11. Eliana
ELEVEN
As I standunder the hot water of the shower, exhaustion seeps deep into my bones. I start to gently massage my sore muscles, groaning at the pleasurable pain. I didn’t think our first surf lesson would leave me feeling so beat up, but it makes me feel like I’ve accomplished something.
I let out a startled shriek as someone pounds their fist against the bathroom door, nearly causing me to fall in the shower. I shut off the water and jump out, wrapping a towel around my hair and then my body before approaching the door. Whoever is on the other side of the door bangs on it again, my heart rate increasing.
I’ve always had this irrational fear that someone would break into my home while I’m showering. What if the person on the other side of the door ends up being my killer? I slowly open the door and peek through the crack only to see Griffin standing with his palms pressed against the frame of the door, the muscles in his jaw flexing as he stares at me with a dark expression.
Not as scary as a potential serial killer breaking into the house, but still scary, nonetheless.
“Hi?” I say, confusion seeping into my voice.
What could possibly be so important that he felt the need to interrupt my shower?
“Look, I get you have your needs,” he starts, as he pushes his way into the bathroom, “we all do.”
I take a few steps back. “What are you talking about?”
He closes the bathroom door behind him and raises a single brow before his gaze drops down to my towel and burns a path along my body. I hate that I like it so much, seeing him lose his senses around me. I know his intentions are to get rid of me, so I should naturally hate him, but I can’t deny the pull of chemistry between us. I pull my towel tightly against my body, even though I really want to let it drop to the floor, and his eyes dart away as he clears his throat.
“All of your moaning during your shower, can’t you do that shit in your bedroom when everyone else is asleep?”
I blink twice.
Oh god.
My face and neck come aflame as I realize what he thought I was doing in here. Playing with myself has crossed my mind before, but I’ve always talked myself out of it mostly because I’m scared it will hurt. But for him to think I would do that while I shower, loud enough for him to hear, is absolutely mortifying.
“T-that’s not—I-I was just massaging my sore muscles,” I sputter, “I wasn’t—I don’t do that!”
“Of course you don’t,” he says, sarcastically.
He leans against the door and his jaw clenches, his sharp bone structure standing out even more. He crosses his muscular arms across his chest as he studies me, tilting his head to the side as I feel my face grow hotter.
It should be illegal to be as attractive as he is because it sure feels illegal to be attracted to him, especially since we live in the same home and share a bedroom wall. His eyes narrow, causing me to fidget, as he scans my face followed by a jump of his brows when he realizes I’m not lying.
“You don’t touch yourself?” he asks, bewildered.
“No,” I say firmly, my face scorching hot.
“Hmm,” he pushes himself off the door and comes closer, leaning down so that we’re eye level, “I don’t believe you, sunshine.”
“Don’t call me that.” My lips pull back.
He ignores me and carries on. “You mean to tell me you never touch yourself? Not even a little bit, sunshine?”
I hesitate and consider lying to him. It’s embarrassing that at my age I’ve still never had sex, let alone touched myself, and I wonder if that will change how he looks at me. But I realize it’s not like he even likes me, so it doesn’t matter what he thinks about it.
“No, not even a little bit.”
He frowns before standing straight and rubbing his chin thoughtfully. “Why not?”
I shrug. “I’ve just never done it.”
His eyes narrow. “But others have?”
The question serves as a reminder of my horrible taste in men. Every guy I’ve ever dated, albeit casually, has always been the type to take but not give back. Once I realized this, I stopped dating altogether, giving up hope on finding a decent partner.
“Nope.” His eyes widen in surprise.
Here comes the infamous question.
“Wait, are you a virgin?” he asks, his golden skin paling.
I nod slowly, my fingers curling into themselves as I dig my nails into my palms to distract myself from the embarrassment building inside of me.
The last guy to ask me that question ended up telling all his friends and it somehow turned into the punchline of every joke he ever told. It was humiliating and I still can’t believe I stayed with him for as long as I did.
“You can’t be serious, you’re like twenty-three.”
I roll my eyes. “I’m twenty-five.”
“Oh, that makes more sense then,” he says sarcastically, “were you homeschooled or something?”
“No, Griffin, I was not homeschooled. Now, if we’re done with this conversation, I would really love to return to the shower you rudely interrupted me from.”
