12. Griffin
TWELVE
I hearEliana’s muffled scream from behind her door and chuckle quietly as I walk back to my room. She’s even cuter when she’s flustered but damn, I wasn’t expecting to get so turned on by the thought of her playing with herself. I’m still riding on a high from finding out that she was thinking about me while doing it; the thought alone causing my hard cock to twitch.
I’ve been trying to keep as much distance between us as possible but it’s proving harder and harder each time I speak with her. She’s an extremely frustrating distraction, but I can’t deny the attraction I feel for her. In every interaction we have, I notice how her body responds to me, goosebumps trailing her soft skin or a deep blush forming along her chest to her freckled face. I knew she was attracted to me from the moment she first met me, but I never in a million years would have expected her to go as far as to think about me while she fingers herself.
The realization was the ego boost that I’ve been needing, the validation I’ve been searching for, but the adrenaline rush to my dick confirmed to her that the attraction was mutual. It was hard to hide it, what, with her flushed skin and scattered breathing? Not even her Avocado pajama pants could have turned me away after seeing her looking at me the way she was.
As soon as she had opened her door and I saw her face, I knew what she had just finished doing. The way her eyes rounded in horror now making more sense.
“Fuck,” I groan, leaning against my desk as I pull my cock from my sweatpants, slowly stroking the hard length as I think back to her curvy ass in her half-body wetsuit.
A girl that good looking has no business being around me, especially not during practice. I had to beat myself off twice in the shower just so I could feel more like myself again. I know I shouldn’t feel like this, it’s one step away from losing sight of what I’ve worked so hard for, but I can’t stop it.
It’s like the more I try to stay away from her, the more I can’t stop think about her. The harder I fight it, the harder it becomes. I shouldn’t have been awake, staring at my ceiling, when I heard her whimpering. And I sure as hell shouldn’t have jumped out of bed and rushed to her room to make sure she was okay.
Six months away from everyone, except for my medical team, must have been long enough for my brain to begin craving connection again, because I‘ve never been this feral about anyone. With a curse I begin pumping my cock faster, grabbing a nearby towel, until my head falls back and I cum with another low groan.
The obnoxious soundof my phone alarm drags me from restless sleep. I blindly reach over to my nightstand, feeling around until I find my phone and pull it under the sheets, turning off the alarm as the screen brightness blinds me.
Today is my first competition since returning to the team from my accident, but instead of worrying about it, my thoughts wander to Eliana. Last night I almost crossed a line with her. It took everything in me to turn around and leave her room instead of showing her what a real orgasm feels like.
When I returned to my bedroom, it only took five minutes before I came apart. She drives me insane, but I know that as much as I want her, I can’t let what happened last night happen again. She’s quickly becoming all that I can think about.
I need to focus on this competition and mentally prepare for how I want to handle the waves, not how I want to handle her. Releasing a frustrated sigh, I roll out of bed and change into a black track suit, deciding to take a quick jog along the beach to clear my head before leaving for the competition.
The air is brisk as I start my jog. I love doing this when my mind feels cluttered, it’s when I’m able to just think and be the most honest with myself. Except now whenever I jog it’s accompanied with the familiar ache in my leg. It was hard not to have this escape for the first few months of my recovery, I never realized how much I would miss it until I couldn’t do it anymore.
Ten minutes into my run, I allow my walls to come down and the first person to pop into my head, aside from Eliana, is Colton. He was my best friend before the accident. We grew up together and experienced similar setbacks in life. I always looked at him like he was the brother I never had, yet he still betrayed me in the worst way.
The worst part about it all is I just can’t figure out why he did it. I’ve thought about it for months, trying to figure out where it went wrong. Had I offended him somehow? Pissed him off enough to want to kill our friendship? Every time I think about it, I come up blank. I haven’t had a proper night’s sleep ever since he did what he did. I need answers.
I know he’ll be at the competition today and it lights a fire inside of me. My heart starts to beat hard, and my hands turn cold as I feel the rage ripple through me, coursing through my blood. I put all my frustration and anger into the jog, picking up my pace. Seeing him is going to be a huge test, and I hope I can keep myself together before I ruin everything for my team.
Gabriel parksthe team van in our reserved spot at Dolphin Bay, the beach where today’s competition is being held. The parking lot is packed with cars and families walking around excitedly. Surf competitions are a big event for Saltwater Springs, as well as the nearby towns that participate; the townsfolk always find the time to show up and support their hometown teams, hoping that we’ll be the reason our town finally gets put on the map.
“Alright, everyone out of the car, let’s get you all signed in and then let’s meet up at the team tent.” Gabriel says as he hops out of the driver’s side and takes long strides toward the sign-in table. Eliana climbs out from the passenger’s side and runs after him, her duffle bag full of equipment bouncing behind her.
