Leo’s Letters
Leo’s Letters
Tem,
I am only writing these infernal letters upon your request, and I wish to state for the record that I think it is a stupid idea.
But since I have no other ideas myself, I suppose I shouldn’t disparage it.
Any idea, no matter how stupid, is worth trying at this point. I have to get you out of my head.
Yours,
Leo
Tem,
I told the caterers to make that soufflé tonight—the one we had when you stayed in the castle. Do you remember? Do you remember how I fed you a bite, then you kissed me on the cheek? I swear I felt that kiss for hours.
I would give anything for a kiss like that from you right now. Just one.
Yours,
Leo
Tem,
Dinner was torture tonight, as it is every fucking Sunday.
Every time you reached for your whiskey, I thought you might be reaching for me.
To make matters worse, your brute of a husband simply sat there and stared at me the entire time.
Doesn’t he ever eat? Don’t answer that. I don’t want to think about what he’s been eating when it’s all I want to eat too.
Yours,
Leo
Tem,
Are you aware that every time you come here, you look more beautiful than you did the time before?
How dare you look like that. It should be illegal to be so stunning.
And don’t think I don’t notice when you wear something low-cut.
I know you do it for me. And I know you know I know. Stop doing that.
Yours,
Leo
P.S. Never stop doing that.
Tem,
Agony is too kind a word to describe these fucking dinners.
I will never forgive myself for suggesting them.
Knowing they are my only avenue to see you is the only reason I allow them to continue happening.
That, and I like how angry your husband gets whenever I look at you.
He practically cracks a tooth when I make you smile.
Imagine what he’d do if I made you come.
Yours,
Leo
Tem,
There has been unrest in the village. My people are not happy. I’m being pulled in two directions—toward them and toward you. I don’t know what magic you cast at our wedding, but you are always at the forefront of my mind. Even when I’m with Evelyn. All I think of is you.
Yours,
Leo
Tem,
I was late to dinner tonight. And when I arrived, you looked like you’d just been fucked.
You know how I know that? Because I’ve fucked you before, and that’s how you looked after I did it.
I assume you let your brute of a husband fondle you in the foyer.
I swear I could almost hear you moaning for him.
I rubbed my cock raw all night thinking of you moaning for me.
Somehow, despite my better judgment, still yours,
Leo
Tem,
The villagers are angry. Evelyn announced our wedding, and it did not go over well.
You warned me, and I didn’t listen. I thought they would accept her, but they haven’t.
She’s even more convinced that we must bring back the bloodletting now.
She thinks it will turn their opinions in her favor. She is probably right.
Yours,
Leo
Tem,
I swear Evelyn doesn’t know what she’s saying. She’s just…complicated. Not unlike you. But that’s where the comparison stops. She’s nothing like you. She’s not even close. I will not let her do this. I promise.
Yours,
Leo
Tem,
Are you ever going to read these letters? What is the point of me addressing them to you if I’m only writing them for myself? What happens if Evelyn finds them? Sometimes I hope she will.
Yours,
Leo
Tem,
It’s not enough for me. I can’t write to you and pretend it’s enough for me. I need to touch you. I need to hear you say my name. Don’t you need that too?
Yours,
Leo
Tem,
I think Evelyn is lying to me. It eats at me like a disease. You and I agreed not to lie to each other, and all Evelyn does is lie. I’m beginning to think I hate her for it. I am beginning to think I hate you too.
Yours,
Leo
Tem,
I don’t hate you. I could never hate you. I think you know that, so I’m not going to bother apologizing. You won’t read these fucking letters, so what does it matter anyway? I love you. I always will.
Yours,
Leo
Tem,
Why is it that every time we look at each other, it feels like stars colliding?
What did you do on our wedding—what bond now exists between us?
Your brute of a husband was the one who suggested you draw power from me that day.
Does he know we’re connected like this? He can’t possibly.
Because if he did—if he knew how I feel when I look at you—he’d kill me on the spot.
Yours,
Leo
Tem,
I hated every moment of that dinner. I hated the way you volunteered for the bloodletting. I hated the way Evelyn smiled when you did it. I hated the way you told me my father would be proud. I fucking do not think he would be. Nothing could be worse than making that monster of a man proud.
I miss you so badly it hurts.
Yours,
Leo
Tem,
Something is drawing me to you. I can’t stop it.
I wake up every night thinking of you, and sometimes I’m halfway out the door before I remember I can’t go to you.
Does your brute of a husband know how lucky he is?
Does he understand the paramount privilege he enjoys being married to you?
He’s the one who gets to kiss you. He’s the one who gets to fuck you.
At least…in person. You cannot imagine what I’ve done to you in my dreams.
Yours,
Leo
Tem,
I swear I feel worse every day I’m not with you. It’s like I need to touch you, and if I don’t, I’ll die. Do you feel that too? Or do I yearn alone?
Yours,
Leo
Tem,
I wish you hadn’t sent me away tonight.
I would have sat with you for as long as you were down in that awful fucking dungeon. I don’t want you near my father, and I don’t want you bleeding because of me. It’s the last thing I would ever want.
Yours,
Leo
Tem,
I can’t stop thinking about what we did in the library.
You were so beautiful spread open like that just for me. When Evelyn asked how I cut my hand, I couldn’t think of a single fucking thing to tell her. She wouldn’t have believed me anyway.
Yours,
Leo
Tem,
My cock was hard when I woke up this morning. Evelyn slid it in her mouth, and I imagined she was you. Then we fucked, and I took her from behind because that’s the only way I can fuck someone who isn’t you.
Why are you doing this to me? Do you hate me?
Yours,
Leo
Tem,
I can’t bear this much longer.
Yours,
Leo
Tem,
Every day the villagers grow more restless. I spoke to your friend Gabriel this morning as he was arriving for his shift in the kitchen. He says my people are angry, that they resent the inconsistencies in leadership, that they wish you were their queen. I wish that too.
Yours,
Leo
Tem,
It’s not working with Evelyn. But I can’t leave her.
You told me to find her, and I did. And now we’re getting married and everything is wrong.
I can’t stop thinking about you. When I try, I only think about you more.
You’re in the whiskey I drink, the books I read, the stars I see. You’re a part of me.
Is it the same for you? Or did I imagine us?
Yours,
Leo
Tem,
I almost left last night—nearly got in a carriage and went to the caves to find you.
What would have happened if I’d done that?
Would you have been happy to see me? Or would your brute of a husband have ripped my head from my shoulders?
Perhaps that would have been preferable to missing you so fucking much.
I can’t keep doing this, Tem. I can’t keep writing these letters.
Yours,
Leo
Tem,
Evelyn is here for the wrong reasons. She’s obsessed with gold, with money, with power. She wants what I can provide her—she doesn’t want me.
She isn’t…good. She isn’t you.
Yours,
Leo
Tem,
I’m supposed to marry Evelyn tonight. And I swear to Kora if you told me not to, I wouldn’t. That’s all it would take: one word from you, and I wouldn’t marry her. Say that word, Tem. Please.
Yours,
Leo