He’s awfully curious about me and my past for someone that likes to pretend to hate me. In normal circumstances, I would entertain this conversation and leave him feeling stupid by the end of it. But, seeing as he interrupted my shower, I’m less inclined to answer his questions.
“You should at least know what you like before you let anyone else try and figure it out,” he grumbles as he tucks his hands into his pockets, leaning against the door again.
“I do know what I like,” I argue.
Caramel Crunch ice cream.
Photography.
Dogs.
“Do you?” His voice is low as he stares into my eyes, and the sound causes goosebumps to scatter across my whole body. “You know how to make yourself come?”
I watch as his eyes slide over my body once again, noting the goosebumps forming along my arms before pausing on the scar on my chest peeking out from under my towel. I quickly pull the towel up, hiding it from his gaze, as he raises his eyes back to mine.
The scar is a lifelong reminder of the accident that killed my parents. A mark left by a metal pole that impaled me during the accident. If it had gone two inches deeper, I would’ve been six feet under right next to my parents.
“Dinner will be ready in an hour,” he mumbles, his expression darkened as he walks out of the bathroom, leaving the door open behind him. I watch him retreat down the stairs before I close the washroom door and stare at myself in the mirror.
“What the fuck just happened and why was it so hot?” I ask out loud before a shiver runs up my spine.
Australian indie musicflows up the stairs from the kitchen, making me curious enough to go check out what’s going on. My hair is semi-dry and tied up in a loose bun. As I reach the final step, I spot the rest of the team crowding the kitchen island as they fill their plates with food before taking a seat at the dining table.
My stomach growls as the scent of baked salmon surrounds me when I enter the kitchen. Salmon has always been my go-to order at restaurants. It’s hard to mess up a Salmon dish, so it’s always the safest option. I make way over to where Maliah and Kairi stand adding salad to their nearly overflowing plates.
Before moving here, I hadn’t realized just how much athletes eat. It doesn’t surprise me anymore though, not after seeing how intensely they practice. They burn off the calories each time they surf.
“What’s the special occasion?” I ask.
“Fin wanted to make up for ruining our night the other day,” Maliah replies.
She smiles down at the colorful food spread along the kitchen island. I see the salmon that calls my name, along with mashed potatoes, asparagus, and a large salad bowl.
“Griffin made all of this?” I grab the last plate from the counter and begin adding food to it.
“Yup, he has a talent for cooking.” Kairi winks at me.
She still thinks something is going on between Griffin and I and takes every opportunity to wingman him.
I bite back my laugh. “I’m convinced you must think Griffin is in love with me.”
“Maybe he is. He ran up to you like a knight in shining armor. I always thought those guys only existed in books,” she sighs wistfully, patting whatever romance book she has tucked under her arm.
“I don’t think people fall in love that quickly in the real world.” I lean against the counter. “I also wouldn’t go as far as painting him as a hero.”
Maliah’s forehead creases. “Was he mean to you when we left?”
I shake my head side to side, forcing a neutral expression.
“You better tell us if he was. We’ll kick his ass,” she continues, waving her fork in his direction threateningly.
I laugh in playful disbelief before starting to fill up my own plate with food. They wait for me to finish before we walk over to the dinner table and take a seat beside each other on the opposite side of the guys.
As I look down at my plate, my stomach tightens from the hunger. The beautifully baked maple salmon lays on my plate, waiting for me to take a bite out of it. Using my fork, I pick up a piece and place it in my mouth, holding back a moan as the flavors melt on my tongue.
A secret talent for cooking … I wonder what else he’s good at.
I raise my eyes toward him, and choke on my food when I realize he’s watching me with a dark expression. Kairi and Maliah both pat my back frantically as I continue coughing. With the way he stares at me, it feels as if he can read my mind.
I hate the way my body reacts to him because aside from being extremely good looking, he’s been a mindfuck so far. I give him an unimpressed onceover after I finish coughing before returning my attention to the girls.
“He definitely has a crush on her,” Kairi whispers, “look at how he’s staring at her, I’ve never seen him like this before.”
“Who are we talking about?” I ask loudly, causing them both to jump as they look over at me.
“You, actually,” Maliah admits, straightening her back, “and him,” she waves her fork towards Griffin’s direction, who’s discussing upcoming competitions with the boys.
“He definitely has a crush on you,” Kairi whispers as she leans into me.
“Definitely not.” I shake my head before I shove a forkful of mashed potatoes into my mouth.
