Chapter 25
Tori
The weirdest part wasn’t waking up tangled with Kai — that had become disturbingly normal. It was the weight of the silence blanketing us, like we’d crossed some invisible line and neither of us knew how to go back.
Kai was already awake, propped on one elbow, watching me like he was memorizing every last one of my eyelashes. The morning light caught in his thick, inky black hair, turning him into something almost stupidly soft.
“Morning.”
His voice was husky with sleep and sent a pleasurable shiver straight through me. I could feel my nipples hardening in response, so I rolled onto my stomach and hid my face in the pillow.
His deep, delighted laugh rumbled through his chest, making the mattress shake ever so slightly beneath us. Then his fingers brushed my shoulder, tracing slow, gentle circles on my skin as though it were the most natural thing in the world.
I let him, even pushed myself into his touch, craving more.
There was no panic, no urge to run away, as I’d expected. Instead, I felt a tremor in my ribs and an ache under my sternum.
I was all in. So deep, I couldn't see a way out anymore. If he ever changed his mind and went back on his promise, I’d shatter.
I knew it.
He probably knew it, too.
But to keep up the pretense that we were ‘just friends with benefits’ after last night would have been the biggest lie I had ever told.
Kai kissed my shoulder, lingering with his lips and breathing warmly across my bare skin. Then, with a dramatic sigh, he flopped down on my back, forcing the air out of my lungs.
“How’re you feeling?”
“Like you’re heavy,” I grumbled into my pillow.
“You love me.”
“I really don’t.”
“Liar.”
He knew me too well.
Later that morning, when I came into the kitchen, I was startled at finding him washing dishes at the sink. When did he even get here? I just left his house an hour ago!
Although this wasn’t the worst visual I’d encountered in this kitchen. He did have a nice ass. Whatever those rugby players did on leg day, it fucking worked.
“Kai,” I moaned. “You can’t keep doing this.”
He didn't even spare me a glance; he just kept scrubbing while humming happily.
“Too late, Love. Already soapy.”
Love.
He’d been playing with this word, testing it out. Watching me react.
I hated how good it sounded coming from him; the twang of his accent was more pronounced than ever. Leaning against the counter, I folded my arms in front of my chest and glared at his profile, pretending I wasn’t melting on the inside.
“You don’t have to do that.”
“I know.” He shrugged. “You do everything else. Let me do something.”
And there it was again. The gentle, steady desire to care for me in a way I didn’t know how to handle.
It was dangerous in so many ways, so I turned away before he could see the effect it had on me. Suddenly, a long, dramatic noise came from the hallway, making us both whirl around.
“Oh, woe is me … my time has come…”
Kai looked ready to bolt her way but I just pinched the bridge of my nose. “Gran, why?”
Leaning in with wide eyes, he whispered, “Should I get the cowboy hat?”
“No.” I shot him a glare. “You need to stop encouraging her.”
“Yes,” Gran croaked. “Fetch the ceremonial headpiece, my dear!”
“No!”
There was a loud thud, so we rushed into the hallway … and found her lying face down on the carpet with her arms thrown out wide as though she had been struck down by a vengeful God.
Kai gasped. “Holy shit! Janet! Are you—”
She lifted her head an inch and peered up at us.
“Oh hi, darling. Don’t mind me. Just practicing my dramatic exit in case fate strikes during my show.”
“You—” I stared. “Seriously, Gran?”
“Death comes for us all, darling. Even during prime time.”
Kai knelt beside her, his brows furrowed with concern. “Are you actually okay? Do you need water? A defibrillator?”
Gran patted his arm. “You sweet thing. If I die, you and Tori get the house.”
“GRAN!”
She winked at him. “I’m kidding. Mostly.”
Kai grinned like she’d handed him a medal and if I hadn’t already known I was doomed, I would have realized it at this point.
When he straightened up, he glanced at me out of the corner of his eye. “I got to run soon. I’ve got practice in an hour.”
“Practice?” Gran perked up, lifting her head up all the way now. “Sounds like fun.”
I scoffed. “What about football practice sounds like fun for an eighty-seven-year-old woman?”
“For research, obviously,” she quipped, slowly getting up from the floor and brushing dust off her clothes.
Research my ass.
“She can come. I mean…” Kai rubbed the back of his neck when my gaze snapped his way. “Both of you can.”
Gran clapped her hands together in delight. “Wonderful. Let me just get ready.”
“You’ve got no idea what you’ve just done.” I shook my head in horror.
Kai just shrugged, his cheeks a little flushed, then hitched a thumb over his shoulder. “Got to go grab my stuff. Meet you out there?”
“Sure.” I sighed, knowing there was no way I’d talk Gran out of this now.
Twenty minutes later, she appeared in the doorway, wearing a giant sunhat, sunglasses the size of satellites and another one of her feather boas, red this time. Another wave of horror swept over me as I spotted the plastic megaphone in her hand.
“Tori,” she declared, “take me to see the big handsome men tackle each other.”
Kai choked on his own spit, covering his mouth with his hand to hide his laughter.
“I am not bringing you to practice like that.” I vehemently shook my head. “No way.”
Gran waved a dismissive hand. “I need fresh air. Vitamin D. A reason to live.”
