Chapter 16
Tori
Standing outside a lecture hall when you didn’t belong there anymore felt a lot like loitering at your own funeral.
The building hummed with an achingly familiar energy, accompanied by the buzz of overlapping conversations. The air was filled with the smell of burnt coffee and cheap cologne.
Everyone looked like they knew where they were going. They all looked so settled, while I stood there feeling more adrift than ever.
I shoved my hands into my jacket pockets and stared at the double doors like they might personally judge me.
Kai had texted me: Don’t bail. I’ll be out in five.
Until he’d said it, I hadn’t been planning to leave, but now thoughts of doubt were creeping in.
I didn’t have a good reason not to be here. That was the problem. There was no emergency or crisis. Just a familiar ache in my chest, reminding me this place — this version of life — wasn’t mine anymore.
A group of students spilled out of the lecture hall, laughing loudly. Someone bumped my shoulder and muttered an apology without slowing down. I nodded automatically, shrinking in on myself.
I was used to being overlooked, to people literally stumbling over my five-three frame, but God, I felt conspicuous.
Too old, too out of place. Too aware of the fact I wasn’t carrying a backpack or complaining about exams or checking a student portal I couldn’t afford to access anymore.
By the time Kai emerged, cutting through the crowd with an ease bordering on unfair, my thoughts were spiraling.
He was laughing at something one of his classmates said, head tipped back, that dazzling, brilliant smile on his face, like he’d been born knowing how to belong anywhere he landed.
A couple of guys clapped him on the shoulder as they passed. Someone called his name. Someone else asked if he was coming to the gym later.
He answered all of them without missing a beat.
It hit me — not for the first time — how insane it was that he’d only been in the States for a handful of months. He was in a completely new country, playing a new sport, and surrounded by an unfamiliar system. Yet somehow, there he was, fitting in like he’d been here all along.
I felt … peripheral, like background noise.
For a split second, I was convinced everyone could tell I didn’t belong. Convinced they were clocking me as the girl hovering outside a lecture hall like a ghost with unfinished business.
If I ever actually ended up haunting a place, hopefully it wouldn't be as pitiful as this.
Then Kai’s eyes found mine and everything else dropped away.
His smile changed almost imperceptibly. He broke off mid-conversation, weaving through the crowd until he was standing in front of me.
“There you are,” he greeted, like I’d kept him waiting.
Before I could respond — a sarcastic comment already on the tip of my tongue — he hooked a finger through one of my belt loops and pulled me half a step closer. It was casual, familiar and absolutely devastating.
I sucked in a sharp breath, my eyes widening just a fraction.
“This is Tori,” he told the guy nearest him who’d followed him through the crowd. “She’s the one I told you about.”
The one.
I didn’t even have time to panic before the dude nodded at me with a grin. “Right. Yeah. That tracks.”
Kai frowned. “What does?”
“Your behavior,” he said simply, grinning. “Well, I’ll leave you to it. See you on Thursday, bro!”
After a second, a look of comprehension dawned on Kai’s face, and he rolled his eyes at him.
“Yeah, see ya!”
He turned to face me, giving me another of his smiles. Just like that, the noise faded. The stares stopped mattering. I wasn’t hovering anymore — I was with him.
Or at least, I thought I was.
“Hey, Kai.”
The voice was light and sweet, but to me, it was as jarring as a record scratch.
I glanced sideways and studied her, trying not to be too obvious. Ponytail, glossy lips, campus hoodie definitely not issued by the athletic department. She leaned in just a bit, her fingers brushing his arm like it was the most natural thing in the world.
“I didn’t know you had plans.” Her eyes flicked to me with polite curiosity barely masking the underlying assessment before pouting at Kai. “I thought maybe we could grab a coffee.”
Completely oblivious to the subtle tension, Kai smiled at her. Of course he fucking did.
“Oh! Yeah, nah. Can’t, sorry. We’re headed to the field. Gotta work on some drills.”
Her pout intensified. “That’s too bad.” She leaned even closer. “You should be careful. We don't want you to overdo it.”
She winked, and something ugly and primal stirred in my chest.
Before I could overthink it — or, rather, before I could talk myself out of it — I slid my hand around Kai’s wrist, pressing my thumb lightly against the inside of his arm where I could feel his pulse beating.
“I’ll take care of him,” I said easily, trying to keep my expression calm and pleasant. It was nothing like the deadly, inexplicable rage twisting my insides. “He’s got practice again tomorrow, so I can’t have him wrecking his hips tonight.”
Kai blinked, and the girl stared at me, wide-eyed and with her brows almost disappearing into her hairline.
“Oh.” Her smile faltered. “Right. Well … good luck.”
She retreated with an awkward laugh, but not before giving me one last look — equal parts curiosity and resignation.
The moment she was gone, Kai turned to me slowly.
“You, uh…” He stumbled over his words, his brows knitting together. “You didn’t have to—”
“I know.” Heat was creeping up my neck. “She was making a play.”
Kai’s brows drew together and he tilted his head to the side like a confused puppy. “A play?”
Lord, grant me strength.
“For you.”
A beat passed.
“… Oh. Oh!” His mouth twitched. “That explains some things.”
“Does it?” I narrowed my eyes and dropped his wrist.
“Absolutely.”
I pursed my lips, trying to make sense of the maelstrom of emotion whirling in my chest. “Right.”
“You know,” he drawled. “You were … kinda territorial just now.”
“I was not,” I snapped, taking off at a fast clipped pace, utterly mortified.
