Chapter Five #2
And he was right back to feeling like crap. From what he
understood, this young woman had been through complete hell. She was a lot like
him. Walking wounded, and she was so young. “I would be happy to give you some
tips. I’m surprised you weren’t trained in hand to hand.”
“Oh, they train us in weaponry and poisons, but they do not
care if we can defend ourselves. See, if we can defend against the enemy, we
might be able to defend against them. They can control when we have weapons,
but not if our body is the weapon,” she replied simply. “They like to keep us
as helpless as possible. If we die, then there is always someone else to take
our places. But you know these things.”
He did indeed. “Yes. I know what it means to be nothing more
than a weapon to be used and discarded when it no longer serves. Let me know
when you have time. I’m on the third floor and beyond working, I don’t have
much to do.”
“Because you won’t come to the club. Like I said, if you
aren’t interested in Vivi, there are several subs who are a lot of fun,” Oliver
offered. “I should introduce you to Sue.”
Sosa shook her head. “No. She is ticking biological bomb.”
Mal stared at her. “I’m sorry—what?”
“Her bomb begins ticking, and she is not as slutty anymore,”
Sosa said like that was normal.
“Oliver, have you done a background check on this woman? It
wouldn’t be the first time someone pretended to be a submissive to get close to
an operative,” Mal warned.
Oliver’s eyes rolled. “I assure you Slutty Sue is exactly
who she says she is, though apparently now she wants a nipper. Well, I shall
stay far away from that. Sosa, what do you know that I don’t know?”
Sosa shrugged again. “Probably nothing.”
“I’ll take you to Costco and buy you whatever you want,”
Oliver offered.
“He’s already slept with Vivian, and I don’t know what
happened because no one will let me in the dungeon,” she began. “I have to stay
in locker room or conference room.”
“Because we’re fairly certain you’re not even nineteen yet,”
Oliver shot back.
Sosa ignored him. “I think this hurts Vivi, which is sad
because she is nice woman. Yes, she annoys me greatly, but this is her job. She
cannot help.”
“How the hell do you know that?” Mal felt like the ground
shifted beneath him.
“That she is nice? Well, I think it is called observation,”
Sosa began. “When we spend much time with people we get to know them. Vivian is
good person. Also nice. Sometimes they are not the same thing. Normally nice is
boring, but she’s not a mat for doors. I think Damon is wrong to keep saying no
to her. Vivian knows what she wants. She doesn’t pretend. She say things like
they are. Only softer.”
“I meant about me and Vivian,” Mal corrected.
Sosa nodded like she finally understood. “Oh, see Kala
Taggart, the cool Bratz doll, she pays me to spy on Lucy. I make things up
about her calling for her satanic overlord because Kala is bored by what Lucy
actually does. It’s a lot of work and reading and taking care of plants. But I
am woman of word. I spy on her, and sometimes I hear things that she is also
hearing. They make the boom boom at the club, but it
does not go well. I think there is problems with his penis.”
What the actual living hell? “There are no problems with my
penis.”
Oliver’s eyes lit with amusement, leaning in eagerly.
“What’s wrong with his penis?”
Sosa shrugged. “No idea. They are very ladylike when they
talk about the boom boom.”
“Could we not call it the boom boom?”
Mal was caught in a surrealistic hell plane. “And there’s nothing wrong with my
penis.”
Sosa ignored him entirely. “Maybe he lose it in the jungle.
Like his leg.”
“I did not lose it in the jungle. I came out of the jungle
with my penis and my leg, and then they took the leg at hospital.” He stopped.
He was defending his penis from a traumatized Russian teenaged assassin and an
overly gossipy rich British spy. He should be offended.
Why? Why the hell should he be offended? It was funny. It
was ridiculously funny.
“Is he going to explode? Did we break him?” Sosa asked.
“I don’t know. He might make another boom boom. An emotional boom,” Oliver added.
And Mal laughed. He let his head fall back and he laughed
his arse off. Because it was ridiculous and silly and
true.
“He is going to explode,” Sosa said with a shake of her
head.
“No, I think this is called progress.” Oliver had a half
smile on his face. “But we’re going to talk about Vivian.”
Well, that was way less funny.
Month Two
Mal sat in William’s office and hated the
fact that the waterfall really was soothing. He’d rolled his eyes the first day
and now the sound settled something in him. It was annoying. It was his sixth
appointment, and the space was getting to him. The colors were quite lovely,
and the sound did something for him.
“How is the training with Sosa going?” William asked.
