his face. “Look at you… They’ve got you handled, don’t they?”
I felt my body stiffen, even as I demanded, “What do you mean?”
Zakai pointed between me and my barbarians, a smug look on his face. “I don’t think you even notice the way they handle you. I didn’t think I’d ever see the day you’d accept that kind of treatment.”
Handle me?
They both used that word, and it felt… wrong. Like they were saying Torgrind and Brenek controlled me. Like they tamed me. No one controlled me. I made my own choices and did what I wanted. I would never let myself be forced into something I didn’t want. I got enough of that at home.
Irritation at the idea that my barbarians controlled me flared hot in my chest, though I did my best to hide it. Forcing a smirk, I insisted, “There is no handling. Or if there is, it is the other way around. I am the same as I’ve always been.”
To prove my point, I grabbed my cup, tossing back the rest of the alcohol inside and pushing to my feet. “Yngvar should be done as well now. I want you to taste his liquor. I’ll be right back.”
And this time, I wouldn’t be letting my barbarians stop me from having fun. I could do as I wished. I would never allow someone to tame me.
TORGRIND
Something changed while Brenek and I had been training.
When I had left him, he had been a little upset, but not so much that I had been worried.
I’d intended to apologize for our absence and looked forward to hearing what he’d gotten up to while we were gone.
It was my hope that he would find his place here.
I knew he couldn’t do that unless there was more than just me and Brenek to keep him happy.
I’d thought a little time alone might give him a chance to find amusement outside a liquor bottle.
I was wrong.
After he returned with a bottle of ale from Yngvar, telling me casually that our clan brother demanded trade for it since he intended to take the whole bottle, he didn’t return to sitting in my lap.
He sat close enough to Simon and Zakai that their knees touched, an eager grin on his face as he poured them each a cup of ale.
That alone would not have bothered me, he was excited to spend time with his friends, he’d told me as much on our journey here, but as the night wore on, he seemed more and more dismissive of both mine and Brenek’s attentions.
He batted my hands away when I tried to switch out his cup for water, turning his face to ignore the food Brenek offered him.
And when I tried suggesting he slow down, knowing he would be upset if he could not have us after the evening was through, he gave me a look so dark, it shocked me.
“I don’t need permission to drink, Torgrind. You are not my father or my husband to make such demands.”
The sharpness in his tone made me pull away, unsure what I’d done to make him say such things.
“Varakai?” Brenek asked, the confusion in his tone only seeming to irritate Jamal further.
“What? I’m busy speaking with my friends.”
Said friends were too busy pouring each other more drinks to have overheard the conversation, the same flush to their cheeks that Jamal had telling me they were all too drunk to focus.
“We do not wish to stop your fun, varakai. We only wish to–”
“We. What is this we? You’ve been saying for weeks you couldn’t stand each other and now you are a team? Why? To better control me?”
Brenek’s head jerked back like Jamal had slapped him, and his tone was rough when he demanded, “When did I say I wished to do so? I never–”
Waving a dismissive hand, Jamal turned his back away from us both. “Go play with each other if you’re that lonely. I’m fine here.”
I shared a confused look with my clan brother, switching to our mother tongue. “Did something happen, do you think?”
Brenek shook his head slowly. “I do not know. Was he truly that upset about us training that he would act like this now?”
I hadn’t thought so. He’d pouted about it, but he’d seemed to understand that we were needed when our clan leader called for us. So then why…
Jamal tipped a full cup back, drinking the contents in its entirety in one swallow, and I felt my stomach clench.
He drank like that when he first arrived with the clan.
Like he would only find happiness at the bottom of a bottle of ale.
I’d thought the attention from Brenek and I had been enough to show him otherwise.
There was nothing wrong with having a little fun.
We all did it. But drinking to excess wasn’t worth the pain and suffering he would face the following morning.
“Tavi…”
He ignored the pet name, so I tried again.
“Jamal, please. Tell me what we did wrong?” I saw him stiffen and grimaced. “What did I do wrong?”
Whipping his head around, he bared his teeth, opening his mouth to say something, then snapped it shut again before he could get the words out.
He lifted his chin, a haughty expression overtaking his face, and he gave me a once over before saying the words that felt as though he’d ripped my heart straight through my chest. “I’m not yours.
I only wanted a bit of fun. Stop acting like I belong to you. I belong only to myself.”
“Varakai–” Brenek growled, always more quick to anger than I was. Before he could finish his words, the evening music began, the clans that had gathered all cheering for the entertainment.
Jamal shoved to his feet, glaring at me when I reached to steady him when he swayed. “I’m going to dance. My prince, Simon, will you join me?”
Simon and Zakai, who had gone quiet watching us, shared a look of concern between them. It seemed they didn’t understand where Jamal’s behavior change had come from either. That somehow concerned me more.
“Uh, I’m good,” Zakai replied with a frown. “Are you alright–”
Jamal didn’t let Zakai finish, nodding sharply and giving a crooked bow, stumbling on his feet a little. “Then I’ll leave you here. Good night.”
“Jamal,” Brenek called, but before he could get up to chase him, I gripped his forearm and shook his head.
“Don’t. It doesn’t seem like a good idea to chase him now.”
“What happened?” Simon asked, his cup set aside, and his eyes on Jamal as he writhed to the music not far from where we sat. Had it been any other time, I would have been enthralled with his movements. Now, I just felt cold.
“I was going to ask the same of you,” Brenek said accusingly. “He was fine when we left him. What changed?”
They both shook their heads. Either they were too drunk to remember, or they weren’t aware of the change until now.
Which made me even more certain the problem was me or Brenek.
Or the both of us. The only change that occurred since he was with his friends was our arrival. Something we did upset him.
There was no talking to him when he was this drunk, so I decided to just watch over him instead. Brenek as well, though he’d needed a cup of ale to settle his annoyance first.
As I watched Jamal drink and dance, I noticed little things that would have told me something was wrong even if I hadn’t been aware before.
A little furrow between his brows, like he was concentrating.
He didn’t have that when he was drinking before.
He let himself relax into it, and his expression was always serene or playful while drinking.
His movements were also intentionally seductive.
It almost looked forced. Like he was trying to make us jealous by garnering the attention of the brothers around him.
If he hadn’t been so obviously drunk, it might have worked.
None of my clan brothers would take someone so drunk they couldn’t consent properly. To do so would dishonor them.
While I was considering my options on what to do next, I saw Jamal stumble. Both Brenek and I lurched to our feet, pausing when he readjusted and returned to his dancing. But he was getting too close to the fire. Should he stumble again, the result could be–
Like I feared, he stumbled, tripping over his own feet and stumbling straight toward the blazing fire. I moved on instinct, Brenek right beside me. We had to get to him before it was too late.