I haven’t spoken to her all morning, finding ways to avoid her attempts to approach me. I can’t let her get in my head right now, not until after this competition. I need to block her out, it’s the only way to stick to my no distractions rule.
The whole point of the rule is to make sure I’m putting everything I have into helping our team get to Qualifiers. I let Meghan distract me from that goal last season and I refuse to allow history to repeat itself.
The rest of the team jumps out of the van, heading to the trunk for our boards and bags. Koa, the gentleman that he is, tries to help Mal with her bag which results in absolute chaos as she snatches it from his hand and storms off towards the line.
“I see there’s still some trouble in paradise then?” I ask, nudging Koa playfully.
“Something like that,” he mutters before making his way to where she stands.
As Kairi, Zale and I make our way to the sign-in line, my eyes gravitate to a group of surfers nearby. As I focus on them, I spot Colton in the group, smiling and laughing with his new team. My grip on my surfboard tightens as I stop walking to glare his way.
The bastard looks happier than ever.
My left eye twitches.
He’s laughing all carefree, as if he didn’t ruin my life. For months while recovering I couldn’t wrap my head around how he did something bad, yet I was the one that had to suffer for it. I’m the one whose career hangs by a thread, while he gets to go on with his life as if nothing happened.
As if feeling my eyes on him, his gaze slides away from his teammate and lands on mine, his cheerful smile fading away. We stand frozen in time, staring at one another without blinking. The things I would do right now for the opportunity to punch him again. To make him feel even an ounce of the pain I had to go through.
“He’s not worth it, Fin, let’s get to the tent,” Kairi says gently, coming to stand beside me as her eyes linger on Colton.
When I don’t answer, she sighs.
“I can’t keep you out of trouble on top of Mal and Koa.”
“You don’t need to keep me out of trouble,” I say as I turn away from Colton, “I’m not looking for it.”
She places her small hand on my elbow, and I let her guide me away, towards the others waiting in line. We each sign in, after the sign-in girl stops drooling over Koa, and head over to the Saltwater Springs tent where Gabriel stands talking to reporters. When they spot me approaching, they ditch him and crowd around me instead. Their voices blending together until one reporter steps up and speaks louder than the rest.
“Griffin Jones, how does it feel to be back after such a brutal accident?”
I clench my jaw, trying to control my frustration, as anger builds within me. The question is more triggering than I thought it would be, the word brutal dredging up memories of the pain and struggle I had to endure during my recovery.
My heart beats hard in my chest as my emotions jump all over the place. I glance down at my trembling hand, the numbness seeping into my fingers. I swallow hard, pushing away the impending panic attack.
“Good,” I say after a long pause to breathe through the feeling, attempting to walk past them and join the rest of the team before I lose control, but the reporters step in my way, not letting me through.
I feel like a caged animal and the feeling causes my anxiety to spike. I rub my chest, trying to rub the anxious feeling away, as their questions start to blend together.
“What was recovery like?” another reporter asks, his eyes wide as he waits for me to speak into his microphone.
Does he really expect me to lay it all out for them? For people I don’t even know, when I can’t even talk about it with the people closest to me? A cold sweat breaks out and I feel the beads dripping down the back of my neck.
I open my mouth to tell him to fuck off, but I spot Eliana just over his shoulder and the words get caught in my throat. She’s staring at me with concern edged along her brow, next to the rest of my teammates who are also watching how I handle this. A sense of calm washes over me as I look back at Eliana. How is her presence alone able to chase away the panic?
My eyes bounce back to the camera man next to the reporter, pointing the large lens directly at me, reminding me that there are many eyes on me right now, not just Eliana’s. With a deep breath, I force a smile for the camera and return my attention to the reporter.
“It was a difficult journey,” I say, flashing my signature smile, “and I couldn’t have done it without the support of our fans.”
The reporters begin asking more questions, the camera men and women blinding me with the unnecessary flashes of their cameras. I hold my hand up which works to silence the questions.
“Thank you everyone, I’m happy to answer more questions after today’s competitions but right now I’m going to go get ready.”
Turning away, I make a beeline for the team tent, escaping the herd of reporters. The others have started waxing their boards while Gabriel is quietly whispering with a few other coaches from neighboring teams. Eliana, on the other hand, is watching me while she plays with the strap of her camera.
Something about how she watches me, expression full of pity, pisses me off. I don’t need her pity, I’ve had enough of that to last my lifetime. But, not wanting to be alone, in case the reporters try to question me again, I walk over to her and take a seat across from her in the sand.
“Hi,” she says, eyeing me carefully.
“Hey,” I reply with a clipped tone, tossing my board on top of the sand in front of her before I pull the wax out of my duffel bag.
She silently snaps a few photos as I prep my board. I wax the board and check the fin to make sure it’s on correctly, and I triple check that the ankle strap is in good condition, yet none of that does anything to calm the growing anxiety inside my chest. I need to get rid of this feeling, convince myself that I won’t get hurt today, but all I can focus on is the shutter of her camera.
