Chapter 50
Went to get coffee and donuts. Be back soon.
Love you,
C
A quiet giggle escapes my lips. If I could bet myself ten dollars he struggles to order my donut without at least a smirk, I would. I bury my face in my pillow to cover my laugh as I remember the terrible jokes from last night. Playful, silly Cam just might be my favorite.
My thoughts drift to all the different sides of Cam I’ve come to love since we first met. Helpful, selfless Cam; protective Daddy Cam; honest and supportive Cam, tender and loving Cam, sexy as hell Cam. In the end, I decide I can’t really choose one because I love them all.
I’m snapped out of my daydream by the sound of small feet paired with sweet laughter thundering down the hallway, and before I know it, Paige and Addison are launching themselves into bed with me.
I’m briefly thankful Cameron isn’t still here. The girls obviously know we all have sleepovers, but I’m not sure it fully registers that Cam and I sleep in the same bed. Without regard for any personal space, the girls snuggle up with me under the covers.
“Morning, Mommy.”
“Morning, Rosie.”
Addie’s taken to calling me Rosie the more Cameron has started using it, and I love the way it makes me feel, like we’re family.
I pull them both into my side and kiss the top of each of their little heads.
“Good morning. How did you sleep?”
“So good!” Paige exclaims, with Addie nodding along in agreement.
“Are you guys ready for some donuts?”
“Yeah!” they both squeal with a level of enthusiasm and a volume I should have prepared myself for before asking the question.
“Okay, good. Because, Addie, your dad should be home any minute with our haul of donuts.”
As if on cue, we hear the telltale sound of the front door unlocking, and the girls jump out of bed, making a beeline for Cameron.
“Incoming!” I yell when I hear the door open.
I hear Cam’s rich laughter.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa! Back away from the donut dad.”
I come around the corner to see Cam with a massive smile on his face, holding the box of donuts high above his head as the girls playfully jump and claw, trying to get them.
I sneak up behind Addie and Paige, who are too distracted by the prospect of sugar-infused bread to notice me, and swiftly grab the box from Cameron.
“I win!” I shout, taking the box to the kitchen.
There are half-hearted groans from Addie and Paige, but the mood lightens again when I immediately offer to put on a movie while they eat their breakfast.
Cameron joins me in the kitchen, carrying a tray of chocolate milks and two enormous cups of coffee.
I pull one out and immediately take a sip, closing my eyes and relishing in the warm, nutty flavor.
Truthfully, it could taste like nothing, and as long as it’s loaded with the caffeine I need for the day, I’d still chug it down.
I sigh with contentment, and Cam leans over to kiss my temple.
“Happy?”
I open my eyes and take in the handsome man gazing down at me with so much adoration before letting my eyes drift to the two girls not so patiently waiting for their donuts, and I smile.
“Incredibly.”
I lift up onto my toes and give him a peck on the lips before grabbing the two bottles of chocolate milk and taking them to the living room.
Cam is behind me with the two bags of donut holes and napkins.
The girls dig into them, each shoving a whole one in their mouth before saying a muffled “thank you.”
Cam and I return to the kitchen to grab the remaining donuts and coffee and sit down at the table. He reaches into the box and dramatically produces my donut.
“I’ll have you know, I got your long john order perfect without a hint of laughter.”
I giggle. It looks freaking delicious.
“Don’t taint our relationship with lies, Cameron Brown.”
His answering chuckle is deep and sexy, making me pause briefly before taking my first bite.
But the moment I do, and the sweet taste of maple spreads across my tongue, I moan in appreciation.
“Oh my god, this is so good.”
“Mm-hmm.”
His distracted response has me looking up from my donut to see heated eyes staring back at me from across the table.
“What?”
“That sound was indecent.”
I smirk and am ready to take another bite and up my game to tease him when a shriek and an “Oh no!” come from the living room.
Our heads whip toward the girls, and Cameron’s immediately out of his seat, but my eyes are drawn to the chocolate milk spreading like lava across the coffee table, my mom’s letters directly in its path.
My stomach lurches, and I barely register the cries of our girls in their milk-covered pajamas.
All I can see is the leather-bound book soaking up the cascading milk like a dehydrated sponge, completely destroyed…
my mom’s words, my last lifeline to her, gone.
Cameron moves toward the girls, righting the offending bottle of chocolate milk and trying to scoop up everything from the top of the table, including the book, all dripping with the milky substance.
“Rosalie, can you help the girls into new clothes?”
I hear him, but I can’t move. I’m frozen. My gaze stuck on the book in his hand. The book that contains all I have left of my mom. The book that has been holding me together since she passed away.
I can feel the panic rising, the despair.
There’s a tightness in my chest, and I can feel a sob climbing up my throat.
I can vaguely feel tears tracking down my face, but my eyes are unblinking, and I’m still rooted in place.
I know what comes next. I can feel the imminent breakdown, yet I still don’t move.
A small hand touches mine.
“Mommy, are you okay?”
And that’s when I break. A wail I can’t control rips out of my throat, and with it, I crumple into a heap on the floor.
The sounds around me are muffled, but I think I hear Paige shriek my name louder, and another little voice is repeating the words “I’m sorry” over and over again, but I’m too far gone.
The things from the coffee table drop next to me, and big hands frantically cup my face and try desperately to smooth back the hair stuck to my cheeks with tears.
“Rosie, baby, what’s wrong?”
His voice and movements are frantic, but all I see is ink running together, creating illegible black blobs in my mom’s book that’s fallen open at my feet.
I cry harder.
“Rosie, baby.” The words have a hint of firmness mixed with compassion. “You’re scaring the girls. I’m going to pick you up and take you to the bedroom, okay?”
The question is a formality and a kindness because Cameron begins to lift me from the floor while he’s saying them.
I register his words, and subconsciously, I know I need to stop. I don’t want to scare Paige and Addie, but the sobs are violent and wracking my body on autopilot.
Cameron gently lays me down on the bed, pulling my arms from around his neck. I cling desperately to him, clawing at him to stay with me.
“Please. Don’t. Go.” Each word is punctuated by a sharp gasp of breath.
Cameron kneels by the bed and kisses my forehead.
“Rosie.” The single word is choked. “I don’t want to leave you, but I have two very worried and scared girls in the living room, and I have to get back to them. They need to be reassured you’ll be okay. I’ll come back as soon as I possibly can, okay?”
My body viscerally revolts from the thought of being left like this but, logically I know he’s right. A deep part of me knows I need to get out of this bed and go comfort Paige, and even Addie, but I’m paralyzed by my grief so I do the only thing my body will let me. I nod.