There’s no way Griffin has a crush on me. They weren’t there the day I arrived at The Shredder House; they didn’t see all the ways he tried to get rid of me, but I did, and Griffin has made it very clear that he wants nothing to do with me. He would probably throw a party if I quit, which is why I refuse to. I can’t give him the satisfaction of thinking he ran me out of this place.
“Then why is he still watching you?” Maliah whispers.
I raise my gaze back up and all the hairs on my neck stand when I realize he is, in fact, still staring at me. I narrow my eyes at him and watch as his lips curve upward in a delicious smile.
I watch as his lips part, revealing his bright teeth, before his tongue glides along his bottom lip in a slow, torturous, motion. Why do I find that so damn hot? It’s enough for my body temperature to spice twenty degrees, causing a bead of sweat to roll down my spine.
“Oh yeah,” Maliah mumbles, loading up her fork with salad, “he definitely has a crush on her.”
I slowly swallow past the mashed potatoes and focus my eyes on my plate of food for the rest of dinner. Maliah and Kairi continue to whisper with each other about whether Griffin could possibly like me, and I can’t listen without thinking about my encounter with him in the bathroom. The memory has the tips of my ears turning pink.
The house issilent as I glance at the time on my phone.
1:15 a.m.
Everyone should be asleep by now because the team’s first competition since I’ve joined the team is tomorrow. Hell, I should be asleep right now too, but I can’t stop thinking about what Griffin said in the bathroom earlier.
You should know what you like before you let anyone else try and figure it out.
My cheeks grow warm as I recall the heated expression he had as his eyes traveled over my body. A warmth begins to spread between my legs at the thought. He’s right. I should know my body better than anyone. How can I expect a partner to please me if I don’t even know what I like? It’s time I find out.
I place my phone on my nightstand and tiptoe to my bedroom door, quietly opening it and popping my head out into the hallway. All the lights are off and I don’t see any glow coming from underneath the room doors, confirming that everyone should be asleep for the night.
I quietly close my door, locking it behind me before I tiptoe to my bed, careful to avoid any creaky floorboards. As I climb under my warm comforter, I stare up at the ceiling, wondering where to start.
This is one of those moments when having a best friend is necessary. I think back to conversations with my ex-best friend, Alex.
Start with one finger and then when you feel ready, move on to two. Oh, and don’t forget to play with the sensitive part.
Her words echo in my mind as I build up the courage to try. I slowly slide my hand under the waistband of my avocado print pajama bottoms, and I’m met with warm wetness.
Moving my hand in slow circular motions, I tease my clit as my thoughts wander back to Griffin. It’s not that I want to necessarily be thinking of him in a moment like this, but he hasn’t left my thoughts all night and I find it too difficult to try and think about something else.
Might as well make use of him invading my mind.
I close my eyes, imagining that it’s him touching me instead, teasing my body with his fingers, an image of his veiny arms popping into my mind. Ugh…those arms. I know he would take his time acquainting himself with my body, my moans, and breathless whimpers. Learning how and where I like to be touched.
I drag my hand back and forth from my wet entrance, using my arousal to slicken my needy clit. I slide a finger inside, pumping slowly, but I replace the image with Griffin.
Heis the one pushing his finger in and out of my tight pussy.
He is the one inserting another, soaking them both to the knuckle, as his fingers hit my G-spot at the perfect angle.
My stomach muscles contract with every thrust of my –- no, his – fingers. I clutch onto the sheet beneath me with my other hand, my breath coming out in quick puffs, as I work myself towards release.
Almost there, sunshine. I imagine him saying in a rough voice.
“Fuck.”
It’s enough to push me over the edge as wave after wave of pleasure rolls through my body and I don’t stop thrusting my fingers in and out until I’m trembling too much and whimpering too loudly to keep a steady pace.
“Holy shit,” I whisper breathlessly as I slowly remove my fingers and blink up at the ceiling, face flushed.
My blood pumps loudly, the roaring sound of it filling my ears as my heart pounds against my chest. This is what I’ve been missing out on? It’s not like I haven’t thought about doing it. In fact, I’ve thought about it many times. But I always managed to talk myself out of it, convincing myself it would hurt instead of feel anything remotely close to what I just felt.