“Can you put the camera down?” I ask through clenched teeth.
She lowers it right away and a beat of silence passes between us.
“How are you feeling?” she asks, studying me carefully.
“What, are you a reporter now too or just obsessed with me?” I reply dryly.
She frowns at my tone, looking me up and down. “I’m just checking in. You’re very quiet today.”
“Yeah, well don’t feel obligated to do that. We’re not suddenly friends just because of last night,” I say.
It’s a low blow and I know it, but I stare at Eliana with the coldest look I can muster right now, watching the hurt form in her eyes as her head rears back. Her reaction dissolves my anxiety instantly, replacing it with guilt and regret.
“Fuck you,” she hisses, teeth clenched, as her eyebrows pull into a frown.
How is it possible for someone to still be so stunningly beautiful even when they’re angry as hell?
“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” I force a smug smile.
I know what I’m saying is below the belt, but I’d rather be alone than be questioned about my feelings right now, it’s just how I am. She scoffs angrily and jumps up to her feet, leaving me behind as she wanders off to take photos of the others.
Disappointment slowly seeps into my chest, and I bury my face in my hands, staring down at the sand. She didn’t deserve to be spoken to like that, even if I am trying to get her to quit. I’ll need to apologize to her later today because right now I feel like the world’s biggest dick, in the worst way possible.
With the anxiety beginning to grow in my chest again, I resort to something I haven’t had to do in months. I pull my phone out of my bag along with my headphones, putting on a meditation podcast for the next thirty minutes, while I close my eyes and focus on breathing as the tightness in my chest ebbs away.
I jointhe rest of the team as they stand further out on the beach. The females are up first, and Maliah takes the first heat, running next to a girl with purple hair from the Rip Raiders. The girl is taller and scary looking, but I know Mal can do this. She’s improved so much since the last time I saw her surf and she’s likely the best female surfer in the region – I have no doubts she’ll win.
Mal and the purple haired glare at one another before readying their boards, eyes refocusing on the ocean. The sound of the bullhorn echoes throughout the air and all the surfers begin running towards the ocean.
Right before Mal reaches the water, the purple haired girl trips her. She falls on top of her surfboard, breaking it in half, and the crowd gasps. I peek a quick glance at Gabriel and he’s holding onto his temples, stressed, as he watches her pick herself back up.
She quickly surveys her board while the other competitors are already out in the water paddling. Deciding there’s no saving it, she starts to run towards us with both pieces of her board, so I run back to the board rack near the tent and grab her spare board, running it towards her until we meet in the middle.
“That bitch should get a penalty for that,” she huffs in frustration as she tears off the ankle strap from the broken board, replacing it with the ankle strap from her spare board.
“Don’t worry about penalties right now, just focus. You can still win it.”
Without a word, she turns back around and runs into the water, hopping onto her board and beginning her powerful paddling. When she reaches the lineup and the second horn blows, she surfs more aggressively than the others to catch a wave, and when she does, she hits perfects scores which is almost unheard of.
“She’s definitely going to need to visit our board shaper now,” Kairi mumbles as she throws the broken pieces of Mal’s board into a trash bag, completely entranced as she watches Maliah.
When Mal’s heat ends, she runs up to us, pleased with her first-place scoring. I pull her into a bear hug and spin us around twice. I notice Koa watching us closely just over her shoulder, so I shoot him a cocky wink and he returns it with a roll of his eyes before he focuses his attention on Eliana, looking her up and down before sliding his tongue across his bottom lip, causing her to blush in response.
I hate that another person can elicit that response from her. I don’t blame her; Koa is a good-looking mother fucker, but I still don’t like the way her cheeks continue to grow red under his attention. I quickly release Maliah, clearing my throat and shooting him a dirty look which he laughs at.
“You did great, Malipop,” I say, roughing up her soaked hair with my hand.
“Don’t call me that,” she laughs, swatting my hand away and fixing her hair, “it’s either Mal or Maliah. You know that.”
“Whatever you say, Malipop.” She gives me a friendly shove before walking off in search of her towel, Koa’s eyes burning into her as he passes.
I look around and notice that Eliana is walking away from us towards the shade of palm trees, so when the airhorn for Kairi’s heat blows, I leave the others in search of Eliana. It doesn’t take long to find her leaning against some palm trees. She’s staring down at her phone with glazed eyes.
You’re the world’s biggest asshole. She’s on the verge of crying because of you.
I close my eyes and take a deep breath, shoving the guilt down before I refocus on her.
“Earth to Eliana,” I say, waving my hand in front of her to catch her attention.
She jumps up, looking at me in surprise before her lips turn downward into a frown and she wipes at her watery eyes as she turns red. I hold my hands up in surrender as I take a step toward her.