He laughed under his breath, catching up to me in two long strides. “Mm. If you say so.”
“Don’t read into it.”
I glanced back just in time to see him grinning to himself, like he’d uncovered a secret he planned to treasure.
“Into what?”
“Anything,” I grumbled, gesturing in a circle. “There’s no reason to be happy about this, Whitaker. You’re leaving. Remember?”
Kai quietly followed in my wake but when his hand found the small of my back, I didn’t step out of his reach.
The football field stretched out in front of us, golden and quiet in the late afternoon light. In the distance, mountains loomed, hazy and steady, watching as they always did.
I climbed onto the sled and planted my feet. “Let’s see what you’ve got.”
Kai grinned like he’d been waiting for this all day. “Try not to fall off.”
“I won’t.” I touched the tip of my finger to his forehead and pushed him back slightly. “Push, Pretty Boy.”
And push he did, his powerful, thick legs driving him forward, his hips low and his muscles bunching as the sled propelled forward.
“Again,” I barked. “And don’t pop up. I want your hips down.”
He adjusted immediately, the movement smoother this time.
God, I loved watching him work.
We ran footwork drills next. Kai hit the boxes quickly, his cleats snapping against the turf in sharp, uneven beats. He was too eager and way too heavy on the first step.
I circled him. “You’re cheating the pivot.”
“I’m not cheating,” Kai panted, hopping back into position. “I’m improvising.”
I shoved his shoulder as he moved past me. Not that it had much of an impact on him.
“That is cheating.” I gave him a flat stare.
He laughed under his breath and tried again, feet tapping through the boxes, hips lagging just a fraction behind.
I snapped my fingers. “Hips first. You’re thinking with your legs.”
“Didn’t realize my body parts had opinions,” he shot back.
“They do.” I stepped into his space and tapped two fingers against his side. “And right now they’re wrong.”
That earned me a smug, breathless grin, his collar already darkening with sweat. This time, he finished the pattern cleaner, the pivot snapping sharply and under control at the end.
“Better, but don’t get excited.” Lifting my hand I hit him with the ‘I’m watching you’gesture.
“I live for your approval,” he declared solemnly.
I rolled my eyes. “Water break, before you die dramatically on my field.”
“Righto. Let’s leave the theatrics to Janet.”
Kai jogged to the sideline, grabbed his bottle and took a long drink. Water spilled down his chin and onto his throat before disappearing into his shirt.
My mouth suddenly felt as dry as fucking sawdust. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and glanced over at me.
“You stare like that with all your athletes?”
“Only the ones who don’t listen.” I crossed my arms in front of my chest. “And you’re still opening your stance too wide.”
Kai capped the bottle and wandered back, more slowly this time, his dark eyes filled with heat. “You see everything, huh?”
“Mm.” I stepped behind him as he reset. “It’s kind of the job.”
He swallowed, pushing inky black strands of hair out of his sweaty face.
Fuck me.
“Again.” Why the fuck did my voice just get all raspy? Ugh. “And don’t rush it. Let me see you feel it this time.”
He moved smoother and slower this time, finally leading the turn with his hips as he should have been doing all along. I followed closely behind, close enough to guide him with my hand on his lower back when he veered off course, close enough to feel the heat radiating from him.
“Yesss!” I clapped excitedly. “There. That’s what I’m fucking talking about!”
Kai was bent at the waist with his hands on his thighs, breathing hard. When he looked up at me, curling the corner of his mouth up ever so slightly, my heart skipped a beat.
Ugh, he was gorgeous.
“See?” I cleared my throat. “When you stop thinking, your body figures it out.”
He nodded, rising to his full height again. “You always say that.”
“Because you never listen.” I raked my eyes over his impressive form. I wasn’t thirsty anymore, I was fucking parched. Down, girl.
Kai laughed and moved into the bag drills without complaint, taking hits, resetting, reacting faster each time. When we paused, he dropped onto the grass beside where I was standing, staring up at the sky.
“What were you studying again?” The question landed more heavily than I’d expected. I sat down beside him and pulled my knees up to my chest.
I snorted. “Which time?”
He turned his head, curiosity glinting in those dark eyes. “There were multiple?”
“Psychology.” I counted on my fingers. “Then nursing. Then education.”
“Bit of a theme,” he murmured.
“Yeah. Turns out I like helping people; I just can’t decide exactly how I want to do it. I also hate committing.”
Kai smiled at my response, then sobered. “I reckon you’re good at helping people.”
I shrugged, trying not to let him see how much his words affected me. “I was good at a lot of things I couldn’t afford to keep doing.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
I sighed, the shame seizing me threatened to crush me. “Never even finished any of those. I was funding my college stint with a government grant, but it ran out because I took too long to decide on my major. Stupid, I know.”
“You’re not stupid.” After a moment's silence, Kai said softly, “My mum always says everything happens for a reason, even if we may not see it immediately. You’ll end up exactly where you’re supposed to be and … I for one am glad you’re here.”
So was I, because despite everything — the bills, the sacrifices, the paths I’d had to abandon — this felt right. Standing on a field, yelling at him and watching him trust me with the parts of himself he didn’t show anyone else.
I leaned back on my hands and watched the sky darken rapidly as the sunset painted it in the most luminous shades of orange.
“Alright.” I brushed the turf off my hands. “One more rep.”
Kai groaned but stood anyway, his eyes ablaze. “Anything for you, Love.”
And damn it — I believed him.