I close my eyes and don’t even try to stop the satisfied smile from creeping onto my face, feeling sated and ready for bed. But the feeling quickly fades as I realize I just came to the thought of Griffin. It doesn’t have to mean anything though, does it?
You like him. Do I?
Would that be so bad?
It would be horrible. How could I possible like someone who has been rooting for my failure? Before I can convince myself that I don’t have feelings for him, a knock at my bedroom door has my eyes flying open abruptly and my body shooting out of my bed.
“Eliana, are you still awake?” Griffin’s muffled voice comes from the other side of the door.
Oh my fucking god.
Of all the people to show up at my door, it had to be him!?
There’s absolutely no way I can face him right now, not after what I just did. Not after picturing it was him doing it to me. I need the floor to open up and swallow me whole. Right. This. Second.
“Eliana?” Griffin tries the door handle, but it’s locked.
Do I open it and risk humiliating myself? Or do I stand here quietly and pretend to be asleep?
“Eliana, I know you’re awake,” he says, “your room lights are on.”
Fuck. People sleep with their room lights on all the time, don’t they?
Panicked and unsure of what to do, I quickly run to the door, unlocking it and cracking it open. I’m prepared to tell him to go away, but as our eyes lock, it’s as if all the words in mind evaporate, and the air is sucked straight out of my lungs.
The warmth between my legs returns with a vengeance as I stare into his grey eyes. Why does my body have to betray me like this whenever I’m around him?
“Are you okay? I thought I heard you crying.” His brows knit together in concern as he scans my face.
Crying? I wasn’t crying. Why would he think he heard me cr—holy shit.
My heart pounds against my chest unforgivingly loud as I internally scream, realizing he heard me having my first ever orgasm. I’ll never live this down. He needs to go, now.
“I’m fine,” I say, my voice shaky, “it’s late, you should be sleeping. Big competition tomorrow.”
I try to shut my door, but his palm presses against it and pushes it further open so that he can see my full body. His brow is raised as he studies me, and my face flushes.
All I can think about as I look at him is how easily I unraveled at the thought of him. I attempt to subtly cross my legs to relieve some of the growing pressure between them, but as his eyes track the move, I see the moment he clues in to what’s going on here. His eyes return to mine slowly as his nostrils flare.
“You’re all flushed,” he notes, taking a step into my room.
No, no, no. I cannot be alone with him in my room right now because I’m literally a raging ball of horniness. I need to get him out.
“Am I?” I ask nervously, taking a step back to replace the distance between us.
“You are,” he confirms, taking another step until he’s standing inside.
He gently closes the door behind him before his heated gaze burns a path down my body. My cheeks flush a deeper red as I watch him, hypnotized and unable to come up with a sensible response. Having him in my room, staring at me the way he is, is pure torture. But a part of me is enjoying this more than I should.
My body reacts to him in ways my mind doesn’t want it to. I know that I shouldn’t be so affected by somebody that has made it clear on multiple occasions that he doesn’t like me at all. He’s been trying to get rid of me from day one.
The thought sobers me just enough to fade the growing need as my brain begins to work again.
“So, I take it you took my advice,” he raises his heated gaze to mine, “were you able to figure out what it was that you liked?”
You.
I clear my throat. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I manage to say, turning my back to him and walking over to my window to avoid eye contact.
“Oh, you don’t?” His deep voice sounds closer.
I let out a small gasp as I feel the warmth of his body press against my back. I spin around to face him only to jump back when we come face to face, my lips almost grazing his. Griffin rests his hands on either side of me, caging my body between him and my window. It’s the hottest thing to have happened to me, my nipples visibly pebbling through my pajama top.
I narrow my eyes as I look up at him. “What are you doing?”
One corner of his mouth lifts into a half smirk as he stares down at me, eyes dancing with mischief. The look alone fills me with an overwhelming need to rip his clothes off and beg for more. I watch as his tongue darts out and traces the curve of his bottom lip, his eyes never wavering from mine, and my heart feels like it might launch right out of my chest.
You are completely and utterly hopeless.
“I think I’d rather know what it was that you were doing before I knocked on your door,” his voice sounds raspy.
“I was sleeping,” I lie, my nose twitching.
His eyes jump to my nose before returning to my eyes. “With your lights on? Let me guess, you’re scared of the dark?”
I shake my head and glare at him, lips pressed together as I grind my teeth, hating how embarrassing this feels. I can’t lie to save my life and I hate how easily he reads me.