“I’m having a shit day, and I took it out on you. I shouldn’t have done that,” I say, stopping in front of her.
My words do little as she continues to glare at me.
“We can talk more about it later, but my heat is next, and I figured you wouldn’t want to miss that.”
She bristles. “Why, because I’m obsessed with you?”
I close my eyes and take a deep breath before I return my eyes to hers. She looks pissed as hell and rightfully so.
“No,” I say as I approach her and place my forearm against the tree trunk above her head, caging her in, while I use my other hand to lift her chin so that she’s looking up at me, “because I want you there and because you have a job to do.”
I watch as her pink lip’s part slightly, her cheeks flushing, her eyes dilating as she looks up at me, and although it’s hot as hell outside, goosebumps run across her arms. My eyes snag on her lips and it takes everything in me not to lower my mouth to hers. Her eyes slide down to my lips and I see the want and need reflected in her eyes too.
I push myself off the tree and turn around, heading back to the others, ears strained to hear her almost silent steps behind me. When we reach the others, she stands further off to the side away from me and snaps pictures of Kairi battling it out in the water.
Kairi comes in first place for her heat which means she’s up against Maliah for first place in the final round later today.
The male surfers are up next, and Zale is placed into my heat.
“Let’s not fight each other for waves out there. I’ll stay at the opposite end of the lineup,” Zale says.
“Sounds good,” I reply before Zale walks off and takes his position at the other end of the lineup.
I stare towards the ocean, mentally preparing myself to get out there and put in my best effort but I don’t expect Colton to walk over and take a spot right next to me. I refuse to look at him, although I can see his face turned towards mine in my peripheral vision, and the silence is deafening. I can’t promise that I won’t swing at him if we make eye contact, so it’s best that I keep my eyes forward.
When the airhorn blows, I’m sprinting towards the shore, Colton keeping up beside me. As soon as we reach the water, we throw our boards down and begin paddling with all our strength. Unsurprisingly, Colton takes the lead as I’m still unable to paddle as fast as him, let alone the other surfers, but I push myself to my limits to make sure that I’m not too far behind him.
When we finally reach the lineup zone, we all sit up on our boards and stare out at the horizon waiting for the second airhorn to sound as the waves begin to swell. The first three people, including Zale, catch some massive waves minutes later, but when it comes down to Colton and me, the waves turn soft and non-surfable.
“Total chunder,” I hear Colton groan as we continue staring out at the horizon.
Minutes pass but there aren’t any new waves in sight.
“How are you doing, Fin?” he calls out to me.
“Fuck you,” I shout back, glaring at him.
How am I doing!? I should fucking drown him.
“Come on, man, I haven’t heard from you in six months,” he says, paddling closer.
“Your fake friend bullshit isn’t going to work on me, Harrison.”
“This isn’t fake friend bullshit,” Colton replies as he paddles right up to me.
His brows are pulled together in confusion, his eyes reflecting the hurt that he feels as he digests my words.
Good. It’s about time he felt a fraction of what I’ve been feeling for so many months.
“It always was,” I growl.
“It wasn’t,” he says firmly, his expression turning desperate, “you never gave me a chance to explain myself.”
“You never tried to but go ahead.”
“She kissed me, I swear. I didn’t?—”
I grind my teeth together so hard I’m surprised they don’t crack. The anger I feel right now is immeasurable.
“Oh, cut the bullshit!” I grind out.
“I swear, Fin,” he exclaims, “one second, I was giving her your wax tin and the next she had me pushed up against your car with her mouth suffocating mine. Before I could even push her off, you were punching me to the ground.”
My mind flashes back to the moment I found them and the shock as well as confusion that was written on his face after I punched him. I don’t want to believe his story. I want to stay angry with him and blame him for all my pain, but what he says makes more sense than anything I’ve managed to come up with on my own in the past six months, but why did it take him so long to tell me what happened?
I stare at him, trying my best to make sense of that part but I can’t. The airhorn blows again, signalling the end of the heat. Colton and I both finishing at zero points which means instant disqualification from the rest of the competition today. I laugh dryly and start paddling back to shore, away from him.
As I reach the shore, Gabriel stands alone, his arms crossed, watching me stiffly. He doesn’t say anything as I pass him and that’s almost worse than him yelling at me. At least when he yells, I know how he’s feeling and what he’s thinking. I walk over to the tent, tossing my board to the ground and slumping down beside it. I release a frustrated groan as I fall to my back and cover my face with my towel as warm tears stream down the side of my face.
After some time has passed, I discretely wipe away the tears and sit up. Maliah has a first-place medal around her neck, matching Koa’s, as the team makes their way back to the tent where I sit. Not wanting to talk to anybody, I put my headphones on and pretend to listen to music as I watch them celebrate the winners.