Ah, the warm-up questions. They were always about his life
now and how he was handling the new job and new people. Then they would move on
the useless things. Like his past.
“She’s a smart girl, though she asks odd questions,” he
replied. “She’s quick on her feet.”
“Odd questions?”
“She’s both incredibly street-smart and na?ve. Like she can
hack into a security system, but she didn’t know she could download games on
the phone Damon gave her. Let me tell you, we lost a lot of training time that
day,” he admitted.
The young Russian girl was rapidly becoming part of his
life. But she brought up Vivian all the time. It was the annoying part. And the
part he looked forward to.
“I don’t think there were a lot of games where she came
from,” William replied with a hint of a smile. And then he straightened up, and
Mal knew they were about to get to the point of today’s session. “You mentioned
your ex-wife called? How did that go?”
Mal took a long breath. “She told me my brother disappeared.
Again. Her second son needs… I don’t know. It was something about his ears.”
He needed tubes in his ears.
It wasn’t about the ears. She could get that problem solved
via national health. But there were other things no one was willing to help her
with at this point.
“I’m surprised you picked up,” William said in that
irritatingly soothing tone of his. Mal sometimes wondered if he practiced that
tone or if he was naturally this fucking calm. “What did she think you could do
about his ears?”
“She called from another number, and when I’m working, I
pick up. And she told me about the ears because she wanted sympathy before she
asked for what she truly needs.” He wasn’t sure why he hadn’t hung up. It had
been odd. He’d been standing in the hall outside his flat, which was nothing
more than the furnishings it came with and his clothes in the closet. He stood,
looking down over the lower floors since the entire building surrounded The
Garden on the bottom floor, and it was easy to watch the office floors.
He’d been watching as Vivian walked out of her office and he
hadn’t bothered to look down at his phone. He’d just answered, and he hadn’t
hung up. He’d watched Vivian walking while Andrea spoke. While Andrea pleaded
and begged.
“And what does she need?”
“Rent money. Food money. Pretty much money,” he replied.
“She pointed out that my name is still on Christopher’s birth certificate even
if the DNA test proves I’m his uncle not his father. She thinks she could take
me to court.”
William was quiet for a moment, studying him carefully. He
was the definition of the modern, intellectual man. Neatly dressed. Slacks and
a button-down and gold, wire-framed glasses. “It’s possible that she could. How
did that make you feel?”
This was the question he hated, and it came up every time
and every time he had a prepared and tempered response. “I understand she’s in
a bad position. My brother left her high and dry, and my mum only cares about
Bryce, so I’m sure she’s blaming Andrea for everything coming apart. Or me.”
“And how does that make you feel?”
He gritted his teeth but forced himself to stay calm. “I
told you. I understand where she’s coming from. She’s got two kids, no job, and
council assistance doesn’t cover everything. I’m sure it’s difficult to watch
your children suffer.”
“How did the call conclude?” William asked.
“I explained I couldn’t help and she should call Bryce.”
Even though he knew Bryce was in the wind and wouldn’t be found. He was in some
other woman’s bed, letting her take care of him. Or he was off chasing some
ridiculous dream of his. Bryce was full of wild dreams that usually cost
someone else money.
It wasn’t his problem.
“Did that make you feel more in control?”
“It didn’t make me feel anything. It’s not my problem. I’m
not particularly worried about her trying to drag me in since it requires money
to hire a solicitor. If she doesn’t have rent money, I doubt she’s got a
retainer,” he said with a bored sigh. “That is the extent of my feelings.”
William set down his pen and notepad and stared at Mal for a
moment. “I can’t continue these sessions if you’re never going to be honest
with me. I did this as a favor for a friend, but I would be doing you a
disservice if I continue to force you to be here when it’s clear you don’t want
to be.”
Mal sat for a moment in complete shock. “I’ve been perfectly
pleasant with you. I haven’t complained and I’m always on time.”
Friend. What did he mean by friend? Who was the friend? Was
Vivi the friend? How were they friends? It was almost guaranteed that this man
would want her. Had they dated? Or was he simply another sad sack looking at
her and not being able to have her?
“Therapy isn’t about pleasant conversations,” William
explained. “It’s about difficult ones. It’s about having a safe space to
examine what you’re feeling and why you’re feeling it. If you never admit you
have feelings, then there’s no reason to be here. I’ll have a talk with Vivian
about how to proceed. I’m perfectly happy with clearing you for work.”
“You can do that?” He wanted to ask why he hadn’t done that
weeks ago. He’d wasted time and put off work to sit in this bloody office once