“Hey now,” he says gently, eyes softening as he takes a step back, his arms dropping from either side of me, “there’s nothing to be embarrassed about, sunshine.”
I scoff. “You’re right, there is nothing to be embarrassed about because nothing happened.”
My nose twitches again, an easy tell that I’m lying, and his eyes drop down to it once more, tracking the movement.
“That’s a cute lie, but you’ll have to try harder.” His voice comes out low, almost challenging, causing my core to tighten.
I pause and consider the cons of telling him the truth. What’s the worst that could happen? He makes fun of me? People have made fun of me my whole life, it’s nothing new. Finally deciding that I have nothing to lose, I tell him.
“Okay,” I release a shaky sigh as my face grows unbearably hot, “you’re right, I did it.”
His smile falls a fraction of an inch as his gaze darkens. “And?”
“And it was fun,” I say, exasperated, “I would do it again. Okay, thanks for coming to my TED Talk, you can leave now.”
“Shit,” he rubs his thumb over his lightly parted bottom lip, eyes sparkling with mischief as he watches me, “That’s hot.”
“Oh, shut up,” I groan, running a hand down my hot face to try and hide my smile.
His lips twitch. “Do I get to know the details?”
Wait, what?
I peek at him through my fingers. “What do you mean, details?”
He smirks boyishly as he returns his arms to either side of my windowsill, caging me in again.
“Did you play with your clit like a good girl?”
My eyes grow round, and my jaw drops at his boldness. I cross my legs again, feeling like I might turn into Niagara Falls at this rate. “Excuse me?”
“One finger, or two?”
“Oh my God, this has to be a dream,” I say mortified, pinching my arm.
There is no way in hell I’m giving Griffin Dickhead Jones the details of my first orgasm, no matter how much his eyes sparkle as he studies my expression and heavy breathing.
“Dream about me often?” He asks, shifting closer.
His warm breath tickles my nose as I resist the urge to pull him close and smash my lips against his.
“You wish,” I say, sounding unconvincing.
“Tell me,” He pleads.
“Why?”
He stands up straight and clears his throat as he stares down at me. “Maybe I can give you some pointers.”
I scoff. “Unless you plan to fuck me, I don’t need your pointers.”
I regret the words as soon as they slip past my lips. My eyes widen as I hold his gaze, mortified. His mouth parts and his gaze darkens again. I’m in deep, deep shit.
“Is that your way of asking me to fuck you, sunshine?”
“What would you do if you could?”
I have no idea where the courage came from to ask him that, but I stand my ground and hold his gaze. He curses under his breath as he stares down at me.
“Well, for starters you wouldn’t be whimpering quietly when you come from my cock, you’d be screaming. Begging me to keep going.”
He lifts his hand and tucks a strand of loose hair behind my eyes, his thumb grazing my cheekbone. My jaw drops at the admission and his gaze lowers to my mouth.
“The things I would do to that mouth, too,” he mumbles as my heart fights to break free.
“I’m going to bed,” I say abruptly, though it comes out more like a breathless whisper, as I place my hands on his hard chest and start to push him toward my door. He smirks cockily, as if he won our little back and forth war.
“It’s early.”
“It’s like one thirty in the morning,” I huff.
He dazzles me with a lazy grin. “Tell me what you were thinking of while you played with yourself.”
“Griffin, I have no id?—”
“Was it me?”
I freeze, my eyes bouncing around the room as I search for a black hole to jump into. I hear him chuckle as he lifts my chin up, forcing me to look into those mischievous eyes.
“I’m honored to have helped you experience your first orgasm, sunshine.”
“Shut up,” I say, grinding my teeth, “and get out.”
“Okay, okay,” he says, holding his hands up in submission, “I won’t push any further.”
He walks backwards, toward my door, his amused eyes never leaving mine as his grin widens. Before he opens my room door, he adjusts his sweatpants, drawing my eyes toward his growing erection.
Why does it look massive!?
Breathing becomes exponentially more difficult.
“Good night, Eliana,” he says, the lazy smirk returning to his face as he opens my door and steps out into the hallway.
“Good night, Griffin.” I say, my voice tight.
When I hear the click of my room door, I rush toward the light switch and flick it off, jumping straight under my thick comforter. I grab my spare pillow and press it over my face, screaming into it as my chest throbs. My mind doesn’t stand a chance against my heart.