“You have me.” I shot a sideways glance at the giant next to me. “And Kai.”
“Yes,” she agreed, dramatically flapping her boa around. “He is very easy on the eyes. But I also want to judge the other boys.”
Kai whispered to me, “It’s fine. Tāne won’t mind … I think.”
“Tāne is terrified of her.”
“Same difference.”
And that was how I found myself at Kai's practice, with Gran sitting on the metal bleachers like royalty on a throne. She had brought binoculars, a notebook and — how could I ever forget — the megaphone.
Kai kept glancing at her and waving like she was his personal cheerleader. Gran blew him kisses and I … I considered voluntary exile.
When Kai made a clean tackle, she stood and shouted into her megaphone. “brEAK HIM LIKE A LITTLE CHICKEN!”
Every player on the field froze, and the quarterback even dropped the ball in shock.
Kai burst out laughing as though her ridiculousness was the highlight of his day. Then he looked up at me, and a mixture of terror and warmth washed over me.
He waved to me too, not in a cocky way, but like he was just ecstatic to see me here. My knees went weak, and despite my best efforts to suppress it, I couldn't help but smile.
Damn him and his golden retriever energy.
Gran lowered the megaphone and hummed thoughtfully, watching Kai through her binoculars. “The boy likes you.”
I scoffed. “Gran, he likes everyone.”
“Mmm.” She adjusted the focus. “No, darling. He’s nice to everyone. There’s a difference.”
I folded my arms and fixed my gaze on the field. “You don’t know that.”
She finally looked at me, giving me one of those probing looks like she was staring straight into my soul. “I know what it looks like when a man shows up even when he doesn’t have to.”
My jaw tightened and I stubbornly averted my gaze.
“Not the time or the place, Gran.”
“I disagree, darling. If we always wait around for a convenient time, we’d never get anything done. Your father didn’t show up,” she said quietly. “Not for you. Not for your mom. And I know you learned plenty of lessons from that.”
I swallowed hard, my brows furrowing as I stared at Kai’s figure moving down the field.
“But don’t you go thinking,” she continued, tapping my knee with one knobby finger, “all men are cut from the same rotten cloth just because one of them failed you.”
Kai jogged past the sideline, sweaty and grinning, eyes flicking up to us like he wanted to make sure we were still there.
Gran followed my gaze. “Kai keeps choosing you. Over and over. Even when you push him away. Even when you get prickly.”
“I do not get prickly.” I wrinkled my nose.
She arched a brow. “Darling, you’re as prickly as a cactus.”
I huffed, but my throat felt tight. “He’s not staying, Gran. You know this as well as I do.”
“He’s not.” Gran reached for my hand, squeezing it with surprising strength. “But it doesn’t mean you can’t let him care for you while he’s here. He’s not leaving right now, is he? You don’t have to barricade your heart just because the future’s uncertain.”
Kai glanced over again and waved back, looking a little sheepish. I waved back before I could stop myself.
Gran smiled like she’d just won something. “See? Not all men leave scars. Some of them just leave a girl wondering when she stopped feeling so alone.”
I swallowed hard. “You make it sound simple.”
“Oh, it’s not.” She cheerfully lifted the megaphone. “It’s terrifying. But life isn’t meant to always be comfortable.”
I winced as the megaphone cracked. “RUN IT AGAIN, WHITAKER! YOU CAN DO BETTER!”
Kai laughed and nodded like he’d just been personally knighted.
Gran leaned closer to me. “Terrifying doesn’t mean wrong, darling.”
I watched him line up again, my heart thudding a little harder than before. Kai was leaving, but deep down, I suspected — or perhaps both feared and hoped — he would consider staying if I’d only asked.
Except I didn’t want to when I wasn’t even sure if I wanted to stay in this place. If I had the chance, I wouldn't mind seeing what was out there. Kai’s future wasn’t here; that much I was sure of.
He’d told me about the life awaiting him back home — a loving family and the sport he’d dreamed of playing professionally his whole life.
I could never ask him to give any of this up; I would never put him in that position.
But, for the first time, I didn’t immediately reject the idea of a future for us. If he’d asked me outright to come with him, would I tell him no?
The thought circled in my mind, over and over again, until practice wrapped up and Kai jogged over, his face sweaty and flushed. He was endearingly obnoxious in a way threatening to overwhelm me.
“You see that?” He was breathing hard. “Nailed the angle change. Felt bloody good.”
I swallowed. “Yeah. You looked … good.”
He stepped closer, so close I could feel the heat he exuded and smell the sweat coating his skin.
“Tori.”
The way he said my name was beginning to feel like a problem.
“We’re okay, right?” Kai implored me quietly. “After last night?”
I opened and closed my mouth, then opened it again. He brushed my cheekbone with the back of his knuckles so gently it almost wasn’t a touch at all.
“You don’t have to say it,” he murmured. “Just … stay with me. Yeah?”
My throat closed and I swallowed hard. My mouth was suddenly too dry to force any words out.
I would stay.
As we walked back to his car — after watching Gran take a ‘victory lap’ around the field she insisted on — Kai slipped his fingers into mine.
If he breaks me, I’ll never recover.
But the truth I couldn’t run from anymore was … I wasn’t letting go either.